ESPN Steeler Preview Lacks Sex Appeal

Steelers beat writer/loveable curmudgeon Ed Bouchette appeared on ESPN last Friday to discuss the upcoming season.

As you watch the video, I’m sure you’re thinking the same thing I am. Who’s the chick interviewing Uncle Ed? Where’s that sexy Dana Jacobson? She may be a Michigan girl but seeing as the Detroit Red Wings crushed the Penguins to win the Stanley Cup, I see no reason for her to hold a grudge against Pittsburgh. What’s the point of employing a woman who could easily be Kim Cattrall’s cuter (but far easier) younger sister if you’re not going to use her for important things like talking dirty about the Steelers?

While lack of eye candy makes this clip an immediate fail, there is one part I found quite amusing. When the airhead questions what expectations we have for the Steelers this year, Uncle Ed sets her straight. This is why being a fan of the Black and Gold is a little more difficult than for those having the misfortune of living in other NFL cities. Other teams are happy with mediocrity or ecstatic with a playoff berth. Anything less than a ring and Steeler Nation considers the year a failure.

Some quick links:

RB Rashard Mendenhall got drilled on the first day of drills. He was stuffed twice on goaline simulations. Of course, it was by our first-team defense. You have to think when veterans like Aaron Smith or 2nd round picks like Lamarr Woodley see the big money rookie take the field, they’re even more motivated to stuff him like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Former Pro-Bowl LB (and WCW wrestler) Kevin Greene has been working with some of our young linebackers. Another former Steeler great, Jason Gildon, also showed up to drop some knowledge on those suckas.

Eddie Drummond, a Pro Bowl kick returner for Detroit back in 2004, has been signed in the Steeler’s never-ending quest to improve their pathetic special teams. He played last year for the Chiefs. Oh great, sign more cast-offs from horrible teams. At least if he makes the team it’ll give me a chance to demonstrate my vast knowledge of “Different Strokes” trivia.

Going into week 2 of training camp, no changes to the Physically Unable to Perform list are expected. In other words, S Troy Polamalu remains so lame his new nickname should be “Eight Belles” and NT Casey Hampton remains on a seefood diet, namely whatever he sees, the fatass eats.