The Pittsburgh Steelers travel out to the Show Me State this weekend to take a gander at the new look Kansas City Chiefs.  Unfortunately for long-suffering Chiefs fans, what they’ll see is more of the same losing football they’ve seen for more than a decade.  KC is a text book example of how not to run a franchise.  Unless you’re trying to run it into the ground.  The Chiefs have won exactly four of their past thirty four games and that trend doesn’t look like it’s about to reverse itself anytime soon.

Let’s start as we always do with the offensive side of the ball.  Their best weapon was TE Tony Gonzalez.  He was traded during the offseason because he wanted to play for a winner.  Then there is Larry Johnson.  Johnson put up incredible numbers for the Chiefs (on an incredible amount of carries) in two consecutive seasons.  He also displayed an O.J. Simpson-esque touch with the ladies as he was arrested on four separate occasions, all of them involving violence against women.  KC rewarded this misogynist with a 6 year $45 million contract.  Only after insulting his head coach on Twitter was he finally released a couple weeks back, eventually finding a new home with every criminal’s favorite hideout, the Bengals.

Although those players are gone, there are still plenty of mistakes on the team.  Following a season when he played exactly one month of decent football, the Chiefs traded for Patriots backup Matt Cassel.  Before taking a single snap, they rewarded Cassel with a 6 year $63 million deal.  Geniuses.  Of course, the only remotely decent WR he has to throw to is Dwayne Bowe. But Bowe will not play this Sunday because he’s sitting out a four game suspension for steroid use.  Todd Haley coached a high-powered Cardinals offense all the way to the Super Bowl last season but he’d have to be Miracle Max to improve on the 18 points per game average the team had last year.

For the Steelers, it appears to be all systems go on the offensive side of the ball.  Bruce Arians allegedly plans to rein in his Flying Circus in favor of a more balanced attack. I’ll believe that when I see it.  Still, a heavy dose of Rashard Mendenhall would be exactly what this team needs to get back on a winning track.  Especially since KC is ranked down near the bottom of the league in rush defense.

Which brings us to yet more bad news for the Chiefs.  Only 0-16 Detroit gave up more yardage last year as KC set a new record for futility by recording a total of only 10 sacks.  This year they’ve switched over to a 3-4 and used their first two draft picks on stud defensive prospects, Tyson Jackson and Alex Magee. They also took on more Patriots garbage by taking ancient LB (and former Steeler) Mike Vrabel in the Cassel trade and signing the equally ancient Zach Thomas away from the Cowboys. With no pass rush, the secondary got picked on last year and yet it’s probably the strength of this unit.

For the Steelers, there are injuries aplenty to worry about.  Troy Polamalu remains “questionable” but is definitely not playing Sunday.  Look, if we can’t beat the Chiefs without Troy, just forfeit the rest of the season because we’re done.  In other injury news, Travis Kirschke‘s sprained calf is now torn because Mike Tomlin is a filthy liar.  He did try some individual drills this week but evidently he’s still a few weeks away.  Shockingly, I’m okay with his absence because his backup (or the backup to the backup if you’re keeping score), Nick Eason, has done a fairly solid job.  Last year, the Steelers D sacked Cassel seven times as they dazed and confused him all afternoon. While he’s now a year more experienced, I still expect James Harrison and company to be after him like a school of sharks tasting blood in the water.

Although they say “Any Given Sunday” for a very legitimate reason, this weekend should be little more than a tune-up.  I expect a professional, tidy effort from the Steelers in taking care of business like good teams do when they play the dregs of the NFL.  Get in, get your win, and get out without anybody getting hurt.  Next week we have the first of two games against the Ratbirds which may very well decide our season.  No time like the present to start playing winning football.

Fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers are everywhere. Even in Dallas as the above video shows. I love how the newspaper gave the entire family Cowboys jerseys (including, ugh, pink ones) to make it look like they follow the team. The look on Jason Witten‘s face when he walks into the kid’s room is hilarious.

One of the other cool things about Steeler Nation is how we take over other team’s stadiums. This Sunday, for example, I expect there to be a sea of Black and Gold amongst smatterings of red when we play the Kansas City Chiefs. After all, the Chiefs are a truly wretched franchise mired in yet another losing season. Fans looking to travel, ex-Burghers still loyal to their hometown, and the few intelligent Missourians (an oxymoron, I know) who’ve long since given up on their franchise will likely conspire to make this a home game on the road.

I just hope those outside of the ‘Burgh are careful because being a Steelers fan could be dangerous to your health.

Making the rounds of the internet has been this story about a Pittsburgh man who was in Chicago for the game against the Bears. Afterward, he got into a bit of friendly smack talking with the Bears fans at a local bar. Supposedly, this back-and-forth eventually escalated into a rather heated exchange. I’ll take a wild guess and say alcohol was involved. However, when the locals decided to buy the Yinzer a beer to put the issue to bed, things quickly went from bad to worse.

See, these upstanding citizens decided to slip something into his drink. Roofies most likely.  I wonder how many of these men were in a fraternity at Penn State.  Anyway, this incident tells us two things about Chicago. One, their fans are a bunch of scumbags. And two, if you’re a single woman in the Windy City, you should probably join Match.com.

Anyway, our ‘Burgh guy had a bad reaction to this spiked drink. He passed out and was rushed to the hospital. While there, his heart stopped FOUR TIMES. He was eventually stabilized but has been left blind and suffering brain damage. Mind you, this all was a result of a football game the Bears WON.

So please, Steeler Nation, continue to invade enemy territory. Continue to take over opposing stadiums. Continue to wave your Terrible Towels wherever you may go. Just be careful. The world’s a big ugly scary place full of bitter fans of shitty football teams. And that’s just Cleveland.

The Pittsburgh Steelers were handed a devastating loss by the improbable score of 18-12 yesterday afternoon.  This defeat completes a shocking sweep of both divisional games by the Cincinnati Bengals.  Barring a monumental collapse, the Bengals have all but assured themselves of winning the AFC North title.  On a day when both a game and a division were lost, perhaps the worst loss for the Steelers came in the form of Troy Polamalu, who re-injured his knee on the first series of the game and may be lost for the season.

This is where I usually launch into an obnoxiously detailed analysis.  Unfortunately, there isn’t much to talk about with this one.  Most of the action seemed to follow the same script over and over again.  There were no offensive touchdowns scored.  Pittsburgh punted five times while the Bengals had four boots.  Neither team was able to reach 250 total yards of offense for the entire game.  The offensive heroes were Cincy’s Shayne Graham (4 for 5 on FGs) and Skippy Reed (who split the uprights on all 4 of his attempts).

Skippy also figured prominently in the key play of the game.  The final margin of victory was primarily owed to rookie Bernard Scott and his 96 yard kickoff return for a touchdown.  Skippy did another fantastic job on kickoff coverage, running past Scott without so much as laying a finger on him.  Although let’s be fair and remember Reed is paid to make kicks not tackles.  The 10 other guys who by and large don’t do anything except play on special teams should be embarrassed by their work this season.  This is the worst kick coverage I’ve seen in close to ten years.

A badly depleted Steeler defense managed to bend but not break all day long.  Subtracting the kickoff TD and one FG that was set up by a Ben Roethlisberger interception returned deep in to our territory, the D held up quite well.  Of course, it helped that the Bengals played most of the game without the red hot Cedric Benson, also lost to injury.  Still, when you hold a high-powered offense featuring the likes of Carson Palmer (178 yards passing) and Ochocinco (2 catches for 29 yards) to a handful of field goals, you’ve pretty much done your job.

Which is more than I can say for our offense.  This week really exposed the weakness of Bruce Arians’ Flying Circus.  When it clicks, it’s great.  But when you have one of those days where things just aren’t firing on all cylinders, everything falls apart.  And, brother, not even superglue could’ve put it back together.

Big Ben sucked yesterday.  Every throw was high or low or a little to the right or a little to the left or overthrown or underthrown or directly into a defender’s paws.  Ben had so many passes swatted down at the line of scrimmage that I lost count.  And even though Ben’s throws were wild and erratic, his receivers didn’t provide him much help.  Santonio Holmes let a sure TD go right through his arms in the end zone and Mike Wallace dropped a crucial third and long conversion.

Then we have the offensive line.  It surely didn’t help Ben’s cause that his boys had a hard time keeping him upright, surrendering a season high 4 sacks and many other knockdowns/pressures.  The bookends, Max Starks and Willie Colon, were repeatedly getting beaten off the edge by the Bengals speedy pass rushers.  And when they did manage to provide a sliver of protection, the Bengals secondary was able to keep things covered long enough to prevent Ben from doing any damage.

Despite this laundry list of shortcomings, the Steelers managed to move the ball into the Cincinnati red zone no less than four times.  In fact, they got as deep as the Bengals 16, 10, 8, and 17 yard lines before settling for FGs on each occasion.  A disturbing pattern soon emerged where the Steelers would look lost, somehow pull a couple nice plays out of their asses to get into Cincy territory, then proceed to shoot themselves in the foot.  On three of those drives, what started as a 1st and goal from around ten yards out became a 2nd and goal from the 25-30 yard line because of a penalty or sack.  The playcalling was beyond atrocious.  I realize the Bengals are the #2 team against the rush and Rashard Mendenhall only had 36 yards on the day but lining up in a five WR set from the 8 yard line????   If we can’t pound it in from that distance Steeler Football is truly dead.

Much like our hopes for a championship repeat may be.  This loss drops the Steelers to 6-3 and creates a scenario where the only way we can win the division is by finishing a full game ahead of the Bengals.  With that scenario highly unlikely to happen, it appears the Black and Gold are now relegated to Wild Card status.  Last year, the New England Patriots missed out on the Wild Card despite an 11-5 record.  In other words, not only is that route to the Super Bowl extremely difficult because you have to play three games all on the road but it’s a huge crapshoot just to get the spot in the first place.   But this is where having lost twice to a team we should have beaten has left the Steelers.  They’re going to have to play their best football from here on out because as of now the margin for error is officially zero.

Another week, another “Biggest Game of the Season” for the Pittsburgh Steelers.  And another picture of the opposing team’s QB surrounded by hot chicks.  The odd-looking fellow passed out on the bed is current Denver Broncos signal caller Kyle Orton.  Sadly, it appears even a stumbling drunk with a neckbeard has better luck with the ladies than our Super Bowl winning quarterback.

Neckbeard is behind center for the the Broncos due to a tumultuous off-season where the team parted ways with longtime coach Mike Shanahan leading his replacement, Josh McDaniels, to eventually part ways with Jay Cutler.  Despite not making the playoffs last season, the offense wasn’t really the problem as only New Orleans scored more points in 2008.  Thus, even with the switch at QB, the Broncos are still in possession of an excellent O line while being deep and talented at wide receiver.  Knowshon Moreno, the 12th overall pick in the draft, splits rushing duties with Correll Buckholter to bring some balance to the offense.

Offensively, the Steelers go into the game with the usual cast of characters.  LT Max Starks will have his hands full blocking LB Elvis Dumervil, who currently leads the AFC in sacks.  If he and the rest of the O-line can keep Ben Roethlisberger upright, there should be some plays for the making.  The Broncos defense is stout against the run but vulnerable against the pass so expect Bruce Arians’ Flying Circus to come out firing on Monday Night.

How weak is the Denver secondary?  This past week, they signed 95-year-old Ty Law to help shore it up.  Of course, they also have one of the best DBs in the game, Champ Bailey, so staying away from him is a must.  Despite some hiccups in pass coverage, the Broncos have had the overall top ranked defensive unit for much of this season.  Former San Francisco 49ers head man Mike Nolan has worked magic as defensive coordinator, switching to a 3-4 scheme which seems to be getting the most out of castoffs like Andra Davis and former Steeler Ryan McBean.

The Steelers will be fielding a defense missing no less than three starters.  Travis Kirschke sprained his calf toward the end of the Minnesota game and is expected to miss two or three more weeks.  Too bad, because he was doing a surprisingly solid job replacing Aaron Smith against the run.  Lawrence Timmons, who has been fighting a high ankle sprain all year, loses the battle again this week.  Even though LT was starting to come on, I’m not really too worried about missing him.   Keyaron Fox, he of the 77 yard INT-TD against the Vikes, has played extremely well when given the chance.  In fact, if you subtract the fact Timmons was a Steelers 1st round pick while Fox was a 3rd rounder who couldn’t stick with the hapless Chiefs, I’d argue Fox should be starting based on his play alone.

And then we have Ryan Clark.  I’ve already dedicated an entire post to Clark’s unique situation.  Regardless of whether it’s been made official or not, Clark isn’t going to play.  A three headed monster of Tyrone Carter, Keiwan Raliff, and Ryan Mundy will endeavor to fill his shoes.  On the plus side, Clark isn’t Troy Polamalu.  On the minus side, Clark is one of our better tacklers.  This is important because Orton is a weak-armed quarterback who is mostly limited to short and intermediate routes which depend on his talented WRs getting yards after the catch.

The Ravens exposed this flaw last week when they stifled the Broncos running game and their dink and dunk passing game couldn’t generate enough offense.  I’m sure McDaniels will try to change things up but there’s only so much you can do with Kyle Orton.  One thing to keep in mind, the Broncos have a fantastic kick returner by the name of Eddie Royal.  I’d hate for the Steelers to put on another defensive clinic only to be undone by yet another breakdown in the special teams.

The Bengals skunked the Baltimore Ravens yesterday, continuing their dream season.   On the one hand, I’m pleased because failure in Baltimore always brings a smile to my face.  On the other hand, Cincy is now 6-2 with a head-to-head victory over us so we really need to keep pace.  Victories have been hard to come by in the Mile High City so let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself.

Football is a dangerous game. A player may have their season or even their career cut short on any given play. If you’ve ever met an ex-player, you can see the toll the game takes on their body by their gnarly hands or the way they walk. Football players know this and they accept this.

However, nobody expects to die on the football field.

But that almost happened to Pittsburgh Steelers safety Ryan Clark in 2007.  In a sport filled with ankle sprains and turf toes, Clark has one of the most unique medical ailments I’ve ever heard.  Although not official (yet), it’s almost certain he’ll sit out Monday against the Denver Broncos because of concerns over his health.  He’d be insane not to.

Clark has something called sickle cell trait. I’m neither a doctor nor a nurse, in fact even talking about blood makes me a bit queasy, so I’ll do my best to explain what that is.  Sickle cell trait is an abnormality in the blood that primarily affects African-Americans. Basically, their red blood cells, which carry oxygen throughout your body, are irregular. Ordinarily, this condition is not dangerous. However, situations involving extreme fluctuations in oxygen, such as heavy physical exertion or significant changes in altitude have been found to trigger major complications.

Which is exactly what happened to Clark in 2007 when the Steelers played out in Denver.  Playing NFL football in the Mile High City set off a catastrophic body response resulting in him having both his spleen and gall bladder removed. He lost 30 pounds and was lost for the season. In fact, going into 2008, the Steelers thought he may be lost for good. The fact he came back last year to not only play but have his best season as a pro speaks volumes about the man.

The team doctors have cleared Clark to play on Monday. However, it looks as if Mike Tomlin put the kibosh on that by taking the decision out of Clark’s hands. Good for him. Although I’m sure the doctors wouldn’t put him at risk if they had any serious doubts, ten seconds of googling reveals some pretty scary information. Kidney failure and stroke are but two possible complications of sickle cell trait. I can understand asking a player to man up and risk a future hip replacement or gimpy knee but a stroke?  Um, no.

So Monday Night, the Black and Gold will probably be playing their latest “Biggest game of the season” without the services of Ryan Clark. Ordinarily, I’d be bothered by the loss of our awesome starting safety. However, in this case, I’m actually happy. Of course, I’ll be a lot happier if the Steelers can win one for Ryan.