There’s an old saying:  Once is a fluke, twice is a pattern.

For the second time in less than a year, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is being accused of sexual assault.   Yesterday afternoon, TMZ broke the story of Big Ben’s involvement in an incident which occurred at a nightclub in Milledgeville, Georgia.  The story has since been reported by the national media after being confirmed by the Georgia police.  The alleged victim, a 20-year-old female student from Georgia College & State University, was treated and released from the hospital on Friday morning.

The Steelers say they are currently “gathering facts on the incident.”  Meanwhile, Ben’s weasel agent released a statement where they took the high road by launching a preemptive attack on the victim by saying, “Obviously, given the prior accusation against Ben, we are skeptical of motive, but we will continue to cooperate with everyone involved.” Ben was evidently interviewed by the police some time Friday afternoon.   No charges have been filed as of yet.

The details of the night in question are still a bit hazy at this point. What seems to be clear is Ben and “a group of friends” (including teammate Willie Colon apparently) started the night drinking heavily at a bar called “The Brick” until about 1:30 a.m.   They then moved on to another club, Capital City, where the incident allegedly occurred. Roethlisberger’s accuser claims she was in the ladies room when Ben entered and proceeded to assault her.

As with the Andrea McNulty case, I’ll withhold final judgement until more details emerge.  But I think this incident firmly establishes once and for all that what I’ve been saying all along is absolutely true:  Ben Roethlisberger is a dick.

Using simple logic, the female student wouldn’t go to the hospital seeking treatment unless there was some sort of physical proof she had been with Ben.  So even if we are to believe Ben’s weasel agent’s inference that this woman is a lying skank who is trying to cash in on having sex with Ben, we are still left with the fact that Ben spent the night getting hammered and then banged a groupie in the ladies restroom.  Great behavior there, Ben.   You make Skippy look like a choir boy.

And of course if this allegation is true, then you have to take another look at the McNulty case.  Sure the woman seems to be a little off her rocker but being weird doesn’t automatically make you a liar.   Honestly, the fact the vast majority of his Steeler teammates can’t stand this idiot should’ve been a red flag from the get-go.  When a person of such outstanding character as Hines Ward dislikes you, that should tell you something.  Regardless of the outcome of either sexual assault allegation, Ben Roethlisberger has once again brought disgrace to himself, his profession, and most importantly to the Steelers organization.

Catching up with some Pittsburgh Steelers related news I may have missed while digging myself out from Snowmageddon ’10.

Super Bowl X MVP and gubernatorial washout Lynn Swann has challenged The Bus to a ten pin smackdown at next year’s Super Bowl. Swann, serving as event host for the Fifth Annual NFL Charities Super Bowl Celebrity Bowling Classic, welcomed more than 40 ex-NFLers in Miami to a benefit for the NFL’s Youth Education Town (YET) initiative.  What is it with Steelers and bowling?  It can’t be a Pittsburgh thing because I haven’t been to McKnight Lanes in fifteen years.  Did our favorite rotund halfback accept the challenge from our Hall of Fame wide receiver?

Stay tuned!

Speaking of Hall of Famers, beloved Defensive Coordinator Dick LeBeau was finally selected for the Hall of Fame. Of course, he’s going in as a DB and not a coach but let’s not quibble over details.  After over fifty years of distinguished service to the NFL, nobody is more deserving.   Also making it is longtime Redskins All-Pro OG and Pitt legend Russ Grimm.   Hope this takes some of the sting off the whole “You’re the Steelers new head coach!  Oh wait, no you’re not!” thing, Russ.

Ben Roethlisberger is a dick, chapter 24. The New York Post ran this story about Big Ben leaving a Chicago night club.   Evidently, he dropped some cash on the ground, then gave a lady the stuck up jock treatment when she tried to return it.  Given Ben’s recent history, I don’t blame him for being leery of strange women.  Plus, he was probably fresh out of Rohypnol.

Ben Roethlisberger is awesome, chapter 5. Yahoo Sports has an article up proclaiming Big Ben a better QB than Peyton Manning.  Seriously.  I’m not going to get into this debate again since your opinion is going to be influenced by whether you’re a biased homer or a reasonable and realistic football fan.  I will say this, who cares if you’re the most clutch playoff performer in NFL history if YOU CAN’T GET YOUR DAMN TEAM TO THE POSTSEASON IN THE FIRST PLACE!

The AFC Champion Indianapolis Colts returned home to a massive throng of… Eleven fans?   ELEVEN?  I guess they had better things to do, like cow-tipping or taking advantage of that free Grand Slam breakfast.  File this sad display away in your memory banks for the next time some uneducated moron claims Steeler Nation is filled with bandwagon jumpers.

The Steelers sign training camp fodder. First, they plucked LB Derrick Doggett from the CFL.  Doggett was a special teams ace for that Mickey Mouse league up north.  I don’t know why they bother since he’ll need to beat out James Harrison or that nincompoop Tomlin will cut him because he “doesn’t believe in keeping strictly special teams players on the main roster.”   They signed two more guys yesterday. Brandon London is a 6-4 WR who was a practice squadder with the Giants but spent 2009 out of football.  Limas Sweed had better spend the off-season playing with radioactive spiders.  They also signed former Pitt punter Adam Graessle, who kicked last year in the UFL.   Teams usually bring multiple Ps, Ks, and QBs to camp so they can practice against real life people.   Don’t worry, ladies, Dreamy Daniel Sepulveda isn’t on the chopping block.

Which reminds me, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Last year, I turned my blog over to one of our most frequent and insightful commenters, Robyn, and she delivered a great post on the animal magnetism (or lack thereof) of Skippy Reed.  If any of my hundreds of sassy female readers would like to give it a shot this year, drop me a line at this address or post in the comments below.

Finally, a plea to you, my dear readers. I don’t ask for much.  In fact, I give you countless hours of high quality entertainment for the bargain basement low price of free several times per week.  But now I am asking for something.   Sean over at Sean’s Ramblings is hosting his 2nd Annual Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament.   Last year, I was bounced in the Sweet Sixteen by the tournament’s eventual winner, PensBlog.  While I have no delusions of grandeur, I would like to improve upon last year’s performance.   So please, take a second to click this link, scroll down about a quarter of the way (to the Ironhead Heyward Division), and drop a vote or two or three for the most super duper spiffy Steelers blog on the interwebs.   Thank you.

At last!  After 25 years, the Pittsburgh Steelers finally had one for the thumb.

And they did it the hard way.

Things started badly as both Duce and Bus were hurt in the preseason.  That meant starting RB duties fell to a 2nd year undrafted free agent by the name of Willie Parker.  Fast Willie introduced himself by rushing for 161 yards in his first game.  He added 111 more in his second.  The heir apparent to Bettis was finally found.

Still, the team struggled.  Big Ben battled injuries necessitating two starts from his backup, Tommy Maddox.   The team lost both games with Maddox playing terribly.  An overtime loss against Jacksonville saw him throw two interceptions during regulation then fumble a snap in overtime when the team was in game winning FG range.  The defense forced a punt so Maddox took matters into his own hands by throwing his third INT, a Pick Six which ended the game.

Steeler fans dumped garbage on his lawn and taunted his two young children after that game in what was the only time I was ever embarrassed to be a member of Steeler Nation.

As of week 13, the Steelers were 7-5 and on the outside looking in at the playoffs.  The team then reeled off four straight wins beginning with a defeat of the Bears where Jerome Bettis clobbered supposed All-Pro LB Brian Urlacher. They finished the season 11-5 which was only good for the sixth seed.

I’m sure we all know what happened next.  Kimo von Oelhoffen went Kobra Kai on Carson Palmer, sweeping the leg and tearing his ACL.   The Steelers beat the #3 seed Bengals to move on to the #1 seeded Colts.  They thoroughly outplayed Indy but only Big Ben making The Tackle on Bus’s monumentally ill-timed fumble kept Indy from taking the lead.  Karma balanced things out when Indy’s kicker missed the game tying FG.   The Steelers then traveled out to Denver and knocked off the #2 seeded Broncos.

In Super Bowl XL, Pittsburgh faced the NFC’s #1 seed, the Seattle Seahawks.  The signature play was provided on FWP’s 75 yard TD run early in the second half.  However, MVP honors fell to Hines Ward, who caught 5 passes for 123 yards and a TD thrown by the best QB on the field that day, WR Antwaan Randle El.  After fourteen long years, Bill Cowher finally won the big one.

Jerome Bettis announced his retirement following the game, a fitting conclusion to the career of one of the all-time greatest Steelers.

2006

The year got off to a bad start when Ben Roethlisberger was sideswiped by some nearsighted old bat while riding his motorcycle.   Ben suffered life threatening injuries because he was too stupid to wear a helmet.  His entire face had to be reconstructed with screws and Elmer’s Glue.    To add insult to injury, a week before the start of the season, he also underwent an emergency appendectomy.

More controversy raged during the preseason when Bettis, in his new role of NBC commentator, mentioned that Cowher told him he wanted to retire after winning the Super Bowl.  Evidently he felt he owed it to his players and the Rooneys to come back and defend the title.   However, he was burnt out from 15 years of coaching and with a new deal not on the horizon, it became more and more apparent this was his swan song with the Steelers.

The team won their first game with Charlie Batch filling in capably.  Then they rushed Ben back for a Monday nighter in Jacksonville.   Ben looked horrible and despite a superior defensive effort the team lost 9-0.  Between the appendix operation and brain damage from the motorcycle accident, Ben was a shadow of himself most of the season.  They also lost to a Raiders team which would only win two lousy games that year.  At 2-6 at the mid-season point, hopes for a Super Bowl repeat were gone.

Still, the team rallied like champions and went 6-2 down the stretch.  Playing the last few weeks under Cowher’s mantra of “Misery loves company,” they provided a little of that misery to the Bengals in the final game of the season.   Cincy needed to win to make the postseason while the Steelers had no motivation but to send their coach out a winner.  Which they did thanks to a 67 yard TD in OT by Santonio Holmes.

2007

Little known defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin was introduced as the Steelers new head coach.  He immediately established his authority by refusing to let Casey Hampton practice or play until he lost weight.  The veterans may not have liked him but he certainly got their attention.  After the team faded badly down the stretch, some players grumbled it was a result of such a tough training camp.

Boo hoo.

The defense lost a ton of swagger when Joey Porter was released during the preseason.  Peezy was a controversial and colorful character but he was also a ferocious linebacker in the true Steeler tradition.  Of course his replacement, James Harrison, was no slouch either.  In fact, had Joey not gotten thrown out of a game against Cleveland in pregame warmups, Silverback may have never gotten a chance to show the NFL what he could do.

The team roared out of the gate to a 9-3 record.  Then safety Anthony Smith issued his infamous “guarantee” that they’d beat the Patriots.  Tom Brady responded by torturing him for two long TD passes then talking trash.   Smith got burned the next week as his big mouth wrote checks his meager abilities couldn’t cash and the team quickly lost two straight.

Things went further downhill when DE Aaron Smith was lost for the season.  When he went down, the Steelers run defense went right along with him.   Meanwhile, FWP broke his leg in the second to last game of the year.   Parker was leading the NFL in rushing at the time and losing him pretty much wrecked our offense.

The team was one-and-done against Jacksonville.   They fell behind early but mounted a comeback which was repeatedly sabotaged by Tomlin’s boneheaded insistence on going for 2 pt conversions.  Still, who knows what would’ve happened if the refs hadn’t missed about four holding penalties on David Garrard‘s first down scramble that set Jacksonville up to kick the winning FG.   The NFL director of officials apologized for the botch job after the game.   But I thought the calls always went the Steelers way?

2008

Since we’re only one year removed, I’ll spare you a detailed recap.  Suffice it to say, this year featured one of the best single season defensive efforts in history.  Dick LeBeau and his men were either first or second in every major defensive category.  Time and time again, Blitzburgh would create a big turnover or stop the opposition cold in their tracks.  Combined with clutch last-second heroics from Big Ben, the season was about as exciting as any you’ll ever see.

Unfortunately, one very important member of Steeler Nation wasn’t here to see it.  The year began on a sad note when the great Myron Cope passed away.  The man who invented the Terrible Towel was surely looking down with an emphatic “YOI!  DOUBLE YOI!” as the Steelers tore through the hardest schedule given any team in the past 30 years.

In the playoffs, the Steelers faced the Ratbirds for a third time.  Three wins against our most hated enemy is nice enough but doing so for the right to play in the Super Bowl made it all the sweeter.   In the big game, the Steelers faced the man who was their offensive coordinator in Super Bowl XL.   Ken Whisenhunt and his Arizona Cardinals were a surprise entrant but they were a worthy opponent.  The two teams played what is widely regarded as the most exciting Super Bowl ever.  Only a last minute toe-dragging catch by MVP Santonio Holmes ensured that the season end on a high note.  Get it, HIGH note?

2009

Which brings us to this year.  Of course, no post Super Bowl off-season is complete without some Ben Roethlisberger drama.   This time, it came in the form of a rape accusation by a cowboy hat wearing desk clerk out in Reno.

To further incur the Football Gods wrath, the folks at EA Sports put Troy Polamalu on the cover of their video game.  The Madden Curse struck immediately as Troy was injured in the Steelers very first game.  He came back briefly but this season has been a total write-off as far as he’s concerned.

Still, this squad got off to an excellent 6-2 start.  Then the wheels fell off.  Losses to three of the worst teams in the league mixed with a sweep by the Bengals.  Ben was concussed in an OT loss to KC.   Hines Ward went on national tv and called his QB a sissy.  Tomlin issued threats and ultimatums which his team ignored.  The defense couldn’t hold a lead while the offense repeatedly failed in the red zone.  Ryan Clark accused the 400,000 fans who came to cheer him on just 10 months earlier of being “fairweather.”   Losses mounted until the streak reached five straight.  Only a slight rebound toward the end of the year has kept the team’s slim playoff hopes alive.

It’s looking like the decade will end much like it began.   With the Steelers on the edge of greatness, searching for that missing player or two that will put them back into serious championship contention.

Still, two Super Bowl championships in four years and multiple playoff games made this an exciting time to be a Steeler fan.  Without a doubt this was the best decade for the Black and Gold since the 1970′s.   I’m sure we appreciate this team giving us memories we’ll carry for a lifetime.  Here’s looking forward to more yet to come!

]]> http://nicepickcowher.com/2009/12/31/a-steeler-decade-in-review-part-2/feed/ 2 http://nicepickcowher.com/2009/11/11/big-ben-shoots-guns-doesnt-assault-women/ http://nicepickcowher.com/2009/11/11/big-ben-shoots-guns-doesnt-assault-women/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:45:33 +0000 chris http://nicepickcowher.com/?p=1789 Last night, the ESPN E:60 television program presented a fantastic piece on Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It was easily the best story done on Big Ben to date. At a little under 10 minutes, I strongly encourage you to give it a watch. It’s definitely worth your time. Of course, people will probably key [...]

Big Ben Shoots Guns, Doesn’t Assault Women - Nice Pick, Cowher - Nice Pick, Cowher - A Pittsburgh Steelers Fan Site - News, Blogs, Opinion and more.

With no game this Sunday, I’m forced to write about something else. What do guys think about when they’re not thinking about sports? Food, obviously. Since my recipe for Five Alarm Chili isn’t that interesting, I should probably pick something else. Then I remembered my posts on the Ben Roethlisberger lawsuit always seem popular.

Which makes sense what with the Male Triangle of Interest being made up of food, sports, and women. The only problem is there isn’t anything new to report on the Roethlisberger case. The judge denied a motion to dismiss but all that means is there is the barest minimum of evidence to warrant a hearing. So what else is there to say?

Then I read about an ESPN baseball commentator by the name of Steve Phillips. He was recently fired for having an affair with an underling half his age. We only know about it because the girl went batshit insane stalking him, texting him, writing letters to his wife where she casually mentions the shape of his penis, etc. About a month ago, David Letterman was involved in a similar scandal. Evidently, he was using his production staff as a personal brothel and when somebody found out, they wanted money in exchange for their silence. The Roethlisberger lawsuit is like a combination of those two. In his case, the woman, who was unstable to begin with, went totally crazy after he slept with her and when no satisfaction was to be had, she decided to sue him for money.

What is it with people nowadays? Can’t celebrities take advantage of their fame, wealth, and power for sexual gain? Clearly, something needs to be done. And since I don’t care about those other two assclowns, I just want to help Big Ben. I’m eminently qualified to give relationship advice, having seen Twilight in the theaters twice and read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus cover-to-cover.

So here are five handy tips for Ben (or any other Steeler) when it comes to having sex without a lawsuit.

1) Go for a woman who doesn’t really like you. I don’t mean like she’s a Browns fan or something.  I mean, she’s not all that impressed by you or what you do.  I realize this sort of defeats the purpose because if you weren’t a rich famous athlete, you’d probably have a hard a time getting laid just like every other tall, goofy-looking doofus.  But this criteria is vitally important.  You don’t want a woman with the “I want to be the next Deanna Favre or Brenda Warner and already have the title of my book picked out.” look in her eyes.

2)  Go for the girl who has a career.  A real career, not desk clerk at a hotel.  Preferably who makes more than 50K a year.  Career women are usually pretty busy.  They don’t appreciate when you do things like waste her time or try to establish an emotional connection or talk.

3) She’s got a boyfriend or husband of her own.  I know this sounds terrible but if they already have somebody they’re less likely to want a relationship with you.  These women are more likely to keep the hook-up secret.  Unless of course you’re on their Cheat List (every couple has a list of one or two people that they are permitted to cheat with if ever given the chance.  Mine’s Alyssa Milano), then they can tell their bf/husband who’ll probably think it’s cool.  In any case, they’re just using you for sex.  As long as you don’t have any lame hang-ups like morals or a conscience, that’s a pretty sweet deal.

4) She’s the team bicycle.  As in “everybody gets a ride.”  As in, a groupie.  Obviously, the bonus here is she knows the rules, is okay with them, and has no interest in your life.  A few diseases, maybe, but no interest.  And she likely has a few uses for the Terrible Towel that would make Myron Cope scream “Double Yoi!”

5)  She’s sane.  Do you know why so many guys went to see movies like Fatal Attraction or Basic Instinct?  No, it wasn’t for a three second crotch shot.  It’s because crazy chicks are hot.  Given the choice between safe and sweet or off-the-rails, deep down most guys prefer the latter.

Unfortunately, the level of nuttiness seems proportional to the level of fame.  An ordinary schmuck like myself might date a crazy chick and end up with forty five cuss-filled messages on my voicemail and his car all keyed up.  A famous athlete dates one and they end up shot in the head.

Rest in peace, Steve McNair.

My point here is that even though we, as men, are wired to seek out danger and excitement, you must deny those impulses when it comes to women.  The level of risk doesn’t match the level of reward.  Unless of course a night of passion with the Cowgirl is worth $375,000 to you.

So there you go, Ben.  Print this out, pass it to your teammates, paste it up in the locker room even.  You got yourself in one fine mess, this will help to prevent it ever happening again.  Happy hunting, my man.