NBC Tows Away The Bus

Pittsburgh Steelers all-time great Jerome Bettis has been ousted from his deeply indented seat on NBC’s Football Night In America.

Because no NFL pregame show can possibly survive without at least a half-dozen talking heads spewing wildly inaccurate predictions, he will be replaced by part-time New England Patriot and full-time thug Rodney Harrison.

Guess Ray Lewis knows which network to call when he finally retires. If they like a dirty cheapshot artist like Harrison, they’ll love Ray Ray.  I wonder if Rodney has HGH on hand in case he suffers a case of laryngitis.

Also joining the team will be former Colts head coach Tony Dungy. Good move, NBC. The warming glow from his aura will no doubt be transferred via the screen to everybody watching at home and lead to the sick being healed, the downtrodden being uplifted, and NBC catapulting past ABC and FOX into second place. The only question I have is will NBC ditch their Rainbow Peacock in order to make Dungy feel more comfortable in a room full of men?

As for our beloved Bus, I can’t really say I’m surprised by his dismissal. His nice guy demeanor and happy go lucky personality didn’t translate to NFL studio analysis where African American ex-athletes are expected to be trash talking clowns. On the bright side, Bus is now free to pursue other endeavors, such as speaking engagements or acting gigs.

Don’t tell me you didn’t see his television debut on NBC’s “Chuck.” He was the second best thing on the show (behind the ass-kicking blonde running around in her Swiss Miss costume). On the list of NFLers-turned-actors I’d rank him slightly behind Terry Bradshaw but far far far ahead of Howie “Manstep” Long.

Also, the Bus can now spend some of his extra free time rooting for his favorite hockey team. Take note, Benedict Cowher.