Hooray for the Steelers!
After a horrendous 0-4 start to the 2013 regular season, Pittsburgh finally managed to record a victory last Sunday afternoon. At 1-4, the road does not get any easier for this team as they will have to face off against the Baltimore Ravens this weekend.
But hey, even though the Steelers are an unmitigated disaster, that doesn’t mean I will stop myself and others from having a terrific time every Sunday with weekly drinking games.
So for you “21 and over” fans in need of some relief or additional incentive to watch this rivalry game, take a sip, swig, or even a hearty chug of your adult beverage if and when the following things listed below happen:
- Every dropped pass by a Pittsburgh wide receiver. (Take a shot if the wide receiver displays “alligator arms” at any point)
- Every time Ben Roethlisberger is sacked.
- Every time Pittsburgh’s offensive tackles (Kelvin Beachum, Marcus Gilbert, Mike Adams, etc.) display the pass-blocking skills of traffic cones.
- Every time Antonio Brown pulls his bush league garbage of pointing the with the ball after a pedestrian first down.
- Every time Brown calls for a fair catch on a punt return when there is not a defender within five yards of him.
- After every “three and out” by Pittsburgh’s offense. (Take a shot if they are inside their own 20 yard line)
- After every Shaun Suisham field goal. (Take a shot if it is under 30 yards and the offense was bogged down in the red zone)
- After every running play by the Steelers which nets two yards or fewer.
- Any time the defense gives up points in the final two minutes of each half. (Take a shot for each point allowed if you’d like.)
- Every time Ryan Clark misses a tackle or takes a poor angle to the ball, ball-carrier, or opposing pass-catcher.
- After every turnover-less and sack-less quarter put up by Pittsburgh’s defense.
- Every time John Harbaugh pisses and moans over the officiating.
- After every passing play when you swear that Michael Oher takes his first step back before the ball is actually snapped. (Take a shot if the referees actually call him for a false start.)
- After every penalty committed by the Steelers’ special teams coverage units.
- Any time you’re left wondering, “Did Mike Tomlin’s ban on table games accomplish anything?”
- Every time Joe Flacco displays the facial expressions of a muppet.
- Every time the Ravens get 30+ yards on a pass interference penalty after a desperation heave by Flacco.
- BONUS ROUND, POST-GAME PRESSER: Take a shot every time Mike Tomlin uses the word “obvious” or “obviously.”
As I say every week, those of you participating can amend the rules as you see fit, especially if you are looking to drink responsibly and the game itself is an utter disaster before half time. Even if the Steelers are a “dumpster fire” to watch with their play on the field, it should not stop any of you from making the best of a bad situation.
So have fun today, be responsible, and try to stay as positive as possible that Pittsburgh will improve their record to 2-4.
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