Nice Pick, Cowher » cooley

Week 9 Recap: Dancing On The Ceiling

chris — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 07:18:52 +0000

That’s a Lionel Richie reference, son.

You know, ‘cause he kinda looks like Nicole’s dad. Too old for you kids? I’ll try to be a little more hip.

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

And I feel fine.

What could possibly have a member of Steeler Nation thinking about the end of the world? What catastrophe could turn a person’s outlook so bleak? What disaster would lead to such depths of despair?

QB Ben Roethlisberger was seriously injured in last night’s 23-6 victory over the Washington Redskins. Preliminary reports are he fully separated his right shoulder on a goal line dive at the end of the first half. He rushed to the locker room, hip checking a defenseless and slightly anorexic Redskin cheerleader in the process, then stood on the sidelines for the rest of the game, his right arm hanging limply at his side. Ben’s a tough guy who plays through a lot of pain but I’m pretty sure he’s missing at least one game considering he couldn’t even lift the arm above his waist when congratulating teammates.

And you want to hear something crazy? I don’t care.

Backup QB Byron Leftwich came on in relief and to say he looked good is a colossal understatement. Whereas other poorly run franchises have lost their star QBs and had to trot out the inept likes of Brad Johnson or Ryan Fitzpatrick, the Steelers turned the reins over to a guy who not only can play but play well. I have no idea what the 31 other GMs in the NFL were thinking when training camp rolled around with Leftwich out of work but that explains why a lot of lousy teams continue to be lousy year after year.

Let’s start at the beginning. Head coach Mike Tomlin began the game with an onside kick which went doubly awry as we didn’t recover and were offside on the play. That set the ‘Skins up on our 40. I’m not really a fan of crazy gambles although in this case I applaud Tomlin’s call. When you have such a devastating force as the Blitzburgh Defense at your command, you can take a few chances. Indeed, Washington went three and out then kicked a chintzy FG for a quick lead.

This pattern continued throughout the first half as the Steeler D just absolutely stifled the vaunted Redskin offense. QB Jason Campbell was under duress every time he dropped back. Every one of our LBs and DE Aaron Smith had a sack, finishing the game with a season high 7. RB Clinton Portis, who had been averaging over 5 yards/carry this season, was stuffed like a fat kid on Halloween, finishing the game with a meager 51 yards (22 of which came on one bad play). Other than TE Chris Cooley being open on dinky-dunk short check down stuff, the WRs were blanketed all game. At halftime, the Washington offense had amassed a whopping 71 total yards.

Which would’ve been great except our offense only amassed a whopping 71 total yards. To be frank, our offense in the first half was atrocious. Remember how I said our showings against the Eagles and Giants were bad? Next verse same as the first. Big Ben looked completely confused and out-of-sorts today. He had happy feet and never seemed comfortable with what he was doing. He’d miss wide open receivers, he’d shuffle back and forth unsure of whether to run or stay put, he made several poor throws (one of which should’ve been a Pick-6) and he’d hold on to the ball too long when given time. Only his touchdown plunge which came after a blocked punt by special teams ace Andre Frazier kept the first half from being a total loss.

But the offensive crappiness can’t all be placed on Ben’s sore shoulders. When he did manage to get the ball to the WRs, they kept dropping the passes. I’m not sure when this allergy to pigskin started but it contributed to Roethlisberger starting the game 1 for 9. Worse yet was our playcalling. I know bitching about O-coordinator Bruce Arians is getting old but so are his horrific game plans. Pothole Willie Parker finally returned to the field and looked good, made his cuts, and showed that burst he’s known for. Awesome except for the fact Arians seemed intent on passing every down instead of establishing any sort of running game. He’d give Parker a carry and unless he broke a 8-9 yard gainer, it was pass pass and then pass some more. Establishing a running game means giving your star RB more than 10 scattered carries per half, Arians.

Then the second half began and it was like a totally different team in Black and Gold emerged from that locker room. With the backup QB in there, Arians was forced to focus more on the run. This made the D cheat up more to counter Parker and opened up the Tiffin Thunderbolt Nate Washington for one of his patented Long Bombers. Leftwich was coolly efficient as when he felt pressure he either stepped up and fired or stood in the pocket and absorbed the hit in order to deliver the ball down the field. Say what you want about his Carlos Zambrano-like delivery, the man has a cannon. With FWP and Mewelde Moore providing ground support and Lord Byron firing bullets all over the field, the offense finally clicked.

Two nice drives capped by TDs put the game out of reach for the overmatched Redskin offense. Our defense held them to 200 total yards, at least 1/4 of which was gained during garbage time. Honestly, it was like bringing an Uzi to a knife fight. Best of all, our secondary picked off Lionel Jr. twice, finally putting an end to his Zero INTs streak so whatever terrible announcers work the game next week can shut up about that one.

Obviously, we’ll all be glued to the news and papers awaiting word on the severity of Ben’s injury. We owe a lot of this year’s success to his heroics and I wouldn’t for a second want to diminish his ability or what he means to our team. However, I think if he’s hurting and that is going to limit his effectiveness, then he should be willing to step aside for a week or two, get himself healthy (or healthier) and not come back until he can play up to his usual level. It’s pretty clear that Byron Leftwich is capable of filling in more than adequately and I don’t know about you but 100% of Lefty appears to be vastly preferable to 50% of Big Ben. Tomlin had the guts to call for the fake punt, let’s see if he has the grapefruits to do what Bill Cowher was never willing to do: tell Ben Roethlisberger to take a week off for the good of the team.

Week 9 Preview: Steelers vs. Redskins

chris — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:49:00 +0000

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How would you like those pointed at you?

Evidently those tricky Washington Redskins use their cheerleaders for more than simple team spirit. It has been reported that the Redskins have their cheerleaders bend and stretch in the visitor’s tunnel prior to the start of each home game. Obviously they think the sight of scantily clad gals in compromising positions is enough to mentally throw their opponents off their game. Okay, it’d probably work on me.

I have to give Washington credit. No other team has thought to whore out their women like this. Sure, several use them as goodwill ambassadors within the community and several produce swimsuit or lingerie calendars but this is the first time I’ve heard of them being utilized as actual on-field weapons. I’d imagine the Philadelphia squad is also used as a distraction although they confine their work to the players’ hotel rooms and money usually changes hands afterwards.

STEELER DEFENSE vs. REDSKINS OFFENSE

First year head coach Jim Zorn has worked miracles with third year quarterback Jason Cambell. He’s adapted very well to the Seattle Seahawks style West Coast offense his coach brought with him. This is the offense that made a mediocre QB like Matt Hasselbeck into an All-Pro so it does have its advantages. The offense leans toward dinking and dunking and when it’s firing on all cylinders even the deep ball is working. So expect the typical WCO stuff, with zone run blocking, bootlegs, quick slants, etc.

Campbell has a big arm, pretty decent pocket presence, and is tough to bring down. Last year he struggled badly with his accuracy, particularly on short and intermediate passes and pretty much got by through throwing the ball to TE Chris Cooley or going deep. In fact, the Redskins didn’t have a wide receiver catch a touchdown until week 10. Fortunately, Campbell played in a West Coast offense in Auburn his final year and had a great season so people should’ve known he’d thrive in the new system. This year he’s the only full-time NFL starter to have not thrown a single interception.

Their playmaker on offense is Santana Moss. He still scares opposing D-Coordinators to death, but teams with somewhat disciplined Cover 2 packages can negate him. He has always had problems with staying healthy or he’d be talked about in the T.O. or Randy Moss category for sure. Old friend Antwaan Randle El is a mediocre threat at receiver and is best as the #3 guy who can return punts. I miss having him on the Steelers but they’re paying him #2/borderline #1 WR money for a guy not at that level. Both guys are threats on special teams which is worth noting as this week the Steelers are going with a good Polish boy by the name of Jared Retkofsky as their new long-snapper and allowing gimpy Mitch Berger to punt with a sore hammy. Hopefully these guys won’t factor in the outcome of the game.

The left side of the O-Line is extremely strong. I like to refer to Chris Samuels as the “Jay Bell of Left Tackles” as he’s not flashy nor does he have eye popping athleticism, but’s he’s just a great left tackle. Pete Kendall continues to be excellent and is a great technician. Randy Thomas is good if he’s healthy. He just doesn’t have that unbelievable athleticism, which prevents him from being the best guard in the business.

Last week, our run defense held strong against a very good ground team. Aaron Smith was his usual dominant run-stuffing self and the return of Fatboy Hampton helped clog up the middle. They’ll need another good game as the Redskins lean heavily on the run in the form of superstar RB Clinton Portis. One reason Campbell has managed to stay out of trouble this year is support on the ground. Remove that support and let’s see if the kid can carry the team all by himself.

Of course, the danger there is our secondary will be weaker than it has been all season. CB Bryant McFadden is still nursing his broken arm and S Ryan Clark is out indefinitely with a separated shoulder. The good news is Tyrone Carter will start in place of Clark, much to the chagrin of Anthony Smith. Somebody should tell Anthony that when it comes to starting for the Steelers, there are no guarantees. *cough*

STEELER OFFENSE vs. REDKSINS DEFENSE

In 2004 and 2005, the Skins blitzed an absurd amount of the time and it created a defense that reeked havoc on opposing offenses. Then in 2006 the Skins had to stop blitzing as the secondary was getting torched. In 2007, Gregg Williams went to an extremely conservative Cover 2 scheme with the safeties playing 20-25 yards away from the line of scrimmage. However, it worked out quite well as the Skins actually finished 14 spots higher in overall pass defense than in the previous year.

The Skins big problem on defense is their inability to sack the QB. They only had 19 sacks in 2006 and improved to 33 sacks in 2007. To that end, they made the trade to bring in Jason “Twinkle Toes” Taylor in order to provide even more firepower to an already stacked D-line. Unfortunately, spinning the babely Julianna Hough around and around must’ve taken too much out of ‘ol Jason because he’s battled injuries all season and is currently listed as doubtful for Monday.

That’s great news for the Steelers as without him, their pass rush goes from mediocre to almost non-existent. Pass protection, as we all know, is to the Steelers what Kryptonite is to Superman. With this match-up, there appears to be a good chance Ben Roethlisberger will have the time to give the field his usual thorough look-see before he decides to part with his precious football.

The Steelers expect Pothole Willie Parker to finally take the field after setbacks the past two weeks. He’s practiced regularly this week and looks good to go. The team seems to be hedging a bit on his return, likely due to the excellent work turned in by backup Mewelde Moore but the time has come for FWP to get back into the swing of things.

Also helping will be the return of WR Santonio Holmes. Holmes will be back in the starting lineup after being sat for a week over a bogus pot bust. What’s amazing to me, besides the hypocrisy of the situation, is that no other team sits their players over issues like that. The Jaguars started Matt Jones the same week he was inducted on COCAINE charges. Jerry Jones was happy to have Pacman take the field days after he beat up his babysitter. Damn those Rooneys and their morality.

Washington’s corners did pretty well against the #2 and #3 WRs, but finished 20th against #1 WRs last year. The starters are Fred Smoot and Shawn Springs. Springs should be fine, but he does have an injury history and is 34 years old. I’m not a big fan of Smoot and if they change the style of defense and have Smoot play further off the line of scrimmage it will be a disaster. Carlos Rogers is supposed to come back during the middle of the season after suffering a bad knee injury. Reed Doughty is serviceable, but they lose a lot of range with him in there in place of the late Sean Taylor. Laron Landry didn’t have the greatest pass defense statistics last year but he came along well as the season progressed and should be a keeper.

They say you can’t go home again. A cliché, sure, but that statement held true of the Washington Redskins under the return of legendary head coach Joe Gibbs. After a quick playoff exit last year, Gibbs went back to cheating at Nascar. It was thought that Gibb’s Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams would be the replacement, but he had burned some bridges with the higher ups and went to Jacksonville to take over the same position. The reality is that owner Danny Snyder wanted former Giants head coach Jim Fassel but Skins fans were outraged by the pick. The Skins then looked towards Steve Mariucci, who was also widely rejected by the fans. With no other options and Bill Cowher not interested in working for a tool, they wound up taking the man they hired as the offensive coordinator, Jim Zorn, gave him the “young brilliant assistant coach” line and made him the head coach.

On Monday night, I guess we’ll see how brilliant he actually is. Oh, and a few shots of the cheerleaders would be nice too.