NBC Tows Away The Bus

Pittsburgh Steelers all-time great Jerome Bettis has been ousted from his deeply indented seat on NBC’s Football Night In America.

Because no NFL pregame show can possibly survive without at least a half-dozen talking heads spewing wildly inaccurate predictions, he will be replaced by part-time New England Patriot and full-time thug Rodney Harrison.

Guess Ray Lewis knows which network to call when he finally retires. If they like a dirty cheapshot artist like Harrison, they’ll love Ray Ray.  I wonder if Rodney has HGH on hand in case he suffers a case of laryngitis.

Also joining the team will be former Colts head coach Tony Dungy. Good move, NBC. The warming glow from his aura will no doubt be transferred via the screen to everybody watching at home and lead to the sick being healed, the downtrodden being uplifted, and NBC catapulting past ABC and FOX into second place. The only question I have is will NBC ditch their Rainbow Peacock in order to make Dungy feel more comfortable in a room full of men?

As for our beloved Bus, I can’t really say I’m surprised by his dismissal. His nice guy demeanor and happy go lucky personality didn’t translate to NFL studio analysis where African American ex-athletes are expected to be trash talking clowns. On the bright side, Bus is now free to pursue other endeavors, such as speaking engagements or acting gigs.

Don’t tell me you didn’t see his television debut on NBC’s “Chuck.” He was the second best thing on the show (behind the ass-kicking blonde running around in her Swiss Miss costume). On the list of NFLers-turned-actors I’d rank him slightly behind Terry Bradshaw but far far far ahead of Howie “Manstep” Long.

Also, the Bus can now spend some of his extra free time rooting for his favorite hockey team. Take note, Benedict Cowher.

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  • Todd

    Even though I do love the Bus, and always will, I have to admit that I don’t believe he really had very many interesting insights on the show. I know, how many talking heads do? I just know that I’d much rather listen to Bob Costas than Bettis when it comes to NFL commentary. I found that most everything that he said, like Howie Long, seemed to really just point out the obvious. He was pleasant to have on the show, but boring. Sorry, Bus.

  • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

    I pretty much agree with that, Todd. Although I think it is a little sad that a pleasant nice guy personality like Bus doesn’t fit on an NFL pregame show.

    They’d rather have trash-talking idiots like Shannon Sharpe, Keyshawn Johnson, or (Bettis’s replacement) Rodney Harrison. They ever make good points either but because they say obnoxious over-the-top crazy things, the networks love having them on their shows.

    I mean, seriously, how is it fair that MATT FREAKIN’ MILLEN is a studio analyst and Jerome Bettis isn’t??

  • Todd

    Yeah, I have no idea why Shannon Sharpe is on TV. I can’t understand a thing that guy says. At least Bettis was well-spoken. Cris Collinsworth I can barely stand, as he comes off extemely arrogant and smug…although I do appreciate a lot of his insights.

    Tiki Barber…I thought he’s be better. Very smooth, but just no energy or passion. Haven’t experienced any Matt Millen yet. :/

  • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

    Tiki thinks he’s above football. If you ever watch the Matt Lauer Morning Show, he’s on there doing “human interest” pieces sometimes. He wants to be a “real” broadcaster so I think he phones it in.

    I think Collingsworth is one of the more insightful analysts, although I agree he comes across like a d-bag. Jaws on MNF and (it pains me to say it) Billick are probably the best. I can’t stand Simms or Aikman. You can tell they just repeat what is fed into their headsets by producers. What irks me the most is when they wing it and are clearly wrong but refuse to admit it even when we see a replay!!