Defiant Roethlisberger Answers Assault Charge

Ben Roethlisberger channeled his inner Bill Clinton on Thursday afternoon as he addressed the sexual assault charges filed against him earlier this week. Let’s hope the final outcome for the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback is a little more positive than it was for our former president.

A weary and disheveled looking Roethlisberger emphatically denied any wrongdoing in this case. If I were accused of rape, I’m sure I’d have a few sleepless nights but Ben looked like he had just rolled out of bed and splashed water on his face moments before taking the podium.  I have faith in his ability to put his personal life aside and not let it affect his play although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about him looking like a kid who was just told there is no Santa Claus.

Most distressing had to be his soft and pudgy appearance. I know when I’m depressed I tend to stuff myself full of Cool Ranch Doritos and Hot Pockets, which is fine for your humble blogger, but not so good for an elite NFL quarterback. Head coach Mike Tomlin, who stood at Ben’s side during the press conference, has to be wondering with training camp a week away, who’ll be able to complete their wind sprints first, Ben or Casey Hampton?