Hug it out, Bitch.

In my recap of the Pittsburgh Steelers utter domination of the hapless Cincinnati Bengals, I noted defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau ripping superstar Troy Polamalu a new one for attempting a boneheaded lateral after his game-sealing interception.  A few moments later they hugged it out so it’s all good.  Turns out Coach Dad didn’t need to waste his time.  When reporters conducted a post-game interview, our Hall of Fame bound safety was nearly in tears over his silly mistake.

Quoth Troy:

First and foremost, I want to apologize for that play.  It was incredibly arrogant and selfish and foolish of me.  I represent something bigger than myself … my faith, my family, and this team.  I’ll try not to ever let that happen again.

From the Skippy Manifesto to James Harrison‘s clumsy attempt to explain he likes hurting people, not injuring them, this has been a banner year for Steeler quotes.  But this may be the most amazing one of all.  You seldom hear a player admit he blew a coverage or ran the wrong route.  Troy is apologizing for the play WHICH WON THE GAME.

Terrell Owens dropped a big pass late in the game.  Did he apologize?  Of course not, he blamed Carson Palmer instead.  Eagles wide receiver Desean Jackson pulled one of the biggest dick moves of the season on his 91 yard touchdown catch on Sunday night.  Did he apologize for his antics?  Why should he when ESPN will air it 538 times over the next week?

Florida Gators fans went nuts when Tim Tebow made a heartfelt speech after an embarrassing loss to Ole Miss.  “The Promise” has since been immortalized by a plaque outside the team’s home, Griffin Stadium.  No offense to one of the finest role models in all of sports but Troy’s apology is even more deserving of such an honor.  Unlike so many prima donna athletes in this Me First era, he clearly understands the importance of being a man of faith and a Pittsburgh Steeler.  His words should serve as a shining example of what it means to be a true hero.

When the Philadelphia Eagles made the surprise pick of Houston QB Kevin Kolb, it appeared that 2007 would be the end of the Donovan McNabb era. While McNabb has had a great career in Philly, it’s been filled with controversy and he has missed 15 games in the last three seasons due to injury.  In a story which will sound familiar to Steeler fans, McNabb repeatedly failed to advance his team past the NFC Championship game and then played poorly in his lone Super Bowl appearance, thus leading to questions about his ability to win the Big Game.

Last year, McNabb’s knee was healthy enough to play, but wasn’t healthy enough to make him feel comfortable early on. The Eagles were also not helped by the keen eye of former Redskins defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, who saw that the Eagles receivers struggled badly against corners who bumped off the line of scrimmage. The normally efficient Eagles offense wound up finishing 17th in points per game.

As the season progressed, McNabb got more and more comfortable with his knee, but it was still too late to turn things around and the offense was still inconsistent at best. They wound up winning the last three games of the year to turn in an 8-8 record.  Still, for all intents and purposes THIS season looks to be one last hurrah for head coach Andy Reid and McNabb as similar to the Favre/Rodgers situation in Green Bay, the trigger will have to be pulled on the Kolb era fairly soon.

STEELERS DEFENSE VS. EAGLES OFFENSE

McNabb’s game has changed over the years. He started out being the type of quarterback that could excel if he had the right receivers.  Now it seems like, while he could definitely use some receivers, it’s more important that the O-Line protect him because he’s become more accurate with the ball and better at reading defenses but doesn’t have the mobility he once did.  He doesn’t throw a lot of interceptions because when he misses his throws, he usually misses them low.

For all of the talk of Andy Reid relying on the running game more, the Eagles still threw the ball 58% of the time. In fact, Reid’s teams have thrown the ball an average of 57% of the time throughout his career, regardless of depth at WR. Here’s a look at the percentage of time the Eagles have thrown the ball during Reid’s tenure:

2007…………………… 58%
2006…………………… 57%
2005…………………… 63%
2004…………………… 59%
2003…………………… 54%
2002…………………… 53%
2001…………………… 56%
2000…………………… 59%
1999…………………… 53%

Those number can be slightly deceiving, however, as a big reason why the Eagles pass so much is that Reid is a big fan of the screen pass play which, for them, functions almost the same as a handoff would on another team.

The offense actually has not revolved around McNabb for awhile. Instead, it’s revolved around RB Brian Westbrook.  He’s not good enough to be a receiver and he’s not good enough to be a chain-moving running back but he’s athletic enough to do a little bit of both.  He’s the “real” Reggie Bush in that he does everything that Bush was expected to do coming out of college.

The key to curbing Westbrook’s effectiveness is to stick a cornerback on him or use multiple spies on him to follow him around the field.  As I said, Westbrook doesn’t excel in any one area but he’s a decent runner, a great screen receiver, and they even split him out at wide receiver, all of which creates match-up problems galore.  Last week, Steelers LB Mister Lamarr Woodley didn’t look very good when assigned to cover TE Kellen Winslow and he’s probably the fastest backer we got.  Lawrence Timmons has the raw athletic ability to be an intriguing spy but he doesn’t start.  I have no idea who defensive coordinator Dick Lebeau plans to use against him but he better have one helluva scheme cooked up or it’ll be a long day.

Beyond that, the Eagles feature a rather mediocre corps of receivers.  Kevin Curtis’ numbers are not as hot as they look on paper. He only had 80+ yards receiving in 3 games. Of course 221 of those yards came against an awful Lions defense, 121 yards came against the awful Jets defense, and 111 yards came against the Vikings, who also had a weak pass defense. He struggled heavily against teams with corners who could play the bump and run like Washington, where he only had 7 catches for 48 yards in both games against the Skins. Reggie Brown wasn’t any better against the bump and run. So what Reid did was load the receivers up on one side and force the opposing defense to play more zone coverage. While that may seem like a nice solution, it makes the offense pretty one dimensional.  Class Dunce DeSean Jackson can stretch the field and return punts. However, Jackson lacks size and is a big enough moron that some clever work from wily vets like CB Ike Taylor and Troy Polamalu should keep him fairly quiet.

STEELERS OFFENSE VS EAGLES DEFENSE

Philly employs a 4-3 scheme that is designed to play a variety of coverage packages, so they are very typical of a lot of 4-3 schemes in that they go after speed and sacrifice size to get that speed. They usually play Cover shells 1-3 and d-coordinator Jim Johnson is one of the at best throwing blitzes, stunts, and twists at you until the cows come home.  Because they rely on quicks instead of beef, they are very reliant on having depth up front.  Even with all of their starters in place, if the backups are weak this defense can struggle. That’s why the Eagles draft a defensive tackle just about every year and go after players like Darren Howard (who can play both DE and DT) and Chris Clemons (who can play LB and DE).

Trent Cole is the gem of the defensive line as he’s electric on the field. He’s a bit like the Giants’ Osi Umenyiora in that he’s weaker against the run than going after the passer, so good run blocking offensive tackles can give him problems. Also like Umenyiora, he’ll have these games where he’s absolutely on fire and looks like the best defensive end in football.  They’ll rotate the other DTs heavily and look out for rookie Trevor Laws, who was one of the lone standouts last year at Notre Dame.

QB Ben Roethlisberger is hurting.  Nobody knows how badly, especially not Andrea Kramer.  The best medicine for what ails him would be feeding a steady diet of Fast Willie Parker to the Eagles.  There should definitely be running room and nothing would be better than 30+ carries for Willie and only 15 pass attempts or so for Ben.  Hopefully Tomlin will let RB Rashard Mendenhall out of the dog house so he can chip in with a few carries, as well.

The Eagles only finished with 11 interceptions last year.  The Eagles stress turnovers more than most defenses because they are trying to get off the field as quickly as possible. They planned to trade Lito Sheppard this offseason but he’s still there, along with future starter Sheldon Brown. They also signed free agent Asante Samuel who has had 16 picks over the last two seasons. Samuel was tremendous in 2006 so they threw at him a little less in 2007 which explains while he had a decent passes defended %, he only had six picks. The Eagles like to play a little more man-to-man than Samuel played in New England so he may have some difficulty making that transition but will nevertheless continue his ball-hawking ways.  None of these guys looked particularly impressive last Monday as the Cowboys went up and down the field like they were playing Madden Football ’08.   If Ben’s sore shoulder can hold up, there should be plays there to be made.

The Eagles are a strange team because once you think you know how well they will play, they go out and do the exact opposite. For years I thought the Eagles were doomed after watching teams destroy them by running the ball against the defense and negating their blitz. But the Eagles wound up winning and winning.  When it appeared the Eagles defense was going to be unstoppable (i.e. 2005), they played lousy and all of the flaws in Andy Reid’s game plan became apparent.  They crushed a hapless Rams team in week 1 and gave the mighty Cowboys a competitive game last Monday night.  They definitely have the firepower to give the Steelers fits but their lack of quality talent on defense is going to make things difficult when they play good teams.  If the Steeler line can impose their will in the running game and the defense can keep them in third-and-long situations, those might just be the keys to a victory.

Our true natural rival should be our cross-state counter parts, the Philadelphia Eagles.  Sure we play them in the Battle of Pennsylvania every preseason but who cares about the preseason?  If not for the fact we play one meaningful game every 4-5 years, the rivalry between our two cities would be unmatched.   In fact, there’s still a pretty healthy dose of antagonism between the Steel City and the City of Brothers on Crack Brotherly Love without the added dimension of sports.With that in mind, here are 5 reasons why the Pittsburgh Steelers absolutely positively cannot lose to the Iggles this Sunday.

#5:  Our players aren’t idiots.

The above video shows Eagles WR Desean Jackson celebrating his touchdown catch this past Monday night.  Unfortunately for Desean, he celebrated about a yard and a half before he scored the touchdown.  Luckily for him, the team got the ball back and managed to score on the next play.   It still doesn’t erase the fact he’s one of the biggest tools to ever set foot on a field.

Contrast that with our players.  When Hines Ward caught two touchdowns against the Texans, did he spike the ball, thump his chest, and do the Superman?  No, he handed the balls to some guy in the front row wearing a XXXL #86 jersey.

When Willie Parker scores, does he launch into a choreographed set of hip hop moves like he’s auditioning to be one of Justin Timberlake’s backup dancers?  No, he flips the ball to the ref and goes about his business.  Does Big Ben jump around and pump his fists like he’s never thrown a TD pass before?   Of course not, he’s too busy congratulating his teammates.

Jackson isn’t the first self-promoting idiot employed by the Philthydelphia Eagles.  They used to have a guy by the name of Terrell Owens.  Perhaps you’ve heard of him.  He takes self-indulgent jackassery to new levels on a weekly basis with his ridiculous touchdown celebrations.  And before T.O. brought his circus to town, the Eagles were coached by Buddy Ryan.  Ryan went to the Bill Belichick school of “Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat” coaching.   He would encourage his players to take cheap shots on opposing players and even put bounties on other team’s star players.  Yep, only the classiest of the classy get to wear Eagle green.

#4:  Our local cuisine is better than their local cuisine.

Philly is, of course, known for the invention of the cheesesteak sandwich.  This is a fine contribution to American culture and one which I am personally thankful for.  However, the only problem with claiming “ownership” of this culinary masterpiece is you can literally go into any bar, pub, or sub shop in any place from Tampa, Florida to Bumfuck, Alaska and order a cheesesteak sandwich.

Pittsburgh is famous for, and the only home of, Primanti Brothers fry-topped sandwiches.  They have an entire menu of unique concoctions, such as the Roethlisberger, the cole slaw slathered monstrosity you see pictured here.  Take it from me, one bite of the Big Ben will make your taste buds sing and your toilet cry for days.

#3:  Our football hero is more heroic than their football hero.

Marky Mark, best known for underwear ads and the Funky Bunch, recently starred in a movie about the short lived football career of Vince Papale.  Papale was a 30-year-old bartender who attended the Eagles open try-outs back in 1976 and made the team.  The movie was a sappy piece of fluff which was supposedly about the triumph of the human spirit, the will to live your dreams, and a bunch of other inspirational crap Disney likes to peddle.

The unfortunate thing is most of it was untrue.  In the movie, they showed Papale scoring a dramatic touchdown.  He never evem sniffed the endzone.  In fact, he spent most of his 3 NFL seasons hurt and not playing.  When he did play, he was just one of the taxi squad on special teams.  Is his story interesting?  Sure.  But the story of a guy who made the team only to catch ONE pass his entire “career” isn’t exactly the stuff of legends.

Now if you want to talk true legends, you have to talk about Rocky Bleier.  Back in 1969, Rocky was on patrol in a Vietnam rice paddy when he was shot in the left thigh during an ambush.  While down, an enemy grenade landed nearby, littering his right leg with shrapnel. He was awarded a Purple Heart and Bronze Star although all he ever really wanted was a Super Bowl ring.   That seemed unlikely as doctors told him that he would be lucky to walk, never mind play professional football again.

But Rocky did play again.  In fact, he worked his way back into the starting line-up as the blocking back for RB Franco Harris.  In 1976, he even rushed for 1,000 yards.  Oh and Rocky did get his Super Bowl ring.  Plus, in 1980, he had a tv-movie made about his life starring Robert Urich of “Spenser For Hire” fame.

Now both stories are nice and uplifting.  But the Rock played 11 years, had 3,865 rushing yards, 136 receptions for 1,294 yards, and scored 25 touchdowns.  Comparing him to some schmuck who played sparingly in parts of 3 seasons while managing to catch all of ONE pass is like comparing Jim Brown to Bobby Boucher.

#2:  Our coach isn’t a deadbeat.

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin was named Victoria Secret’s Sexiest Head Coach last season.  Not that it matters to Mike as he appears to be happily married to smokin’ hot wife Kiya and content to raise his three young children in the family-oriented atmosphere of Pittsburgh.  Best of all, Mike’s daughter is named Harlyn Quinn which makes him automatically double-cool for being a comic book geek.

Meanwhile, Eagles head coach Andy Reid‘s idea of “quality time” with his family is appearing in court when his two drug-addled sons are charged with various felonies related to drug use, possession, and related crimes.   Both these bad seeds are currently serving time in the clink, thus showing what kind of parental instruction they had at home.  Well, that might not be fair as the judge in one of their cases described the Reid house as an “Emporium of drugs.”  I know it is shocking that *gasp* one might have easy access to illegal substances in such a fine city as Philly but this shows exactly how much attention Eagle-Eyed Andy paid to his brood.

I’m sure Mike Tomlin works long hours and I’m sure he doesn’t spend as much time with his children as he used to but I doubt he’d be so oblivious as to not notice his kids being whacked on goofballs 24-7.

#1:  They booed Santa.

Seriously, what’s Philly most famous for?

Not the cheesesteaks.  Not the Flyers.  Not the Liberty Bell.  Not even Rocky Balboa.

They’re famous for booing Santa Claus.

Which is just a nice way of saying, they’re famous for being assholes.  If that’s the rep you want to have, more power to you.  I prefer to be named the country’s Most Liveable City but maybe that’s just me.

The game this Sunday will definitely be more than just a football game.  It’ll be more than the Battle for Pennsylvania.   It’ll be a battle between good and evil.  Between the Good Side of the Force and the Dark.  Faith I do have that victory ours will be.