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Being A Steeler Fan Could Kill You

Fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers are everywhere. Even in Dallas as the above video shows. I love how the newspaper gave the entire family Cowboys jerseys (including, ugh, pink ones) to make it look like they follow the team. The look on Jason Witten‘s face when he walks into the kid’s room is hilarious.

One of the other cool things about Steeler Nation is how we take over other team’s stadiums. This Sunday, for example, I expect there to be a sea of Black and Gold amongst smatterings of red when we play the Kansas City Chiefs. After all, the Chiefs are a truly wretched franchise mired in yet another losing season. Fans looking to travel, ex-Burghers still loyal to their hometown, and the few intelligent Missourians (an oxymoron, I know) who’ve long since given up on their franchise will likely conspire to make this a home game on the road.

I just hope those outside of the ‘Burgh are careful because being a Steelers fan could be dangerous to your health.

Making the rounds of the internet has been this story about a Pittsburgh man who was in Chicago for the game against the Bears. Afterward, he got into a bit of friendly smack talking with the Bears fans at a local bar. Supposedly, this back-and-forth eventually escalated into a rather heated exchange. I’ll take a wild guess and say alcohol was involved. However, when the locals decided to buy the Yinzer a beer to put the issue to bed, things quickly went from bad to worse.

See, these upstanding citizens decided to slip something into his drink. Roofies most likely.  I wonder how many of these men were in a fraternity at Penn State.  Anyway, this incident tells us two things about Chicago. One, their fans are a bunch of scumbags. And two, if you’re a single woman in the Windy City, you should probably join Match.com.

Anyway, our ‘Burgh guy had a bad reaction to this spiked drink. He passed out and was rushed to the hospital. While there, his heart stopped FOUR TIMES. He was eventually stabilized but has been left blind and suffering brain damage. Mind you, this all was a result of a football game the Bears WON.

So please, Steeler Nation, continue to invade enemy territory. Continue to take over opposing stadiums. Continue to wave your Terrible Towels wherever you may go. Just be careful. The world’s a big ugly scary place full of bitter fans of shitty football teams. And that’s just Cleveland.

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