On Sunday, the NFL’s fourth best defense faced off against the league’s number two rated unit.   So naturally what resulted was a crazy wide-open game where both teams combined for a shade under 1,000 yards of total offense.   Defense?  We don’t need no stinkin’ defense.   And when the smoke cleared, the Pittsburgh Steelers had ended their five game losing streak with a heartstopping 37-36 victory over the Green Bay Packers.

The tone was set early.  On the Steelers very first play from scrimmage, Ben Roethlisberger rolled right and unleashed a 60 yard TD bomb to rookie Mike Wallace.  The pass was slightly underthrown but DB Jarrett Bush never looked back for the ball allowing Wallace to make a great catch.  I’m sure nobody was happier than offensive coordinator Bruce Arians, who has been doggedly trying to hit this play all year.   By the way, Bush is apparently GB’s version of Will.i.am Gay because the Steelers tortured him all day.

Of course, the thrill of that play was bittersweet.   Once Arians got a taste of passing success, the Flying Circus was off and running.   On our next drive, Ben followed a 28 yarder to Heath Miller with three consecutive misfires.   Green Bay took the ball at their 17 and provided some fireworks of their own.   Aaron Rodgers fired a gorgeous pass over the middle to Donald Driver, who broke free of a feeble tackling attempt by useless Tyrone Carter and outran the rest of our secondary for an 83 yard TD.

The Steelers answered right back with a nice drive mixing Rashard Mendenhall runs with short play action passing.   They were also aided by Green Bay’s sloppy play, as the most penalized team in the NFL got flagged twice on this drive.  A 12 yard catch-and-run by Santonio Holmes set them up with a 1st and goal from the 2.  Mendenhall scored a Bettis-esque  TD by bouncing off hits and bulling over four different Packers to put the Black and Gold up 14-7.

On their next possession, the Steelers caught a huge break.  Rookie LB Clay Matthews blew by LT Max Starks and crashed into Ben just as he was preparing to throw.  Everybody from the Fox commentators to Ben himself seemed to think it was a fumble.   I don’t usually agree with Aikman and Buck since their hatred of the Steelers is ridiculously obvious but even I thought it was a fumble.  However, the only opinion that matters is the ref’s and he called it an incomplete pass.

Starks was horrific yesterday.  Matthews ran right around him like a $10 million human pylon.  I don’t like when people jump down his throat because LT is a very difficult position and he’s been a solid performer but this is the second straight game where he’s crapped the bed.  This week he was beaten for at least two of GB’s five sacks, contributed to a couple others, allowed all kinds of QB pressure, and was penalized three times for good measure.

Anyway, the non-fumble non-sack still forced a punt.  Rodgers zipped yet another pass down the middle for a 49 yard gain.  I would like to blame somebody for this travesty but I don’t have my copy of the playbook handy and lord knows I don’t want to blame Ryan Clark for something he wasn’t responsible for.   Let’s just say both Carter and Clark whiffed on making a tackle and were bailed out by, I can’t believe I’m typing this, Willie Gay.  Gay’s hustle was very important because GB sputtered and then Mason Crosby shanked his FG attempt wide right.

Things quieted down for a couple series until a sack of Ben and a good punt return set GB up at mid-field.  Rodgers completed a bunch of short passes over to Gay’s side which brought them to the Steelers 14.   From shotgun, GB spread the defense across the field which allowed Rodgers to scramble untouched into the end zone.  The Steelers answered right back when Ben hit Heath for another 28 yarder then followed with a pass to Santonio for 33 more.  Once again, a sack set the Steelers back in the red zone.   But they still managed to score on a nice looking screen pass to underutilized Mewelde Moore.

And this was just halftime!

The third quarter was relatively quiet.  The Steelers had the only notable drive thanks to a pair of screens to Mendy, who was awesome catching the ball out the backfield to the tune of 6 catches for 75 yards.   Where has this been all year, Arians?!?!   Mendy followed a 25 yarder with an apparent 14 yard TD.  However, the Football Gods got revenge for the non-fumble non-sack by flagging Miller for a bogus offensive pass interference penalty which negated the score.   The Steelers settled for a Skippy Reed FG which sent them into the fourth quarter up 24-14.

Ugh.  A fourth quarter lead.   I remember once upon a time when a fourth quarter lead was money in the bank.   Then again, half the banks in this country failed this year so maybe that’s still an appropriate comparison.  In any case, I hate fourth quarter leads nowadays because all they do is give the Origami Curtain an opportunity to torture Steeler Nation in new and unexpected ways.

It started with a 13 play 70 yard TD drive where GB converted on FIVE third downs.  Once again, not to assign blame or point fingers but the TE scored over the middle when Clark got all turned around and couldn’t make a play.  The Steelers answered with some Ben to Hines love.   A 29 yard catch-and-run set up a 34 yard FG.  The Pack answered by unleashing a photon torpedo to Jordy LaForge Nelson for 27 yards.  On the next play, GB, who only ran the ball 8 times ALL GAME (and we thought Arians was bad), gashed the defense for a 24 yard rushing TD from Ryan Grant.  I don’t know what happened there but it looked like a Black Hole opened up in the middle of the field.  More Ben-Hines love in the form of a 54 yard bomb resulted in a 43 yard Skippy boot.  That’s not a gimme at Heinz Field, folks.  That kick pulled the Steelers back ahead 30-28.

At this point, Mike Tomlin made one of the most boneheaded coaching decisions in Steelers history.   Channeling his Inner Belichick, he called for an ONSIDE KICK up by two with four minutes left against one of the best offenses in the league.  Is he daring the Steelers to fire him?   Why not just grab Pam Oliver’s mic and shout, “My defense sucks!” while you’re at it?

Predictably, the attempt failed when Ike Taylor didn’t let it roll the necessary ten yards.  Green Bay took advantage of the short field to take a 34-30 lead on a 24 yard TD pass.   Rookie Joe Burnett, who rotated with Ike and Gay regularly all game, slipped making a cut and James Jones walked in for the score.   The Packers then converted a 2 point conversion (somebody must’ve had money on the game) to take a six point lead with two minutes left.

And that’s when Big Ben turned back the clock to the glory days of 2008.  In a comeback for the ages, Ben coolly led the team down the field.  He was aided by some fantastic catches by his receivers.  Heath caught a 22 yarder along the sidelines while Santonio had a huge 32 yard reception on fourth down.  The Steelers got a break when a pick was erased by a GB penalty.

Still, this was the Ben Roethlisberger Show and Big Ben did not disappoint.  In his finest game ever, he completed 29/46 passes for 503 yards.   Most impressively, he tossed three TDs against zero INTS.   This was a new Steeler record for passing yardage and one of the best performances by any NFL QB in the past decade.  With this game, Ben has silenced all his doubters and established that he belongs right up there with Drew Brees and Tom Brady among the league’s best signal callers.

Anyway, a frantic last minute drive, aided by numerous GB penalties, ended up with the Steelers on the Packer 19.  Two incomplete passes wound the clock down to 3 seconds left in the game.   In a play that looked eerily similar to the one which brought Pittsburgh their sixth Lombardi Trophy, Roethlisberger threw a pinpoint accurate pass to Mike Wallace, who dragged his toes while falling out of bounds.  An extra point later and the Steelers pulled off a Chrismukkah miracle.

Now, I’m as excited by this win as anybody but let’s keep our emotions realistic when using the p-word (playoffs).  It feels great to see the team play like champions but there were a lot of breakdowns yesterday.  They managed to overcome them because they finally showed some heart and intensity for a change.  It was a great win, albeit one where Big Ben almost superhumanly took the team and single-handedly saved them from the embarassment of another blown lead and a sixth consecutive loss (not to mention saving Tomlin from a riot).   But a win is a win and that may be the best Christmas present any of us could have asked for.

Don’t forget to post your guess in the first ever NPC BRLTCFB M&M Contest for your chance to win over a pound of customized Pittsburgh Steelers M&M’S.

The Baltimore Ravens descend upon Heinz Field once again this Sunday for the AFC Championship game. To say our rivalry just got kicked up a notch is like saying there have been a couple arrests made in Baltimore.

The Pittsburgh Steelers have a number of rivals throughout the league. The Cowboys, the Titans, the Fighting Belicheats, and of course the Cleveland Browns. However, with the exception of the Brownies, we don’t play any of those teams twice a year every year. And Cleveland, well, geography may make us rivals but on the field the Browns haven’t been a threat to us in twenty five years. Which makes the fact the Ravens are easily Public Enemy #1 to members of Steeler Nation all the more ironic considering Baltimore would be Cleveland if not for a greedy little jagoff of an owner. Then again, who can blame someone for wanting out of Cleveland?

The True Rivalry as I like to call it basically was born in 1999 when Brian Billick became head coach of the Ratbirds. He, along with a couple guys named Lewis (Ray and Jamal), brought about an era of winning which culminated with a Super Bowl victory the next year. The following season, the Steelers dethroned the champs by eliminating them in the Divisional Playoff Round behind the brilliant play of a resurgent Kordell Stewart. Since then, bounties and on-field incidents have marred the games between these two teams as mutual respect has quickly turned to a healthy hatred. The Ravens returned the favor on the Steelers back in 2006 when they crushed us twice, ending any hope of defending our most recent championship.

You can read my analysis of our first two bloodbaths here and here. Not much has changed other than the continued development of QB Joe Flacco. Baltimore coach John Harbaugh seems to still have his young QB on a tight leash although to his credit Flacco has shown steady leadership you rarely see in a rookie. How much he can do, or is allowed to do, will be the story of the game. Also key will be the turnover battle. Baltimore was, frankly, outplayed by Tennessee last week. If the Titans didn’t make so many mistakes, they had the game in hand. QB Kerry Collins threw a stupid pick deep in Raven territory while RB Lendale White fumbled away another red zone opportunity. See what happens to people who stomp on the Terrible Towel, Tubby?

Another big thing will be what happens on the injury front. The Titans’ RB Chris Johnson was ripping off big gains early on. When he went down, the momentum dramatically shifted. In the first Pittsburgh-Baltimore battle, players were going down left and right. Since things can be altered dramatically with one play, let’s hope the Steelers can stay on the field. As it stands now, S Troy Polamalu and C Justin Hartwig are the only players dinged up. Hartwig seems good to go. Everybody seems to think Polamalu will be fine come game time but he clearly didn’t look like himself last week so let’s hope a week of rehab was enough and nothing happens to exacerbate the injury further. On the Ravens side, CB Samari Rolle and LB Terrell Suggs, two of their better defensive players, are hurting. Rolle is apparently a definite out but Suggs seems to want to give it a try although playing with a badly separated shoulder would likely limit him to being a 3rd down pass rusher.

Of course, Tennessee didn’t have their two best defensive players when they creamed us a few weeks back so even if neither one plays, don’t assume that means our offense is going to samari roll all over them.

Mike Tomlin makes his first appearance in an AFC Championship game. Previous coach and this site’s inspirational founder Bill Cowher was 2 for 6 in Championship games over his 15 year tenure. Interestingly, one of those wins came against the Indianapolis Colts lead by QB Jim Harbaugh, the brother of our opponent’s coach. Now it’s time to see if Tomlin’s regular season hocus pocus can turn the Cinderella Ravens back into pumpkins and send the Steelers to the fancy Ball in Tampa.

Revenge is a dish best served cold or, sometimes, wet. Playing in a steady downpour, the Pittsburgh Steelers crushed the New England Patriots 33-10 in their most dominating win of the season. The almost biblical rainstorm drenching the field was oddly symbolic as if the heavens above were trying to wash the rotten stink of Bill Belichick from the landscape of the NFL.

Make no mistake, this was the Steelers finest performance of the year. The Massholes, as is their modus operandi, will come up with 101 reasons why this game shouldn’t count but considering most of them weren’t aware they had a team until 2001, ignore their excuse-making. Why just last week those same dimwits were throwing their franchise QB overboard while anointing Matt Cassel the Chosen One. If that doesn’t show you the amount of ignorance we’re dealing with, Cassel’s sloppy and inept play should. Whatever terribly run franchise, I’m guessing the Detroit Lions, that empties the bank to sign this guy is going to be really disappointed when they discover their shiny new sports car is a lemon.

Cassel was coming off two 400 yard passing performances which led to the ridiculous level of hysteria surrounding his play. That those performances came against mediocre Miami and Jets (watch as everybody jumps off that bandwagon this week) defenses seemed to escape the no-nothing talking heads who are, you know, paid to analyze football. Granted, the Steeler defense isn’t your typical defense. It’s an unrelenting machine. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Where to begin with the beautiful violence displayed on Sunday afternoon. Defenders stormed in on Cassel from all angles, finishing the game with 5 sacks. James Harrison cemented his place as the BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN FOOTBALL adding 2 more sacks to his league leading total, both of which caused fumbles. LaMarr Woodley chipped in with one of his own while Casey Hampton, moments after being flagged for a ridiculous holding call, showed why you do not piss off the Fat Man by promptly squashing Cassel on the next play. Troy Polamalu was all over the field, dropping back and blitzing, culminating in a nice tip-INT to ice the game. Lawrence Timmons, who should be starting at this point, made a sweet pick out in coverage.

Words can’t describe how dominate this defensive performance was. The only score the feeble Patriot offense could manage was when they started at the Steelers 14 after a Ben Roethlisberger interception. They had 5 total yards in the 3^rd Quarter. They didn’t convert a third down until late in the 4^th. They had 122 rushing yards, about double the 66 which Pittsburgh had been allowing, but that’s misleading. For some reason, the Steelers went to a weird Cover-2/prevent type D late in the first half and the Pats used draws to rip off 55 yards on two runs. Ike Taylor continued to establish a reputation as an elite Shut Down Corner by limiting WR Randy Moss to 45 measly yards.

Of course, the most memorable play occurred in the third quarter when S Ryan Clark, who missed last year’s game, made sure the Patriots knew he was there by attempting to behead WR Wes Welker. The hit was like something out of “The Longest Yard” but without benefit of a highly trained stuntman. Clark was flagged for a personal foul despite the fact Santonio Holmes was lit up on almost an identical (unpenalized) play last week as the NFL continues their march toward turning into Flag Football. Clark will undoubtedly receive a fine from Fuhrer Goodell because, well, the NFL hates the Steelers. Members of Steeler Nation should start a fund for Ryan as I don’t know about you but that hit was totally worth something to me.

On the flip side, the Steeler offense actually showed a spark of life today. I’ve been monitoring the poll I have going on and I’m sad that so many people swallow what the media feeds them without examining the evidence. The offensive line is not a great unit by any means but they are far from the main culprit behind our woes. Big Ben was sacked only once against a pretty decent group of pass rushers while the running game piled up 161 yards which shows you they are a capable if unspectacular unit.  Injuries to the backfield, Ben holding on to the ball way too long, and our idiot Offensive Coordinator dialing up 30 yard pass plays in the face of jailbreak blitzes are a much bigger problem than any shortcomings along the line.

Case in point this game. Notice how the Steelers have began utilizing the bunch formation (when all the receivers are packed about 5 yards off the line) in order to facilitate a short, quick-hitting passing game. Notice how the TEs like Heath Miller, who led the team with 4 catches for 60 yards, have become a bigger part of the offense. Notice the commitment to the run as the Steelers have settled into a three pronged running attack with Mewelde Moore featured in the 1^st half, Willie Parker (showing good speed but questionable cutting) in the 2^nd half, and Gary Russell in short yardage situations. All these things combine for an offense which controls the clock, keeps downs and distances manageable, and keeps the defense off balance enough to prevent them from pinning their ears back on the pass rush.

Again, the Massholes will no doubt whine that Moss dropped a potential TD pass along with several other key throws during the course of the game. I counter by noting the Steelers left several TDs on the grass themselves. Santonio is playing like a man who doesn’t want to be here much longer as he dropped not one but two potential TDs and his loafing on a play almost led to an INT. If rookie Limas Sweed can blossom into a solid #3, he could be squeezed out with the rise of Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington, who has emerged this season and can be counted on for at least one or two big catches per game, although he did drop what would’ve been a back breaking bomb late in the game.

The Bungles bent over and grabbed their ankles for those pesky Baltimore Ravens so the Steelers maintain their slim one game lead in the division. The Purple Birds have the Washington Redskins next week at home which is a tough one to predict because on one hand the Skins are fighting for a playoff spot but on the other hand they haven’t played very well in recent weeks. Meanwhile, our old buddies the Dallas Cowboys come into town also fighting for a playoff spot. In any case, it’s looking more and more like the week 15 showdown in Charm City is going to be the tipping point for the entire year. If the Steelers can continue to play at the level they displayed this week, nothing short of a Silverback launching long snaps can stop them.

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I hope everybody had a great Thanksgiving. While you were huddled over your 22 pound turducken, passing Grandma the candied yams, maybe you saw a bit of the annual NFL action out of the corner of your eye. And when you did, I hope you remembered to give thanks for being a Steeler fan.

Now, on to this week’s contest with the New England Patriots. When they lost franchise quarterback Tom Brady to a season-ending knee injury, they could’ve easily shrugged their shoulders and wrote the year off. Instead, they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and have managed a very respectable showing thus far. While they’ve been aided by the easiest schedule in the NFL, they’ve also had to overcome even more injuries to their best defensive player (S Rodney Harrison) and every member of their backfield.

For maintaining competitiveness and working through adversity, head coach Bill Belichick deserves a great deal of credit. Whether this coaching tour de force is enough to erase the taint of Spygate is another thing.

If there’s one lesson to be learned from the Spygate fiasco, it’s that Bill Belichick is a complete bullshit artist. For years Belichick went out of his way to mention how much he loved the game and respected the sport, his fellow coaches, and the players. Yet the scandal put a sizeable dent in the game’s integrity and Belichick’s wrath at actually being accused of cheating (which he most definitely did) led to the Patriots disrespectfully running up the score on teams throughout the season. The lesson was that Bill Belichick did have a great deal of respect for the game…as long as he was its unquestioned genius.

STEELER DEFENSE vs. PATRIOTS OFFENSE

In honor of Black Friday, here’s what everybody in the NFL will want under their Christmas tree this year: Matt Cassel. Write it down, he will be a starting QB in the NFL next season. If not for the Patriots, then for the likes of Detroit or San Francisco. Brady’s injury couldn’t have come at a better time for Cassel, who is an unrestricted free agent after this year. With the low quality of quarterbacking in the league, he’ll be the best FA QB prospect since Drew Brees. The only real question is how far along is Tom Terrific’s bum knee and will the Pats have to franchise Matt in order to protect themselves next year?

The other burning question is whether Cassel is actually a talent or a product of a winning system. Is he the next Steve Young or is he the next Rob Johnson? The first month of his tenure was rough, of course he was starting for the first time since HIGH SCHOOL. After those early games when the team was averaging about 10 pts/per, the Pats shifted to a run-based/ball control/West Coast offense. Cassel slowly began to thrive until the coaches have gained enough confidence in his throwing that they’ve began running an offense more in line to what they had under Brady. Cassel has passed for over 400 yards in two consecutive weeks.

Still, let’s be realistic. A lot of what makes the Patriots so tough is they have a motivated Randy Moss, arguably the greatest deep threat WR ever. They also have Chad Jackson, while not a great receiver, he was drafted to stretch the field with his speed. With that, opposing defenses are forced to use a lot of double safety help over the top, a fact Anthony Smith probably still has nightmares about. The vertical passing game opens up the underneath passing game for Wes Welker, the best slot receiver in football.

And if those guys were covered, they can still go to TE Ben Watson or excellent screen runner RB Kevin Faulk. Faulk missed time due to injury but he is one they got back. The rest of their RBs have not been so lucky. They primarily feature Benjarvis Green-Ellis, an undrafted free agent who was on their PRACTICE SQUAD although Sammy Morris has returned in recent weeks and will get some playing time.

According to the latest reports, it looks like the Three Amigos will ride again in our secondary. Deshea Townshend, coming off a sprained hammy, and Bryant McFadden, nursing a broken forearm, both practiced on Thursday which usually indicates they’ll give it a go. Good timing as they’ll join Ike “Can’t See Me” Taylor to face the daunting task of covering those Patriot receivers.

The other important thing to note is Brady’s Kryptonite has always been his statue-like pocket presence. Cassel is much more mobile so even if our hellacious pass rushers get in on him (and to be honest, the Pats O-Line is a bit overrated), they will be dealing with a far more maneuverable QB.

STEELER OFFENSE vs. PATRIOTS DEFENSE

NE still empoys a 3-4 scheme although they’ve made changes over the years to use more four down linemen formations and using more 1 gap 3-4 instead of 2 gap 3-4 schemes. The defense wasn’t all that hot last season but they did have a knack for making the right plays at the right time. After the David Tyree miracle catch, Archie Manning noted that he and his sons talked about how if the game gets close, Eli could not afford to get sacked because they noticed over the years that the Patriots had an uncanny knack for getting big sacks in crunch time.

This is a big defense as they rarely ever find a team that is more physical than they are. However, their size and physical play comes at a price as it’s often difficult to find linebackers who are both big and can cover. For the past few years they had to move our old friend Mike Vrabel to the inside to help with coverage. Now that his cover skills have diminished, he’ll probably stick to playing the outside backer spot and just rush the passer. He’s about as incredible as they get when it comes to making the timely big play. Honestly, it’s amazing he’s become the clutch big game player he’s been for this team when everybody who remembers his lone year starting for the Steelers will recall how ineffective he was as a pass rusher.

Adalius Thomas was their best cover LB. He was another tremendous loss as he’s out for the year with a broken arm. They’ve been forced to play rookie 1^st rounder Jerrod Mayo probably a lot more than they would like but the noob has risen to the occasion. He’s a tremendous prospect and just the type of player they badly needed; an athletic smart player who can cover inside and mow down runs to the outside.

They lost Asante Samuel to free agency but it wasn’t as devastating as some might have thought. The Pats don’t place too much value on corners because they are primarily a zone defense team which stresses scheme over individual talent. They have been more susceptible to the pass than the run this year but they’re still middle of the pack in both categories. That’s not much different than last year, only people didn’t worry so much last year due to the comfort of knowing their offense was good for at least 30+ points every game.

Pothole Willie Parker’s knee is bothering him again as excessive swelling prevented him from practicing this week. At this point, I think we can safely hang the tag of “injury prone” on FWP. Luckily the one-two punch of Mewelde Moore and Gary Russell has proven quite effective in relief. They’ll have to rise to the occasion on Sunday since a ball control/possession type offense is still the best way to deal with the Patriots. Then again, O-Coordinator Bruce Arians hasn’t committed to the run all season, why start now?

The rest of the offense looks good to go so it’ll be interesting what Arians has planned for a very smart and well-coached defensive team. Whenever we’ve played intelligent D-Coordinators (Jim Johnson, Steve Spagnulo), they’ve coached rings around ‘ol Bruce. This week we get Belichick and whatever puppet he calls his DC so in this battle of wits, hopefully Arians doesn’t come unarmed.

Speaking of arms, if QB Ben Roethlisberger can keep his pointed in the direction of our WRs and not their CBs, he should have a decent day throwing the ball. I don’t anticipate the pressure being too overwhelming nor do I think the secondary is stifling enough to really hamper that aspect of our game. Big Ben has looked much stronger and healthier in recent weeks so if he stays within himself and avoids game-changing mistakes, he should have a pretty productive day.

Also of note, Mitch Berger makes his triumphant return as Steeler punter this week. Paul Ernster and his 30 yard average were sent packing to nobody’s surprise. Daniel Supulveda was lost for the year so we held a competition between Ernster and Berger. Ernster stunk so we went with Berger. Berger stunk so we brought back Ernster. Ernster was beyond atrocious so here comes Berger again. I know this is a radical idea but HOW ABOUT TRYING SOMEBODY NEW?!?

You can’t tell me those two clowns represent all there is in the free agent punter talent pool. Whoever kicks better do a good job as Ellis Hobbs had a great year on returns last year, averaging 26 yards a kickoff while Wes Welker is not explosive on returns but consistent at putting his team in good field position.

Unlike previous years where the division was wrapped up by mid-season, the Patriots are in a real dogfight with the streaking Jets. Failing a division title, they’re also looking at a three way battle with the Ravens and Colts for a Wild Card spot. The Steelers follow this week with Dallas, Baltimore, Tennessee, and Cleveland. Only one of those is a gimme (I leave it to you to figure out which) and with Baltimore one measly game behind, we really need to pick up at least two wins. This appears to be the 2^nd most winnable game of the five. One thing is for sure, the loser of this game will be in an almost no margin for error situation if they hope to make the playoffs.

With the New England Patriots lacking the services of franchise QB Tom Brady and being far from the undefeated juggernaut which rampaged through the NFL last season, I thought it might be useful to provide my fellow members of Steeler Nation a few reminders why we should still hate the Fighting Belicheats.

5) Tom Brady is a dandy.

Kordell Stewart had his sexuality questioned when he cried bitter manly tears after Coach Bill Cowher benched him during a poor performance. What would people think if there were pictures of him carrying a man purse? Also, note the hat. Even their star quarterback can’t stand the Bosox.

“Hey Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he’s a dandy. He’s a real fancy boy!”

- Kramer, from “Seinfeld”

4) Everybody needs a break from hating the Red Sox.

Sure we all felt sorry for them when they hadn’t won in 90 years but now that they’ve taken two in the last five years, they’ve quickly wore out their welcome. Cub fans are the worst but at least you can laugh at them when they experience their inevitable failure.

Watching Jason Bay get game-winning hits for the Bosox was a little like watching the end of Star Wars when Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader for the first time.

3) They need six states to have a fan base.

In the beginning, they were known as the Boston Patriots. The problem was they always finished a distant fourth in the fans’ eyes to the Celtics, Bruins, and Sox. So in order to beef up their fan pool, they decided to represent all of New England. Who’s to say Vermont or Rhode Island even want to root for the Pats? Kind of presumptuous, isn’t it?

It’s all good, though. The Patriots can have the six New England states; the Steelers will have to settle for being the favorite team of the other 44 (and District of Columbia).

2) Coach Bill Belichick is still a douchebag.

With his team up 41-20 against the Dolphins last week, Spycam Bill had his first team offense out there throwing long passes and trying to score instead of doing the sportsmanlike thing and taking a knee. Maybe he confused the NFL with the BCS and thought he needed to pile it on in order to be invited to the post-season. This was neither the first time, nor will it be the last, Belichick has run up a score showing the lack of character and class which has epitomized his reign of terror.

By the way, Rashard Mendenhall looks way better in a hoodie.

1)  ‘Nuff Said

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