NFL Hates Steelers; 2008 Schedule Released

Infinite Monkey theorem in action

The Infinite Monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will eventually type something that actually makes sense.

Clearly, this is the how the NFL created their schedule for the 2008 football season.

How else can you explain the murderous slate handed down to our beloved Pittsburgh Steelers? We didn’t receive the 9th hardest schedule, which would logically correspond to our position in the draft. We didn’t receive the 5th hardest schedule, which is where we finished in overall defense. Where does our schedule rank you may ask?

Numero Uno.

Yep, we got the hardest schedule in the NFL. Which is a little perplexing considering, at 10-6 last season, our record was worse than the Wild Card team we played in the playoffs. The New York Football Giants also finished 10-6 but, I don’t know if you heard, they won the freakin’ Super Bowl. They’re way down at 16th most difficult, two spots below those plucky Cowboys, who clearly need an easy schedule so they can make their yearly one and done trip to the post-season.

Here’s your official 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers schedule:

Sunday, Sept. 7 vs. Texans 1 p.m. (CBS)
Sunday, Sept 14 @ Browns 8:15 p.m. (NBC)
Sunday, Sept. 21 @ Eagles 4:15 p.m. (CBS)
Monday, Sept. 29 vs. Ravens 8:30 p.m. (ESPN)
Sunday, Oct. 5 @ Jaguars 8:15 p.m. (NBC)
Sunday, Oct. 12 Bye
Sunday, Oct. 19 @ Bengals 1 p.m. (CBS)
Sunday, Oct. 26 vs. Giants 4:15 p.m. (FOX)
Monday, Nov. 3 @ Redskins 8:30 p.m. (ESPN)
Sunday, Nov. 9 vs. Colts 4:15 p.m. (CBS)
Sunday, Nov. 16 vs. Chargers 4:15 p.m. (CBS)
Thursday, Nov. 20 vs. Bengals 8:15 p.m. (NFLN)
Sunday, Nov. 30 @ Patriots 4:15 p.m. (CBS)
Sunday, Dec. 7 vs. Cowboys 4:15 p.m. (FOX)
Sunday, Dec. 14 @ Ravens 1 p.m . (CBS)
Sunday, Dec. 21 @ Titans 1 p.m. (CBS)
Sunday, Dec. 28 vs. Browns 1 p.m. (CBS)

Quite a row to hoe, eh? Speaking of which, now that Steely McBeam has been canned, can we please bring back the Steelerettes? They might be the only saving grace this year when we’re going to be very very lucky to go 8-8.

Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe this is much ado about nothing. Maybe this is just a quirk in the scheduling that affects all the top teams. Let’s take a look at the bottom of the list. Surely the parity-obsessed NFL will give the easiest schedules to the teams that sucked the worst. Who’s got the easiest schedule in the NFL next year?

The New England Patriots.

What?!?! The same New England Patriots that went 16-0 last year? The same New England Patriots that were one game choke job away from a perfect season? The same New England Patriots that, with the exception of a few close games, pretty much blew out every team they played last year? Those New England Patriots? Easiest schedule?

Somebody better sit that monkey back down at his typewriter and tell him to try again.

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Tags: 2008 Schedule Afc Cleveland Browns Cowboys Dallas Dallas Cowboys Dolphins Football Infinite Monkey Infinite Monkey Theoreum Jacksonville Jaguars Miami Monday Night Football Monkeys New England Nfc NFC North NFL Patriots Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Steelers Steelers Steely Mcbeam Super Bowl

  • The Duke from Dukes Court

    The easiest schedule went to the Pats?  How could that happen?  I thought that if you won your division you had to play the 1st place team in the other divisions, am I missing something here?The one thing about strength of schedule that should be taken into consideration is that some of the good teams from last year will be bad, and vice versa, so you can’t look at the schedule too hard. 

  • Chris

    Here’s the strength of schedule grid:

    I probably should’ve put that in my post but I was too busy looking for pictures of monkeys sitting at typewriters.

    Your point is a good one, tho.   What looks murderous now might not be so bad since the NFL season has such highs and lows.   For example, the Cowgirls played like crap whenever TO was out and you never know which Eli will show up. 

    Still, I hate the Patriots so any chance I have to bitch about them, I’ll take it.

  • Jeff

    Are you aware of the system that is actually used to determine schedules in the NFL?  Six games out of ten are divisional opponents (of course).  But the remaining 10 are pre-determined by a strict system.  You play one division in your own conference and one division in the other conference (these are chosen by rotation).  That means that only two games are not pre-determined years in advance.  But even those two games are determined by a system.  From the two divisions in your own conference that you are not scheduled to play, you play the two teams that had the same divisional finish that you did the year before. 

    In most cases, this provides a pretty equitable schedule.  But in this particular year, the divisional assignments just so happened to fall when the AFC South and NFC East (whom the Steelers play) was strong and the AFC West and NFC West (whom the Patriots play) are weak.  This is not the NFL ‘hating’ the Steelers.  It is just pure dumb luck.