Big Ben Makes Love To His Tonic And Gin

Actually, it was a Captain and Diet Coke.

Video of Ben Roethlisberger singing karaoke at a piano bar surfaced on rumor-mongering website TMZ yesterday.  Naturally, this became the lead story on SportsCenter and every other sports talk show on the planet.  I didn’t want to dignify this story by paying it any more attention than it deserved (which is none), especially since Pittsburgh Steelers beat writer Ed Bouchette did a pretty thorough job of eviscerating it in this morning’s P-G. However, since everybody from Ben to Mike Tomlin was asked about it, I felt I had to at least mention this laugh-out-loud stupid story here.

He was singing Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.”

The only negative thing about the story to me is the part about him tipping $200 on an $800 tab.  A few bar wenches down on the South Side were probably stewing when they heard that.  Not that I have any problem with Ben stiffing bartenders or waitresses on a tip.   I don’t tip because society says I have to.  All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I’ll give them a little something extra.  But tipping automatically or leaving an enormous tip just because everybody knows you make millions a dollars of year playing football, screw that.

He was singing Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.”

I’m sorry I keep coming back to that but could he have picked a more bland non-threatening singer and song?  My parents listen to Billy Joel.  I could see if they caught him doing “Candy Shop” by Fitty.  Or “Sexyback” by Timberlake.  Maybe he should have dedicated a rendition of Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” to his friends down in Milledgeville.

I am honestly disgusted the media has tried making this into a story.  Than again, TMZ “reporters” make their living picking through garbage looking for used condoms outside Charlie Sheen’s house so I guess we should expect it from them.  I only wish reputable outlets like ESPN or the major newspapers wouldn’t give them the attention they crave.  He went to a piano bar.  Where is the video of Hines Ward making it rain at a strip club?

I could see if he was falling down drunk.  Which he wasn’t.  I could see if he missed curfew.  Which he didn’t.   The hotel keycards automatically lock the doors at one a.m. so unless he and two or three three hundred pound linemen climbed up a fire escape and through a second story window, they were all back within the allotted time.

When the Super Bowl hoopla began, I knew Ben would be the big story all week.  However, the level of media scrutiny and unfair persecution he’s suffered from ignorant fools makes me root for him all the more.  Not only do I hope he plays well on Sunday, I hope he wins the MVP.  And afterward, he should thank God, his family, his teammates, and Steeler Nation.   Then give the middle finger to all the bastards who have tried unsuccessfully to bring him down.

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  • Sean

    …he should have pulled a “Favre” and done: “Pants to the ground” – I think Mendelthall would have liked that.

    Hey you know what, Rodgers plays (actually he sucks….) the guitar…maybe they could play in the halftime show!

    • chris

      I’d rather see Ben and the 500 Pound Choir backed up by Rodgers on guitar than the Black Eyed Peas. Hopefully Fergie doesn’t pee on stage (seriously, google it). Serves her right for taping her penis down like that.

      • Sean

        LOL – did NOT know that…yeah, in that case please book the QBs or maybe the freezer from G.B. (what is it about fat guys that dance, really??)

  • Terrie Bruce

    I’m so sick of the media trying to crucify him I could puke. However, I’m not sure why a $200 tip on a $800 tab would be stiffing the servers. That’s a 25% tip.

    • Bill

      I think Chris meant that he tipped too much. Also it was so opposite how he used to not tip at all it seems like he is going overboard the other direction.

    • chris

      Sorry if I wasn’t clear on that. Nobody is saying Ben stiffed the servers with the $200 tip. I was making reference to the fact after Milledgeville, a bunch of petty stories were written about Ben stiffing waitresses/bartenders here in Pittsburgh on tips.

      • Terrie Bruce

        Thanks for the clarification. I reread it again and had totally misunderstood your statement. I hope Ben’s MVP and GO STEELERS!

  • Smoking Tire

    I hear Tomlin has added a play to the playbook for the Super Bowl. Here’s how it will work:

    Flozell and Legursky pull extra wide on a pitch to Mendenhall. Instead of blocking though, they head straight for the line of photographers and reporters on the sidelines where they trample the press corp into the turf.

    That will give them something to write about.

    • chris

      I like that play. They should call it “74 Dog Firetrap Douchebags.”

      Actually, Tire, I’ve been saving this for my game recap but I’ll say it anyway because your comment reminds me. When the Ginger Dictator presents them with the Lombardi, I hope they smile, take the trophy, then push him off the stage.

  • DeadBirds

    “When the Ginger Dictator presents them with the Lombardi, I hope they smile, take the trophy, then push him off the stage.”

    Agreed and then James Harrison slams him to the ground “Vince Young” style.

    • Bill

      With a little helmet to groin contact thown in for good measure.