Jets = Ravens Lite (But Just As Dirty)


Who said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks?

When Rex Ryan was named head coach of the New York Jets back in 2009, he immediately began the job of changing the culture of the organization.  His grand innovation?   Plaster the slogan “Play Like A Jet” in the locker room and all over the team’s training facilities.  What does that mean exactly?

Going by recent results, it means run your big fat mouth about how great you are and then barely squeak by bad teams while getting your ass handed to you by good ones.

“Play Like A Jet” also seems to mean “Play like a Raven.”   In this area, Rex has succeeded tremendously.  The Jets have perfected the dirty cheap-shot filled brand of football his gang of lawless thugs over in Baltimore have raised to an art form.  In fact, the Jets have done their role models one better by getting assistant coaches involved in the illegal shenanigans.

For those who have not heard, Sal Alosi, the Jets’ strength and conditioning coach, purposely tripped a Miami Dolphins gunner who was run out of bounds during a kick return.  The player did a face plant although wasn’t seriously injured.  Alosi was fined $25,000 and suspended without pay for the rest of the season.  However, if you examine the tape or a photo of the incident, something immediately pops out.

There was a second tripper on the grass knoll!

Actually, there were five trippers.  Look at those guys!  I haven’t seen such perfect formation since the Spartans repelled the Persians in “300.” The poor Dolphin was caught in a well-orchestrated crossfire.  Back and to the right!  Back and to the right!

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?   Well, according to ESPN, this wall of bystanders was no accident.  It’s actually a carefully disguised tactic used to disrupt a team’s kick coverage.  Naturally, Jets officials have denied using what has been described as an “unsavory technique.”

What?!?  The coach of the Jets, the former defensive coordinator for the Ravens, being involved in something unsavory?  I’M SHOCKED!  Never would I imagine the man who unleashed mayhem and thuggery in Baltimore would bring those same tactics to New York.  SHOCKED I TELL YA!

Keyaron Fox and Arnaz Battle better keep their heads on a swivel if they run along the sideline this weekend.

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  • Paul

    Thuggery from Baltimore… what a douche..

  • Jason

    How is one small time assistant for the Jets actions the Ravens fault…You are reaching at straws. The ravens play hard not cheap. You want cheap look at Hines Ward.

    • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

      Not cheap? You mean like when Ngata punched Ben in the face? Or when that LB came in and hit Heath Miller helmet-to-helmet 10 minutes after the play was over?

      Yeah, the Ravens are so clean and professional. That’s why your group of thugs and criminals were fined 75k for all their goon tactics a couple weeks back.

  • PB

    Yeah – you’re all Jet alright. All mouth when it goes right – cryin’ when it doesn’t.

    This is your wet diaper – not Baltimore’s.

  • Todd

    Hey, Chris…if ya’ can’t win with skill, then ya’ might as well cheat, right? I think it’s hilarious that he thought he was going to get away with it. Serves him right to get suspended. Just plain poor sportsmanship.

    Looks like the Jets may be who we thought they were…paper tigers. We’ll see how well they hold up against the Steelers. I wonder what schemes LeBeau is cooking up to confuse Sanchez. We should get a couple picks easily with how Polamalu is playing lately.

  • randy

    what an unprofessional excuse for an article. rex ryan may have tried to steal the play like a raven saying and bring it over to ny.. but check out how many steelers players have been arrested compared to ravens over the years and get back to me okay?

    • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

      Yes, James Harrison was arrested for shoving his wife to the ground. That’s so much worse than stabbing a guy to death like your thug of a linebacker.

      Or Santonio Holmes was arrested for pot. That’s so much worse than killing a guy by running over him in a drunken stupor like your wide reciever.

      Your team is full of murderers and goons. Which is pretty fitting for a cesspool of a town known around the nation as “Murder City, USA.”

      • EC

        Chris-
        Lewis didn’t kill anyone and you know it. He didn’t turn in his bro’s.

        As far the Ravens vs the Steelers, neither were dirty hits and you know that also. Be objective for a minute.
        The Ravens got rid of Rex Ryan aholes, like McAllsister and Scott.

      • John S

        Ummm, you seem to be ignoring the elephant in the room?

        You know, the repeat rapist you have for quarterback?

    • Charley

      Ben Roethlisberger should be in jail for sexual assault, not just suspended for 4 games. Name a Raven who has been arrested in the last 5 years! Jamal Lewis was the only one. Ray Lewis never stabbed anyone, you morons. It was determined that he was in the Limo at the time a fight broke out, with a large number of people around. THAT is why he was never convicted. Donte Stallworth was not with the Ravens at the time he was convicted on DWI. Try using facts.

      • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

        Um, Ray Lewis pleaded GUILTY to covering up a murder. I repeat, GUILTY. And why would he cover it up? Oh right, cause he stabbed a guy to death and then had his buddy take the fall for it.

        Ben has never been tried, arrested, or CHARGED with jack. So try to get your facts straight, mouthbreathers.

        The Ravens are a gang of criminals and murderers. Sorry, those are the facts. You know, facts which ARE PROVEN in court, not made up by you fools. Not that I expect anybody from the sub-literate city of Baltimore to know them. You morons are dumb enough to call Stabby McStabberson “God’s Linebacker.”

        • Bill

          To add to that Chris. Anyone who has ever watched an episode of Law and Order knows that what happens is the prosecutor knows someone (Lewis) did offense A but can’t quite prove it. Someone (Lewis) knows they did offense A but aren’t quite sure they can beat it. So a compromise ensues; i.e. plead guilty to something else that can be proved and/or not beaten by the defense.
          Now with Ben when a prosecutor doesn’t have a choice about dropping or reducing charges because the man was never charged that says at worst ‘they don’t know what happened’ and at best what ever happened might have been less than moral but not illegal.

  • CD

    You must be kidding with the Ravens as premiere cheap shot artists! I believe the Steelers have the #1, recognized as such by the commish’s office, dirty player in a LB spot. Poor kids can’t go to college because he lost 125,000 bucks due to his ‘indiscretions’. Gimmie a break

  • Jason

    Stupid Chris: Keep putting down Baltimore. It only shows how out of touch the people of Pittsburgh are. You know why there are so many Steelers fans all over the country? It’s because you lost so much industry in your *Amazing city over the last few decades that people have to move away in order to keep food on their tables.

    Here is an exact quote from the Steelers Wikipedia page: “The team gained a large fan base nationally based on its success in the 1970s, but many consider the collapse of the city’s steel industry at the end of the ’70s dynasty into the 1980s (and the resulting diaspora) to be a large catalyst for the size of the fan base in other cities.”

    You city cant support its citizens. Mine can. Charm City Baby!

    • Bill

      Jason if you really want to base things on cities you should be careful. Baltimore is currently ranked the 4th highest murder rate in the US per capita. While that is better than it was in ’07 when it was second the ‘burgh isn’t even in the top25. Like Chris said thugdom rolls down hill. Apparently from Charm City down to Ratbird ownership, to coaching to players to former coaches to the J E T S jets, jets, jets.

      Wikipedia has so many interesting little tidbits, don’t it.

    • littleben

      Jason, you really don’t want to open up that can of worms. Baltimore has suffered an aggregate population loss in every decade since 1950. According to your beloved Wikipedia:

      “In the 1990s, the US Census reported that Baltimore ranked as one of the largest population losers alongside Detroit and Washington D.C., losing over 84,000 residents between 1990 and 2000.” And lost another 2% of its population since…because your city can support its citizens.

      Not that any of this has to do with football, but don’t forget that because Baltimore is the poster child for everything that is dysfunctional about American cities it was the setting for two of the greatest crime dramas of the past 20 years and yest still they couldn’t attract viewers. Why? Because its Baltimore and no one gives a shit.

  • zam

    First off…Baltimore is a shithole. Total shithole. Everybody knows that who has ever left the city/and or visited. Pittsburgh, on the other hand, is often held-up in urban planning classes as an example of how post-industrial cities should be designed to thrive and survive and our beloved city has done just that.

    Second, Chris – I read your “know thy enemy” blogs every week. Can I make a suggestion? Please add info on the officiating crew as well. As they are now part of the obstacle for us winning games.

    This week, we’re up against Peter Morelli. Yes, that Peter Morelli. The guy who overturned Troy’s obvious interception against the Colts in 2006 in the AFC divisional game. You know, the one that cost us the game, and handed it to the Colts? That’s who we’re up against this weekend. Him, and the Jets of course.

    • http://nicepickcowher.com chris

      Ha! I never thought of including the refs in Know Thy Enemy but, you’re right, they are as much a threat as the team across the field. That’s a pretty good idea.

      Where does one find the crews assigned each game?

      And you’re absolutely right about Pittsburgh. Leave it to the Baltimorons to try and compare their decaying urban hellhole to the Most Livable, Friendliest, unemployment HALF the national average modern city of the future that is ‘The Burgh.

      • zam

        Well, I found out about this week’s game through the Post-Gazette. I think you can email Ed Bouchette from his column…he’ll probably have the inside scoop every week. I think it’s an awesome addition to your Friday column! Keep up the good work buddy.

  • http://npc dwayne

    is everyone in pittsburg gay or what