T.O. Knows Nothing About Hockey, Mario Lemieux Does

Ah, T.O, what would we do without your predictable buffoonery?  Clearly he hasn’t seen too many hockey games.  Yes, hockey players get into fights and are back on the ice five minutes later.  Except they are manly enough to square off face-to-face before any punches are thrown.  They don’t sucker-punch the other guy when he’s not looking.  Well, Sean Avery does but he’s an even a bigger bitch than Richard Seymour.

Speaking of which, Mario Lemieux recently paid Ben Roethlisberger the ultimate compliment by saying his rearranged schnozz made him “look like a hockey player.”  I kid Big Ben about being a Drama Queen but I would never call him soft.  Just because he plays up his injuries to sound more heroic doesn’t mean they don’t exist.  Besides, anybody who has his nose knocked sideways like a defective Mr. Potatohead and doesn’t miss a snap is pretty tough in my book.

Soft is a word best used to describe a headcase prima donna wide receiver who hasn’t thrown a block or made a catch in traffic his entire career.

Ben’s nose job has inspired one of the best product tie-ins in recent memory.   I haven’t done a “Pittsburgh Steelers Holiday Gift Guide” in a couple years but if I were to bring it back, this t-shirt would definitely be on it. It’s pretty much the ultimate gift for the female Steeler fan in your life.  Seriously, any guy with a wife or girlfriend cool enough to wear one of these should consider himself lucky for finding a keeper.

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