Troy Polamalu’s Million Dollar Hair
By chris
Troy Polamalu is the best defensive player in the NFL. Some might dispute that but they would be wrong. In 2008, James Harrison was Defensive Player of the Year. Last season, he hardly missed a snap. Yet that same defense went from being one of the all-time greats to being fairly terrible primarily because one unit had Troy and the other did not.
When you’re more important than the DPOY, you have to be the best.
The sight of those flowing locks waving as he hones in on the ball carrier like a heat seeking missile is quickly becoming an iconic image. A sight I’m sure every member of Steeler Nation hopes to see in sixteen games this season. Damn you, Madden, and your vile curse.
In what is one of the most unusual publicity stunts in recent memory, Head & Shoulders has taken out a one million dollar insurance policy on Troy’s hair. Now, I know some might think, “What the hell?” It actually makes sense if you crunch the numbers. His shampoo contract probably pays in the high six figures. Other commercial deals probably net him a few bucks more. Even though he’s a great player, his unique look is a major part of his marketing appeal.
In other words, chicks dig the hair.
Besides, insurance policies on body parts aren’t uncommon. College athletes insure their arms or legs in case some catastrophic injury costs them a professional career. Celebrities and models take them out, too. Singers insure their voices. Professional wrestlers insure their bodies. JLO has even insured her ass for $27 million. Yes, somebody has a twenty-seven million dollar rump. I’d be afraid to sit down. And why one insures their behind, I’m not sure. Nobody has ever had their butt removed due to complications from bootyliciousness, have they?
Then again, I’m not sure how Troy’s insurance policy works either. Is there a time limit? Does he have to try a course of rogaine before any benefits are paid out? Is he covered against male pattern baldness?
If so, Terry Bradshaw should’ve taken out a similar policy years ago. He would’ve made a mint.