Are you ready for some football?

Are you ready for a screwjob of epic proportions?

A running joke this season has been the Pittsburgh Steelers having to battle two separate foes each and every Sunday.  Most obviously, they had to defeat the team lined up across from them.  Then they had to contend with their hidden opponents; the officials.  I’ve tried to not subscribe to Pittsburgh Paranoia or whine like a Ratbird fan but it’s nigh impossible to ignore the anti-Steelers bias coming from the NFL this season.

Who can forget the debacle against Oakland where the Black and Gold racked up the most penalty yardage in their eighty year history?  Or the Ravens game where Heath Miller was knocked out by an obvious cheapshot shortly after Ben Roethlisberger had his snoot crushed by Haloti Ngata and no flags were thrown on either play?   I’m sure Steeler Nation expected the officiating to improve in the playoffs only to see our team penalized nine times for 93 yards last Saturday.  Yeah, the zebras missed a couple personal fouls on Ike Taylor and Kemo but they also missed Ed Reed attempting to corkscrew Hines’ head off by the facemask.

Worse, the referees continued their habit of providing no protection to Big Ben.  If you watch the Suggs fumble in slo-mo, you’ll notice Ben was hit well above the shoulder pads.  As die hard fans will recall,  LaMarr Woodley was flagged for a PF when he hit Drew Brees in exactly the same manner.  I also counted at least three occasions when dirty Ravens thugs dove in at Ben’s knees, a clear violation of the Brady Rule which prohibits going low on a QB.

Prepare for more of the same on Sunday.  If you thought the Ginger Dictator and his striped monkeys were out to get the Steelers before, they’ll kick it up a notch this weekend.  Make no mistake, the NFL does not want Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl.  It would be their worst nightmare.

Starting with Big Ben’s totally unwarranted and unfair suspension, everything the league has done this season has been designed to keep the Black and Gold from reaching the big game.  We all know Ginger is a public relations whore who goes to sleep at night thinking of new ways to protect the shield.  If you thought the five ninja virgins who picketed Heinz Field when Ben returned was bad, imagine the picketing when he reaches the Super Bowl.  Every hairy-armpitted Womyn’s Libber within a hundred miles will be taking time off from watching Oprah and snuggling with their cats to protest.

I fully expect the yellow flags to fly early and often on Sunday.  Don’t expect any borderline calls to go our way.  And before you say, “Well, we’ve overcome the biased officiating all year.  What’s one more game?” allow me to remind you of our first meeting with the New York Jets.  Down five with a little less than two minutes left, Emmanuel Sanders blew past the Jets secondary then had his jersey practically torn off his back by the toast corner.  No flag.

Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that this time.

Terry Bradshaw, the greatest quarterback in Pittsburgh Steelers history, had some wise words of advice for their current signal-caller.  Yes, I used the words “Bradshaw” and “wise” in the same sentence.  If you’ve ever been lucky enough to hear Terry speak in public, he’s actually a pretty smart guy.   He just plays up the aw-shucks hick aspect of his personality for television.   And the four time Super Bowl champion has concluded the same thing I’ve been telling my loyal readers since I started this blog three years ago.

Ben Roethlisberger is a dick.

Terry shouldn’t feel like he’s being singled out.  Bill Cowher also told Ben not to ride his motorcycle.   Of course, Ben didn’t get along with Cowher, either.  And, yes, Bradshaw made his share of mistakes when he was here.  But nothing ever brought the Steelers anywhere near the level of disgrace that Pig Ben’s recent actions have.

How does Ben sleep at night?

Well, he had to get up early yesterday for his meeting with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.  A freshly-shaved and de-mulleted Roethlisberger arrived bright and early for his meeting with Herr Roger. The meeting lasted several hours and Ben’s only comment upon exiting was that the meeting was “very productive.”  I can only hope Goodell channeled Dean Wormer and told him “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

Meanwhile, for those who didn’t heed my words a couple days ago when I said anybody who thinks the Milledgeville incident will be the last is sorely mistaken, a lawyer went on a radio talk show in Boston and revealed that he had been asked to look into a similar incident which occurred six months ago in Las Vegas.  While the lawyer quickly revised his comments to clarify he wasn’t accusing Ben of rape, he did say the incident involved a woman being invited to party with the drunken imbecile in a VIP area of a night club where she was subjected to “non-consensual sexual touching” by Mr. Rapistberger.  So either Ben has some serious self-control issues or he has absolutely no idea how to hit on a woman.

In any case, the city is rapidly turning against their disgusting quarterback.   Even his strongest supporters within the organization are cracking as current Steelers President Art Rooney II was described as “furious” after hearing the details of the Georgia incident.  Most tragically, our friends over at PLB Sports, maker of City of Champions Cereal, have invoked their morality clause in deciding to discontinue their line of Big Ben Beef Jerky.

When you’ve lost your beef jerky, you’ve truly lost it all.

I think I threw up in my mouth listening to that.

I could write ten pages dissecting all the lies, phoniness, and hypocrisy contained in the 90 second statement disgraced Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger read hours after learning he had gotten away with rape would not face sexual assault charges.  Heck, I could write just two on that ridiculous mullet alone.  But since you’re likely sick of hearing about him and I’m sick of writing about him, I’ll limit myself to a few brief statements.

Thanking DA Fred Bright for not pressing charges only shows he didn’t actually watch the news conference.  Bright repeatedly called the poor girl he viciously attacked “the victim” and stressed that the case wasn’t being brought only because they didn’t have enough irrefutable evidence.  It was hardly a ringing endorsement of his innocence.  Anybody could plainly see Bright was not happy about cutting the big goof loose.  In fact, the DA even told Pig Ben to “grow up.”

Of course he’s happy to put it behind him.  I wonder how the young lady who he nearly raped is doing?  I wonder if she’s been able “to put it behind her.”  Hopefully he did pay her off because she deserves something for what he did to her and she for damn sure didn’t get any justice.

Ben wants to be the leader that the Steelers deserve…  How about, I dunno, setting an example by not getting accused of rape every off-season?  Is that too much to ask?  And while we’re looking at qualities befitting a leader, how about not whining and crying about every minor boo boo you get during the season?

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at his desire to be “a valuable member of the community and role model for kids.”   If you’re a parent and you allow your kid to wear a #7 jersey, you should be reported to Child Services immediately.  Either that or make sure you buy little Bobby a baby doll so you can show him the difference between a good touch and a bad touch.   Evidently Ben’s parents failed to teach him this valuable lesson when he was a child.

And, finally, he wants to earn our trust?  Seriously?  Let me ask a couple questions.  Would any of my female readers out there feel comfortable hanging out with him in a dark and secluded part of a night club?   Would any of you with daughters feel comfortable letting them hang out with him?   I personally wouldn’t wish a bruised and bleeding vagina on any of the women in my life but maybe that’s just me.

In summation, shut up Ben.  I don’t care what you have to say.  Just go out there and throw touchdowns because that’s all you’re good for.  We all know what kind of person you are now.   And no prepared statement full of ridiculous B.S. is going to make us forget what you have done.

Finally some action.

The pending sexual assault case against Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has finally drawn to a conclusion. At least, as far as Milledgeville Police Chief Buford T. Justice Woodrow W. Blue is concerned.  Yesterday, it was confirmed that his office submitted their official findings to the district attorney.  The ball is now in D.A. Fred Bright‘s court.

I’m sure many of you are thinking, “Well, at least this is all finally coming to a head.”  Unfortunately, the wheels of justice move slower than traffic through the Fort Pitt tunnel at rush hour.  D.A. Bright will review the case and he can either deem the evidence insufficient and drop the whole thing or request the Milledgeville PD gather more evidence.   This could be possible since one huge aspect of their follow-up never happened;  namely Big Ben refused to come in for a second interview.

Now, if the D.A. decides the case is solid enough without any cooperation from Roethlisberger, he has to then decide which charges he wants to file.  Although the victim claimed sexual assault, he is free to change that to anything he thinks he can prove.  Once that process is done, he then submits the evidence along with his charges to a grand jury.  The grand jury then indicts Ben and a trial date is set.

One small problem.  The Georgia grand jury doesn’t meet all year round.   Their next session isn’t until July.  Yes, JULY.  So even if the Hot Fuzz built a great case and the prosecutor wants to prosecute, no formal charges will be filed until July.  Which, if nothing else, royally screws the Steelers because there’s nothing like finding out a month before training camp that your oafish miscreant of a QB is suspended pending the outcome of his criminal trial.

EDIT:  It looks like resolution to this case is coming faster than I expected.  DA Bright has called a press conference on Monday afternoon where he will reveal what action he intends to take.   ESPN is reporting unnamed sources say no charges will be filed against Pig Ben. I’ll refrain from commenting further until we hear Bright’s official statement.

In the meantime, the Steelers have kept themselves busy by inviting potential draft picks up to Pittsburgh.  One of whom is Oregon RB LaGarrette Blount.  Or, as you may know him, the thug who sucker punched a Boise State player after a game and was suspended the rest of the season.  Nice to know the Steelers have decided to completely drop any hint of having standards and decided to move full throttle toward becoming the Bengals 2.0