Although the Pittsburgh Steelers play the Miami Dolphins tomorrow, their actual enemies are the list of teams blocking their path to a Wild Card playoff berth.  And to be even more technical, their enemy isn’t so much the teams ahead of them in the standings but the teams they are going to play.  If more teams follow the disgraceful example of the Indianapolis Colts and purposely tank games in order to “rest their starters,” our playoff hopes quickly go from slim to none.  So before we worry about the Fins, let’s take a look at what needs to happen tomorrow:

1) Steelers win and Houston loses or ties and New York Jets lose or tie.

2) Steelers win and Houston loses or ties and Baltimore loses or ties.

3) Steelers win and New York Jets lose or tie and Baltimore loses or ties and Denver loses or tie.

Mister Woodley already made his thoughts known on what he thinks other teams are going to do.  The Ratbirds travel out to Oakland while the Broncos have the Chiefs.  Assuming those teams win, our best hope is for scenario number one.  Displaying the class and dignity absent from the Colts, Bill Belichick has told Tom Brady that he is going to start against Houston.  I can’t believe I just typed that.  The Jets play the Bengals on Sunday night and Ochocinco has been talking trash on Twitter all week indicating the starters are also expected to play in that game.  The problem is both New England and Cincy are locked into the #3 and #4 seeds so regardless of what happens, neither team can earn a first round bye which means how long the starters play is anybody’s guess.

Of course, all these what ifs are pointless unless the Steelers take care of their own business against the Dolphins.  The Fins were basically eliminated from the race last week so they’re mostly playing the role of spoiler here.  The 1-15 Dolphins of 2007 probably weren’t that bad while the 11-5 team of last year probably wasn’t that good.  The 2009 team likely lies somewhere in between.

Offensively, they made great strides last season thanks to solid QB play from Chad Pennington and RB Ronnie Brown‘s exploits running the Wildcat.  Both players were lost to injury earlier in the season so the offense has had to change a bit.  Thanks to a resurgent Ricky Williams, they are still one of the top rushing teams in the NFL.  Former #1 overall pick Jake Long anchors a solid offensive line and former WVU Mountaineer Pat White provides a new twist to the Wildcat.  QB-of-the-future Chad Henne has come on as of late although this is still for all intents and purposes his rookie season.  He’s a stronger thrower than noodle-armed Pennington and has good instincts although their WR corps is pretty weak.  Basically, don’t let the Wildcat beat you and your chances of winning the game are pretty good.

Which is my one big concern this week.  Last week, the Steelers were gashed in the running game.  The loss of Aaron Smith and the abject failure of Lawrence Timmons as a run stopping LB finally reared its ugly head.  Also, the Wildcat is a formation which does very well against a pursuing type defense where players fly toward the ball and leave their gaps.  The Steelers fit that tendency to a tee.  I hate to remind people of this but recall the debacle in Cleveland a few weeks back where Josh Cribbs killed the Steelers running out of the Wildcat.  If the D can stay in their lanes and play a disciplined game, even our horrific secondary should be able to contain the Dolphins offense.

Defensively, Miami managed to hold nine opponents to 17 points or less last year, primarily due to a superb run defense.  Woodland Hills alum (and Dancing With The Stars champion) Jason “Twinkle Toes” Taylor returned after a one year vacation in Washington to shore up the pass rush while old friend Joey Porter continues to play at a high level.  Recognizing a weakness in their secondary, they used their first two draft picks on CBs Vontae Davis and Sean Smith.   Rookie CBs tend to struggle early on and thus Miami currently ranks near the bottom of the league in pass defense.

Which is obviously going music to the ears of newly elected Team MVP Ben Roethlisberger and the rest of the offense.  Even though Hines Ward is playing on two sprained hamstrings, he’ll suit up because the man is a warrior.  And the passing game still has plenty of  weapons regardless of his effectivenesss.  I’m most impressed by Steelers Rookie of the Year, Mike Wallace, who is quickly emerging as future star.  If Ben learns to air out the ball instead of underthrowing Wallace every damn time, we could be treated to a whole bunch of 40+ yard TDs for years to come.

Finally, a sad note.  Troy Polamalu had targeted this game for his return.  Although he has practiced in a limited fashion all week, all indications are he will not play.  Actually, I’m happy for that.   Not that I wouldn’t love to see #43 flying all over the field.  In practical terms, this game means nothing.   If the Steelers win and don’t get help, Troy rushed himself back for no reason.  If the Steelers win and manage to sneak into the playoffs, I’d rather have Troy back for that game than this one.

Let’s just hope there is one more game left to play after this week.

Legendary Steelers coach Bill Cowher announced on CBS’s Sunday Pregame Show that he will not return to the sidelines in 2009. Instead he plans on spending another year trying to decipher the Captain Caveman-like mumblings of Shannon Sharpe. This news is no doubt a shattering blow to pretty much every franchise that missed the playoffs and/or just plain sucks and thinks The Chin is the man to save them.

The past week saw Cowher linked to every coaching vacancy and even a few jobs which aren’t currently vacant. It began with the Cleveland Browns making an overture to which Bill responded LOL. Memo to Cleveland: the man wants to WIN and everybody knows the Browns will never win anything. Then the New York Jets put him on their wishlist. ESPN had a crawl all day Thursday noting “Cowher and the Jets show mutual interest.” This interest was so mutual that Cowher rejected their interest the next day, having not even bothered to MEET them. Only in NY do people seem to think everybody is just dying to be used and abused by their ignorant disloyal fans and douchebag media.

In any case, Cowher did leave the door open by saying he will re-evaluate his retirement on a year-by-year basis. So next year when the axe falls on a half dozen inept coaches the day after the season ends, expect to hear Chris Mortenson, Jay Glazer, and that Crypt Keeper-looking dude on ESPN bring up his name in connection with every opening. And also expect every blog or fansite which follows a lousy team to keep bringing his name up as the one true savior who can come along and make everything right again.

Here’s hoping he stays retired. No need to ruin his legacy by coming back to a bad situation like Kansas City or Jacksonville and then stumbling through several good but not great seasons before becoming a victim to the unrealistic expectations of the fans.

Besides, Joe Pa can’t stick around forever. Who wouldn’t want to see The Chin lead his Nittany Lions on to the field down in Happy Valley?

Wild Card Weekend Playoff Wrap-Up

Pittsburgh West Cardinals over Falcons 30-24: The Cards were playing possum the past month as a string of phoned in performances were replaced by an amped up intensity which the young Falcons couldn’t match. Former Pitt superstar WR Larry Fitzgerald made an incredible 42 yard TD catch for the first score of the game and Atlanta simply couldn’t keep up when the game turned into a shoot-out. NFL Rushing Leader Michael Turner was bottled up and Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan had several rookie moments as the Card advanced to face the Carolina Panthers next week.

Chargers over Colts 23-17 (OT): The best game of the weekend ended with yet another early playoff exit by the underachieving Colts and undeserving NFL MVP Peyton Manning. The Colts have made the playoffs something like 8 straight years but been one-and-done in half of them. In fact, if not for Steve McNair outchoking Pey-Pey back in 2006, he could very well be football’s version of A-Rod (minus the purple lipstick and washed up pop star girlfriend). I’ll have more on the Chargers later this week as they come to Pittsburgh for an AFC Divisional Playoff game.

Ravens over Dolphins 27-9: Baltimore laid a total whuppin’ on Goldie Hawn’s favorite team, utterly exposing Chad Pennington and humbling the Fins in Miami. Pennington threw 4 picks, topped off by one being returned 64 yards for a TD by notorious ballhawk Ed Reed. Former Pitt recruit Joe Flacco became the first rookie QB to win a road playoff game as his steady play aided by an excellent running attack advanced them forward to a rematch with the top seeded Tennessee Titans next Saturday in Nashville.

Eagles over Vikings 26-14: Minny QB Tarvaris Jackson proved overmatched for the Eagles defense while superstar RB Adrian Peterson was held mostly in check (except for a 40 yard TD scamper, he was pretty well contained). Donovan McNabb made enough big plays, mostly set up by the return abilities of WR Desean Jackson, to put the Eagles ahead. RB Brian Westbrook sealed the deal with a 71 yard TD which began as a 3 yard screen but he took all the way to the end zone. Philly heads to the Meadowlands next week for a third game against their hated divisional foe New York Giants.