Hines Ward Rains On NFL Parade

Gotta love Hines Ward.

Despite this statistically being his worst season since he was young player buried behind several others on the Pittsburgh Steelers depth chart, Hines says he has no plans to pull a Jerome Bettis after the Lombardi Trophy is presented.  I’ve often said on this site that I can easily see Hines becoming a congressman or Senator after his playing career is over.  He’s a man with strong moral stances and he isn’t afraid to speak up about what he believes in.  Although given the amount of mudslinging that goes on in a typical political campaign, it may be difficult for Hines to escape some of his past.

For example, a Dallas newspaper is reporting he spent Monday night at a local strip club with Ike Taylor and several linemen.  It was “Make It Rain Monday” which is when you throw a handful of bills up in the air then watch as the silicon enhanced bimbos scramble after it like fat kids attacking a broken pinata.  Er, so a nice lady friend of mine named Amethyst has told me.  I don’t blame Hines for enjoying the local entertainment considering sixty odd Gentleman’s Clubs (?) in Dallas were looking to add 10,000 strippers just for Super Bowl week. Sixty?  Looks like Big D’s economy has gone from cotton and oil to steaks and lap dances.

Does any city, even one located in such a culturally retarded place as Texas, need that many jiggle joints?  I love strippers as much as anybody and ex-Cowboys Cheerleaders need something to do after they retire but c’mon.  Why pay some chick to sit on your lap for fifteen minutes when I have it on good authority two Fuzzy Navels and a Vodka and Red Bull is all you need to convince a Texan Belle to come back to your hotel room.  So all you Penn Staters headed there for the big game, you can probably leave your roofies back at the dorm.

When Hines wasn’t dodging questions about his late night activities, he was telling reporters at Media Day he’d like to see Plaxico Burress return to the Steel City once he gets out of the clink.  Hellz No.  Granted, Plax can be an awesome weapon when he wants to play.  And he was run off the Steelers primarily because Bill Cowher couldn’t stand him.  But if they want a tall receiver to complement the speed of Sanders, Wallace, and Brown, they might as well draft Pitt’s Jon Baldwin.  They’re both spoiled pouty divas gifted with great genetics but at least Baldwin is a solid ten years younger.

Of course, the biggest story was an interview Hines gave to GQ prior to arriving in town.  I think he put it best when he simply stated, “They [The NFL] don’t give a f**k about concussions.”  No kidding.  Only the naive or massively ignorant ever thought the crackdown on hard hits was about player safety and not the Ginger Dictator’s mandate to go to an eighteen game schedule.  Hines makes a number of keen observations in this piece about the hypocrisy of the commissioner and ridiculousness of the “new rules” about hitting.  You can find the full article by clicking here. It’s well worth the read.

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