Last season, the Cincinnati Bengals finally got it.   They stopped being the Bungles and started copying the Pittsburgh Steelers.   And it worked.  With a strong pounding running game and a solid athletic defense, Cincinnati unexpectedly won the AFC North.  Even though they disgraced themselves in the playoffs, many still thought they had a legitimate shot at making noise in 2010.

Naturally, the fools running the Bengals learned absolutely nothing from last season’s success.  Instead of continuing to follow the Steelers model and hoping to taste just a bit of our success, they went in the exact opposite direction.  Instead of concentrating on the running game, they went out and brought in overrated prima donna Terrell Owens.  Instead of improving team chemistry by eliminating players of low moral character, they brought in Adam “Pacman” Jones.   And where has this left the team which last year’s AFC North champions?

2-5 and hopelessly out of playoff contention.  Couldn’t happen to a more deserving franchise and more obnoxious fan base.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. BENGALS OFFENSE

Watching Cincy last year was like looking through a magic mirror at the 2006 Steelers.  They ran the ball effectively with powerful straight-ahead runner Cedric Benson.   Benson is having another good season, totaling almost 550 yards while averaging 3.8 yards per carry.  Complementing him is Bernard Scott, an elusive speedy back who has only 20 carries but is averaging an impressive 5.7 yards per.

Unfortunately, the running game hasn’t been the focus of their offense.  Carson Palmer is averaging 40 passes per game through the first 7 games of the year.   Has the clone of Bruce Arians’ been hired by the Bungles?   Nope.  This team simply has whiny crybabies like T.O. and Chad Ochocinco on the roster so can you imagine if they only threw 15-20 times a game?

Rookies Jordan Shipley, who has Spider-man sticky hands, and 6’6 rookie TE Jermaine Gresham are actually the best recievers on the team but they don’t get the looks or touches because Tweetledum and Tweetledumber have to be appeased.

Hijacking of the team by overhyped media whore wide receivers has hastened the downfall of the always overrated Carson Palmer.  Some may remember 3-4 years ago when “NFL experts” would routinely rank Palmer as a top QB, ahead of far more deserving players such as our own Ben Roethlisberger.  Thankfully, that is no longer the case.  Palmer has been dreadful this year, completing less than 60% of his passes with a 12/7 TD-to-INT ratio.

Memo to Carson and delusional Bungles fans:  You are not better than Ben, you have never been better than Ben, and you will never ever win anything because you’re not good enough.

Now on the Steelers side of the ball, we have some interesting match-ups.  If a sudden bout of sanity overtakes the Bengals soon-to-be-fired coaching staff and they try running the ball, we’ll get to see how our revamped run defense looks.  Last week wasn’t a real good test since New Orleans was down to their practice squad running back.  Cincy ran all over the Steelers last year without Aaron Smith.

Brett Keisel has been practicing this week so let’s hope he’s finally healthy enough to return.  If he does, that allows the Steelers to rotate Ziggy Hood and Nick Eason on the other side.  I was positive about Ziggy in my game recap but did note Eason played a far better game.  With the Diesel healthy, the Steelers can use Eason in the base defense since he plays the run extremely well and just sub Ziggy in obvious passing downs since that’s the only time he’s consistently effective.

If the Bengals do choose to throw, let’s hope Troy Polamalu plays better than he did last week.  After holding it together through three quarters, the secondary totally fell apart in the fourth last week.  Of course, Palmer is no Drew Brees and none of the Bengals’ receivers are in the same class as those of the Saints’.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. BENGALS DEFENSE

Adam “Don’t Call Me Pacman” Jones was lost for the season returning an INT a few weeks back.  So the Bungles need to find somebody else to pick passes, run back kicks, and beat up strippers.  They were already a middle-of-the-pack secondary with him, averaging about 221 yards passing allowed/game, so we’ll see how they do without him.

The Bengals have a nice young linebacking corp led by world traveler Dhani Jones.  Rey Maualuga and Hines Ward victim Keith Rivers round out a defense which ranks ninth from the bottom against the run.   They also don’t generate much pressure, totaling a pitiful six sacks on the season.

What can I say about the Steelers’ offense?  It’s a frustrating experience watching these guys because there is immense talent at every position (yes, even the O-line) yet they seem to be getting worse by the week.  Last week was a calamity of errors as it was later revealed the team was unprepared to handle the crowd noise at the SuperDome.  This offensive confusion no doubt led to inexcusable mental errors such as receivers not going to hot routes on blitz audibles or Trai Essex blocking the wrong man on the goal line failure.

Considering Art Rooney was ready to run Arians out of town after last year’s fiasco, I have to think no amount of begging by Ben and/or Tomlin will save him if things don’t start improving.  This team has the option of effectively attacking through the ground or air.  Not many teams in the NFL can say that.  Pass to set up the run, run to set up the pass…   Either way, they have the talent to pull it off.   Let’s hope everybody is on the same page this week.

Although the Bengals are a total non-factor this season, divisional games are always tough.  The Steelers must take care of AFC North business if they want to go places.  November is the most crucial month of the season.  Good teams go 3-1 or 4-0 to separate themselves from the pack while bad teams falter and need a late surge and a lot of help to make a run at the postseason.  Let’s not repeat the folly of last season.

Watching this video sends a shiver down my spine.  It makes Al Pacino’s “one more inch” speech from Any Given Sunday seem lame by comparison.

That fiery orator is Cincinnati Bengals owner Mike Brown.  He’s a member of the Lucky Genes Club as his father was legendary NFL coach Paul Brown.  Hopes were high that some of his father’s genius was passed down to his son when Mike assumed control of the team in 1991.  Unfortunately, despite Mike’s charismatic leadership, the Bungles have only managed to accumulate 102 wins against 188 losses.

The Bengals were featured on HBO’s documentary/reality series Hard Knocks.  We were given the chance to witness the inner workings of an NFL franchise from the first day of training camp up through the start of the regular season.  This gave us the opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments like Mike Brown addressing his players.  I don’t know about you but his words sure inspired me.

My favorite part was when he said their terrible season, “Left us open to criticism from the media, who mocked us.“   What criticism?   Oh, he probably means things like, “Mike Brown drafts worse than Al Davis.”   Or “Trojan provides more protection for Carson Palmer than Mike Brown.”

No doubt thanks to Mike’s inspirational pep talks, the Bengals seem to have an air of confidence about them.  Chad Johnson Dick Ochocinco has vowed to make our cornerbacks kiss his baby or da baby or something about a baby.  Not to be outdone, our superstar wide receiver Hines Ward has vowed that he’d gladly obliterate LB Keith Rivers‘ jaw once again, despite Herr Goodell (Sieg Heil!) passing more rules to pussify the game.  Cincy comes in to this Sunday’s game at 1-1, the same record as your World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers.  Not to put too much emphasis on such an early season game but division games are crucial at any time of the year and after last week’s debacle in the Windy City, the Steelers really need to right the ship before they need an pep talk of their own from Ambassador Rooney.

Congratulations, you’ve won the Pennsylvania lottery. Certainly, sir, we’d love to give you a refund. Sorry for the long wait, please have an extra chalupa on us.  Oh my, it’s soooo big.

All things I thought I’d never hear.

“The Steelers offensive line has played an excellent game tonight.” used to be on the list. Miraculously, that one gets crossed off because I actually heard it last night when the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 27-10. Granted, it was spoken by Cris Collingsworth, who is so in love with his own voice I bet he talks dirty to himself, but kudos are kudos.

To be fair, the line did perform well in surrendering zero sacks. Okay, the Bengal defense was pretty banged up and sure they don’t have much of a pass rush even when healthy but remember Baby Steps. QB Ben Roethlisberger was afforded a nice pocket on almost every play and the team managed to rush for a total of 121 yards with three different backs. Plus, they managed to avoid getting flagged for the zillion holding penalties which plagued them last week.

The 121 rushing yards were shared by a three man RB-by-committee. Fast Willie Parker started the game and looked awful. The weather, field conditions, or a flare-up of his knee injury really affected his performance to the point Coach Mike Tomlin yanked him from the game for the entire 2^nd half. He had none of the burst he showed last week and would stutter step/hesitate instead of hitting the hole. Subtract one 15 yard scamper and his stat line is an ugly 13 carries for 22 yards.

Luckily, the calvary was on its way in the form of Mewelde Moore. Moore stepped in to provide a capable rushing attack (56 yards) while also being a threat on screen passes (41 yards). I dare say without his valiant efforts, we would have been in deep trouble. Gary Russell also came up big, first on a 35 yard kick return which gave the Steelers field position and then later converting a key 4^th and 1 near the goal line. That call, where Tomlin channeled his Inner Cowher by passing up a chip shot FG for a first down conversion, was the turning point of the game.

Cincy came out guns blazing, even without the services of malcontent WR Chad Bozo Clowno. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick moved the team right down the field, picking on newly signed CB Fernando Bryant. Fernando did not look mah-velous. It’s no mystery why this guy was out of the league as of two weeks ago. He has the speed to keep up with WRs but gets juked and faked all over the place and in the NFL all it takes is leaning the wrong way for a split second for a window to open up. He got burned on a long pass early in the drive and then got toasted in the end zone for a quick 7-0 Bengal lead.

The Steeler offense came out flat as FWP couldn’t get on track and the passing game seemed out of synch. WRs Nate Washington and Hines Ward have had some big games and big catches this year but they’ve also had big problems with dropping easy ones. Drives floundered when both failed to make plays in the first half. The Steelers finally ended their TD drought after 8 quarters in the 2^nd when O-Coordinator Bruce Arians, who seems to have figured out you’re allowed to throw to your TE, decided to try it with Heath Miller.  Miller’s 14 yarder after a penalty moved them back and TD catch from 3 yards out were sandwiched around a 36 yard strike to Hines. A Skippy Reed FG later in the quarter and it was déjà vu all over again as the teams went to halftime with the same exact 10-7 score they had in their first game.

When play resumed, the Steelers chewed up some clock (and added another FG) with Mewelde Moore taking advantage of a beat up Bengal defense that lost two more starters as the game progressed. Gary Russell finally rammed the ball in from the 2 for his first TD as a Steeler on a drive that was set up by Double M’s 15 yard run followed by a 22 yard screen pass.  Also interesting to note was Carey Davis joined FWP on the pine with blocking FB duties being performed by Sean McHugh.  He did a rather good job which is yet another case of backups on this team outperforming the supposed starters.

In the third, Cincy finally got some offense going after the beautiful violence of the Blitzburgh Defense had pretty much stifled them all game. Their drive was aided by P Paul Ernster and his inability to kick anything but wounded ducks. I usually ignore kickers and concentrate on the real football players but I have to say Ernster is quickly becoming an embarrassment. One could argue the poor weather contributed to the lousy punting yesterday (Cincy’s kicker had a rough outing, too) but over two games now Ernster’s average has to be hovering around the 30 yard mark. How sad is it that the punter with the torn hammy kicked better than the punter with two healthy legs?

Anyway, Cincy took advantage of starting at midfield and drove the ball down to the 8. Once there, the Steelers benefited from Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis’s distinct lack of testicles when he kicked a FG on 4^th down. You play to win the game, Marvin.

On the subsequent drive, a heavy dose of Mewelde Moore, a clutch third down play (Ben broke free from a sack and scrambled to find a heads up Limas Sweed), and the game was sealed when Ben broke away from another would-be sacker and darted in for the score. It wasn’t always pretty and there is definitely more than one area that needs to be worked on but as I said in my preview Baby Steps.  With the cream puff section of their schedule over, the Steelers look toward games against NE, Dallas, and Tennessee, making now the time to put their best foot forward.

]]> http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/11/21/week-12-recap-ben-loves-to-score/feed/ 3 http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/11/20/ocho-cinco-benched-for-being-imbecile/ http://nicepickcowher.com/2008/11/20/ocho-cinco-benched-for-being-imbecile/#comments Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:18:18 +0000 chris http://nicepickcowher.com/?p=327 In late breaking news (stolen shamelessly from ESPN’s never-ending crawl of doom), the Bengals have deactivated star wide receiver/flamboyant showman/obnoxious twat Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco for tonight’s tilt against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The story posted on ESPN did not elaborate as to why the World’s Greatest Wide Receiver (who’s caught only 4 touchdowns) was banished [...]

Ocho Cinco Benched For Being Imbecile - Nice Pick, Cowher - Nice Pick, Cowher - A Pittsburgh Steelers Fan Site - News, Blogs, Opinion and more.

In late breaking news (stolen shamelessly from ESPN’s never-ending crawl of doom), the Bengals have deactivated star wide receiver/flamboyant showman/obnoxious twat Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco for tonight’s tilt against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The story posted on ESPN did not elaborate as to why the World’s Greatest Wide Receiver (who’s caught only 4 touchdowns) was banished to the bench except to say he “violated team rules.”

Speculation runs rampant on the blogosphere as to which rule Chad broke, although there are rumors it has something to do with him repeatedly referring to coach Marvin Lewis as “Jim Fassel.”  In the meantime, Ocho Stinko’s place will be taken by Chris Henry.  Because in Bengaland, missing a team meeting is so much worse than failed drug tests, DUIs, and beating the snot out of 16 year old kids.

Okay, the punk probably deserved it.  But still, only in Cincy would they punish a malcontent by replacing him with a criminal.

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What would we do without Philly?   Between their dumbass wide receiver spiking the ball a yard before he reached the end zone, their drug hoarding deadbeat dad of a coach, and their tubby quarterback who can’t run a hurry up offense without puking his guts all over the sideline, that team continues to be the NFL equivalent of an older brother who is fun to invite to parties but sadly still lives in our mother’s basement.

Anyway, in news related to the one team Pennsylvanians can be proud of, it’s the first double-dip of the season for the beloved Pittsburgh Steelers as the hated Cincinnati Bengals come to town for the second half of our annual two game set. Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a tie.

Since I already previewed the two teams, there’s no sense in repeating my brilliant and usually spot-on analysis. Instead, I’ll simply touch on issues relevant to the upcoming game.

Of course, the picture above is in reference to the Bengal’s tie against the Philadelphia Eagles, the first since the Steelers drew with the Dirty Birds back in ’02. I caught a bit of the game and it was less a hard fought battle and more a cripple fight. Philly didn’t seem too eager to win (although in Donavan McNabb’s case, he probably thought he had two or three more OTs to get the job done) while Cincy snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by shanking a 47 yard FG to win the game. Still, the fact the same fearsome Iggles team which handed us our worst loss of the season was battled to a standstill by Cincy should fill us with both fear and shame.

In fact, since we last saw the Bengals, they’ve actually started to play like a professional football team. They got crushed by Houston after losing to us but then went down to Jacksonville and beat the sissies in teal for their first win. Earlier in the year, they took the Giants team with only 1 loss and who beat us up into OT.  Despite the fact they’re a punchline to many jokes and this season will probably cost Marvin Lewis his job, they’re nowhere near as pathetic as say Oakland or Detroit.

To be fair, the 38-10 final score in our first game looks like a blowout but the game was a much closer battle than that. The Steelers were nursing a slim 3 point margin at halftime despite the fact Cincy QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was sacked every other play and they didn’t get into positive total yardage until the final drive of the half. Our offense didn’t perform much better until they figured out CB Jonathan Joseph couldn’t cover his mouth on a sneeze and beat him deep with Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington.

It’s a little perplexing how the Bengals have managed to stay in games. Harvard alum Fitzpatrick, frankly, stinks. He’s got the lowest QB Rating in the league (71.3!) and considering the talent this team has at WR, it’s amazing he only has 5 measly TD passes. They’ve all but given up on RB Chris Perry and handed main backfield duties to Bears castoff Cedric Benson. Chad Ocho Cinco has only quatro scoreos and is on pace for only about 500 total receiving yards. T.J. Houshalottaletters is one of the elite WRs in the league but that shouldn’t be enough to keep them competitive. But they have been.

The game will present an interesting match-up for the Steelers as 2/3 of the Three Amigos (Bryant McFadden and Deshea Townshend) will once again be inactive. Manly William Gay and Anthony Madison did a good job against San Diego last week although the weather helped a bit in that the Chargers speed in the vertical passing game was limited on the slippy chewed up field. Fernando Bryant looked shaky but he only had about 3 days of practice so if he does play on Thursday, let’s hope he’s a bit more up to speed. It looks the rest of the Blitzburgh D will be ready to go which is good news for those of us who enjoy seeing James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley chase QBs like a dog chasing a bone.

Offensively, it appears RG Darnell Stapleton will be good to go which means it’ll be the usual gang of idiots manning the OL. Well, LT Marvel Smith is listed as out, too, but at this point I think it’s safe to just give up on him permanently. Fast Willie Parker managed to play an entire game without incurring another injury so we might just have him in the starting line up for two consecutive games. Hooray for modern medical science and/or Oxycontin! FWP will be a big addition because Cincy has a horrible run defense which should allow him to pile up a good amount of yardage.

Despite the Bengals playing gamely in the face of certain doom and the historical fact of them tending to rise to the occasion when they play us, there really is no excuse for us to lose this game. A great offensive performance won’t mean much but it would be a baby step in the right direction. As the Steelers gear up for the final month of the season and, hopefully, a playoff run, bringing that offense along one baby step at a time should be one of the main goals each and every week.