Colt McCoy To Steelers? Only In Bizzarro World

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During the offseason, I find it very easy to find ‘trinkets’ about the Steelers and delusions of grandeur because there’s not much in the way of real news going on.  I mean really, there’s only so many times one can reminisce about the Steelers amazing comeback against the Ravens in the AFC Championship back in January of 2011.  See?  Steeler fans don’t celebrate players like T-Sizzle getting injured.  We just think about beating them to get to the Super Bowl.  So what gem did I find today?

Someone actually believes that the Steelers have an ounce of interest in Colt McCoy of the Cleveland Browns.  Can I get an Ace Ventura ‘Reeeeheheheeeeaallly???’  In an article from the website Gather.com, author Erik Lambert, feels that the Steelers are just warming up to the idea of shopping for McCoy.  Well the Steelers are probably about as close to trading for McCoy as I am in starting as a walk on lineman for the Steelers – for emphasis let me tell you that I’m 6’2″ and weigh 170 lbs.  So, according to Lambert, why in the world are (or would) the Steelers ‘lure’ McCoy to join the Black & Gold?  Ben Roethlisberger, his reckless physical play and the potential of injury this season.

Lambert feels the backup QB situation in Pittsburgh is in sad shape.  Batch is old, Troy Smith is angry, and rookie Jerrod Johnson is fat…. I’ll wait…. yes reader, you’re right – what about Byron Leftwich? Aside from missing completely that the Steelers currently have FOUR backup QB’s on their roster, Lambert mischaracterizes the majority.

Though Charlie is a proven vet and has been one of the most dependable back ups you can have somehow he can’t hold the team for even a few weeks should Ben need to recover from an injury.  At age 37, Batch started for only the 7th time since 2002 as a Steeler and wiped the floor with the Rams.  His play was so crisp and his scrambling superb, one would have thought Big Ben had lost his #7 jersey in the locker room and put on Batch’s #16 instead.  Though Batch is entering his 15th season, he is healthy and has taken few hits while in his backup role.  Should Ben have to sit, I don’t think there is one soul of Steeler Nation who believes Charlie can bring the Steelers to victory.

I have to admit that I am skeptical of Byron Leftwich as a backup.  He can play as solid as Batch and has a canon (even though his release is as slow as Ochocinco solving 2+2=4).  However, the guy can’t stay healthier for more than a few weeks of the season over the past few years.  Maybe that’s why Lambert forgot about him.  And no matter how many times the media drudges up the ‘controversy’ as to who is #2 – Batch or Leftwich – it will always be Batch.

Troy Smith is one shade away from a garbage pickup.  He played six games for the 49’ers in 2010 and threw up some very uninspirational  numbers.  He played for the Omaha Nighthawks for the UFL in 2011, and again nothing impressive.  Former Texas A&M Aggie, Jerrod Johnson, is not really a rookie as Lambert puts it.  He’s a rookie to the NFL, though he was signed then released by the Eagles in 2011 as an undrafted free agent.  But he is not a rookie to football outside of college.  He did play for the UFL (I’m seeing a creepy trend) during 2011 after being released from Philly.  As with Smith, there’s not much to expect from this guy.  He’s only signed a futures contract and will more than likely remain as part of the practice team, or will get cut before camp is over.

So that’s 2 out of 4 QB’s who could realistically back up Ben Roethlisberger if (and more likely WHEN) he gets injured enough to not play.  Kinda necessary to put it in those terms, right?  Last time I checked, most teams… as in all teams… only keep three QB’s on their roster.  If my math serves me right that makes Ben #1, Batch #2, and Leftwich #3.  There’s no room for the others, so they aren’t worth talking about when sizing the ‘competition’ and notion of the Steelers somehow trading away Super Bowl talent for a backup QB like McCoy. That’s like trading your huge oreo brownie for a piece of string with ketchup on it at lunch time.  It just ain’t happening.

There’s no use for McCoy on the Steelers, and there’s no way the Steelers have the cash to cover his current contract with the Browns.  Why go through all that trouble of losing a decent player for a washed up one who is costing you millions more than he’s worth???  Oh that’s right, they won’t.  I’ll eat James Harrison’s jock strap if the Steelers are dumb enough to trade within their own division for a BACKUP PLAYER.  McCoy will more than likely see himself go to another team outside of the division and even conference like the Rams – I can agree with you on that Lamby.

Ugh.  I think I need to stop talking about the absurdity of this before my wife tells me for the third time that my ‘face will stay that way’ if I ‘keep making that stupid look.’