He's no John Madden. That's for sure. Mandatory Credit: Stew Milne-US PRESSWIRE

Well the 2012-2013 NFL season isn’t even 24 hours old and already my picks for the week are screwed. Thanks, Cowboys. As things were wrapping up last night, and as the Giants and I were starting our season 0 – 1, I felt a familiar feeling. It was a feeling from my childhood, two feelings at once really, which is difficult for a grown man to process (let alone a baby boy no bigger than a squirrel). I was simultaneously pissed at Dallas just because they had won, and begrudgingly respectful of how well they played. I am so conflicted anytime that I have to give a Steelers’ rival any measure of respect where respect is due.

Like most guys, I blame my father for any flaws and defects in my otherwise perfect persona (you should see the size of my ears, they’re huge). The Old Man was always able to see right down the middle of every situation. He loves the Steelers like a real man should but, being the square shooter that he is, never dismissed the Black and Gold’s rivals as lesser teams. “Every man needs a rival.” He would say. “They keep you on your game.” He was right, too. Where would the Steelers of the seventies, those teams of my youth, be without their rivals? The Cleveland Browns, Houston Oilers, Oakland Raiders, and Dallas Cowboys pushed the Steelers to the top of the NFL and then helped to keep them there. It was these rivalries that gnawed at Pittsburgh, kept a fire in the belly of the best franchise of that decade. Like it or not, those teams that the Steelers fought with the hardest, played almost as much of a role in the Steelers success of the seventies as did Bradshaw, Harris, Lambert, Greene, or Noll. You can respect a rival. Mike Webster (RIP) used to tell a story about Tunch Ilkin, Craig Wolfley, and himself, all plowing into Cleveland’s Bob Golic on a play. Only two of the three of them were supposed to take on Golic. As Golic lay on the field counting his fractures, Webster extended his hand, helped his rival to his feet, and said “Sorry, Bobby. One of those guys F’ed up.” Many of John Madden’s raiders make the trip to Pittsburgh or host former Steelers players in Oakland to drink and relive the old days; this, from dudes who tried killing each other with regularity. Bum Phillips, Al Davis, Art Modell (RIP), and Tom Landry, were personalities I could really take issue with while at the same time give them some props when they were having their moment.

Then, the 80’s happened and the whole damn thing went sideways on us. No Bum Phillips, John Madden, or Tom Landry. Our rivals had changed shape. We got Jerry Glanville, The Raiders moved to LA, and where in the HELL did the 49ers come from? Cleveland decided that Denver would be a better rival for them than Pittsburgh, although they fared no better against them. It has blasphemously been reported that ‘the game’ passed Chuck Noll by. I suggest that Noll just expected a better class of rival. Football coaches had been replaced by evil geniuses, schemers, and tyrants. Bill Walsh, Bill Parcells, and Mike Ditka were stealing the fire of Noll, Shula, and Landry. The whole shooting match was turning into big business. Rivalries were determined by Neilson ratings and advertising dollars. You didn’t really have to respect anyone any more.

It’s easier for me now. I can just freaking hate. Hate the Patriots. Hate the Cowboys (remember SB XXX!). And most of all HATE THE RAVENS (TCSFB). But damn it, Dad, now and then I just want a respectable rival.

RIP Art Modell.  You had a terribe stadium deal and you did what you had to do.

Manning looks ready to stick his neck out against the Steelers.. Mandatory Credit: Matt Kartozian-US PRESSWIRE

Purgatory is just about over!  In just a little over 24 hours, fans of Professional Tackle Football will be watching games weekly until February of 2013.  Welcome back old friend, I’ve missed you like crazy.  Oh, and leaves; you can rake yourselves.  The Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants will get the regular season started September 5^th in primetime and our very own Pittsburgh Steelers play Sunday night in the feature game of the day.  I am ready to bask in all the pageantry and glory that is opening weekendedness in the NFL.  You have to admit that they have diluted the impact of the product the last few years by having the Thursday night opener and now they’ve bumped it back to Wednesday night on a short work week.  But hey, I bitch and I watch just the same.

All of the lead up to the Sunday night contest looks like a fall preview for the Peyton Manning Show (coming to NBC right after 30 Rock!!).  The promos focus on a very serious looking Peyton and speak of his rebirth with a new team and the promise of a new beginning for both him and Johnny Horseface’s Broncos.  The Pittsburgh Steelers are mentioned only in passing; kind of a courtesy flush, if you will, for the Black and Gold.  No matter.  The Steelers have a history of ruining a team’s coming out party.  In 2001 the Tennessee Titans were poised to take their place atop the AFC and came into Pittsburgh to stake their claim.  They left with their tails between their legs.  The 2004 Eagles didn’t fare any better when they came into Heinz Field riding some stupidly made up winning streak that spanned different seasons.  The Steelers pounded the hell out of them and mocked T.O. mercilessly.  Peyton Manning himself knows what it is to play the belle of the ball to the plain Jane’s that are the Steelers.  The 2007 Indianapolis Colts were a lock at home to dismiss the pesky Steelers.  Manning abandoned his game and tried to match up physically against J. Peezy and his defensive brethren.  Having an over confident douche of a place kicker boot one wide didn’t help Peyton’s cause any that day either.  The Pittsburgh Steelers are a humble squad but don’t like to be given the also ran role (they won’t be ignored, Dan….). 

I, for one, can’t wait to see Peyton Manning under center for Denver.  I hope he audibles all over the place on every play until the brains fall right out of the heads of those Mile High idiots.  The daggers that Manning will stare through those morons after using all of his timeouts in the first quarter due to confusion will crack me up.  He is literally a man playing amongst boys there.  It’s Peyton Manning’s opportunity to reestablish himself as the dominant quarterback in the league.  Is his supporting cast up to it?

I’m sure that Pittsburgh’s defense is up for the challenge.

Mike Wallace sees greener money somewhere else. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee/Image of Sport-US PRESSWIRE

In case you haven’t heard, Mike Wallace has arrived in Pittsburgh to sign his tender.  Wallace will earn 2.7 million clams for his services this year.  I was fairly positive (I get like that) that Speedy Mike would come back to town.  But in my mind I thought he would present himself in a different manner.  Here’s how I’d hoped the Mike Wallace extravaganza would have played out:

                “Ladies and gentlemen of the press, my Steelers teammates, and Steelers Nation, thank you so much for coming out on this beautiful Western Pennsylvania day.  I’m sure you had other stories to cover, practices to attend, or lives to lead.  It is humbling that you give me this opportunity to address you all.  As you may know, after last season, I was an restricted free agent.  And although I didn’t end the 2011/2012 season as competitively as I started it, I still thought I was worth a king’s ransom in the murky waters that are restricted free agency. 

My agent and I made every attempt to walk away from this team, this city, and this fan base.  We did it for money.  I am young, highly talented, not terribly aware of my place in the world, and I felt that another NFL team would be willing to give me more money than the Pittsburgh Steelers.  There was a highlight film from last season that we used to showcase my talents to prospective teams that I hoped would pay me more money than the Pittsburgh Steelers.  I had the tape edited down to show just the first nine games.  This was in an effort to show my best performances and to down play any mention of how my game faded toward the end of the year. 

I have seen my teammates restructure their own contracts to free up money to sign other players to long term deals.  If no other NFL team was willing to pay me the money I thought I was due, the ‘Larry Fitzgerald’ money that I spoke of, I was hoping my brothers on the Steelers would sacrifice their own salaries so that I could pad my wallet.  My other option, here in Pittsburgh, would be for this historically cautious franchise to make me a super sweet deal.  A deal that bound their hands to sign other free agents and even this year’s class of draft picks.  As I said before, I’m young and I and not terribly aware of my place in the world. 

Alas, none of those afore mentioned scenarios took place.  I lost any percieved leverage that I thought I had.  So I did what other people, immature people with feelings of entitlement do; I pouted.  I didn’t participate in my team’s OTAs even though I knew we had a new offensive coordinator.  I stayed away from minicamp even though I recognized my team’s void in leadership.  I then decided not to attend training camp even though my team would be working and sweating and bonding without me.  Keep in mind though, I technically did nothing wrong throughout this entire process.  As I mentioned earlier, the waters of restricted free agency are murky at best. 

But here I am before you now. You can’t say that I arrived at the last minute but I did arrive a day later than I was expected to.  This was to ensure that I wouldn’t have to practice with my teammates at all this week because it’s still very warm here in Western Pennsylvania.  I don’t want to over exert myself in this heat or risk an injury that would affect my chances of leaving this city, this team, and this fan base as soon as this season is over.  For my agent and me, it’s all about the money.  I should at least be paying some lip service to winning or to the concepts of team and brotherhood; but at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I just want money.

I’ll be more than honored to answer any and all of your questions now.”

But it play out anything like that, did it?  Wallace did not say any of those things.

Have a great season, Mike.  I mean that too.  Get your stats, get your story told, put some highlights on tape (try for an entire year this time), hell, get yourself a Steelers Super Bowl ring that has to be delivered to you in a different locker room.  I don’t care.  Just go and blow your smoke somewhere else.

Mike Wallace is all about Mike Wallace and there’s nothing murky about that.

Mike Tomlin will take your NON Mike Wallace Questions now.. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

Mike Tomlin has one response and one response only when asked what the status is of receiver Mike Wallace.  That response has been a steady, “I will talk to Mike Wallace when he gets here”.  Oh, sure there are a couple of little variations in the response but the focus and intent has been the same every time the Steelers head coach has been probed about the missing wide out.  All seventeen million times that Tomlin has been asked by the media about what his plans are for Wallace, he responds that he will talk to, or deal with, him when he reports.  The press has not worn Tomlin down through constant badgering.  The badgering continued yesterday as 93.7 FM The Fan, aired most of the Mike Tomlin Press Conference.  After four, count ‘em, four reporters posed the almost exact question to the coach about Wallace, Tomlin responded that he wouldn’t take any more questions about Mike Wallace and if more questions were going to be asked they would have to be about people who were presently on the team.  Mike Tomlin didn’t turn into a raging idiot and conjure his inner Ditka or Parcells.  He was firm, direct, and succinct, but not mean, or loud, or argumentative.

Seibel, Starkey, and Miller, The Fan’s afternoon team, then commented that Mike Tomlin used to be an affable, approachable coach but now turned surly with the media.  Josh Miller said Tomlin was now as bad as Bill Belichick when it came to handling the press.  Really, Josh?  Does this sound like Belichick:  Less than a minute after Mike Tomlin moved the reporters away from the Wallace Situation, he was asked if first round pick, David DeCastro, was upbeat following his injury?  Tomlin chuckled broadly and quipped that DeCastro was upbeat “for Decastro”, in reference to the guard’s dower personality.  It sure sounded like everyone around Tomlin got a good long laugh out of the remark.   Tomlin then went into depth about the schedule of the team’s activities for the short week leading up to this Thursday’s final pre season game and addressed some questions on who may or may not see playing time this week.  I’ve seen how Bill Belichick can suck the oxygen out of a room when he gets pissy with the press.  This was nowhere near that level of consternation.  Josh Miller should know better, shouldn’t he?  Hell, he played for The Hoodie for a few seasons.

Press conferences are high profile events for the press but a pain in the butt for the head coaches.  Media outlets from all over the country, and globally once the season heats up, descend upon NFL press rooms weekly.  Reporters yell over each other, never listening to the questions that were asked before theirs, and end up barking the same question over and over at a football coach.  Coaches are result driven people.  If they have to repeat themselves regularly at their primary job (coaching football) it means people are screwing up.

27 year beat writer for the Steelers, Ed Bouchette (the dean of pro football writers in Pittsburgh) has said it didn’t used to be that way.  In the Chuck Noll era, Bouchette reports, six or eight beat writers from local media outlets would sit around a table and actually talk to Chuck Noll.  No shouting.  No questions repeatedly repeated.  And here’s the kicker:  If one of these reporters asked a question that was deemed sensitive by Noll, like an injury or a brush with the law, Chuck would ask them to turn off their recorders or put down their pads and then he’d tell them about it.  It was understood that those comments were off the record and if the information leaked, Noll would know, within a reasonable doubt, where the leak came from.  Do you think a coach/press relationship like that is possible in today’s tabloid driven society?  Are we, as consumers of the NFL product, entitled to know every detail of every minute of the operation of the teams we follow?  There are eleven herbs and spices in a piece of KFC (mmmmmm……KFC), we don’t really know what they are but we blindly eat up tons of the stuff daily.  My point being that we can enjoy the product without knowing the minutia behind the preparation.   NFL coaches are not public relations professionals.  The coaches are available to the press immediately following a game and for a weekly pressor because the NFL demands that they be.  They don’t volunteer to meet the press and then treat them poorly for their own amusement.

Well, maybe Parcells did…

Is this Ike's time to shine?. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-US PRESSWIRE

It’s happening again. I’m looking at the Steelers back field and my stomach is producing enough caustic compounds to get its own ‘Breaking Bad’ spinoff. I get nervous anytime I look at the Home Team’s stable of rushers and don’t see a clear cut #1 guy. And more than just a default, ‘this back is our starter because he’s the least injured’ runner either. Right now, I don’t see the stud, the horse, or even the bus. I see a roster of fellows, some more competent than others, some with huge potential upside, but all wildcards with more cause for concern than I am comfortable with. Here’s who the Steelers have right now:

John Clay: Wait. Check that. They cut John Clay and his torn quad a couple of days ago. Not a big loss by any stretch but at least he LOOKED like the type of back Steelers fans are used to; 6’1” and 255 lbs. No matter though. Clay is gone.

Baron Batch and Chris Rainey: The current depth chart lists both of these backs together in the #3 spot. Batch created substantial buzz in training camp last year before shredding his knee and having his rookie season nixed before it even started. The free spirited Renaissance man has looked a bit better than average at running the ball so far this preseason but picked up blitzes very well against the Colts. He is still lightning quick on his feet and showing no fear out there in the fray. Batch’s depth chart partner (I’m not sure that’s legal in many states) is Chris Rainey. Rainey is this year’s Baron Batch. He’s a great interview, possesses an absolutely STOOPID amount of speed and agility, and could be a future NFL star in the mold of Darren Sproles. So far this preseason, Rainey has looked less than stellar fielding punts but could be a real weapon in the kick return game. He would ideally become a third down specialist in the Todd Haley offense and that could yield hefty returns. All of those hefty returns are hinged on Rainey staying healthy. Chris got himself dinged up in the opener against the Eagles and spent some time in the locker room last weekend being evaluated for a concussion. He looks to be flexing or rubbing something almost every time he gets up from a pile. Durability is the big question with both of these backs.

Jonathan Dwyer: It took 3 NFL seasons for Dwyer to finally report to training camp and not be morbidly obese. Starting your first two seasons in Mike Tomlin’s and Kirby Wilson’s collective dog house is no way to do business. But the Steelers must have seen the potential in this back. He played well when called upon last season. Dwyer passes the Joe Greene Eye Test as well. He’s 5’ 11” and weighs 235 lbs. He looks like a Black and Gold running back and is currently the only Steelers heavy weight that is not nursing some kind of injury.

Rashard Mendenhall: Or for you faithful followers of Solomon Wilcots, Mendinghall. Rashard done blowed out his knee thing in last year’s Browns finale and required big time surgery in the off season. The former featured back has just been removed from the P.U.P. list this week and has net to test the new wheel in a game type situation. Mendenhall is big, powerful, and fast but can be irritating as all hell to watch when he does that damn spin move BEFORE he hits the hole. Side to side cuts seem to be the last moves a back regains after major knee surgery so maybe Rashard will just hit the line straight on and leave the spin moves up to the Madden players.

 Isaac Redman: Most of us have been clamoring for this guy to get his shot as the full time starter and we’ve got our wish. Redman is a big old punishing runner that can turn on the jets (relatively slow jets, but jets just the same) when he gets to the open field. The phrase I keep hearing pointed towards Ike is “maybe the game will be too big for him”. That’s NFL code for “he was an unrestricted free agent so, since we don’t have much cash invested in the guy, we don’t expect much from him”. Redman came out of Bowie State where I hope the fight song is ‘Rebel Rebel’. Bowie State is a real live college, where they play real live, eleven on eleven, tackle football. They even allow large numbers of fans to attend their games and play with a regulation sized ball and everything. Redman will stuff it up in between the tackles without fear but he did put piggy on the ground a couple of times last season. That’s no good. Right now he’s nursing a combination groin, hip, hammy, injury. Any one of those tweaks tends to be, at best, nagging and chronic. Soooo…… there’s that.

Do you think a healthy free agent running back would be a good pick up for the Steelers right now or should I just buy more Tums?