Haslam seen here looking for some new Browns at one of his truck stops. Courtesy knoxnews.com

Truck stop mogul and professed Steelers fan, Jimmy Haslam, purchased the Browns from Randy Lerner on Thursday.  Price tag went for $1 billion dollars.  The sale won’t be official until the owners approve, which they are expected to in October.

The big question in everyone’s mind is – will Haslam drop his Steeler’dom for a piece of the Dawg Pound?  Well, he currently has a stake in part of the Steelers organization, so he will have to sell that before taking ownership of the Browns.  But will this ’1,000%’ Steelers fan be able to give up the Black & Gold in his heart for some Brown & Orange?  Wasn’t Haslam’s interest in the Steelers solely because he had a stake in the organization?

My guess is that he’ll forget the Steelers pretty quickly.  But either way, whether he remains a Steelers fan or actually wants to better this sad sad team that is in Cleveland, one thing will always remain true – the Brownies will never ever change.  This one’s for you dawgs.

Even I don't know how good I'm going to be, Pouncey! Credit: Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE

I would have to say that the AFC North had one of the more interesting drafts of all the divisions in the NFL.  Each team made key (or head scratching) moves directly involving offense.  Each team is primed to have either a great offense or one that quickly swirls down the toilet bowl.  Each quarterback also has a chance to have the season of a lifetime.  For us to jump down this rabbit hole, we’re going to have to make a few assumptions.

First we’ll have to assume that nothing will happen to Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger or Bengals QB Andy Dalton.  Ben appears to be flying the straight and narrow these days, and Andy Dalton has about an exciting life as a three-toed sloth – no chances for any events that will steer them away from the football field.  We must also assume that Joe Flacco and the Baltimore Ravens will tidy up the contract dispute currently on the table.  Flacco wants the big money and the Ravens are biting… yet.  Joe doesn’t appear that he’ll be a hold out as he attended the OTA’s and mini camps.  Now there’s about 10 (maybe he has 9?) Joe Flacco fans out there who will argue that there’s no way he’ll hold out.  And perhaps that’s true – he has the lack of spine to show up in camp.  But I’m not convinced that Uni won’t try and pull a power play right before camp – after all, he is ‘the best’ right?  But for now, we’ll assume that he’ll be taking the snaps.  Our last assumption is the hardest one to make, but we’ll have to go on blind faith in order for this poll to work.  We’re going to have to assume that Brandon Weeden will be the starter for the Cleveland Browns.  Although it may seem easy to think that Weeden will be the starter, Colt McCoy and Seneca Wallace are the other men competing for that job.  And while it may also be easy to write off McCoy, cause boy the analysts sure did on draft night, he will still have some fight in him.  The Browns will be going for broke as they always do since they have no fighting chance of taking the division.  If they feel Weeden is the guy to inject some type of pulse into that offense, then he’ll be the one to start.  Ok, I’m game.  Weeden it is.

The Steelers added a ton of weapons to the offense, and that includes the offensive line as being a weapon.  With the addition of great run blockers like David DeCastro and Mike Adams, the tallest TE in the business Leonard Pope, and new offensive coordinator Todd Haley, the Steelers have the potential of blowing up the scoreboard.  Can’t forget to mention NFL record setting receiver Antonio Brown and the other pass catchers, Heath Miller, and Isaac Redman primed to carry this team to the playoffs.  Big Ben has the potential of the best season of his career.  But will it be the best among the AFC North?

Is he wearing his helmet? Oh wait that's just his.... never mind. Credit: Frank Victores-US PRESSWIRE

Andy Dalton proved that ginger can be cool.  He had a great rookie season, and connected with star receiver A.J. Green.  Were he to have one good game against the Steelers last season, the Bengals could have had the Steelers on the outside looking in come playoff time.  But with any rookie season came highs and lows.  Now it’s time for Dalton to settle in with his offense once again (that surprisingly ranked 20th in the passing game) and make another push for the playoffs.

Joe Flacco and the rest of the Ravens have quite a bit to deal with going into camp.  Holdouts, injuries, etc.  All distractions, and all things that can affect the overall chemistry of the team.  Ray Rice, should he continue his hold out, could throughly screw this team by taking any semblance of a running game.  No running game means more responsibility and pressure on Joe Flacco.  And well, sometimes that just doesn’t work out to well for our friend Bert.  He does have plenty of weapons still at his disposal – none more electric than Torrey Smith.  Smith proved numerous times, including several against Pittsburgh, that he has amazing speed.  Should he improve his ability to catch the football, Flacco could have TD after TD bomb.

Do I have to talk about the Browns offense?  Wait.  Is there even a Browns offense?  Well, if there is, then Weeden has his work cut out for him.  He’ll have to …. ummm….. weed out (sorry just couldn’t help myself) the bad from the good in the huddle and hope for the best.  Who know, this kid and the rest of the dogs could surprise us come mid season – although the Homers will tell you the Browns are playoff bound and rulers of the North!

So – who’s it going to be?  Big Ben, Andy Dalton, Joe Flacco or Brandon Weeden?  They all have the potential (except maybe Weeden) to have a great statistical season.  But who will come out on top as the best?

No need to rub your eyes. That's what these three dudes predicted.

Jag’ville is a fairly populated place these days.  Well three new citizens signed up for their residency cards today when they decided to place the Steelers as placing third in the AFC North.  Who, you may ask, are these lucky clowns?  Herman Edwards, Marcellus Wiley and Bill Polian.

ESPN, fishing from a very dry well of analyst talent, brought these three clown on to do predictions – well before any completion of OTA’s or training camp.  I have no problems with predictions.  We do them here all the time – mainly for fun and to stir conversation.  What’s really annoying with these three jags is the air of authority with which they speak – no surprise there.  But we should all really know by now the predictive prowess of Edwards, Wiley, and Polian, right?  Masters of the crystal ball.  So what was the big reason why they consistently placed the Ravens and the Bengals over the Steelers?

Change.

Yes.  That’s right.  Change.  If you just asked yourself, ‘Of what?’ you, my friend,  you are already light years ahead of these three magnificent boneheads.  Aside from losing Ward, Aaron Smith, Chris Hoke, James Farrior, Chris Kemoeatu, and Willie Gay, the team is is mainly intact from last season.  Let’s look at that for a sec…..

Ward: Retired after team DIDN’T WANT HIM BACK.  Production was that of a 3rd or 4th receiver.  No big deal

Smith: A fairly big hit to the defensive line.

Hoke: A great backup who, with the combo of losing Smith, makes it a bigger loss.

Farrior: The defensive leader of the team in the locker room.  Production wasn’t that great, and is replaceable.

Kemoeatu: Worthless from day one.  It was already like he wasn’t playing on the team.  So no loss there.

Gay: The #2 corner.  Which Gay was going to show up this year, nobody knew.

So in essence, the Steelers lost 2-3 significant contributors to their team.  And, that all of a sudden means that they go from 12-4 and placing 2nd (only after losing a tiebreaker to the Ravens) to 3rd in the division?  Where in the hell is the logic in that?  Where’s the big change they speak of?  It’s crazy.  If anything, the Steelers went through some huge changes after the draft was over, and it was a change for the better.  If anything, the Steelers improved their chances significantly in winning the AFC North.  The team addressed some significant needs on the offensive and defensive lines, as well as added depth to linebacker and running back.

I’m no homer, and I always call it the way I see it.  Even if that means having to dig into the Black and Gold a bit to prove a point.  There’s no way the Steelers have been shaken up in a negative way that causes this team to falter.  I think what these ‘boys’ are really banking on is the new offensive schemes of Todd Haley no jiving well with an offense that had visions of bubble screens in their dreams on a nightly basis.  Yes, the team will have its bumps and bruises over the course of the season.  At times it won’t look pretty.  But, the Steelers know how to win and still have a defense mainly in tact that will always give them a chance at winning no matter what the offense is like.

Lastly, there was mention of Tomlin being on the hot seat this season.  Excuse me while I grab my list entitled ‘Most Asinine Things People Say.’  Tomlin, as his two predecessors proved before him, has proven to be a strong coach and knows how to run a football team.  Seems like Stooges Inc. (Edwards, Wiley and Polian) needs a refresher on their Steelers history.  The Steelers just don’t drop coaches after a stumble.  Tomlin’s won a Super Bowl since arriving.  They’ve made the playoffs 3 out of 4 seasons and Super Bowls twice since Tomlin joined the team.  Hot seat?  I think not clowns gentlemen.  Oh it should also be noted that the Steelers don’t usually can their guys after one bad season.  They gave Cowher a contract extension after the team went 6-10 the previous season.  So yeah… there’s that.

Quick get these guys some different drugs.  I think they just announced that they think Colt McCoy is going to win the league MVP because he ‘deserves’ it after so much adversity.

Roger Goodell's idea of a clean hit

And the feeling is mutual, I would imagine.

On Monday, Pittsburgh Steelers All-Pro linebacker James Harrison received some bad news.  His appeal of the ridiculous fines levied against him was denied.  Shocking.  I, for one, totally see the fairness in fining James a cool $75,000 for laying out Mohamed Massaquoi with a clean hit but not fining Kurt Coleman (for stretchering out Austin Collie) or James Sanders (for cheapshotting Hines Ward) a single penny for their filthy actions.

According to NFL justice, James would be 67% less dirty (and richer) if he just just pulled up and sucker-punched his opponent like a cowardly little bitch…

Yesterday, the NFL slapped the Silverback with another $25,000 deduction from his paycheck.  Who didn’t see this coming?  He somehow escaped last week’s uncalled for personal foul for “landing with full body weight” on Oakland’s Jason Campbell.   The Ginger Dictator must’ve been distracted with planning his Thanksgiving feast.

But breaks are short-lived when it comes to the NFL’s persecution of the Black and Gold.  This week’s laughable personal foul for hitting Ryan Fitzpatrick square in the chest with a form perfect tackle did not escape their notice.  In fact, when the flag was thrown, I immediately pictured Goodell and his lackey in charge of punishments pumping their fists and high-fiving each other because they got another chance to stick it to the Steelers.

And stick it they did.  Right up the back door.  Without lube.  For those keeping score at home, James Harrison’s badassery has now set him back $125,000.  No other player, not even lowlife thugs who get into UFC-style brawls, have been fined even half that amount.

Instead of pointless meetings with Ginger or appealing unfair fines, James should just write a check for $180,000 and ask the league if a brother can get a discount for early payment.

Legendary Steelers coach Bill Cowher announced on CBS’s Sunday Pregame Show that he will not return to the sidelines in 2009. Instead he plans on spending another year trying to decipher the Captain Caveman-like mumblings of Shannon Sharpe. This news is no doubt a shattering blow to pretty much every franchise that missed the playoffs and/or just plain sucks and thinks The Chin is the man to save them.

The past week saw Cowher linked to every coaching vacancy and even a few jobs which aren’t currently vacant. It began with the Cleveland Browns making an overture to which Bill responded LOL. Memo to Cleveland: the man wants to WIN and everybody knows the Browns will never win anything. Then the New York Jets put him on their wishlist. ESPN had a crawl all day Thursday noting “Cowher and the Jets show mutual interest.” This interest was so mutual that Cowher rejected their interest the next day, having not even bothered to MEET them. Only in NY do people seem to think everybody is just dying to be used and abused by their ignorant disloyal fans and douchebag media.

In any case, Cowher did leave the door open by saying he will re-evaluate his retirement on a year-by-year basis. So next year when the axe falls on a half dozen inept coaches the day after the season ends, expect to hear Chris Mortenson, Jay Glazer, and that Crypt Keeper-looking dude on ESPN bring up his name in connection with every opening. And also expect every blog or fansite which follows a lousy team to keep bringing his name up as the one true savior who can come along and make everything right again.

Here’s hoping he stays retired. No need to ruin his legacy by coming back to a bad situation like Kansas City or Jacksonville and then stumbling through several good but not great seasons before becoming a victim to the unrealistic expectations of the fans.

Besides, Joe Pa can’t stick around forever. Who wouldn’t want to see The Chin lead his Nittany Lions on to the field down in Happy Valley?

Wild Card Weekend Playoff Wrap-Up

Pittsburgh West Cardinals over Falcons 30-24: The Cards were playing possum the past month as a string of phoned in performances were replaced by an amped up intensity which the young Falcons couldn’t match. Former Pitt superstar WR Larry Fitzgerald made an incredible 42 yard TD catch for the first score of the game and Atlanta simply couldn’t keep up when the game turned into a shoot-out. NFL Rushing Leader Michael Turner was bottled up and Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan had several rookie moments as the Card advanced to face the Carolina Panthers next week.

Chargers over Colts 23-17 (OT): The best game of the weekend ended with yet another early playoff exit by the underachieving Colts and undeserving NFL MVP Peyton Manning. The Colts have made the playoffs something like 8 straight years but been one-and-done in half of them. In fact, if not for Steve McNair outchoking Pey-Pey back in 2006, he could very well be football’s version of A-Rod (minus the purple lipstick and washed up pop star girlfriend). I’ll have more on the Chargers later this week as they come to Pittsburgh for an AFC Divisional Playoff game.

Ravens over Dolphins 27-9: Baltimore laid a total whuppin’ on Goldie Hawn’s favorite team, utterly exposing Chad Pennington and humbling the Fins in Miami. Pennington threw 4 picks, topped off by one being returned 64 yards for a TD by notorious ballhawk Ed Reed. Former Pitt recruit Joe Flacco became the first rookie QB to win a road playoff game as his steady play aided by an excellent running attack advanced them forward to a rematch with the top seeded Tennessee Titans next Saturday in Nashville.

Eagles over Vikings 26-14: Minny QB Tarvaris Jackson proved overmatched for the Eagles defense while superstar RB Adrian Peterson was held mostly in check (except for a 40 yard TD scamper, he was pretty well contained). Donovan McNabb made enough big plays, mostly set up by the return abilities of WR Desean Jackson, to put the Eagles ahead. RB Brian Westbrook sealed the deal with a 71 yard TD which began as a 3 yard screen but he took all the way to the end zone. Philly heads to the Meadowlands next week for a third game against their hated divisional foe New York Giants.