I think that it’s safe to say that the 0-4 Pittsburgh Steelers have been quite the “dumpster fire” to watch this fall.
Not much went right for the team during the first quarter of the 2013 regular season, and some might even consider the Pittsburgh’s professional football squad to be “unwatchable” at this point.
Even though the Steelers are an unmitigated disaster, that doesn’t mean I will stop myself and others from having a terrific time every Sunday with weekly drinking games.
So for you “21 and over” fans in need of some relief or additional incentive to watch what is sure to be a “snoozer” of a game, take a sip, swig, or even a hearty chug of your adult beverage if and when the following things listed below happen:
- Every dropped pass by a Pittsburgh wide receiver. (Take a shot if the wide receiver displays “alligator arms” at any point)
- Every time Ben Roethlisberger is sacked.
- Every time Pittsburgh’s offensive tackles (Kelvin Beachum, Marcus Gilbert, Levi Brown, etc.) display the pass-blocking skills of traffic cones.
- Every time Antonio Brown pulls his bush league garbage of pointing the with the ball after a pedestrian first down.
- After every “three and out” by Pittsburgh’s offense. (Take a shot if they are inside their own 20 yard line)
- After every Shaun Suisham field goal. (Take a shot if it is under 30 yards and the offense was bogged down in the red zone)
- After every first down scramble by Geno Smith.
- Any time the defense gives up points in the final two minutes of each half. (Take a shot for each point allowed if you’d like)
- Every time Ryan Clark misses a tackle or takes a poor angle to the ball, ball-carrier, or opposing pass-catcher.
- Every time you wish the front office had drafted Tyler Eifert and Giovani Bernard instead of Jarvis Jones and Le’Veon Bell.
- After each takeaway-less or sack-less quarter put up by Pittsburgh’s defense. (Take a shot for this one)
- After every penalty committed by the Steelers’ special teams coverage units.
- Any time you’re left wondering, “Did Mike Tomlin’s ban on table games accomplish anything?”
- Any time you’re left saying to Bill Cowher, who will be broadcasting the game, “Get out of the booth, and onto the sidelines.” (Take a shot if you do your best Billy Ocean impression and sing the lyrics inside the quotation marks.)
- BONUS ROUND, POST-GAME PRESSER: Take a shot every time Mike Tomlin uses the word “obvious” or “obviously.”
As I say every week, those of you participating can amend the rules as you see fit, especially if you are looking to drink responsibly and the game itself is an utter disaster before half time. Even if the Steelers are a “dumpster fire” to watch with their play on the field, it should not stop any of you from making the best of a bad situation.
So have fun today, be responsible, and try to stay as positive as possible that Pittsburgh will end their 0-4 skid.
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