Screw You, Cowher

Dear Bill Cowher:

Well, you went ahead and did it. I didn’t think you actually would but you did.

At last night’s Penguins-Hurricanes game, you stood there in your bright red shirt and flashed those pearly white Chiclets while proudly going about your organ grinder monkey routine. Good for you, Bill. Way to fire up that crowd of 25,000 bandwagon jumpers.

I could almost live with this bit of mutiny against the ‘Burgh. Almost.  I mean, you did bring your usual Coach Cowher Touch of losing every Championship Game at home to your new favorite team as the Pens obliterated the sadly overmatched Hurricanes to earn another trip to the Stanley Cup finals.  But when MILFtastic Chris Simpson gave you a chance to explain your actions, that was one more insult than I could bear.

So you talked to Mario Lemeiux before the game, huh? I’m sure Mario was thinking what we’ve all been thinking, “Myself and my franchise has done nothing but support this clown and his team for 15 years. And he can’t stay neutral for one playoff series?  Whatta dick.

Newsflash, Bill:  you were born and raised in Pittsburgh.  Nobody would’ve asked you to crank their stupid little siren if it weren’t for the fact you coached in this city. How about trying to remember that on your way home to that multi-million dollar mansion in the middle of nowhere (which I guess is redundant when talking about Raleigh)?

So, you’re from North Carolina now? Really?  Perhaps you weren’t aware of this, Bill, but that sea of Black and Gold you saw whenever your Pittsburgh Steelers played on the road? They didn’t travel there, the live there. You see, Pittsburghers may leave their city but they never leave their loyalties.  That’s what separates the greatest sports city in the United States from everywhere else.  I wonder what happened to you.

The final insult was your answer to whether you’d support the Pens in the finals. “I’m an Eastern Conference guy.” Wow, could you be any more apathetic? This was your home most of your adult life and that’s all the enthusiasm you can muster for your hometown team? Next time just keep your pathetic support to yourself. We don’t need it.

In summation, Bill, you’re nothing to me now. You’re not a brother, you’re not a friend. I don’t want to know you or what you do. I don’t want to see you at the hotels, I don’t want you near my house. When you return to Crafton to see your mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won’t be anywhere near there.  You’re dead to me.  Understand?


Steeler Nation

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  • Robyn

    AMEN! what a douchetastic move. stay in NC Billy. enjoy coaching the panthers all the way to an NFC title loss year after year.

  • Tricia

    Fantastic letter! Put a stamp on the envelope and mail it to that traitor!

  • Matthew

    so nice to have tomlin now. i live outside of cleveland and they wanted cowher. tomiln will win at least 3 mark that down. let him stay in nc and look like an idiot on cbs.

  • Chris

    Actually, Matthew, I believe Robyn hit on a very good point. It didn’t dawn on me but it makes perfect sense that this Carolina Fever which Cowher is experiencing might have something to do with his angling for the Panthers job. Let’s see how much support he gets after a years of near-misses and playoff failures.

    Thanks for the support ladies (and Matt). It’s nice to know I’m not the only person infuriated by Cowher’s betrayal.

  • Todd

    Yeah, it is a little strange. I could care less about hockey (living in CA), but I would just assume that someone who coached our Steelers for so long would be a penguins fan if they enjoyed hockey so much.

    I could also understand his love for another team if he had a son who was a star on the team. I guess I just don’t know what to make of it.

  • chris

    Todd, it runs deeper than Cowher simply being an ex-coach. He was born and raised here in Pittsburgh. In fact, he went to high school with two of my uncles. He has always claimed to be (and we’ve always thought of him as) one of us.

    And one thing about Pittsburghers, no matter where we move throughout the country, we stay loyal to our city.

    As for why he did it, I refer you to Robyn’s comment above. I believe he’s trying to establish himself as a Carolina Celebrity in order to position himself for a shot at the Panthers job somewhere down the line. I hope he fails miserably.

  • Todd

    If that’s the reason, it’s kinda’ pathetic. You’re right about the loyalty, though. It took only 1 year of me living in Pittsburgh (Irwin, actually) to become and stay a Steelers fan starting at age 7.

    I just don’t want the guy to do any more commentary. Maybe his earlier Browns allegiances are coming back to get us…I always suspected a spy after all the lost AFC Championship games, but then he went and accidentally won the Super Bowl! Where’s Neil O’Donnell when you need him?