James  Harrison makes a living hunting quarterbacks.   He spends his free time hunting buffalo. I’m not referring to the kind who roam Ralph Wilson Stadium in upstate New York.  I’m talking the big stinky 600 pound beasts who still populate certain portions of the United States and Canada.  While I spent the bye week sitting on my couch eating junk food, Harrison was hunting bison with a 50 caliber military sniper’s rifle.

This weekend, the Silverback and his Pittsburgh Steelers will be going after significantly smaller game when they face the Cleveland Browns.  Let’s face it, if the NFL were a lake, the Browns would be the guppy you threw back because it wasn’t worth your bait.  Although the Brownies have played shockingly well under the direction of quarterback Seneca Wallace.   His ankle injury was a huge blow to whatever slim chances they would have this Sunday.

Furthermore, the walking turnover machine that used to be known as Jake Delhomme also suffered a high ankle sprain last weekend.  It appears that neither quarterback will be healthy enough to start so the Browns will be turning the offense over to rookie Colt McCoy.

Sunday probably can’t come soon enough for Harrison and Mister Woodley.

Let’s take a look at what Dick LeBeau and his defense does to young inexperienced QBs.  I’ve looked over the past few seasons and found eight QBs with less than one year (16 games) of starting experience who started against the Steelers.  Here’s how they performed:

Not pretty, is it?   Needless to say, every one of those games was a win for the Steelers except against Clemens.  He and his Jets somehow managed to pull off an overtime win.

Throwing a rookie quarterback making his first career start to the Steelers D is like throwing fresh ground hamburger into a lion’s cage.  I would almost feel sorry for poor Colt except you see what his wife looks like.  Oh, and the fact he plays for the Browns.

It’s 1979 all over again.

On Friday night, the Pittsburgh Penguins won a heart-stopping Game 7 victory over the Detroit Red Wings to earn the prestigious Stanley Cup.

The route taken by the young Pens was somewhat reminiscent of the march the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers made to a championship. Both teams suffered through disappointing regular seasons. Both had to put together spectacular late season runs to even make the playoffs (In the Pens case, they won 18 of their final 26 games). They then had to battle the best their conference had to offer to even make the finals. And in the end, they both had to survive a close hard-fought finale.

This victory isn’t only special for the Pens and their legion of fans, a certain whistle-cranking ex-yinzer down in Carolina not included. This victory also marks the first time in professional sports history that one city has won the Lombardi Trophy and Lord Stanley’s Cup in the same year. This harkens back to 1979 when Pittsburgh double dipped with the Steelers and Pirates both winning titles in their respective sports.

I was five when that happened so my memories are hazy at best. I’ve heard the stories and remember the moniker but never thought I would see a double championship by my teams again. The odds against it are just too great. Then again, I live in Pittsburgh, the greatest sports city on earth, so maybe I should’ve had faith.

In my lifetime our teams have won 6 Super Bowls, 3 Stanley Cups, 2 World Series, had a #1 ranked NCAA Basketball team, and earned 1 National College Football Championship. Think about poor pitiful cities like Cleveland, who never win anything, or Philadelphia, whose four combined teams win one title approximately every 30 years. I’m almost tempted to feel sorry for them but then I realize they chose to live in those hellholes so they get what they deserve.

And speaking of deserving, does any team deserve this title more than the Pens? For Sidney Crosby it’s a culmination of a life’s dream. For Evgeni Malkin it’s a reward for a guy who literally had to run away from home in order to play in the NHL. And it’s sweet justice for Mario Lemieux, who saved hockey in this town not once, not twice, but THREE times.  First by coming here as an 18-year-old superstar, then by buying the team when it was mired in bankruptcy, and just recently when backwater cities like Kansas City and Hamilton tried to poach our team.  A heartfelt thanks goes out to them and the rest of the team that provided such excitement in the time between glorious Steeler seasons.

Let it be said, Pittsburgh is once again the City of Champions.

I asked for babes in bikini tops. Instead we get crazies in Lucha masks. I love Steeler Nation.

And Steeler Nation loves their Pittsburgh Steelers, who convincingly defeated the San Diego Chargers 35-24 in yesterday’s Divisional Playoff. The game wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicates as the Steelers were in cruise control for almost an entire quarter. In fact, San Diego didn’t show much beyond their opening possession, a brilliant one-handed catch by WR Vincent Jackson who had CB Ike Taylor sticking to him tighter than a wet t-shirt on Scarlett Johansson.

Offensive Coordinator Bruce Arians was possessed by the spirit of Ron Earhardt as the Steelers’ game plan completely reverted back to classic Steeler Football instead of the pass happy pseudo-West Coast attack that had been sputtering all season. They ran the ball, you may want to sit down for this, a whopping 46 times. Fast Willie Parker looked like the FWP of old while rushing for 146 yards and 2 touchdowns. They even went back to the I Formation, which Fast Willie whined about several weeks back drawing criticism from head coach Mike Tomlin. Looks like FWP was right.

QB Ben Roethlisberger showed no ill effects from having his brains scrambled in the season finale against Cleveland. He was sharp and accurate with his passes, throwing for only 181 yards but making the plays when they needed to be made. His performance in the third quarter when he made several big third-and-long conversions was a perfect example of his steady leadership. Everybody contributed on the receiving end with Heath Miller scoring the back-breaking touchdown, Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington drawing a big pass interference penalty, and Hines Ward (who really needs to be recognized as a Big Game Player) hauling in 4 for 70, all of which were key catches to keep drives alive.

And then there’s Santonio Holmes. The Steelers return game is below average at best but Holmes picked his spot well. His punt return TD was Pittsburgh’s first score of the game and it appeared to be a very deflating blow to a San Diego team which had been quietly confident up until that point. It was only his second return TD of his career but it was the match which ignited the blast furnace.

Let’s also give some props to the much maligned offensive line. Ben wasn’t so much as coughed on yesterday. The Chargers had 1 sack but that came on a blitz where RB Mewelde Moore failed to pick up the extra pass rusher. The five big boys up front provided a perfect pocket, plenty of time to throw the ball, and gaping holes for the run game.

The third quarter of yesterday’s game was one of the most amazing things you’ll ever see as a football fan. The Chargers ran one play. That’s it. Fifteen minutes, one play. The Steelers, utilizing a ball control grind-it-out offense that we’ve been clamoring for, pounded out an 8 minute drive resulting in a TD. The Chargers got a great return out of midget Darren Sproles and looked like they got some momentum back starting at the Steelers 35. The one and only play was a ball batted skyward by Brett Keisel (who is emerging as a very good player) and picked off by both James Harrison and Larry Foote. The Steelers then ground out another drive which took them to the 4th quarter.

Speaking of the defense, what can I say? Simply the most devastating unit in the NFL. They took media darling Sproles and held the shrimp to a measly 15 yards rushing. FIFTEEN YARDS! He had 300+ last week! They sacked Philip Rivers four times, two of which were courtesy of Mister LaMarr Woodley. Silverback only had one but that was likely because they were mugging him on every play. The Chargers had 280 yards of total offense but close to 100 of that was amassed after the Steelers went up 28-10 and started playing a semi-prevent defense.

On a weekend when every home team coming off a bye lost, the Steelers took care of business on their home turf. Not only did they win, they won emphatically, showing improvement in areas they struggled with during the regular season while continuing to play well in the areas which they have always excelled. Get your bikini tops and Lucha masks ready because the AFC Championship game is coming to Pittsburgh next Sunday. The Steelers look ready, are you?

For fifteen minutes during yesterday’s 31-0 destruction of the hapless Cleveland Browns, the world stood still.

Steelers’ quarterback Ben Roethlisberger lay motionless on the sloppy tundra of Heinz Field with a crowd of trainers, teammates, and medical personnel around him.  When I say motionless, I mean not so much as his pinky finger appeared to be moving.  Then, in a scene reminiscent of Jason Street’s ill-fated tackle on “Friday Night Lights,” they slowly removed his facemask before carting him off the field.  Ben did manage a weak Thumbs Up to the crowd as he disappeared into the tunnel but I doubt anybody was feeling very optimistic at that point.

In the aftermath of this colossal disaster, tests revealed Ben suffered a mild concussion.  To which I call B.S.  Minor concussions are when you stumble off the field thinking you’re back at Miami of Ohio, not when you’re immobilized and ambulanced to the hospital.  Not to mention this is Ben’s third or fourth concussion since his motorcycle accident.  It’s a known fact that once you have a serious head injury, it becomes easier to be concussed in the future.  At this point, you have to be concerned about his long term durability when you’re only in year five and already have four concussions.   Steve Young retired due to concussion syndrome after only suffering from three (that he knew of).

The Steelers are circling the wagons on this one.  The team shills doctors are claiming Ben could possibly be at practice this week.  They appear to have no doubt he’ll be ready for the playoffs in two weeks.  Mike Tomlin has already come out saying he has absolutely no regrets about playing his starters.  To which I have to ask:

ARE YOU INSANE?

I like Tomlin.  I think he’s a smart coach.  But he has a disturbing habit of refusing to admit mistakes.  Like, oh say, putting your franchise quarterback in peril in a meaningless game right before the playoffs are about to begin.  Let’s review the logic at play here.

BEN IS A WALKING INJURY REPORT WITH A BAD HAND, SEPARATED SHOULDER, AND SPRAINED KNEE.

THE GAME MEANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

THE OFFENSIVE LINE IS LEAKIER THAN THE LOUSIANA LEVEES AFTER KATRINA.

Sorry for all the shouting but I am totally baffled by the reasoning behind playing Ben in the first place.  Where is the upside?   It worked for the Giants last year but they had a healthy quarterback and an O-line that didn’t allow 8 sacks per game.  Use your damn head, Tomlin.

Anyway, the rest of the game was only slightly above a preseason game in Tijuana in terms of excitement and intensity.  When QB Dennis Dixon gets in a game, you know it means less than nothing.  Fast Willie Parker finally looked like Fast Willie Parker in rushing for 116 yards, highlighted by a sweet 34 yard scamper in the first quarter.  The defense had 3 sacks and 2 INTs (one returned for a TD by Tyrone Carter) in limiting the mighty Browns to 126 yards of total offense.

But the story of this game begins and ends with #7 lying motionless on the turf.  Let’s hope that’s not some sort of omen of things yet to come.

Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin‘s weekly Q&A was interrupted by Old Saint Nick yesterday.  Actually, it was a beat writer by the name of Bill Di Fabio impersonating the jolly elf in what is evidently a yearly tradition.  Like any good mall Santa, Di Fabio apparently performed his duties after imbibing a generous quantity of spiked egg nog.  Allegedly his schtick amused ex-coach Bill Cowher but watching his incredibly lame attempts at humor make me applaud Tomlin’s decree that Santa will slide down press conference chimneys no more.

Yep, you can see how seriously we’re taking this week’s 2008 season finale against the Cleveland Browns.

Another reason I’m impressed with Tomlin is he obviously learns from history.  Last year, the Steelers had a meaningless game against the Baltimore Ravens the final week of the season.  He chose to rest all his starters and play only the B team.  This strategy paid off in a one-and-done playoff exit at the hands of the blind referees Jacksonville Jaguars.  Meanwhile the New York Giants, with a similarly meaningless game and facing a long three road game march through the playoffs, played all their starters in a valiant bid to ruin the Patriots’ perfect season which the did four weeks later in the Super Bowl.

With that in mind, Tomlin has said every able-bodied player will suit up and play this Sunday.  That means Ben Roethlisberger, Willie Parker, and James Harrison will likely all see action.  The only serious injury to a starter I’m aware of is S Ryan Clark, who has a separated shoulder and probably won’t return until the playoffs.  Obviously, I expect Harrison and Parker to be rotated with Lawrence Timmons and Mewelde Moore a bit more than usual but it doesn’t look like anybody will be getting the week off.

Not that we need an all-star lineup to deal with the Brownies.  They’re dealing with their own little incident this week when backup DE Shaun Smith decked smug metrosexual QB Brady Quinn.  They allege this incident took place in the weight room but personally, I suspect it began in the showers and had something to do with a soap being dropped.  But I could be wrong.

What I am right about is the Browns will be starting their fourth QB this year, Seton-La Salle High product Bruce Gradkowski.  With both Quinn and Derek Anderson out with season-ending injuries, Ken Dorsey has proven woefully ineffective even by Cleveland standards as they’ve failed to score a touchdown for something like four games.  Cue the Pittsburgh-native cavalry, who started 11 games for Tampa Bay as a rookie back in 2006, posting a rather pitiful 3-8 record (including a whooping by the Steelers where he tossed three picks).

My cousins, Lexi and Taylor, actually met Gradkowski a couple years back when he was giving motivational speeches to local middle schools.  Knowing I love football, they thoughtfully decided to ask for his autograph for me.  While I appreciate their sentiment, I expect my personalized Bruce Gradkowski rookie card will continue to be worth slightly less than my Kevin Polcovich signed mini-bat for many years to come.

Then again, this is Christmukkah.  The season of giving.  And everybody knows the spirit of giving is far more important than the actual product being gifted.  Or at least that’s what Christmas specials tell me.  So as I sit down on Sunday and watch the miserable Browns play this miserable game which means nothing to either team, I’ll remember to be thankful for all the joy and excitement the Steelers have given me this year.

And to all my readers, even those of you who never leave comments (I know who you are), thank you for reading and best wishes for Happy Holidays and a great New Year.