Terry Bradshaw, the greatest quarterback in Pittsburgh Steelers history, had some wise words of advice for their current signal-caller. Yes, I used the words “Bradshaw” and “wise” in the same sentence. If you’ve ever been lucky enough to hear Terry speak in public, he’s actually a pretty smart guy. He just plays up the aw-shucks hick aspect of his personality for television. And the four time Super Bowl champion has concluded the same thing I’ve been telling my loyal readers since I started this blog three years ago.
Ben Roethlisberger is a dick.
Terry shouldn’t feel like he’s being singled out. Bill Cowher also told Ben not to ride his motorcycle. Of course, Ben didn’t get along with Cowher, either. And, yes, Bradshaw made his share of mistakes when he was here. But nothing ever brought the Steelers anywhere near the level of disgrace that Pig Ben’s recent actions have.
How does Ben sleep at night?
Well, he had to get up early yesterday for his meeting with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. A freshly-shaved and de-mulleted Roethlisberger arrived bright and early for his meeting with Herr Roger. The meeting lasted several hours and Ben’s only comment upon exiting was that the meeting was “very productive.” I can only hope Goodell channeled Dean Wormer and told him “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
Meanwhile, for those who didn’t heed my words a couple days ago when I said anybody who thinks the Milledgeville incident will be the last is sorely mistaken, a lawyer went on a radio talk show in Boston and revealed that he had been asked to look into a similar incident which occurred six months ago in Las Vegas. While the lawyer quickly revised his comments to clarify he wasn’t accusing Ben of rape, he did say the incident involved a woman being invited to party with the drunken imbecile in a VIP area of a night club where she was subjected to “non-consensual sexual touching” by Mr. Rapistberger. So either Ben has some serious self-control issues or he has absolutely no idea how to hit on a woman.
In any case, the city is rapidly turning against their disgusting quarterback. Even his strongest supporters within the organization are cracking as current Steelers President Art Rooney II was described as “furious” after hearing the details of the Georgia incident. Most tragically, our friends over at PLB Sports, maker of City of Champions Cereal, have invoked their morality clause in deciding to discontinue their line of Big Ben Beef Jerky.
When you’ve lost your beef jerky, you’ve truly lost it all.
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