Rock n' Bowl > Super Bowl

Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force pretty much sums up my feelings on the participants in this weekend’s big game.

Without the customary playoff berth for the Pittsburgh Steelers, I had no dog in this year’s post season fight.   Still, there were certain outcomes which held my interest.  With Dallas or the Ratbirds, I could root for a humiliating defeat.   With the Jets or Pittsburgh West Arizona, I had a team I could grudgingly support.   If you asked me to pick the worst possible Super Bowl match up, I would’ve been hard pressed to come up with a more wretched combination than the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints.

The Colts are a bland, one-dimensional team led by one of the most cowardly head coaches in history.   It’s bad enough to watch a team piss away a chance at all-time greatness by tanking their last two games in the name of “rest” but did anybody check out the AFC Championship game?   Fourth and goal from the one foot line and they kick a field goal.   Grow some balls, Indy.   Furthermore, does anybody outside the Indianapolis area even give two sacks of monkey poop about them?   Despite being the winningest team of the 00′s, I bet you’ve never once heard the term “Colts Nation.”   You know why?   People don’t care about the Colts.   There are PEYTON MANNING fans but the team itself is nothing more than a one man show.

As for the Saints, when a long suffering fan base is finally rewarded for their decades of misery with a brief taste of playoff glory, I’m usually happy for the underdog.  However, the media has successfully ruined all that by repeatedly trotting out the tired THE SAINTS ARE MORE THAN A FOOTBALL TEAM!  THEY’RE A BEACON OF HOPE FOR THE ENTIRE CITY! crap.  First of all, if the Saints were so beloved by the people of that city then explain the following banner:

The Saints entered the NFL in 1967.   I repeat, 1967.  If the team is such a dear and precious local resource for the people of New Orleans, then why did it take them FORTY FREAKIN’ YEARS to sell out their season tickets?  Here in Pittsburgh the waiting list to purchase season tickets is about forty years.  How am I supposed to be happy for a city full of bandwagon jumpers?   And even more vomit inducing were the fawning announcers when owner Tom Benson accepted his NFC Championship trophy.   LOOK AT WHAT THIS GREAT MAN BROUGHT TO THE BIG EASY!   Except four years ago when Hurricane Katrina devastated the city and turned the Superdome into a giant toilet bowl, Benson was running all over San Antonio trying to work out a deal to move the team there permanently.   So you have a fair weather fanbase, a dick owner, and Reggie Bush dating that girl with the big ass.   Why root for them?

Oh, there is one other thing.   For those undergoing Steeler withdrawal, you will have a chance to see a few of your heroes on Super Bowl Sunday.   Hines Ward and LaMarr Woodley will be taking part in the Chris Paul PBA Celebrity Bowling Invitational airing at 2:00 (ET) on ESPN.   You can catch a nifty preview video here. It looks like fun and, hey, who doesn’t want to see if Mister Woodley can knock pins like he knocks heads.   At the very least, it should give you enough of a Black and Gold fix to get you through three hours of Cowardly vs. Unworthy later that evening.

Please let the commercials be good.   That’s all I have to look forward to.

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  • “O”

    Chris that was amazing! Having huge withdrawls. Been blogging on other sites and the Vikings fans are still blaming the refs for their loss against the Aints. But you said it best worst matchup possible. NFC championship game proved that the NFC is weaker then the AFC. Worst game of the year. The aints can’t be that good if they barely win against a team who turned the ball over 5 times. Like you said I hope the commercials are really good this year.

  • JLaw

    About damn time Dick got in the hall. The man has truelly spent a lifetime in some facet of the NFL and it’s taken this long. Glad someone finally pulled their head from their ass and gave him the nod.
    I feel better now.
    This and the following posts were/are pretty good. Kinda surprised more came out for the Pens parade and party then the Steelers but that’s still cool and a huge turnout.
    I’m ready for 2010 cause I’ve been promised that I get to go to Heinz and attend a game! Just hope she gets the tickets in time.

  • chris

    Well, the Steelers parade was in February in about 20 degree weather. The Pens parade was in June and it was like 70. So you can do the math as to why one parade had a few more people than the other.

    I hope you get to Heinz this year. I’ve only been there for Pitt games and a couple preseason games but it’s a really nice stadium. I suggest you take the Clipper over because it drops you off right in front and it saves you a ton of hassle on parking.

  • JLaw

    Thanks for the tip. I’ll let you know if she holds true to her promise this year. Would love the ratbird game but I’m sure that one sells out faster than the rest. It’ll be a great time either way.

  • “O”

    JLaw making a jelous man over here on the west coast. I would love to make it to a game but will have to live through you on this one. Who knows though maybe I will be able to swing that next year as well. Good luck hope she comes through for you!

  • “O”

    jealous sorry