Big Ben Wants To Be Your Role Model

I think I threw up in my mouth listening to that.

I could write ten pages dissecting all the lies, phoniness, and hypocrisy contained in the 90 second statement disgraced Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger read hours after learning he had gotten away with rape would not face sexual assault charges.  Heck, I could write just two on that ridiculous mullet alone.  But since you’re likely sick of hearing about him and I’m sick of writing about him, I’ll limit myself to a few brief statements.

Thanking DA Fred Bright for not pressing charges only shows he didn’t actually watch the news conference.  Bright repeatedly called the poor girl he viciously attacked “the victim” and stressed that the case wasn’t being brought only because they didn’t have enough irrefutable evidence.  It was hardly a ringing endorsement of his innocence.  Anybody could plainly see Bright was not happy about cutting the big goof loose.  In fact, the DA even told Pig Ben to “grow up.”

Of course he’s happy to put it behind him.  I wonder how the young lady who he nearly raped is doing?  I wonder if she’s been able “to put it behind her.”  Hopefully he did pay her off because she deserves something for what he did to her and she for damn sure didn’t get any justice.

Ben wants to be the leader that the Steelers deserve…  How about, I dunno, setting an example by not getting accused of rape every off-season?  Is that too much to ask?  And while we’re looking at qualities befitting a leader, how about not whining and crying about every minor boo boo you get during the season?

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at his desire to be “a valuable member of the community and role model for kids.”   If you’re a parent and you allow your kid to wear a #7 jersey, you should be reported to Child Services immediately.  Either that or make sure you buy little Bobby a baby doll so you can show him the difference between a good touch and a bad touch.   Evidently Ben’s parents failed to teach him this valuable lesson when he was a child.

And, finally, he wants to earn our trust?  Seriously?  Let me ask a couple questions.  Would any of my female readers out there feel comfortable hanging out with him in a dark and secluded part of a night club?   Would any of you with daughters feel comfortable letting them hang out with him?   I personally wouldn’t wish a bruised and bleeding vagina on any of the women in my life but maybe that’s just me.

In summation, shut up Ben.  I don’t care what you have to say.  Just go out there and throw touchdowns because that’s all you’re good for.  We all know what kind of person you are now.   And no prepared statement full of ridiculous B.S. is going to make us forget what you have done.

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