Arizona Has Valleys But No Peaks

During the San Diego Chargers’ playoff victory a few weeks back, ABC cut to a shot of their cheerleaders at every opportunity.  Good move, ABC.  When the Dallas Cowboys play, FOX makes sure to get their overrated yet still fetching Cowgirls on camera whenever a player so much as downs a punt.  The Philadelphia Eagle‘s home for wayward strippers and Tennessee‘s obviously silicone enhanced squads also enjoy plenty of air time whenever their teams play.

That’s why I have a question. The Arizona Cardinals have hosted not one but two home playoff games this year. This means their cheerleaders had two entire games to be featured on television. Yet, I cannot recall a single shot of these ladies during either game. How can this be?

Unlike Indianapolis or New England, I have to assume some decent-looking girls can be found wandering the desert. After all, any city with a mix of ethnicities usually produces some fine looking women. Look at Pittsburgh girls. The Polish/Italian/German heritage is usually good for buxom figures and junk in the trunk.

Anyway, in my quest to solve the Cardinal Cheerleaders Conundrum, I bravely decided to visit the team website and look through dozens of dozens of cheerleader photos.  What I don’t do for you guys.

Anyway, after scrolling through the first folder, I think I figured out what their, um, shortcoming was.  Take a look:

See the problem?  No?  Well, here’s a couple more of Arizona’s finest.  See if you can spot it now:

No?  Okay, one more set from this past December.  I think it’s pretty obvious where the Cardinals Cheerleaders don’t STACK up to other squads.

Evidently, the push-up bra hasn’t reached Phoenix yet.  I’m pretty sure Kleenex has, though, so there’s really no excuse for their appearance.  I understand they have to jump, dance, and bounce around to get the apathetic Cardinal fans interested in the game but they need to put a little more jiggle in their milkshake.

Of course, it also doesn’t help their cause to have former Saturday Night Live cast member Cheri Oteri on the squad.  She’s a funny comedienne and was great in the cheerleader skits with Will Farrell but she doesn’t belong out on the field.

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Tags: 2008 Nfl Playoffs 2008 Super Bowl 2009 Super Bowl Charger Girls Cheri Oteri Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Hot Cheerleaders Iggles Nfl Playoffs Philadelphia Eagles Pittsburgh Steelers Push Up Bra San Diego Chargers Saturday Night Live Steeler Nation Super Bowl 2008 Super Bowl Cheerleaders Super Bowl XLIII Tennessee Titans Will Farrell

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