Speaking of former Steelers cut loose, Fast Willie Parker was cut by the Redskins.  Looks like they discovered what we saw last year:  He’s now Medium Speed Willie.  Still, running backs drop like flies during the season so a veteran back up can usually find a job (Does the name Najeh Davenport ring any bells?).  Here’s hoping FWP latches on somewhere because that would be a sad ending to what was a short but glorious career.

Now, let’s talk the Steelers.  Proving that Bruce Arians is indeed bringing the Flying Circus to town, the Steelers kept six wide receivers while keeping only four running backs and zero fullbacks.  David Johnson, a FB/TE hybrid will be the blocking back in I formations.  Arians will also use the Pony Backfield, which is when Issac Redman lines up at fullback and the hand-off can go to either him or Mendenhall.  The Steelers used this formation a lot in the Chuck Noll days with Rocky and Franco so it’s nice to see it back in the playbook even though I’d like a true blocking fullback on the roster.

Rookie Antonio Brown will handle returns with Stefan Logan getting cut.  Logan, who has been scooped up by the Detroit Lions, was a victim of being a specialist who wasn’t very special.  He was brought in as the next Devin Hester and despite setting a single season Steelers record for return yardage, didn’t return any for TDs which soured the staff on him.  Part of me wonders how he’d do returning kicks on a team with halfway decent special teams blocking.

Brown showed potential as a receiver and did an okay job returning kicks so I understand the move, although he also made a couple really dumb decisions in the third game (not bringing out a kick in the end zone, fair catching a ball inside his 5) so let’s hope his youth and inexperience don’t flare up too often.  Arnaz Battle was also kept so he’d likely be the fallback option if Brown fails.   Battle is an all-around good special teams guy so it’s nice to see Mike Tomlin valuing that this season.

Cut day was a bloodbath for the Draft Class of 2009.  Guard Kraig Urbik, defensive lineman Sunny Harris, cornerback Joe Burnett, and fan favorite running back Frank “The Tank” Summers were all axed.  Harris is a bit surprising only because the team lost him off the practice squad last season then eagerly signed him back when given the chance.  The Tank was a converted fullback who had primarily been a running back in college.  He never really adapted to the position change and as a result has shown pretty much nothing.

Burnett is a bit of a surprise.  He saw game action last year (rare for a Steelers rookie) and, admittedly, did not play well.   But considering how lousy our secondary has been, it’s a bit odd they’d give up on him after only one year.  Rookie Crezdon Butler came on strong in the final two preseason games so they evidently liked his upside more than Burnett’s.  And, once again, the Steelers kept a special teams ace, Anthony Madison, who is a way below-average cornerback but is one of the best gunners in the league so I commend Tomlin for learning from past mistakes in that area.

Finally, Justin Hartwig was cut.  First round pick Maurkice Pouncey was expeced to play guard for a year since the center has to learn all the protection calls but he caught on faster than expected.  Plus, Hartwig’s play has really fallen off in the past year.  He looked perfectly capable in 2008 when the Steelers went to the Super Bowl but he was constantly getting pushed around last year.  I thought it might be due to injuries at both guard positions but he still looked terrible with the first team offense this presason.  With Pouncey blowing guys off the ball in games and at practice, it became a no-brainer to stick him at his natural position and bid Hartwig good-bye.   We’ve been asking for a revamped offensive line and this year we have it with three new starters (Pouncey, Flozell Adams at RT, and Trai Essex at RG) from what we had a year ago.

And those, ladies and gentlemen, are your 2010 Pittsburgh Steelers.

Time of death was 4:02 P.M.

That was when a desperate last second Hail Mary attempt hit Limas Sweed in the worst possible place – his hands – and fell harmlessly to the turf, dooming the Pittsburgh Steelers to their fourth consecutive loss.  The Oakland Raiders, who came in as a two touchdown underdog, handed the defending Super Bowl champs a stunning 27-24 defeat.  This loss effectively ends the Steelers season.  While technically there are four games left and technically there is a complicated series of events which would still land Pittsburgh in the playoffs, it’s time to take off the Black and Gold colored glasses.  This is not a playoff caliber team.

In fact, right now this team isn’t very good period.

Let’s once again start at the beginning.  Which is actually appropriate because how the game started was a perfect example of everything they’ve done wrong this year.   The Steelers finally got something positive from their special teams when Stefan Logan took the opening kickoff back 83 yards.  Facing the worst run defense in the NFL, what do you think we did?   Go on, take a wild guess.

If you said, “Came out in a four WR/no RB passing formation” give yourself a cookie.

Naturally, we threw on two of our first three offensive plays.  All plays in the red zone, mind you.  And naturally these two passes, with a token run sandwiched in between, netted us a grand total of five yards.  So naturally we ended up settling for a Skippy Reed FG.   That’s the Bruce Arians way.

The ensuing kickoff was short as all of Skippy’s kicks were yesterday.  Evidently, the Steelers new plan for covering kicks is to semi-pooch it and just hope somebody makes a tackle.  In this case, Gary Russell (yes, the ex-Steeler whose best return move seemed to be “catch the ball and dive straight ahead”) eluded two or three Steelers for a 34 yard return.  The Raiders managed to get a Sebastian Janikowski FG out of the ensuing drive.

In the second quarter, the Steelers struck in lightning fashion.  Ben Roethlisberger lasered a ball down the middle to his frenemy Hines Ward for a 27 yard gain.  On the very next play, he dropped a beautiful pass over Santonio Holmes‘ right shoulder for a 34 yard touchdown.  Two plays, 61 yards, fifty-seven seconds.

But once again, the Raiders showed they weren’t going down without a fight.  Pittsburgh native QB Bruce Gradkowski directed a 53 yard drive that would end up milking over five minutes off the clock.  He started with a 16 yard pass to Zach Miller.  Then they were gifted 15 more yards when Lawrence Timmons face-masked Gradkowski on a blitz.  The biggest play was a 22 yard pass to Johnny Lee Higgins where…  I’ll let you guess what cornerback got his feet twisted up and blew the coverage.   The Raiders made it all the way to the Steelers 26 but were held to a FG thanks to idiotic playcalling on behalf of Oakland.   Gee, let’s have our RB try to throw a TD pass!!!

Halftime came with the score 10-6.  Now, what I haven’t mentioned yet is the Steelers should have had about 28 points at this point.  I already explained how the first drive was a failure.  Later in the first quarter, Arians discovered that the Raiders had a terrible run defense because he actually called a few rushing plays.  I think cavemen took less time to discover the wheel.  Rashard Mendenhall (20 carries 103 yards) took a handoff and rumbled 60 yards.  His next three carries only netted 9 and 3/4 yards to the Oakland 5.

So Mike Tomlin decided to channel his inner Belichick and go for it.  The call?  A quarterback sneak by Roethlisberger.  No, don’t give the ball to your 235 pound #1 draft pick RB.  Don’t give the ball to multi-time 1,000 yard rusher Fast Willie Parker.   Don’t give it to usually dependable Mewelde Moore.   Ask your recently concussed quarterback to dive headfirst into a solid wall of humanity.   Yeah, that’s what you want to do.

To add insult to stupidity, the Raiders stopped Ben in his tracks.   Turnover on downs.  But that wasn’t the only failure Big Ben was to experience on Sunday.  In the second quarter, the Steelers went back to their Flying Circus (against the worst rush defense in the NFL, did I mention that yet?)  They managed to work the ball all the way down to the Oakland 16.  At which time, Ben decided to throw into triple coverage and was predictably picked off.

So let’s recap this tremendous display of first half offensive firepower by Bruce Arians, Ben Roethlisberger, the guy who thinks Ben is a sissy, the Dirk Diggler lookalike, and some other guys who barely ever touch the ball.   First down at the Oakland 18.  Field goal.  First down at the Oakland 14.  Turnover on downs.   First down at the Oakland 16.  Interception.

ARE YOU F#@KING KIDDING ME?!?!?

The second half started and out of nowhere Arians decided to impersonate a competent offensive coordinator.  He gave the Raiders a steady dose of Mendenhall which served to control the clock.   At one point, Mendy ran the ball on five consecutive plays and I began to believe in alien abduction.  By controlling the time of possession and keeping the defense off the field, the Steelers effectively ran out the quarter without any points being scored.

Then came the fourth quarter where the game became the live-action equivalent of Madden Football.  Oakland started with a nice 11 play 67 yard touchdown drive which put them ahead 13-10.  Another good kickoff return by Logan was followed by a 57 yard bomb to Holmes.  Mendenhall bulled his way in to the end zone from 3 yards out.  Then, in an absolutely stunning display of ineptitude, the secondary completely blew the coverage in allowing somebody named Louis Murphy to get wide open for a 75 yard touchdown pass.

A SEVENTY-FIVE YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS.   Thrown by Bruce Gradkowski.   Caught by Louis Murphy.  Yes, the Origami Curtain was alive and well.

Ike Taylor was the man who was roasted like a chestnut over an open fire on the play although I don’t know if he was entirely to blame.  Don’t get me wrong, Ike had an awful game but it definitely looked like he was expecting a safety to be out there with him.  Considering Tyrone Carter and Ryan Clark were out of position or missing tackles all day long,  missing an assignment is definitely within the realm of possibility.

Ben answered by leading the Steelers 80 yards on 7 plays, tossing a go-ahead TD to Hines.   Hines actually got away with one because he facemasked the CB to get wide open on his fade route.   After the kickoff, the Raiders found themselves at their 12 yard line with two minutes left in the game.  And being down 24-20, they had to score a TD.   In the bag, right?

Oh, dear readers, no lead is safe with the Origami Curtain.  They had only just begun to fold.  The first calamity occurred on a 19 yard pass to Murphy.   William Gay had him wrapped up but Ryan Mundy attempted to spear him for good measure.  Instead, he ended up taking out his own man.   Now, I’m clearly not a fan of Will.i.am.  Some might even call me a Gay Basher.  But I want to see him on the bench for the right reason, because he sucks, not because of injury.  Thankfully, he walked off the field although apparently did suffer a concussion.

No word on whether Hines considers him a sissy.

Anyway, out of the oven came rookie Joe Burnett to take his place.  He immediately showed us all that he’d fit in PERFECTLY with this secondary by dropping an INT that hit him right in the chest.  As soon as that happened, I knew the game was lost.  But, like when you slow down as you pass a car crash, I kept watching to see how the inevitable end would come.

I soon had my answer.  On the very next play, Gradkowski threw up a duck that hung in the air like a punt.   I mean, it must’ve floated up there for a good four or five seconds.   Mitch Berger didn’t kick’em that high.   While three other Steelers stood around with thumbs up their asses, Louis Murphy outjumped Burn Me Ike to come down with a 23 yard gain.  Do these guys know you can push a receiver out of bounds?   Do they care?

On the next play, Mundy decided he wanted to spear an Oakland player instead.  Unfortunately, the WR was already down when he came flying in.   So his stupidity cost the Steelers 15 more yards on a personal foul.  Not content with taking out our starting CB then cheapshotting an opponent, Mundy completed the Trifecta of Suck by leaving his man alone in the end zone when Gradkowski scrambled around.

Touchdown, Raiders.

Game, Raiders.

Season over, Steelers.  It was fun while it lasted.

On any given week, I receive a number of messages from people looking to promote something. Most I simply ignore because there’s no benefit for either my readers or this site. Some help keep NPC alive by becoming advertisers. Others, like Crocs or M&Ms, agree to sponsor a contest in exchange for a little publicity. You’d be surprised at the variety of companies I’ve talked with over the past 3 years.

However, Playboy is one word I never expected to see in a subject heading.

I was contacted in regards to Playboy’s 38th annual NFL Preview, which is in their October issue currently on sell online at www.playboydigital.com or at your local newsstand. They asked me to take a look at the story and share some thoughts with my readers. I was a little dubious but impressed by the fact they’ve covered the NFL for thirty-eight years. To think, when they started writing about football, it was back in the dark ages before the Brazilian bikini wax had been invented.

Besides, it’s the first time I could truthfully say I read it for the articles.

Thumbing through the story, I was pleasantly surprised by the coverage, which was a good read, equal to what you’d find in a sports magazine, except the Shannon Twins in bodypaint are a bit more pleasant to look at than Peter King.  Then I got to the post-season predictions.  My blood pressure began to rise while the slight taste of bile welled up in throat.  I shook with anger which is almost physically impossible for a man to do when he’s in the vicinity of naked women.  That’s why strip clubs are the happiest places on earth.

This is what I saw:

“AFC North Champion: Baltimore Ravens

AFC Wild Cards: Pittsburgh Steelers,  Indianapolis Colts”

They predicted the RAVENS will win the North?  The team we beat in humiliating fashion not once, not twice, but THRICE last season?  I can understand picking the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl.  Tommy Brady is a dreamboat who has probably impregnated several Playmates through the hypnotic power of his chin dimple so that makes sense.  But the Ratbirds will beat out the Steelers?  WTF?!?

I was astounded by this affront to Steeler Nation.  Then I noticed the piece was written by one Rick Gosselin.  A quick google search revealed Gosselin’s day job is a columnist for the Dallas Morning News.  A-HA!  Now it makes sense.  The taste in my mouth quickly subsided as I simultaneously realized what Rick must have been tasting when he wrote the article:  sour grapes.

Here’s hoping Playboy allows the Shannon twins to handle the predictions next time.  I have no idea their qualifications but they’re probably unbiased and Kristina clearly has excellent choice in football teams as well as uniform numbers.  By the way, I would definitely like to see the bodypainting fad catch on since we don’t have cheerleaders and the practice has been dominated by obnoxious frat-boys and 300 pound beer bellied lunatics for far far too long.  Leave it up to Steeler Nation to bring sexy back.

The 53 man roster has finally been finalized. I know I promised an update on Friday, except I stupidly assumed the press conference scheduled by head coach Mike Tomlin was to be about the cuts.  Instead, he decided to announce he would make the announcement on Saturday.  Well played, Tomlin.

Anyway, let’s take a look at some of the notable additions and subtractions from the roster. You can find the complete list here. Without further ado, here are your brand new 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers:

Stefan Logan – Nicknamed “Joystick” by his teammates (shocking that wasn’t already taken by Santonio Holmes), Logan is by far the most exciting off-season acquisition for the Steelers.  This refugee from the CFL had some absolutely EPIC returns during the preseason. Logan’s final numbers were 5 kickoff returns for 185 yards and 9 punt returns for 191 yards and a touchdown.  If he can duplicate even a portion of that success during the season, we’ll all be thrilled.

Keiwan Ratliff - Veteran CB who provides some experience and depth to a very young group of defensive backs. Will.i.am Gay is only in his 3rd season (1st as a starter) and two of our backups are rookies. Another thing which helped him make the team is the fact he can play both CB and safety. Ratliff was a high 2nd round pick back in 2004 and it’d be nice if his play finally matches up to his potential.

Shaun McDonald – Another veteran who provides depth to a team fairly loaded at the WR position. McDonald caught a ton of balls during the preseason, demonstrating he is still a top notch possession receiver. He’ll be #4 on the depth chart, playing in a slot as an underneath option in a four WR formation. Limas Sweed has seemingly won the #3 receiver spot but McDonald is great insurance to have in case he struggles or one of the guys ahead of him suffers an injury.

Draft Class of 2009 - Defensive rookies seldom play their first season (Troy Polamalu only played special teams his rookie year) so don’t expect to see any of them this year.  Still, first rounder DE Ziggy Hood looked great and I think has a great career ahead of him. DBs Joe Burnett and Keenan Lewis showed a ton of potential even though two rookie DBs on your bench is a little scary.  OL Kraig Urbik showed little but our offensive line depth is paper thin so he stays.  Frank “The Tank” Summers also didn’t show much (he was injured early in camp) but there were flashes of being a good blocker so he’s now the team’s lone fullback. TE/FB hybrid David Johnson, a 7th round pick, made the team thanks to some decent blocking and an unfortunate season-ending injury to TE/FB Sean McHugh.

Now, let’s pour a forty on the ground and bid a fond farewell to the following players:

Carey Davis – The man who beat out Dan Kreider for the FB job in 2007 has thankfully been given the boot.  Clearly, the compromising photos he had of Mike Tomlin at a Furry Convention must have been lost in a fire or something. Davis won the job because he could supposedly catch, run, and block. In three years, he’s been barely used as a lead blocker, showed no ability as a short yardage back, and caught maybe a dozen or so balls. Good riddance.

Bruce Davis – Bad day to have the last name “Davis.” A UCLA grad (in other words, a douche), Davis was a third round pick in 2008. They projected him as a pass rushing LB but he never showed enough speed to beat anybody nor the strength to overpower them. Mark this one down as a bust and let’s move on.

Anthony Madison – Madison was a free agent this summer who was re-signed by the Steelers. I think they hoped with the departure of Bryant McFadden and the aging of Deshea Townshend, he might move up our CB depth chart. Unfortunately, we drafted two DBs and signed another (see above) and all of them played better than AMad during the preseason. Madison’s biggest contribution to the Steelers was as a gunner on special teams. To be fair, he was very good at covering kicks the past couple years. However, the Steelers couldn’t justify keeping a special teams specialist over guys who can cover kicks AND play their positions.

Finally, there are a couple notable names who did not make the main roster but cleared waivers and are now Practice Squad fodder.

A.Q. Shipley – One of only two 2009 draft picks to be cut (DE Sonny Harris, claimed by the Carolina Panthers, was the other).  Shipley was given every shot to make the main squad but he’s too undersized to compete at the NFL level.  Since there are many weight training techniques and *ahem* special vitamins athletes can take to bulk up, I guess the Steelers want to keep him around hoping he can eventually put on some size.  Shipley is a local kid and I’m sure we’d all like to see the local kid make the hometown team, even if he did play his college ball at Penn State.

Isaac Redman – The biggest surprise and, with the exception of Joystick, probably the star of the Steelers’ 2009 training camp.  Redman, an undrafted rookie, led the team with 145 rushing yards and three touchdowns this preseason.  He also put on a legendary performance during goal-line drills, scoring seven times against the Steelers first team defense to earn the nickname “Redzone” Redman.  Between Skippy, Big Snack, Silverback, and now Joystick, the Steelers lead the NFL in cool nicknames as well as Lombardi Trophies.

Hopefully some of the names mentioned here will help lead us to another.

President Barack Obama met with our World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers on Thursday. He immediately displayed his folksy charm by reading some lame prepared remarks, then continued to push his populist agenda by putting the Steelers to work preparing USO care packages. Not that I have anything but the deepest respect for our troops serving overseas but isn’t it kind of tacky to invite the Super Bowl champions over to salute their accomplishments then turn that platform into a lecture on civic duty? This isn’t elementary school for crying out loud.

Conspicuous by his absence was 2008 NFL Defensive Player of the Year and author of the greatest defensive play in Super Bowl history, linebacker James Harrison.

Now perhaps you’ve been living under a rock the past week or perhaps you’re just blissfully unaware of the swirling controversy. In which case, I envy you. For the past week has seen an almost daily media blitz directed at the Silverback. HOW DARE HE NOT GO! HE’S SPITTING ON THE FLAG! COMMIE!

Okay, perhaps I’m exaggerating just a tad. But for the past week, every media outlet from USA Today to ESPN and every talking head on every talk show has seemingly weighed in with his or her opinion on whether James Harrison should have gone to the White House. Which is great, we do enjoy free speech in this country. However the only opinion I care about in this case is that of, oh I don’t know, JAMES HARRISON?

If the man doesn’t want to visit the White House, he doesn’t have to visit the White House. It doesn’t make him unamerican. It doesn’t make him classless. It doesn’t make him immature. It makes him a man, a big scary quarterback killing man, who made a choice. And I have no idea why that’s such a problem for some people.

This entire situation reminds me of the recent controversy over that bubbleheaded bleach blonde Miss America contestant. She supposedly lost the crown when her answer to the question of supporting gay marriage was decidedly not the politically correct one. Look, I’m not taking one side or the other in that debate but she stated her OPINION. When did that become wrong? So am I to understand people should say things they don’t believe or attend functions they have no interest in just because OTHERS think they should? Huh?

When Silverback declared he was going to miss the festivities, the media went into a frenzy trying to figure out why. Let’s be honest, most athletes are meatheads. They don’t go to college to learn, they go to audition for the NFL. So they don’t always explain themselves well and are seldom deep thinkers. Sticking a microphone in front of them and expecting them to give a sound philosophical answer to something that doesn’t need explaining in the first place is a sure recipe for disaster.

And so it was. Harrison said “This is how I feel — if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, [Obama] would’ve invited Arizona if they had won.” This quote sent the talking heads into overdrive because of the seeming ridiculousness of the logic.

Except it does make sense. Luckily, I speak meathead jock so allow me to translate. Suppose you get an invitation to a wedding or a birthday party. Now suppose instead of the invitation being addressed “Dear Your Name Here” it said “To Whom It May Concern.” Would you still go? The President meets the Super Bowl champion, he doesn’t care what team it is. It’s basically a form letter.  James Harrison doesn’t do form letters.

Then things got more ridiculous when the Rooney Family went into spin control mode. I love the Rooneys but they’re damn lucky the Steelers are the most honorable organization in sports. If they ever had a negative PR issue, they’d be screwed because they are totally inept at handling bad press. They clearly issued an order to their puppets at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (you may know them as “the sports department”) who then came out with a ridiculous story that Harrison was afraid to fly.  Next you’ll tell me that’s really why Tony Kornheiser left Monday Night Football.

The problem with this story is Harrison flies at least 8-12 times per year during the football season. He also flew to Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. And, um, he played one season in NFL Europe. Do you know how long it takes to fly to Europe? Pretty damn long.  Not to mention D.C. is about 5 hours by car. Well, I can make it in 4 but I tend to see speed limits as more suggestions than rules.

Anyway, that bullcrap story created yet another round of speculation. Look, Harrison didn’t go to see George W. Bush when we won back in ’05 so it’s not a political thing. He just didn’t see the point in wasting his time on an empty promotional fluff piece when weights needed lifted and sprints needed, um, sprinted.  He is an adult and he decided he had no desire to visit a place and meet a man he has no reverence for.  And I have no problem with that.

As long as he keeps sacking the quarterback.