On any given week, I receive a number of messages from people looking to promote something. Most I simply ignore because there’s no benefit for either my readers or this site. Some help keep NPC alive by becoming advertisers. Others, like Crocs or M&Ms, agree to sponsor a contest in exchange for a little publicity. You’d be surprised at the variety of companies I’ve talked with over the past 3 years.

However, Playboy is one word I never expected to see in a subject heading.

I was contacted in regards to Playboy’s 38th annual NFL Preview, which is in their October issue currently on sell online at www.playboydigital.com or at your local newsstand. They asked me to take a look at the story and share some thoughts with my readers. I was a little dubious but impressed by the fact they’ve covered the NFL for thirty-eight years. To think, when they started writing about football, it was back in the dark ages before the Brazilian bikini wax had been invented.

Besides, it’s the first time I could truthfully say I read it for the articles.

Thumbing through the story, I was pleasantly surprised by the coverage, which was a good read, equal to what you’d find in a sports magazine, except the Shannon Twins in bodypaint are a bit more pleasant to look at than Peter King.  Then I got to the post-season predictions.  My blood pressure began to rise while the slight taste of bile welled up in throat.  I shook with anger which is almost physically impossible for a man to do when he’s in the vicinity of naked women.  That’s why strip clubs are the happiest places on earth.

This is what I saw:

“AFC North Champion: Baltimore Ravens

AFC Wild Cards: Pittsburgh Steelers,  Indianapolis Colts”

They predicted the RAVENS will win the North?  The team we beat in humiliating fashion not once, not twice, but THRICE last season?  I can understand picking the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl.  Tommy Brady is a dreamboat who has probably impregnated several Playmates through the hypnotic power of his chin dimple so that makes sense.  But the Ratbirds will beat out the Steelers?  WTF?!?

I was astounded by this affront to Steeler Nation.  Then I noticed the piece was written by one Rick Gosselin.  A quick google search revealed Gosselin’s day job is a columnist for the Dallas Morning News.  A-HA!  Now it makes sense.  The taste in my mouth quickly subsided as I simultaneously realized what Rick must have been tasting when he wrote the article:  sour grapes.

Here’s hoping Playboy allows the Shannon twins to handle the predictions next time.  I have no idea their qualifications but they’re probably unbiased and Kristina clearly has excellent choice in football teams as well as uniform numbers.  By the way, I would definitely like to see the bodypainting fad catch on since we don’t have cheerleaders and the practice has been dominated by obnoxious frat-boys and 300 pound beer bellied lunatics for far far too long.  Leave it up to Steeler Nation to bring sexy back.

President Barack Obama met with our World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers on Thursday. He immediately displayed his folksy charm by reading some lame prepared remarks, then continued to push his populist agenda by putting the Steelers to work preparing USO care packages. Not that I have anything but the deepest respect for our troops serving overseas but isn’t it kind of tacky to invite the Super Bowl champions over to salute their accomplishments then turn that platform into a lecture on civic duty? This isn’t elementary school for crying out loud.

Conspicuous by his absence was 2008 NFL Defensive Player of the Year and author of the greatest defensive play in Super Bowl history, linebacker James Harrison.

Now perhaps you’ve been living under a rock the past week or perhaps you’re just blissfully unaware of the swirling controversy. In which case, I envy you. For the past week has seen an almost daily media blitz directed at the Silverback. HOW DARE HE NOT GO! HE’S SPITTING ON THE FLAG! COMMIE!

Okay, perhaps I’m exaggerating just a tad. But for the past week, every media outlet from USA Today to ESPN and every talking head on every talk show has seemingly weighed in with his or her opinion on whether James Harrison should have gone to the White House. Which is great, we do enjoy free speech in this country. However the only opinion I care about in this case is that of, oh I don’t know, JAMES HARRISON?

If the man doesn’t want to visit the White House, he doesn’t have to visit the White House. It doesn’t make him unamerican. It doesn’t make him classless. It doesn’t make him immature. It makes him a man, a big scary quarterback killing man, who made a choice. And I have no idea why that’s such a problem for some people.

This entire situation reminds me of the recent controversy over that bubbleheaded bleach blonde Miss America contestant. She supposedly lost the crown when her answer to the question of supporting gay marriage was decidedly not the politically correct one. Look, I’m not taking one side or the other in that debate but she stated her OPINION. When did that become wrong? So am I to understand people should say things they don’t believe or attend functions they have no interest in just because OTHERS think they should? Huh?

When Silverback declared he was going to miss the festivities, the media went into a frenzy trying to figure out why. Let’s be honest, most athletes are meatheads. They don’t go to college to learn, they go to audition for the NFL. So they don’t always explain themselves well and are seldom deep thinkers. Sticking a microphone in front of them and expecting them to give a sound philosophical answer to something that doesn’t need explaining in the first place is a sure recipe for disaster.

And so it was. Harrison said “This is how I feel — if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, [Obama] would’ve invited Arizona if they had won.” This quote sent the talking heads into overdrive because of the seeming ridiculousness of the logic.

Except it does make sense. Luckily, I speak meathead jock so allow me to translate. Suppose you get an invitation to a wedding or a birthday party. Now suppose instead of the invitation being addressed “Dear Your Name Here” it said “To Whom It May Concern.” Would you still go? The President meets the Super Bowl champion, he doesn’t care what team it is. It’s basically a form letter.  James Harrison doesn’t do form letters.

Then things got more ridiculous when the Rooney Family went into spin control mode. I love the Rooneys but they’re damn lucky the Steelers are the most honorable organization in sports. If they ever had a negative PR issue, they’d be screwed because they are totally inept at handling bad press. They clearly issued an order to their puppets at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (you may know them as “the sports department”) who then came out with a ridiculous story that Harrison was afraid to fly.  Next you’ll tell me that’s really why Tony Kornheiser left Monday Night Football.

The problem with this story is Harrison flies at least 8-12 times per year during the football season. He also flew to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. And, um, he played one season in NFL Europe. Do you know how long it takes to fly to Europe? Pretty damn long.  Not to mention D.C. is about 5 hours by car. Well, I can make it in 4 but I tend to see speed limits as more suggestions than rules.

Anyway, that bullcrap story created yet another round of speculation. Look, Harrison didn’t go to see George W. Bush when we won back in ’05 so it’s not a political thing. He just didn’t see the point in wasting his time on an empty promotional fluff piece when weights needed lifted and sprints needed, um, sprinted.  He is an adult and he decided he had no desire to visit a place and meet a man he has no reverence for.  And I have no problem with that.

As long as he keeps sacking the quarterback.

At precisely 12:01 tonight, the first stage of the 2009 NFL season kicks off.  That’s when Free Agency officially begins, sending the league into a wild orgy of cash and courtship.  No doubt the Washington Redskins will be one of the biggest spenders and no doubt they’ll end up on the outside looking in at the playoffs when December rolls around.  And if everything works out for us, Baltimore will lose two of their three starting murderers thugs linebackers so they’ll be even easier to beat every time we play them.

The Pittsburgh Steelers have a number of players about to dip their gnarly toes in the free agent waters.  I thought I’d give a quick rundown of those players and give a bit of commentary on what I think their future holds.

Restricted Free Agents (Steelers can tender them a contract.  Another team can sign them for a higher tender but must surrender a draft pick roughly equal to what pick they were):

OT Willie Colon – One of our worst OL this year.  Hopefully he’ll be pushed by a free agent pick up or early round draft pick because he was truly terrible.  Still, the team needs players and might as well keep him around for a token raise.

CB Anthony Madison - Will likely be in the mix with CB William Gay for one of the starting CB spots next season when McFadden leaves.  Also one of our best special team players.  Most important signing of this group.

FB Sean McHugh - Our best option at fullback since Carey Davis is absolutely useless but must possess pictures of the Rooneys at a Furry Convention or something to be kept on the roster.  Not going to make you forget Moose Johnston anytime soon although without a better choice, gotta keep him.

S Anthony Smith - I guarantee he’ll get a token offer.  I don’t think Tomlin likes him much so it wouldn’t shock me if he walked, though.

Unrestricted Free Agents:

QB Charlie Batch – 35 years old and going into his 11th season.  Actually, it’s more like his 16th because years spent with the Detroit Lions should count extra.  The coaches seem to love him and I predict you’ll see him on our coaching staff when his playing days end.  He’ll probably sign for a pretty cheap price since it appears he wants to ride off into the sunset with his hometown team.  Toss him a meager contract and just pray he can hold it together for the next season or two until Dennis Dixon is ready to take his place.

P Mitch Berger – Hope the ring scores you a ton of poon, Mitch.  We won’t be seeing you kick your magnificent soaring 30 yard punts next year.

CB Fernando Bryant - Washed up.  Looked terrible when he played although he was only signed because of all the injuries to our regular DBs.  We’ll keep his number in our Rolodex but I wouldn’t expect any contract offers from the Steelers or anybody.

OT Trai Essex – The Steelers had a terrible offensive line and this guy couldn’t start on it.  That should tell you his talent level.  I won’t say nobody will sign him because there are some desperate teams out there but I wouldn’t expect much interest.  We’ll probably keep him for a minor raise.

LB Keyaron Fox – Special teams ace.  Probably the best “gunner” we’ve had since Sean Morey left.  Doesn’t seem to have the talent to be a starter so I doubt there will be a ton of bidding on a special teamer.  Probably can keep him for a small raise.

LB Andre Frazier – Another backup.  The thing is, it’s hard to tell how good our backups are because our linebackers are so fantastic, you could be a very good player and be buried on the bench.

OG Chris Kemoeatu - Good riddance.  I expect some desperate team with too much cap room and too little brains to take a flier on him.  He’s all potential.  Kemo has the size and strength which would lead you to believe he’ll be a monster but he never plays up to his expectations.  Some team will look at the potential and think they can coach it out of him.  Better them than us.  Along with Colon, one of our two worst performers on the line who won’t be missed.   Especially if the Steelers can bring in a quality veteran like Indy center Jeff Saturday .

QB Byron Leftwich – Would love to keep him but with QB quality sucking around the league, he’s probably the best QB on the open market.  Some team will dangle a starting position under his nose and he’ll have to jump at it.  Thanks for beating the ‘Skins for us, Byron.

CB Bryant McFadden – Another guy I’m sure many of you desperately want to keep but it won’t happen.  A starting CB on the #1 rated pass defense in the NFL?   He’s going to attract a bidding war and the Steelers never get involved in bidding wars.  Hate to lose him because he seems to finally be coming into his own but not enough cap room and too many holes/contract extensions need addressed to commit $5-6 million to him.  Thanks for the memories, B-Mac.

OT Marvel Smith – Missed most of 2007, had back surgery, then missed most of 2008.  Once a top notch LT, now too many question marks.  Hope he can make a comeback but it will be for another team as it’s time to bid him farewell.

WR Nate Washington – Does the name “Antwaan Randle El” ring any bells?   That was the last #3 receiver the Steelers lost to free agency when some dimwitted team (*cough*Skins*cough*) paid him starter money to be a third down slot guy.  Somebody will make the same mistake with Nate, there are already rumblings the Titans see him as the answer to their lack of a big play reciever.  They’ll be in for a nice surprise the first time he drops a perfectly thrown pass after he breaks free 40 yards down the field.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll miss Tiffin Thunder but a #3 WR who drops one for every one he catches isn’t that hard to replace.

I know you’re thinking, “Oh great, more analysis!” One of the drawbacks to reaching the Super Bowl is every blogger with an internet connection, every talking head on ESPN, every newspaper columnist still toiling in a dying medium, pretty much anybody vaguely aware of a game called football decides to provide their insights on the outcome. Unfortunately, most of those people have seen the Pittsburgh Steelers play maybe a handful of times which means their opinions are about as educated as the elephant who picked the Steelers to win on Sunday. Maybe Detroit should hire him as their G.M. He’s already proven to be a lot smarter than Matt Millen.

Anyway, with all that in mind, please allow me to present a breakdown of the game by somebody eats, sleeps, breathes, and bleeds Black and Gold.

Despite being known as perhaps the worst franchise in the NFL, Arizona Cardinals owner Bill Bidwell managed to bully the state into building the team a new domed stadium. Despite being one of the ugliest in the league, it was still a vast improvement over the old facility where fans would fry in the desert sun while watching horrendous football being played. After getting the new digs, the Cardinals became an active player in free agency.

They hired Denny Green to complete the transition from NFL joke to NFL contender. Unfortunately, he was who we thought he was and failed partially due to the pitiful state of the team he inherited and partially because he’s a lousy coach. After canning Green, they sought a coach who could remove the culture of losing which had permeated the franchise since 1947. Naturally they looked to Pittsburgh, one of the most successful franchises in all of sports, hiring Bill Cowher‘s offensive coordinator, Ken Whisenhunt.

Whisenhunt’s personality and football ideology is similar to his former boss. Like Cowher, he’s an intense coach who wants to play a tough, smash mouth, blitzing style of football. He also has little patience for players who don’t follow his mandates or commit too many mistakes which is why he ended up yanking top draft pick QB Matt Leinart in favor of veteran Kurt Warner. Steady leadership at the QB position combined with finally having somebody behind center with the arm to take advantage of their talented wide receivers and also aided by playing in the worst division in the NFL propelled the Cardinals to their first division title since 1975. Subsequently, three straight upset wins over heavily favored opponents have the team believing they are a team of destiny.

STEELER DEFENSE vs. CARDINALS OFFENSE

The Cardinals offense is almost a carbon copy of the system Whisenhunt ran here in Pittsburgh. People like to think we lined up and ran the ball down people’s throats but in reality the Steelers often passed to set up the run. Remember, for example, the big win at Indianapolis during the Super Bowl run where we came out throwing on the opening TD drive. Arizona follows a similar approach, although during the season they tended to pass the ball a lot more than run since rushing appeared to be a weakness and passing seemed to be their strength. The other reason was big ticket free agent RB Edgerrin James fell out of favor with the coaches to the point he was replaced as starter by rookie Tim Hightower.

Realizing a change had to take place for them to be successful in the playoffs, Whisenhunt wisely began to dial the offense back to a more reasonable run-pass ratio. With that in mind, they quickly decided James was the best choice to carry the load as the primary back. James gets a lot of love because he’s a smart, tough, savvy football player who is also valuable on passing downs in blitz pick up. There is some question of whether his heavy workload over a long career has taken its toll on his body as sometimes he looks like the Edge of old and other times seems to be a step behind.

The Steelers narrowly missed a #1 ranking against the rush which would’ve made the team first in every major defensive category. They’re still almost impossible to run against as both Willis McGahee and Darren Sproles have discovered. With “Big Snack” Casey Hampton, the ever-improving Brett Keisel, and the criminally underrated Aaron Smith holding the line, I wouldn’t expect James to break this trend.

The onus is going to be on QB Kurt Warner to make plays in the passing game. Of course, he can’t complete passes if he’s lying flat on his back. The story of this game will be written by the Cardinal’s offensive line. If they can stem the tide of the most fearsome pass rush in the NFL, they might have a chance to shock the world.

The line was the unit that needed to make the biggest improvements this year and they did by signing left tackle Mike Gandy and center Al Johnson. Johnson’s lack of strength was an issue in Dallas, but he seemingly didn’t have that problem in Arizona this season. LG Reggie Wells tries hard and at times looks very good but other times looks lost. RG Deuce Lutui has talent but is still pretty raw and struggles with technique. RT Levi Brown is a rookie who has played capably this year but is still going to struggle like any other first year player would.

Looking at the match-ups, I’d have to thing defensive coordinator Dick Lebeau will have some favorable situations to exploit with his infamous Zone Blitz scheme. As it is now, The raw Lutui and rookie Brown will be lining up across from LaMarr Woodley. That’s gotta be something Mister Woodley looks forward to. Wells and Gandy will have problems of their own with James Harrison. This doesn’t even factor in safety blitzes or shifting the linebackers around to confuse the offense.

Their line was helped a lot by having Warner taking the snaps. The problems with Leinart (bad decision making, weak arm, slow release) aren’t there with Warner. He’s able to read the field and get rid of the ball in a hurry which saves the line a lot of sacks because the ball is gone before they get beat. Warner’s a classic pocket passer with very limited mobility. Like any classic pocket QB, his big weakness is when he gets ran around and/or hit, he tends to get frazzled and erratic. Luckily for him, he has arguably the best collection of wide outs in the league to throw at.

The Cardinals will continue to revolve their offense around the passing game as long as Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are on the team. Both are quality all around receivers in the sense they can perform on short, intermediate, and deep pass patterns. Fitzgerald has been Superman in the playoffs, beating people with speed downfield and outleaping defenders to aggressively snag balls out of the air on plays where he’s covered. You can’t stop him, only hope to contain him.

Boldin has battled injuries this season continuing into the playoffs. He’s had two weeks to recover and should be near 100% this Sunday which is bad because when he is on, he’s a dynamic receiver. Steve Breaston played in Boldin’s absence and put up a 1,000 yard season himself. Much of that is owed to teams rolling coverage over to Fitz but make no mistake he’s a very good receiver. They also have rookie Early Doucet who they like bring in on four WR packages so there are no easy covers on this roster.

Fortunately, the Steelers have possibly the best trio of cover corners in the league in Deshea Townshend, Bryant McFadden, and Face Me Ike Taylor. Taylor has had a breakthrough season as he’s been matched against every top receiver (T.O., Randy Moss, T.J. Houshalottaletters) and done well against all of them. He’s got the size and speed to play with anybody. It’ll be imperative he has one of the best games of his life when he’s matched up on Fitzgerald. While he’ll get help, most notably from Mean Troy Polamalu and the Hitman Ryan Clark, nobody expects him to completely smother L.F., the Steelers cannot allow one player to beat them.  Likewise, they cannot allow the ever tricky Whisenhunt to buy a cheap TD through some sort of gadget play.  Let’s see if the secondary, especially the Three Amigos, are up to the task.

STEELER OFFENSE vs. CARDINALS DEFENSE

The Cardinals started the season running the 3-4 but it didn’t work out for them. Defensive coordinator Clancy Penderghast switched them back to a 4-3 which he’s more comfortable with despite Whisenhunt preferring to copy the Steelers in every way. The team’s personnel is more suited to the 3-4 as Darnell Dockett has the size and athletic ability to play DT while rookie Calais Campbell is better off playing on the line. Despite being ranked in the bottom half of the league in total defense, Penderghast has game planned brilliantly in the postseason, dialing up all sorts of stunts and blitzes from the formation.

Still, Campbell is undersized for his position and Dockett isn’t stout at the point of attack. The Cardinals allowed 110 yards rushing per game during the regular season so they can be run on. If the Steelers are to win, Fast Willie Parker will have to have a game along the lines of his season best performance against San Diego. Running the ball effectively not only puts the breaks on their ability to blitz every play but it also serves the very crucial purpose of keeping the high powered Arizona offense off the field. If FWP doesn’t 15 or so carries by the start of the fourth quarter, that will be a big red flashing warning sign no matter what the score.

The good news for the passing game is perhaps the biggest question mark for the defense belongs at linebacker. Bertrand Berry was at one point an elite pass rusher but age and injuries took him down a notch. Gerald Hayes and Karlos Dansby can take on blockers, cover a little and defend against the run. Dansby has talent although Hayes is a little more refined. Still, this is by no means a sack-making high pressure unit. If our offensive line can play at the same level they’ve shown thus far in the playoffs, QB Ben Roethlisberger should find his achy ribs well protected.

Like the secondary for the Steelers dealing with the Cardinals wide outs, one of the crucial aspects of the game will be how the Arizona secondary does against the Steeler passing game. They didn’t play well during the season, registering only 13 picks and allowing 233 yards per game but made up with that with 8 INTs already this postseason. They smartly drafted dynamic corner Dominique Rogers-Cromartie who is having an excellent playoffs and is the CB to be wary of. Antrel Rolle was an inconsistent corner so they moved him to free safety where he’s done much better playing with Adrian Wilson, who is a good safety but wildly overrated by many as he struggles in coverage more than given credit for. Just like running the ball is crucial to keep time of possession in the Steelers’ favor, not turning the ball over is absolutely crucial. You cannot give Warner and Co any extra chances so it’s imperative Big Ben not pull a Neil O’Donnell in this game.

He should be working with his full compliment of wide receivers. Hines Ward practiced yesterday and supposedly had no issues with the knee he injured in the AFC Championship game. His presence is so vital because he’s the best 3rd down receiver in the league and one of the most clutch Big Game Players of this generation. Santonio Holmes has shown game breaking ability in both playoff victories so another huge play from him would go a long way to helping the Black and Gold’s cause. Watch for Nate Washington to possibly get loose for one of his patented long bombers. Let’s just hope he catches it. And of course TE Heath Miller will be a huge factor as Big Ben’s safety valve if Hines proves more injured/ineffective than the team is letting on.

What more can I say? The Pittsburgh Steelers face off against the Arizona Cardinals for the Vince Lombardi Trophy. One team is looking to build upon a legacy of success while the other is trying to emerge from the darkness to the bright shining light of victory for the first time. In a season where the Steelers faced seemingly insurmountable challenges every week, one might say it’s a great accomplishment to make it this far. But this is Pittsburgh and we are Steeler Nation so anything less than a Steel City Six Pack will not do. Given the character and resolve of Mike Tomlin and his team, I’m prepared for a happy ending to be written to this epic season.