Pittsburgh Steelers Fans Finally Get to Hate Bill Cohwer

The NFL coaching axe has swung early and often this year. There will be openings a plenty by seasons’ end and The Chin will be in consideration for several of them. And then , Steeler Nation, you can finally get all that pent up hate for Cowher right out there where it belongs.

Several professional football teams already have ‘HELP WANTED’ sings in the window. Jack Del Rio was fired in Jacksonville for failure to win anything of any significance. Hell, it took an entire officiating crew missing a mugging on Pittsburgh’s North Side for the Jags to get even one playoff win. The Jacksonville front office even went as far as to appoint an Assistant Head Coach in the persons of Mike Tice and Greg Williams to give Jack a hand. But Del Rio coached the Jags for better or worse into a ninth season before ownership decided they should see other people. We love you, Jack. We’re just not in love with you….
Todd Haley got shown the door in Kansas City apparently for not being able to keep his players healthy enough to win the division for the second year in a row and for being an intolerable douche bag. Greg Giraldo’s stunt double managed to take the Chiefs from the bottom of the juggernaut that is the AFC West to the top of the division in one short year. Todd pulled of a turnaround that can only be described as moderately interesting given that he was coaching in the juggernaut that is the AFC West. Haley yelled and belittled everyone in yelling and belittling distance and refused to play nice with Scott Pioli. The end came classy enough though, a personal foul by the head coach for unsportsman like conduct. The abusive relationship was done. Take your hat, your hoodie, and your Don Johnson posters; put them in your Camaro and leave. A restraining order is probably being filed in a judge’s office as we speak.
Tony Sparano went from Made Man to fuggetaboudit this week. Sparano went about things in reverse of Todd Haley. He took his team of wildcat lovin’, no quarterback havin’, overachievers to the playoffs in his first season and was never able to repeat. Apparently other teams in the NFL hired 11 year old defensive consultants to show their coordinators how to shut down a Pop Warner offense. The writing was on the wall in Miami when Ricky Williams was ready to risk increasing his supply line by a thousand miles to go play in Charm City. “Tony. You’ve gotta go see Da Boss. And, uh, be sure to stand on the plastic”.
Other coaches are bargaining with their landlords right now to see how difficult it will be to get out of their leases. Steve Spagnuolo, Pat Shurmur, Andy Reid, Norv Turner, Lovie Smith, and Tom Coughlin have all been mentioned as being out the door at seasons’ end. And we all know there could be more: Brian Billick and Jon Gruden didn’t know they were broadcast boot bound until The Turk came for their playbooks.
Bill Cowher will be offered one of these coaching jobs and this time, he’s going to accept. I feel it. Like when you just knew Mike Tomczak was going to toss up that interception or Jeff Reed was going to go all Vic Mackey on a towel dispenser. You knew, and then it happened. That’s when the bile came out! The laundry list of everything they’ve ever done shot out of you making the dog run for cover and waking the baby. If you think that you had a good memory for Neal O’Donnell running out of bounds a yard shy of the sticks against Jacksonville when the Steelers really, really needed a win, then you will be amazed at the total recall you have when Bill Cowher takes the sideline for another team. That on sides kick against Dallas used to be gutsy, now it will be harebrained. Sticking with Kordell Stewart; you didn’t know why he did it but you appreciated his loyalty. Now, you know exactly why he did it and it turns your stomach! All of those AFC Championship losses; you were just positive that we’d get ‘em next year. Now: How in the HELL did he waste all that talent, home field advantages and weak opposition! He lost to the Chargers!! The Chargers!!
You know what? He deserves it. He left too many victories on the field. He pissed away too much goodwill. Now, he hangs out with chuckle headed losers and doesn’t even stand up for his team. Your Team! Making nice with the parents of his next girlfriend right there in front of you! He will be spitting in the faces of his new guys just like he used to do to Our Guys. Disgraceful. Then, and only then, will we finally get it all out of our systems; everything from the ugly sweaters to the squandered chances. Then and only then will we be able to put that relationship behind us and truly remember the good times.
Dave Buzard
12.13.2011