Previewing Dem Stillers vs. Da Bears

Cutlersexy

I began this week by posting a Playboy Playmate wearing Steeler-inspired bodypaint. Since this site has a number of female readers, I feel it’s only fair to finish the week with something for them. Therefore, enjoy these GQ style photos of Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.

Da Bears, of course, are this week’s opponent of your Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers. In order to better know our enemy, I reached out to Mike at Bear Goggles On to answer some questions about the modern day Monsters of the Midway.

When the Bears acquired Captain Crybaby Pouty McPouterson Droopy McGee Jay Cutler from Denver, I’m sure you were excited.  How you feelin’ after watching him toss 4 picks in the Bears loss on Sunday night?

Of course it was frustrating to see the centerpiece of the Bears’ offseason fall on his face in the season opener, but we’ve suffered with the likes of Rex Grossman and the clown car of quarterbacks for over 20 years. Jay is going to be fine if he can come to terms with the weapons (or lack thereof) that he has and tries not to fix 20+ years of quarterbacking ineptitude with each pass.

The Bears have lost Brian Urlacher to a season ending wrist
injury.  I don’t mean to rub salt in the wound but we have our own problems with Troy Polamalu.  Anyway, how’s losing him going to affect your defense?

Losing Urlacher certainly hurts, especially with the defensive scheme the Bears run. In the Cover-2 or Tampa-2 as it’s know, the middle linebacker has responsibility for the deep middle of the field in passing situations.

Urlacher’s replacement, Hunter Hillenmeyer, is a nice player, but he doesn’t have the speed to cover that area. It will be a challenge for Lovie Smith to put schemes and personnel groups together to make up for that loss.

I expect the Steelers to challenge the Bears with post routes in that deep middle, especially off play-action.

Who wins in a foot race, Devin Hester or a puma?  Do any of your
other receivers have a chance or are they Meow Mix?

I’ve got Hester by a nose. Speaking of speedy receivers, look out for rookie Johnny Knox. The kid is a burner who has shown flashes in the preseason and had a nice 68 yard catch in Week 1.

Lovie Smith has been your head coach since 2004.  The team made it all the way to Super Bowl XLI while under his leadership.  Right place/right time or is he that good?

I think Lovie is on the Hot Seat this season, injuries or not. If the Bears miss the playoffs again, it will be the third year in a row. That’s not good enough. Lovie added a little pressure to himself by adding the defensive playcalling to his game day duties, so if the defense is messed up, it’s on him. I think it’s playoffs or bust for Lovie.

Speaking of head coaches, the Chicago sports fan became famous
thanks to those old Saturday Night Live skits where they coined the phrase, “Da Bears.”  Is Mike Ditka still a legend to Chicagoans?

Ditka has become a caricature of himself, like on his bottle of Kick Ass Red. All he is around Chicago today is the Next Great American pitchman to hock anything from Salsa to cigars. It goes to show that winning a championship in Chicago is like winning the lottery or getting a lifetime pension.

Final Score?!?

My prediction for Sunday – Bears 23 –Steelers 19. Why? Because I can’t face the harsh reality of an 0-2 start to the season.

REALLY?!  You think they’ll score 23 points on the Steelers defense??!?  WTF?!?

Err, sorry, got carried away with the bold-facing there.  This is Chris, NPC has reverted back to my control (and regular style type).  Well, there you have it.  A view from the eyes of the enemy.  Hopefully this Sunday, the only sight the Steelers will be seeing is a view to a kill.

Topics: 2008 Super Bowl Champions, Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears, Crybaby Cutler, Cutlerfucker, Da Bears, Devin Hester, Ditka, Hester Is Fast, Hines Ward, Jay Cutler, Lovie Smith, Mike Ditka, Pittsburgh Steelers, Steeler Nation, Steelers Blog, Urlacher Old Spice

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