Big Ben is intrigued.....are you?

In the middle of May, finding news-worthy NFL stories is a tough racket to work.  The Steelers first OTA session – the only real Steelers news right now – has been covered extensively here on NPC and frankly, with so little information being let loose from the South Side there isn’t much to write about.  Luckily, our favorite black and gold warriors do have a few intriguing situations brewing and that got me thinking outside the traditional “Pittsburgh Box”.  Now that we are essentially through the period of free agent movement, trades, and the NFL Draft, we know which team and player situations will be the most closely monitored as the march to Training Camp and the preseason begins.  We may see a minor move here or there, possibly a trade (the Seahawks/Buccaneers deal earlier this week is an example), and the continuing saga unfolding in New Orleans may yield some news still.

Every NFL season starts out with the eyes of the football world focused on the intriguing stories that mold the new year.  I have compiled a list of the Top Ten Intriguing Stories for 2012, a snapshot of the stories you will be hearing over and over again in the coming months.  Yes, Tebow is here.  So is Mike Wallace.  However, there are some other stories that you may have let slip your mind.  Right now summer is approaching and the focus is on baseball, school letting out for the summer, and what non-traditional meat can be thrown on the grill for tonight’s dinner.  What we want to delve into here are the stories NFL fans will be pining over once the pencils and books are back in the Trapper Keepers and we are trying to decide which stereotypical Halloween character we will be shoveling our loose leaves into to get them off of our dying lawn (Pumpkins and Frankensteins ruled the neighborhood last fall).  Grab a cold one and prepare to be intrigued.

Colts QB Andrew Luck during the teams OTA session this week; photo courtesy AP

10.  The re-birth of the Indianapolis Colts – The Colts were a big mean blue machine from 1999-2010, racking up 11 playoff appearances and a Super Bowl championship.  Indianapolis transformed themselves from an also-ran franchise that had trouble selling tickets and rarely found any sort of relevancy into a powerhouse behind the arm of one Peyton Manning.  They crafted the entire franchise around Manning, bringing in receivers and blockers and mostly being satisfied with bludgeoning their opponents to death with high-scoring offense.  The Colts became a weekly visitor to prime time slots and packed fans into the RCA Dome week after week.  They were the glory days of Indianapolis Colts football, a franchise that finally was able to shake the stench of the Mayflower Moving Trucks and late night walk of shame that followed them from Baltimore in 1983.  Fast forward to 2011, the Colts lose Payton Manning to a severe neck injury and the wheels fall off.  The team decides the time has come to move on and lets former Pro Bowl players such as TE Dallas Clark and C Jeff Saturday walk away.  Bill and Chris Polian, both architects of the Colts decade of dominance, were fired.  Shortly thereafter, “The Catfish” swam out of town – head coach Jim Caldwell was shown his walking papers.  RB Joesph Addai, WR Pierre Garcon, and LB Gary Brackett were allowed to leave or were cut.  Veteran tackle Ryan Diem decided he wanted no part of this circus and retired.  When the team takes the field in 2012, it will do so with only three members of their starting 2011 offense.  Outside of video games, teams don’t purge their organizations in this manner.

So now the fresh start with QB Andrew Luck, a slew of rookies, and several mid-level free agent signings.  New head coach Chuck Pagano has never been the man in charge, and he will do so for the first time with a brand new offense and defense behind two new coordinators.  This is a total restart of a franchise the likes we have NEVER seen.  The Colts are fixing to be a bad team in 2012, but it will be intriguing to see how bad….will they mature quickly behind Luck and make a run at 8-8, or will they mirror the 3-13 they were in Peyton Mannings first campaign?  Fans may only get to see a situation like this once or twice, a franchise that basically goes the “expansion team” route.  It should be a very interesting train wreck.

C Maurkice Pouncey will be expected to lead the new Steelers offensive line from day one.

9.  The Pittsburgh Steelers Offensive Line – The Steelers have now invested four top draft picks (#1 in 2010, #2 in 2011, #1 and #2 in 2012) on offensive linemen to revamp a unit that has been the source of so much grief over the past few years.  The team is making a real commitment to protecting Iron Man QB Ben Roethlisberger and the big guy couldn’t be happier.  Now comes the hard part – molding these outstanding players into an outstanding UNIT.  New offensive Coordinator Todd Haley and Offensive Line coach Sean Kugler will be spending their summer in the film room and on the practice field, learning the strengths and weaknesses of their new players.  Former starting tackle Willie Colon moves to guard, and the team has yet to recall their wounded veteran Max Starks, another Big Ben friend who may find himself wearing a different hat in 2012.  This is a brand new day in the Steel City, and how the line comes together will make or break a year of transition for the Steelers.

8.  The Tebow/Sanchez/Ryan NYC love triangle – After leading the Denver Broncos to their stunning OT upset of the Steelers in last January’s Wild Card playoff game, Tim Tebow seemed destined to become the next franchise QB for the Broncos.  Then Peyton Manning became available and John Elway decided to pay a kings ransom to bring the future hall of fame QB into the fold.  Tebow became expendable, and for some odd reason the New York Jets became his destination.  Just after giving a three-year contract extension to incumbent QB Mark Sanchez, the Jets traded for Tebow and created a controversial situation that could blow up in the face of head coach Rex Ryan.  Sanchez, who many unfairly blamed for the down season the Jets experienced in 2011, is now on the hot seat in the hottest oven in professional sports.  With Tebow in the fold, Sanchez will be looking over his shoulder from day one, and any mistake – an interception, an overthrow, anything – will immediately cue up the “Tebow” cries by the Jets faithful and create a hostile playing environment for the emotionally scarred Sanchez.  Rex Ryan is surely not the coach to handle such a touchy scenario, as his media boasting and bigger-than-life personality can only add fuel to the fire.  How the Jets handle this Tebow/Sanchez quagmire should be one of the most talked about and followed stories of 2012.

7.  Mike Wallace turns Diva – The Steelers top WR experienced his first taste of NFL free agency this offseason, and he wasn’t crazy about the flavor.  After expecting to be flooded with #1 wide receiver contract offers from teams that matched deals obtained by Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson, Wallace quickly learned that his profile is not quite at the level he thought it was.  He is now at the mercy of the Steelers and must either sign his tender offer or sit out 2012, since a long-term deal doesn’t appear to be in the offing.  With the emergence of WR Antonio Brown and the expectation that WR Emmanuel Sanders can reach the same level, Wallace could be the odd man out in the Steel City once its all said and done.  His ability to be a professional, sign the tender, and get to camp on time will be a major story this summer.  If he fails to do so, his time with the Steelers is over.  Tough ending to a Steelers career that seemed to be limitless at one point.

Artist rendering of the new NFL stadium in downtown Los Angeles

6.  The L.A. Equation – As I wrote about earlier this month, Los Angeles is beginning to make their push towards convincing an NFL team to relocate to the new stadium that is breaking ground in the downtown area.  Obviously, the NFL history of L.A. is one of teams moving AWAY, but the second-largest TV market in the Country is ready to re-establish themselves as an NFL city.  The Minnesota Vikings have secure funding for a new stadium, so they are out of the mix.  The Oakland Raiders and St. Louis Rams (both formerly tenants of L.A.) are still being considered as teams that may move, as are the San Diego Chargers.  Expect this to become a major story as the season wears on and chances are the NFL will be allowing a team to announce a move to Los Angeles sometime before kickoff of Super Bowl XLVII on February 3, 2013. 

Jeff Fisher has a major project on his hands in St. Louis

5.  Head Coach Jeff Fisher returns to the NFL, tries to dig the Rams out of a deep hole -The St. Louis Rams seemed to be on the right track heading into 2011.  After competing for the NFC West title down to Week 17 in 2010, it seemed that head coach Steve Spagnuolo had the team on the verge of becoming relevant for the first time since the “Greatest Show on Turf” was wowing the league.  All of that potential went down the crapper in 2011, as the Rams were hit by a string of injuries and finished 2-14.  The failure caused the firing of Spagnuolo and his entire coaching staff, and began the hunt for a new head coach.  The Rams went all out, coaxing former Titans coach Jeff Fisher out of a semi-retirement to become the eighth head coach in the team’s St. Louis history.

Now the work begins on revitalizing a downtrodden franchise that seems to have one foot out the door in St. Louis.  If the team does not respond to their new coach and has another horrific season, it could push them right up the ladder on the list of teams that could move to Los Angeles.  Bad attendance has been a plague for the Rams, who have a hard time filling the gigantic Edward Jones Dome most weeks.  The organization is counting on Fisher to breathe life back into the team and the fanbase.  The Rams had a good draft, bringing in DT Michael Brockers, WR Brian Quick, CB Janoris Jenkins, RB Isiah Pead, and CB Trumaine Johnson – all who could win starting jobs in 2012.  They also went out and signed several mid-level free agents and allowed some dead weight to move on, giving the entire roster a fresh feel.  The biggest factor will be the health of franchise QB Sam Bradford, who has proven that when healthy he can be a solid NFL signal caller.    This is a make it-or-break-it season for the St. Louis Rams.

Miami Dolphins 1st round pick QB Ryan Tannehill

4.  The Miami Dolphins, Seattle Seahawks, Cleveland Browns, and Tennessee Titans QB controversies -Let’s take a quick inventory here.  The Miami Dolphins have incumbent QB Matt Moore on the roster, then draft QB Ryan Tannehill in the first round, then sign veteran QB David Garrard to a contract.  The Seattle Seahawks have incumbent QB Tarvaris Jackson on the roster, then sign free agent prize QB Matt Flynn to a huge multi-year deal, then draft QB Russell Wilson in the 2012 NFL Draft.  The Cleveland Browns have QB Colt McCoy, long shoved down the Dawg Pound’s throats as the QB of the future.  They draft 28-year old rookie Brandon Weeden in the first round of the draft.  The Tennessee Titans have incumbent QB Matt Hasslebeck and young, promising QB Jake Locker nipping at his heels to take the job.

All four of these teams were non-playoff teams in 2011 and are trying to turn the corner.  With so many QB controversies sprouting up this early, it should make for an interesting summer and preseason for all four clubs.  Never have we had so many teams with no idea who their starting QB would be heading into a season, and at this point nothing would surprise fans of these teams, who always seem to make things harder than they have to be.  The Seattle situation is becoming even more intriguing, with highly-paid new QB Matt Flynn sharing reps with the first team with both Wilson and Jackson in team OTA’s this past week.  Flynn was the QB prize of the free agent pool, and was signed with the intention that he would be “the man” for Pete Carroll and the Seahawks.  In Tennessee, Jake Locker is primed to take over as the starting QB, but will have a fight ahead of him in camp.  Intrigue in Seattle, Miami, Cleveland, and Tennessee abounds.

WR Randy Moss is back, this time with the 49ers.

3.  WR Randy Moss returns to the NFL after a one-year vacation -After not playing in 2011, Randy Moss is back in 2012.  The one-time considered best WR in football, Moss signed a one-year deal to become a key part of a San Fransisco offense looking for new weapons for QB Alex Smith.  Can Moss rebound from a disappointing 2010 that saw him wear three different jerseys and a 2011 that saw him completely out of the game?  The 49ers are banking on Moss to be the #1 target for Smith, and will need him to produce the way he did from 2007-2009 with New England if they intend on making another deep playoff run.  Moss is a guy that can either show up and be great or show up and cause a team to implode on itself.  Furthermore, he is one of the most recognizable players of the past decade and the media will be following his every move on this comeback.

Mario Williams signed a six-year deal with Buffalo, one of the biggest surprises of the offseason.

2. The Detroit Lions try to build on their success, the Buffalo Bills try to spend their way to success – The Detroit Lions were the darlings of the NFL in 2011, making the playoffs just three years removed from an 0-16 season.  The Lions have explosive talent all over the field, including QB Matthew Stafford and WR Calvin Johnson.  Can the Lions continue to ascend to the elite level of their NFC brethren in Green Bay and New York?  Or will they take a step back, buried by preseason expectations that have them competing to make their first Super Bowl?  In Buffalo, the Bills started out 2011 as the hottest team in football before a terrible streak of losses ended any playoff hopes.  The Bills went out and made the biggest offseason splash in signing DE Mario Williams away from the Houston Texans for a record six-year $100 million deal.  The Bills also spent money on DE Mark Anderson and resigned WR Stevie Johnson to a five-year extension.  After not making the playoffs since 1999, will the spending spree propel the Bills to the playoffs? 

1.  BountyGate rips the hearts out of the New Orleans Saints – The biggest scandal in the NFL in years hit New Orleans hard.  BountyGate cost the Saints their head coach for the entire 2012 season, as Sean Payton will be replaced by Joe Vitt – once he returns from his six-game suspension.  The Saints also lost Pro Bowl LB Jonathan Vilma for all of 2012, DE Will Smith for four games, and were docked a bunch of draft picks over the next few years.  Furthermore, the team has a situation with QB savior Drew Brees, who is unhappy about being named the franchise player and not being granted a long-term deal.  This is an organization is tatters after NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell dropped the hammer on them.  The entire league will be watching to see if the Saints are able to continue their remarkable run of playoff appearances and give their team a chance to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium (The SuperDome hosts the big game this year).  After so many feel-good stories out of the Big Easy since the horrible events of Hurricane Katrina, the Saints are now fully in the eye of another storm.  If the results end up being a 5-11 season or even simply missing the playoffs, this could mark a significant change in the overall New Orleans Saints organization, with front office staff, coaches, and players being changed out to get the stench of “BountyGate” off of the team.

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Thursday Night Football features the season’s second match-up between the Cleveland Browns and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Cleveland is easily the worst team of 2009. First year coach Eric Mangini was fleeced in two trades with the Jets, which led to his puppet G.M. getting canned mid-season. Their defense is on pace to surrender more yardage than any team this decade. The starting QB spot has ping-ponged from Brady Quinn to Derek Anderson back to Quinn with neither player getting the job done.  In fact, if you subtract Quinn’s four TD outburst against the equally sad Detroit Lions, the Browns have scored less than a dozen touchdowns ALL SEASON.

What I’m trying to say is the Browns are the type of team the Steelers should pound into a fine paste.   Which is exactly what I said when we played Kansas City and Oakland.  Yet, we all know how those games turned out.  No game is a gimme for the Steelers because the Steelers refuse to let it be.  That’s why the enemy this week isn’t really the Cleveland Browns.

The Steelers enemy is themselves.

Here’s a perfect example.  Hines Ward tweaked his hamstring on the second to last play of last week’s loss.  Working on an extremely short week, it appears that Hines will not play.  Hines practiced a little but the signing of an extra WR off the practice squad indicates the team isn’t optimistic.  Now, anybody with a brain in their head knows Ward is one of the toughest Steelers EVER.  He was Super Bowl MVP despite playing with a separated shoulder while in last year’s game he attempted to play on a partially torn MCL.  The man is a warrior who will do anything to help his team win.

So what does Ben Roethlisberger say when asked about the possibility of Hines not playing this week?

“Hines will do what’s best for Hines, I’m sure.”

This was the perfect opportunity to take the high road and work toward unifying the locker room.  Especially now that the team’s backs are up against the wall. Instead, Ben decided it was better to get a little payback by making a petty self-serving comment.  Way to show your “leadership” skills, Ben.   No wonder 50% of the locker room thinks you’re a dick.

This sort of nonsense is exactly what I’m talking about.  Bill Cowher took fifteen years to win a championship but his teams ALWAYS put forth maximum effort.  I don’t see that this year.   The players don’t seem to care.  Veteran leadership is totally lacking.  And the coaches, particularly Mike Tomlin, like to talk a big game but seem incapable of motivating anybody while repeatedly putting players in position to fail.

The irony in the whole Team Hines vs. Team Ben debate is they both need each other.  Hines lives to win and Ben is most definitely a winner.  Without him, he wouldn’t have those two shiny rings on his fingers.  Likewise, Ben is a mediocre passer who relies on his receivers to make big plays for him.  He’ll learn to appreciate Hines when he hits Limas Sweed (our #3 WR this week) in the hands only to watch the ball slip through his greasy mitts.

Of course, the big news this week was Tomlin calling out his secondary, particularly CBs Ike Taylor and Will.i.am Gay.  I’ve stated many times I think Ike is an extremely talented cover corner but he does have a tendency to get lazy.  Which is why Cowher had to bench him for five games back in 2006 after he did a fantastic job in the playoff run of 2005.  No word on whether Tomlin is going to go that far although I’d like to see a message sent.

Gay has sucked all season which Tomlin is evidently just getting around to noticing.  It appeared the Steelers had an easy out this week with Gay suffering a concussion at the hands of Ryan Mundy last week.   However, William practiced normally all week which means he’d have to be benched as well.  My medical expertise is limited to playing doctor with Tina DiCapula in the fourth grade but I can almost guarantee he knows if somebody starts in his place and plays better than him (impossible not to), his starting spot is gone.  It’s amazing how minor side affects like excercise induced headaches don’t matter when you’re not in a position to be a whiny primadonna.

Regardless of who starts, expect rookie corners Keenan Lewis and Joe Burnett to get long looks.  With the playoffs a long shot, the rest of this season should be about the future.   And nothing is more important than figuring out our secondary mess for next year.  Lewis is a tall, rangy athlete with excellent leaping ability.  The concern on him is his speed, which led some to think his best position would be to put on weight and move to safety.  I was very impressed with Burnett during the preseason.  He’s small but fast and has a nose for the ball.   We saw a little of that last week when he had the game sealing INT all but handed to him.  In college he was a ballhawk so I’m hoping it was rookie jitters because I think he could be a keeper.

There may be other players seeing more action than usual.  Ryan Clark has totally degenerated to the point I think the coaching staff wants to take a look at Mundy.   I have no idea why since all he seems to know how to do is cheapshot people.  Also, Keyaron Fox, who has played fantastic when given the opportunity (maybe because he’s HUNGRY?), may split time with Lawrence Timmons.  To be honest, James Farrior is the weaksauce of the LB corps but he can’t be taken out because he’s the captain in charge of setting the defense and calling all the signals/audibles.

Oh, and of course, Troy Polamalu is out.

Which probably means Brady Quinn will throw three TD passes then go home and celebrate by being a human pommel horse for his girlfriend, Alicia Sacramone.  Not that I want that to happen, mind you.   At this point, I’d rather adjust my expectations downward so I’m not so crushingly disappointed.  Yes, the 2009 season has come to that.

And the Steelers have nobody to blame but themselves.

The Pittsburgh Steelers travel out to the Show Me State this weekend to take a gander at the new look Kansas City Chiefs.  Unfortunately for long-suffering Chiefs fans, what they’ll see is more of the same losing football they’ve seen for more than a decade.  KC is a text book example of how not to run a franchise.  Unless you’re trying to run it into the ground.  The Chiefs have won exactly four of their past thirty four games and that trend doesn’t look like it’s about to reverse itself anytime soon.

Let’s start as we always do with the offensive side of the ball.  Their best weapon was TE Tony Gonzalez.  He was traded during the offseason because he wanted to play for a winner.  Then there is Larry Johnson.  Johnson put up incredible numbers for the Chiefs (on an incredible amount of carries) in two consecutive seasons.  He also displayed an O.J. Simpson-esque touch with the ladies as he was arrested on four separate occasions, all of them involving violence against women.  KC rewarded this misogynist with a 6 year $45 million contract.  Only after insulting his head coach on Twitter was he finally released a couple weeks back, eventually finding a new home with every criminal’s favorite hideout, the Bengals.

Although those players are gone, there are still plenty of mistakes on the team.  Following a season when he played exactly one month of decent football, the Chiefs traded for Patriots backup Matt Cassel.  Before taking a single snap, they rewarded Cassel with a 6 year $63 million deal.  Geniuses.  Of course, the only remotely decent WR he has to throw to is Dwayne Bowe. But Bowe will not play this Sunday because he’s sitting out a four game suspension for steroid use.  Todd Haley coached a high-powered Cardinals offense all the way to the Super Bowl last season but he’d have to be Miracle Max to improve on the 18 points per game average the team had last year.

For the Steelers, it appears to be all systems go on the offensive side of the ball.  Bruce Arians allegedly plans to rein in his Flying Circus in favor of a more balanced attack. I’ll believe that when I see it.  Still, a heavy dose of Rashard Mendenhall would be exactly what this team needs to get back on a winning track.  Especially since KC is ranked down near the bottom of the league in rush defense.

Which brings us to yet more bad news for the Chiefs.  Only 0-16 Detroit gave up more yardage last year as KC set a new record for futility by recording a total of only 10 sacks.  This year they’ve switched over to a 3-4 and used their first two draft picks on stud defensive prospects, Tyson Jackson and Alex Magee. They also took on more Patriots garbage by taking ancient LB (and former Steeler) Mike Vrabel in the Cassel trade and signing the equally ancient Zach Thomas away from the Cowboys. With no pass rush, the secondary got picked on last year and yet it’s probably the strength of this unit.

For the Steelers, there are injuries aplenty to worry about.  Troy Polamalu remains “questionable” but is definitely not playing Sunday.  Look, if we can’t beat the Chiefs without Troy, just forfeit the rest of the season because we’re done.  In other injury news, Travis Kirschke‘s sprained calf is now torn because Mike Tomlin is a filthy liar.  He did try some individual drills this week but evidently he’s still a few weeks away.  Shockingly, I’m okay with his absence because his backup (or the backup to the backup if you’re keeping score), Nick Eason, has done a fairly solid job.  Last year, the Steelers D sacked Cassel seven times as they dazed and confused him all afternoon. While he’s now a year more experienced, I still expect James Harrison and company to be after him like a school of sharks tasting blood in the water.

Although they say “Any Given Sunday” for a very legitimate reason, this weekend should be little more than a tune-up.  I expect a professional, tidy effort from the Steelers in taking care of business like good teams do when they play the dregs of the NFL.  Get in, get your win, and get out without anybody getting hurt.  Next week we have the first of two games against the Ratbirds which may very well decide our season.  No time like the present to start playing winning football.

Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed celebrated Sunday’s victory over the Browns by getting his drink on. Of course, this ended the way Skippy’s drunken escapades usually end. Handcuffs, and not the good kind, for our wayward kicker and embarrassment for the Steelers organization. With his contract set to expire at the end of the season, this latest foolishness probably seals his fate as far as remaining in the Black and Gold is concerned.

This has been a weird year for the Steelers when it comes to running afoul of the law. They can’t just get in trouble, it always has to be some odd situation or crazy set of circumstances. First, it was Reed’s vicious assault on a paper towel dispenser. Then came the Ben Roethlisberger lawsuit, filled with disturbing accusations and a nutjob of an alleged victim. Now we have Skippy fighting for his right to urinate.

Reed, his father (?), and Steelers TE Matt Spaeth were out carousing on the North Shore. Spaeth evidently decided to relieve himself right on the street next to their SUV.  Believe me, female readers, when I say this is not an uncommon thing for men to do.  *Ahem*  The ever vigilant Pittsburgh Police, who evidently wiped the city clean of all robberies, rapes, and murders because whizzing has now taken top priority, were on the scene! SIR, PLEASE UNHAND YOUR JOHNSON AND STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE!!

Good thing that wasn’t Santonio Holmes. The insipid police would’ve thought he was packing heat instead of packing, uh, something else and opened fire.

Anyway, while Spaeth was being ticketed, Skippy went nuts. He jumped out of the vehicle to protest this outrage.  His father was driving, by the way. I point that out for two reasons. One, it shows Skippy is responsible enough to bring along a sober companion as a designated driver. And two, that’s a pretty good son to use his athletic fame to hook his dad up with some groupies.

As Skippy defended Spaeth’s right to pee wherever he wants, the story becomes a bit weird. To quote the cop, “he got into a fighters stance.” Now, I have several really close friends. And I’ve been part of a team. However, I never liked anybody enough to get into a pissing contest, er, physical confrontation over their urinary freedom.

Well, this “fight” went about as you’d expect. Skippy is a kicker, after all. The cop put him in some sort of Brazilian jujitsu arm lock while his partner cuffed him. Good thing that cop wasn’t a paper towel dispenser. Reed would have kicked his ass.

Skippy was given a citation for simple assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness although he was released to his father’s custody. They said he smelt of alcohol. NO SHIT!? A crazy belligerent dude with Troll Doll hair who just stumbled out of a bar had been DRINKING!?! Herr Goodell and the NFL Gestapo is reviewing the case so I fully expect the Steelers to be without their kicker for at least one game.

The larger picture here is Skippy’s future. The Steelers won’t change kickers mid-stream but the future is very much in doubt. Reed turned down a token contract offer at the end of preseason. With Piotr Czech waiting in the wings, I have a feeling this incident will be the breaking point for the Steelers. Prepare to see Reed suiting up for a different team in 2010, a team more tolerant of imbecilic behavior.

I’m guessing the Cincinnati Bengals.

Last week, the Pittsburgh Steelers faced off against a downtrodden franchise struggling to climb out of the abyss.  This week, the Steelers face another downtrodden franchise, albeit one that seems to be moving in the opposite direction towards rock bottom.  The stunning ineptitude of the Cleveland Browns has transformed what used to be one of the greatest rivalries in NFL history into the football version of whack-a-mole.

The Browns featured the second-most anemic offensive attack in the league last year.  So what did they do?   They traded Joey Porter‘s BFF Kellen Winslow to Tampa, lost Donte Stallworth to a season-long suspension for killing somebody in a DUI accident, and just recently swapped star WR Braylon Edwards to the Jets for a shoddy bomb casing filled with used pinball machine parts.  That was the second time the Jets took advantage of ex-coach Eric Mangini‘s new team.  They were also the ones who swapped first round picks with Cleveland, allowing them to move up and take rookie sensation QB Mark Sanchez.

QB is one spot the Browns could sorely use right now.  They started the season with the league’s most fabulous quarterback, Brady Quinn.  Quinn was terribly ineffective as, surprisingly, any man-on-man contact seems to make him play like a scared little girl.  Last week, they turned to Derek Anderson, who led the team to a 10-6 record and made an appearance in the Pro Bowl back in 2007.  Anderson responded by leading the team to their first victory of the season despite passing for…   No.  Words cannot justify how pathetic he was last week.  Take a look at his stats for yourself and keep in mind he played a 60 minute game and WON!

The Steelers offense will likely be the same maddening mix of too many passes and not enough runs with a sprinkling of Ben Roethlisberger heroics.  Speaking of the running game, Rashard Mendenhall was ill part of this week while Willie Parker returned to practice.  FWP has a special shoe designed to protect his Turf Toe so he is likely to play on Sunday.  Man, I can’t even get my Chuck Taylor’s in black unless I custom order them.

The defense they will be working against ranked in the bottom quarter of the league each season under former coach Romeo Crennel.  Mangini decided to copy the Steelers switch to a 3-4.  His boneheaded trades brought over a handful of former Jets, including DE Kenyon Coleman and LBs Eric Barton and David Bowens, to upgrade the defensive side of the ball.  They are currently near the bottom in points given up per game and dead last in rushing yards allowed so whomever carries the ball for us is in line for a good day.  At least until Bruce Arians decides to throw 40 yard bombs on every play.

The Steelers D will be welcoming back Troy Polamalu.  Polamalu, who’ll play with a brace on his injured knee, seems confident the injury won’t have any noticeable affect on either his play or shiny full-bodied hair.  The sad state of Cleveland QB play won’t be much of a test.  What will be tested is our suddenly questionable run defense.  With Aaron Smith gone for the year, our best run-stopper is no longer available.  Jamal Lewis piled up 117 yards last week and despite getting up there in years, shows little sign of slowing down.  This will be an interesting warm-up for the law firm of Kirschke, Eason, & Hood before the main event next week in Minnesota.

Last year, the Steelers narrowly defeated a terrible Browns team 10-6 very early in the season.  They did obliterate them in the rematch but as last week in Detroit has shown, “any given Sunday.”   And while I don’t think this Sunday will be given to Cleveland, I do hope to see a good effort from the Steelers.  The schedule only gets tougher from here so if this team has championship potential in them, now is the time to start showing it.