The above video contains language that is NSFW. Which stands for Not Safe For Work. This differs from Ben Roethlisberger, who is merely Not Safe For Women.
Marshall Mathers aka Slim Shady aka Eminem has gifted us all with his latest freestyle masterpiece. Actually, I don’t mind Marshall. Once you get past the whole wigger gimmick, he’s a pretty interesting artist. I just liked him better when he wasn’t trying to be an actor or doing lame PR stunts for MTV. Whatever happened to his hobby of planning to kill his ex-wife?
Anyway, if you decide to click on that video, after the first 28 cuss words (about a minute in), you’ll hear a certain disgraced Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback name-dropped. Oh how proud I am of the Black and Gold. I know I’ve said this a before but it’s worth repeating. If you had told me three years ago when I started this blog that my team would be the laughingstocks of the NFL with owners who value winning over class and a quarterback who gets made fun of by freakin’ EMINEM, I would’ve asked what padded room you escaped from.
There is a point to this besides informing you of the latest reason to be embarrassed to be a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers. The unofficial preseason begins tomorrow with the team’s first full-scale minicamp. All the rookies will be there along with most of the veterans. Know who won’t be there?
The Real Big Shady won’t show up, won’t show up.
I think that will be my new nickname for Ben. I have been using Pig Ben and, while fitting, it isn’t very creative. At least not as clever as Mister Woodley or Will.i.am Gay. Plus, Ben is clearly big and most certainly shady, so it fits quite well.
Back on topic, Ben won’t be there because as condition of his punishment, he cannot attend any team activities until he undergoes NFL mandated head shrinking behavioral counseling. Now, I just assumed this was a phony hoop they were making him jump through to make it look like they are upset with his eight month rape spree. But, as this excellent article from Pro Football Talk points out, it might not be such a done deal.
As the article states, what if these mental health professionals actually take their job seriously? Between repeatedly getting piledriven by 250 pound linebackers not to mention that ill-fated motorcycle ride back in 2006, Ben’s brain is probably mush. And it’s not like the guy was a deep thinker to begin with. What if he’s gone full retard?
Brain injuries are a serious matter. I’ve stated before that I’m a fan of pro wrasslin’. Even those of you who don’t follow it probably heard of the wrestler who went nuts, murdering his wife and young son. Well, what you probably never heard was that it was later concluded that he was suffering from severe brain damage as a result of a career based on getting smacked on the head by steel folding chairs.
A little closer to home, I’m sure many longtime Steeler fans remember our great center Mike Webster. What some of you may not know is Mike passed at a young age after battling amnesia, dementia, and depression during his retirement years. He lost his family due to his behavioral changes and was living out of his truck when the end came. It’s been pretty well established that these issues likely came about due to a 15 year career as an undersized center repeatedly getting smacked in the head by much larger defensive lineman.
So while we’ve taken if for granted that Ben is going to show up, do what they ask, and then get their stamp of approval so he can get back on the field, what if these guys do their job? What if they find he’s not a deranged sexual predator but rather a brain-damaged simpleton? Look how radioactive Brian Westbrook is due to his concussion issues. This would be something a thousand times worse.
I truly hope for the good of the league, the health of its players, and particularly the quality of life for one Benjamin J. Roethlisberger, they make a sincere effort.
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