The beleaguered Pittsburgh Steelers defense was dealt a crippling blow yesterday when it was announced DE Aaron Smith is likely gone for the next three months. Head coach Mike Tomlin at his Tuesday cliche-fest press conference said Smith suffered a torn rotator cuff during Sunday’s game against the Lions. No specifics were given on exactly when or how this injury occurred. A torn rotator cuff is an odd injury as outside of quarterbacks and Pittsburgh Pirates #1 draft picks, this is the first time I’ve heard of it in football.

In fact, I neglected to mention anything being awry during my obnoxiously long post-game recap because, well, nobody knew Smith was hurt. Evidently, he was injured sometime in the third quarter but other than missing a handful of snaps here and there, he continued to play. I suffer indescribable pain from a pebble in my shoe so I can’t imagine engaging in trench warfare with a blown out shoulder. Aaron Smith is officially a man’s man.

The loss of Smith comes just as the Steeler D is expecting superstar safety Troy Polamalu back. Although Troy should help solidify what has become a horror show of a secondary, losing Smith creates a brand new set of problems for Dick LeBeau and company. The saying, “If it wasn’t for bad luck…” comes springing to mind.

Smith is universally considered the best 3-4 end in the league. In normal speak, he’s really good at creating gaps for the linebackers to make plays. More importantly, he’s the key to our run defense. Before Smith tore his bicep in 2007, the Steelers were the #1 team against the rush. Shortly thereafter, they gave up over 200 yards to the Jaguars duo of Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew. I’m not so much worried about the running game this week but the week after that the Black and Gold plays this dude up in Minnesota, I forget his name, Adrian whatshisface…

We’re in trouble.

Unless of course somebody steps up in his place. The Steelers invested their 1st round draft pick this year in a defensive end by the name of Ziggy Hood. Unfortunately, in the words of Tomlin, “he’s not quite ready to come out of the oven yet.” Which means Ziggy is either still learning LeBeau’s defense or he’s the Muffin Man. Do you know the Muffin Man?

What made the Steelers defense special last season was the fact none of their key players missed any significant time.  This year, it’s been one catastrophic injury after the other.  Losing Casey Hampton or Willie Parker for a game or two isn’t that big of a deal because the drop-off with their backups isn’t so steep.  When you go from a stud like Smith to a platoon featuring the law firm of Kirschke, Eason, and Hood, that’s the Grand Canyon.

Yep, we’re in trouble.   Big trouble.

Too bad they can’t bring their cheerleaders.

The San Diego Chargers return to the sloppy tundra of Heinz Field in a rematch of a week 11 contest which ended by the improbable score of 11-10.  It actually should have been 17-10 but one of the refs got a call from his bookie wrong thus negating Troy Polamalu‘s last minute TD return of a fumbled lateral.  Let’s hope the NFL assigns a competent crew to the Divisional Playoff game this Sunday.  Last thing we need is a replay of last year’s playoff debacle against Jacksonville where the officials mysteriously missed three blatant holding penalties on the QB scramble which set up the game winning FG.

Regardless of the final score, anybody who thinks the Pittsburgh Steelers have a decided advantage because of their performance in their first meeting didn’t watch the game.  On paper, it looks like a one-sided slaughter.  QB Ben Roethlisberger threw for 308 yards, WR Hines Ward caught 11 balls for 124 yards (plus 6 for 55 by TE Matt Spaeth), and Fast Willie Parker had a rare 100 yard day.  The defense held San Diego to 218 total yards while picking off Philip Rivers twice.

However, the Steelers did not score an offensive touchdown the entire game.  How you may ask?  Penalties killed them.  They were flagged 13 times for an atrocious 115 yards. Several of these negated big plays, particularly the one which cost them a TD bomb to Nate Washington.  They also struggled badly on key short yardage conversions, getting stifled on third and shorts while also failing to punch it in on a big 4th and goal play.

Most importantly, the story of the game was the inclimate weather that day.  Playing in steady flurries on a frozen field, the San Diego defenders played well off the recievers.  They didn’t want to chance slipping and allowing them to run by for a big gain.  If the weathermen can be believed, and I don’t believe anyone not named Kudzma, the weather should be markedly better this weekend.

Without the climate advantage, this game could easily go very differently.  The Chargers showed good coverage against the pass happy Indianapolis Colts so thinking the game will follow the same script is unrealistic.  The Steelers better not fool themselves into thinking the running game will not be a huge factor.  Ignore the mantra of a good ground game always wins in the playoffs at your own peril, Bruce Arians.

Since I’ve already done a highly detailed breakdown of the two teams, I won’t bother to repeat it.  The key changes since then are both Chargers RB Ladainian Thomlinson and the Steelers’ Roethlisberger coming off injuries.   Thomlinson has his groin muscle separated from his pelvis (raise your hand if you just crossed your legs and grimaced) and probably won’t play (he may not even dress).   He’ll be replaced by a midget named Darren Sproles, a burner who Indy had no answer for.  Ben was concussed in the season finale against the hapless Browns.  He was apparently given a green light, although anybody who has been knocked loopy will tell you that the affects can last weeks or months.  If this concussion affects his decision making skills one iota, head coach Mike Tomlin’s season ending gambit will go down as one of the biggest blunders in Pittsburgh sports history.

The Chargers.  The Steelers.  Heinz Field.  The 2008 NFL Playoffs.  One team takes a step forward toward glory while the other has their season end in a hail of frustration and tears.  As the Joker said in the best movie of the year, “And…here…we…go…”

Legendary Steelers coach Bill Cowher announced on CBS’s Sunday Pregame Show that he will not return to the sidelines in 2009. Instead he plans on spending another year trying to decipher the Captain Caveman-like mumblings of Shannon Sharpe. This news is no doubt a shattering blow to pretty much every franchise that missed the playoffs and/or just plain sucks and thinks The Chin is the man to save them.

The past week saw Cowher linked to every coaching vacancy and even a few jobs which aren’t currently vacant. It began with the Cleveland Browns making an overture to which Bill responded LOL. Memo to Cleveland: the man wants to WIN and everybody knows the Browns will never win anything. Then the New York Jets put him on their wishlist. ESPN had a crawl all day Thursday noting “Cowher and the Jets show mutual interest.” This interest was so mutual that Cowher rejected their interest the next day, having not even bothered to MEET them. Only in NY do people seem to think everybody is just dying to be used and abused by their ignorant disloyal fans and douchebag media.

In any case, Cowher did leave the door open by saying he will re-evaluate his retirement on a year-by-year basis. So next year when the axe falls on a half dozen inept coaches the day after the season ends, expect to hear Chris Mortenson, Jay Glazer, and that Crypt Keeper-looking dude on ESPN bring up his name in connection with every opening. And also expect every blog or fansite which follows a lousy team to keep bringing his name up as the one true savior who can come along and make everything right again.

Here’s hoping he stays retired. No need to ruin his legacy by coming back to a bad situation like Kansas City or Jacksonville and then stumbling through several good but not great seasons before becoming a victim to the unrealistic expectations of the fans.

Besides, Joe Pa can’t stick around forever. Who wouldn’t want to see The Chin lead his Nittany Lions on to the field down in Happy Valley?

Wild Card Weekend Playoff Wrap-Up

Pittsburgh West Cardinals over Falcons 30-24: The Cards were playing possum the past month as a string of phoned in performances were replaced by an amped up intensity which the young Falcons couldn’t match. Former Pitt superstar WR Larry Fitzgerald made an incredible 42 yard TD catch for the first score of the game and Atlanta simply couldn’t keep up when the game turned into a shoot-out. NFL Rushing Leader Michael Turner was bottled up and Rookie of the Year Matt Ryan had several rookie moments as the Card advanced to face the Carolina Panthers next week.

Chargers over Colts 23-17 (OT): The best game of the weekend ended with yet another early playoff exit by the underachieving Colts and undeserving NFL MVP Peyton Manning. The Colts have made the playoffs something like 8 straight years but been one-and-done in half of them. In fact, if not for Steve McNair outchoking Pey-Pey back in 2006, he could very well be football’s version of A-Rod (minus the purple lipstick and washed up pop star girlfriend). I’ll have more on the Chargers later this week as they come to Pittsburgh for an AFC Divisional Playoff game.

Ravens over Dolphins 27-9: Baltimore laid a total whuppin’ on Goldie Hawn’s favorite team, utterly exposing Chad Pennington and humbling the Fins in Miami. Pennington threw 4 picks, topped off by one being returned 64 yards for a TD by notorious ballhawk Ed Reed. Former Pitt recruit Joe Flacco became the first rookie QB to win a road playoff game as his steady play aided by an excellent running attack advanced them forward to a rematch with the top seeded Tennessee Titans next Saturday in Nashville.

Eagles over Vikings 26-14: Minny QB Tarvaris Jackson proved overmatched for the Eagles defense while superstar RB Adrian Peterson was held mostly in check (except for a 40 yard TD scamper, he was pretty well contained). Donovan McNabb made enough big plays, mostly set up by the return abilities of WR Desean Jackson, to put the Eagles ahead. RB Brian Westbrook sealed the deal with a 71 yard TD which began as a 3 yard screen but he took all the way to the end zone. Philly heads to the Meadowlands next week for a third game against their hated divisional foe New York Giants.

Going into this season, the Tennessee Titans were considered an afterthought in a division which contained the perennially powerful Colts and up-and-coming Jaguars.  Although they also made the playoffs last year, losing to the Chargers in the Wild Card Round, people seemed to think Jacksonville was the team primed to make the jump to the next level when Peyton Manning and company began their eventual decline.

The Jags were quickly exposed as an overrated farce of a team while Indianapolis stumbled out of the gate due to injuries to key players.  Meanwhile, Tennessee got off to a fast start and never looked back.  Throughout the majority of the season, the Titans have consistently been ranked the top team in the AFC.  While it was easily justied when they were undefeated, the team has gone 2-2 over the past four games and could even wind up losing the #1 seed in the playoffs if they were to lose this weekend.

While their opponents, the Pittsburgh Steelers, have marched through the toughest schedule in NFL history, a close examination of Tennessee’s year reveals an assortment of creampuffs and pushovers.  Rather than just knee-jerk declaring them the best team in the AFC due to their record, it becomes more and more apparent that this is a team whose reputation is built on a lie.  In fact, going week by week through their schedule, it becomes more and more clear that this team hasn’t beat anybody at all.

1 – Jacksonville W (17 – 10)     Jacksonville (5-9) stinks.

2 – Cincinnati W (24 – 7)       Cincinnati (2-11) stinks.

3 – Houston W (31 – 12)     Houston (7-7) came on late but stunk early.

4 – Minnesota W (30 – 17)     Winning record but Gus Frerotte?  Really?

5 – Baltimore W (13 – 10)    Rookie QB on a team that we beat twice.

7 – Kansas City W (34 – 10)     KC (2-12) stinks.

8 – Indianapolis W (31 – 21)     Manning, Harrison, and Sanders were all hurt.

9 – Green Bay W (19 – 16)     Green Bay (5-9) stinks yet came thisclose.

10 – Chicago W (21 – 14)     Kyle Orton?

11 – Jacksonville W (24 – 14)     See above.

12 – NY Jets L (34 – 13)      Jets are overrated yet blew them out at home.

13 – Detroit W (47 – 10)     Detroit (0-14) really really stinks.

14 – Cleveland W (28 – 9)       Cleveland (4-10) stinks.

15 – Houston L (13-12)        Another loss, this to a non-playoff team.

From what I’m seeing, they have two quality wins (Baltimore and Indianapolis).  The games against the NFC North teams don’t count because that division is the NFL’s version of a Cripple Fight.  Two of them don’t have quarterbacks, the one that does has no defense, and the fourth is the Pittsburgh Pirates of football.  Every other game is either against a bottom 5 team or a loss.  Color me unimpressed.

What would we do without Philly?   Between their dumbass wide receiver spiking the ball a yard before he reached the end zone, their drug hoarding deadbeat dad of a coach, and their tubby quarterback who can’t run a hurry up offense without puking his guts all over the sideline, that team continues to be the NFL equivalent of an older brother who is fun to invite to parties but sadly still lives in our mother’s basement.

Anyway, in news related to the one team Pennsylvanians can be proud of, it’s the first double-dip of the season for the beloved Pittsburgh Steelers as the hated Cincinnati Bengals come to town for the second half of our annual two game set. Let’s hope it doesn’t end in a tie.

Since I already previewed the two teams, there’s no sense in repeating my brilliant and usually spot-on analysis. Instead, I’ll simply touch on issues relevant to the upcoming game.

Of course, the picture above is in reference to the Bengal’s tie against the Philadelphia Eagles, the first since the Steelers drew with the Dirty Birds back in ’02. I caught a bit of the game and it was less a hard fought battle and more a cripple fight. Philly didn’t seem too eager to win (although in Donavan McNabb’s case, he probably thought he had two or three more OTs to get the job done) while Cincy snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by shanking a 47 yard FG to win the game. Still, the fact the same fearsome Iggles team which handed us our worst loss of the season was battled to a standstill by Cincy should fill us with both fear and shame.

In fact, since we last saw the Bengals, they’ve actually started to play like a professional football team. They got crushed by Houston after losing to us but then went down to Jacksonville and beat the sissies in teal for their first win. Earlier in the year, they took the Giants team with only 1 loss and who beat us up into OT.  Despite the fact they’re a punchline to many jokes and this season will probably cost Marvin Lewis his job, they’re nowhere near as pathetic as say Oakland or Detroit.

To be fair, the 38-10 final score in our first game looks like a blowout but the game was a much closer battle than that. The Steelers were nursing a slim 3 point margin at halftime despite the fact Cincy QB Ryan Fitzpatrick was sacked every other play and they didn’t get into positive total yardage until the final drive of the half. Our offense didn’t perform much better until they figured out CB Jonathan Joseph couldn’t cover his mouth on a sneeze and beat him deep with Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington.

It’s a little perplexing how the Bengals have managed to stay in games. Harvard alum Fitzpatrick, frankly, stinks. He’s got the lowest QB Rating in the league (71.3!) and considering the talent this team has at WR, it’s amazing he only has 5 measly TD passes. They’ve all but given up on RB Chris Perry and handed main backfield duties to Bears castoff Cedric Benson. Chad Ocho Cinco has only quatro scoreos and is on pace for only about 500 total receiving yards. T.J. Houshalottaletters is one of the elite WRs in the league but that shouldn’t be enough to keep them competitive. But they have been.

The game will present an interesting match-up for the Steelers as 2/3 of the Three Amigos (Bryant McFadden and Deshea Townshend) will once again be inactive. Manly William Gay and Anthony Madison did a good job against San Diego last week although the weather helped a bit in that the Chargers speed in the vertical passing game was limited on the slippy chewed up field. Fernando Bryant looked shaky but he only had about 3 days of practice so if he does play on Thursday, let’s hope he’s a bit more up to speed. It looks the rest of the Blitzburgh D will be ready to go which is good news for those of us who enjoy seeing James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley chase QBs like a dog chasing a bone.

Offensively, it appears RG Darnell Stapleton will be good to go which means it’ll be the usual gang of idiots manning the OL. Well, LT Marvel Smith is listed as out, too, but at this point I think it’s safe to just give up on him permanently. Fast Willie Parker managed to play an entire game without incurring another injury so we might just have him in the starting line up for two consecutive games. Hooray for modern medical science and/or Oxycontin! FWP will be a big addition because Cincy has a horrible run defense which should allow him to pile up a good amount of yardage.

Despite the Bengals playing gamely in the face of certain doom and the historical fact of them tending to rise to the occasion when they play us, there really is no excuse for us to lose this game. A great offensive performance won’t mean much but it would be a baby step in the right direction. As the Steelers gear up for the final month of the season and, hopefully, a playoff run, bringing that offense along one baby step at a time should be one of the main goals each and every week.