On Monday, reports slammed the sports net that a drug bust took place at a property owned by former Pittsburgh Steelers Deshea Townsend. Two unidentified men occupied the house at the time of the raid was made, and police found 1,500 bricks of heroin, 16 guns, over $100,000 in cash and jewelry, cigars, cars….. and a live chicken. At the time of this post, Townsend has not been implicated in any way to being involved with the happenings at this property.
There’s really no shock value with this story. Between the shades of reality and what we usually find on The Onion these days, upon reading this story, it was difficult to tell what was real and what could have been made up. So rather than take this with any seriousness (because really how could you?), we’ll just go on ahead and treat this with the same type of stupidity of trying to hide 1,500 bricks of heroin (among the other contraband) at a neighborhood home. Ahem…..
As for the two men, their days are numbered and their actions have come home to roost.
Maurkice Pouncey is reportedly trying to get Nike to make “Free Chicken” hats. Agent is skeptical and not looking forward to having to give away thousands of pounds of free chicken.
Deshea Townsend was called shortly after the bust in order to stay abreast of the situation.
Kevin Colbert and Mike Tomlin have been unsuccessful in contacting the chicken directly in seek of it’s 40 time. Dri Archer threatens to sit out the rest of OTA’s prior to camp.
Former Steelers safety Ryan Clark gives statement that “heroin use runs rampant among ex-NFL players especially Steelers” without really being asked for his opinion.
Steelers rookie NT Daniel McCullers was seen near the holding pen of the chicken. Police forced to step up security prior to questioning.
Turns out the chicken was running the whole operation.
Alright alright. I’ve had my fun. Time to end the nonsense. For Townsend’s sake, I hope he really has/had nothing to do with what went on in that house. Either way, you can be pretty darn sure that he might want to do a more thorough background check before allowing anyone to stay on any of his properties again.