Hope everybody had a nice Thanksgiving. Our yearly gathering to feast on the finest genetically mutated bird meat money can buy was the usual well-attended affair. I come from a big family (in both number and poundage) with greatly varied tastes so we’ve found it best to cover all the bases in one fowl swoop. Thank you, John Madden, for cluing us in to this wonder of modern science. If it wasn’t for your constant pimping of the turducken on Thanksgiving football, I can only imagine the yearly chaos we’d have at the dinner table. Well, now that our appetite for bird has been satisfied, let’s turn to our appetite for pigskin in this super-special abbreviated edition of the Highway To
Saints over Panthers – Cheer up, Panther fans, only 30 shopping days left until Christmas. All these pathetic performances will ensure you find a Bill Cowher under your tree.
Giants over Vikings – I can’t figure out the Giants. Are they the team that won six in a row or the team that got a 45 dropped on them by Dallas and barely squeaked by the Dolphins?
Redskins over Buccaneers – Jason Campbell is a damn fine quarterback. Too bad he plays for the Redskins.
Broncos over Bears – The Broncos have one of the worst rush defenses in the league. Unfortunately, the Bears have Cedric Benson, who went to the Rashan Sallam School of “How to play running back for the Chicago Bears.”
Browns over Texans – The Ping Ponging Field Goal of Doom last week has me convinced the Browns are a team of destiny.
Jaguars over Bills – HOW COULD THE PATS RUN UP THE SCORE ON KEVIN EVERETT APPRECIATION NIGHT??? BELICHEK IS TRULY THE ANTICHRIST!!!
Rams over Seahawks – The “real” Rams have finally bothered to show up after laying a goose egg through the first half of the season.
Titans over Bengals - Pacman Jones reportedly got into a fight with fellow Titan Albert Haynesworth at a team function this past week. No word on whether he threw salt in his eyes and then smacked him over the head with a metal folding chair, though.
Cardinals over 49ers - One team can score. One team cannot. That is really all you need to know.
Chiefs over Raiders – Guess we all know why Damon Huard only got to play once every five years. Brodie Croyle provided a much-needed spark on offense last week. Although by far the most impressive thing about Croyle is his crazy hot wife.
Chargers over Ravens – The Ravens offense was on the field for a whopping 8 minutes in the entire first half against the mighty Cleveland Browns. Gee, wonder how they’ll do against San Diego. Hope the Ravens D has been working on their cardio.
Patriots over Eagles – The only question is which will be higher at the end of the day: The Patriots’ score or Andy Reid’s upstanding young sons?