With the New England Patriots lacking the services of franchise QB Tom Brady and being far from the undefeated juggernaut which rampaged through the NFL last season, I thought it might be useful to provide my fellow members of Steeler Nation a few reminders why we should still hate the Fighting Belicheats.
5) Tom Brady is a dandy.
Kordell Stewart had his sexuality questioned when he cried bitter manly tears after Coach Bill Cowher benched him during a poor performance. What would people think if there were pictures of him carrying a man purse? Also, note the hat. Even their star quarterback can’t stand the Bosox.
“Hey Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!”
- Kramer, from “Seinfeld”
4) Everybody needs a break from hating the Red Sox.
Sure we all felt sorry for them when they hadn’t won in 90 years but now that they’ve taken two in the last five years, they’ve quickly wore out their welcome. Cub fans are the worst but at least you can laugh at them when they experience their inevitable failure.
Watching Jason Bay get game-winning hits for the Bosox was a little like watching the end of Star Wars when Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader for the first time.
3) They need six states to have a fan base.
In the beginning, they were known as the Boston Patriots. The problem was they always finished a distant fourth in the fans’ eyes to the Celtics, Bruins, and Sox. So in order to beef up their fan pool, they decided to represent all of New England. Who’s to say Vermont or Rhode Island even want to root for the Pats? Kind of presumptuous, isn’t it?
It’s all good, though. The Patriots can have the six New England states; the Steelers will have to settle for being the favorite team of the other 44 (and District of Columbia).
2) Coach Bill Belichick is still a douchebag.
With his team up 41-20 against the Dolphins last week, Spycam Bill had his first team offense out there throwing long passes and trying to score instead of doing the sportsmanlike thing and taking a knee. Maybe he confused the NFL with the BCS and thought he needed to pile it on in order to be invited to the post-season. This was neither the first time, nor will it be the last, Belichick has run up a score showing the lack of character and class which has epitomized his reign of terror.
By the way, Rashard Mendenhall looks way better in a hoodie.
1) ‘Nuff Said
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Topics: Belichick, Bill Belicheat, Bill Cowher, Brady Is A Douche, Bruins, Celtics, Champion Sportswear, Chicago, Cowher, Cubs, Jason Bay, Jbay, Kordell Stewart, Kramer, Man Bag, Man Purse, Mendenhall, New England, Patriots, Pirates, Rashad Mendenhall, Red Sox, Red Sox Nation, Seinfeld, Spycam, Spygate, Tom Brady