The Harbaughs not sure what the gatorade bath scenario would be with a tie game. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned In Week 10 in the NFL:

• Atlanta loses unbeaten season in New Orleans
• Ratbirds let loose on the Raiders
• Giants falter in Cincy
• Eagles season goes down the drain along with Reed and Vick’s jobs
• 49ers and Rams get NFL’s first tie since 2008
• Texans D dominates hyped Chicago D

While it was a Steeler-less Sunday in the NFL there were some definitely good matchups worth taking a look at to satisfy your craving for football.  Going into Week 10 Atlanta remained the only unbeaten team in the NFL and quite possibly the least respected team as well.  No one was willing to give the Falcons any credit for their great start considering they’ve looked promising in the regular season in years past and have yet to win a playoff game under Matt Ryan.  Unfortunately for the Falcons, they’re going to get even less respect now as their bid for a perfect season fell at the hands of division rival New Orleans in a tight game. (more…)

Heath Miller is having a Probowl year for the Steelers. Mandatory Credit: Jason Bridge-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned in Week 8 in the NFL:

• San Diego out Browns the Browns
• The Patriots should play every game in London
• Jets get housed by Dolphins at home
• Cowboys have genius play calling
• Cam Newton is still pouting
• Steelers bumble bee uniforms sting RG3

Am I right or am I right about Steeler Nation being a happier place to be after a win?  The Steelers put together their best overall performance of the season on Sunday afternoon but we’ll get into that a little later.  We got cheap shots to take.  First up; my favorite overrated quarterback, Philip Rivers.  San Diego, which of course is German for “a whale’s vagina” played as such in Cleveland.  The Chargers failed to reach the endzone the entire game thanks to some bad drops, bad punts, and the super inefficiency of Rivers.  The Browns scored one touchdown on a Trent Richardson run and that proved to be the only points they needed to get passed Norv Turner’s Chargers.  Why does that guy still have a head coaching job again? (more…)

Thirty-six hours after the Pittsburgh Steelers punched their ticket to Super Bowl XLV, everybody’s talking about…

Well, they’re talking about a lot of things except the big game.  They’re talking about Mark Sanchez picking a winner.  They’re talking about Jay Cutler and his lack of testicles.  Seriously, Steeler Nation, how lucky are we to have Ben Roethlisberger?  Can you imagine if we had a crybaby like Tom Brady who whines for a flag every time somebody breathes on him or a human mangina like Cutler?   I goof on Ben occasionally being a drama queen but the man really is a piece of iron.

He’s also a hot piece of ass, according to Rashard Mendenhall.  I understand getting excited about going to the Super Bowl but that’s just wrong man…  At least give the big fella a reach around.  See what you missed out on by always blowing things in the playoffs, Kordell?

I’m not sure why I failed to notice the video above during the game.  I was probably distracted by the fight breaking out in the background since violence interests me much more than sex.  If you recall, a New York Jet came diving over the line on the first Victory Formation kneel down which got tempers flaring.   Ordinarily, I’d accuse them of playing dirty but considering the Big Legursky flubbed a couple snaps earlier, I don’t blame them for trying desperate tactics.

Speaking of the center situation, still no word whose crotch Big Ben will be reaching under in Dallas.  Maurkice Pouncey is being listed as a high ankle sprain which usually keeps guys out anywhere from three to six weeks.  Pouncer claims he had the same injury in college and played the next game.  I’m not going to make any predictions but as long as he doesn’t see the same gynecologist as Cutler, I have a feeling the kid is going to at least give it a go.

The Pittsburgh Steelers tasted their first defeat of the 2009 season with a heartbreaking 17-14 loss to the Chicago Bears.

As is usually the case with the Steelers, this was a loss which didn’t have to be. The Black and Gold had every opportunity to win this game and but for one individual failing twice in crucial situations, their fortunes could have easily been reversed. I won’t belabor who the goat was because he knows who he is and we know who he is. What I will say is every Sheetz in Western Pennsylvania better be on high alert over the next few days.

Still, it would be unfair to pin this loss on just one man, no matter how stupid his hair may be. Skippy Reed may be the obvious scapegoat but this defeat has many contributors. I know I must resist the yinzer urge to push the panic button. However, I’m honestly very disappointed with what I saw yesterday.

The first quarter couldn’t have gone any better. The Steeler D was dominant, limiting the Bears offense to 11 total yards. Ben Roethlisberger showed pinpoint accuracy, driving the team 92 yards in 13 plays over 8 minutes, capped off with a 1 yard TD pass to Matt Spaeth on a 4th down play. Nine of those plays were passes which we should have seen as a big neon warning sign.

Then the second quarter began. The Steelers once again drove deep into enemy territory. However, that came to an abrupt end when Big Ben (23/35 221 yards) underthrew his receiver for an INT. The poor throw was aided by a Bear pass rusher jostling Ben’s elbow while Max Starks flailed at him helplessly.  That’s what you like to see from your Franchise player. At this point, the entire tone of the game changed as this one play gave the Bears a spark they desperately needed.

After trading punts, da refs decided Da Bears needed some help. They flagged James Harrison for a personal foul when he was clearly pushed into the quarterback, then flagged Lawrence Timmons for a hold which was so Ticky-Tacky they should name a breath mint after it. Given those two gifts, Chicago QB Jay Cutler expertly led his team down the field by exploiting our secondary, particularly Will.i.am Gay.

Maybe it makes me a homophobe but I hate Gay. He made an idiot of himself at the Super Bowl Victory Parade and he’s always pounding his chest or doing bodybuilder poses whenever he makes a halfway decent play. Yet despite his big shot attitude, he continues to play like three pounds of monkey poop in a two pound bag. He’s always getting turned around, out of position, or playing 10 yards off his receiver. He’s going to be a major liability if the quality of his play doesn’t start to match his opinion of himself.

Again, to be fair, when the Bears finally scored on a 6 yard pass to Kellen Davis, it wasn’t young Will.i.am who was beaten. Nope, the crispy piece of toast on that particular play was Tyrone Carter. Troy’s replacement had a brutal game in every sense.  He absolutely blasted a couple guys on hits but he was also picked on more often than a Mathlete in high school. He doesn’t have the skills to cover anybody one-on-one and he misses a lot of tackles.

At halftime, the score was tied 7-7 and the two teams were practically even in every statistical category. The Steelers came out throwing  on 7 of their first 9 third quarter plays.  Unfortunately, Ben was colder than a virgin’s tit going 0 for 6.  He was aided by several sweet drops by Santonio Holmes, who needs to learn if you’re gonna smoke the doobie before a game always try to catch the one in the MIDDLE.  At this point, the Steelers had about 30 yards rushing and were chucking the ball almost every play, even though the game was being played on a sloppy field in driving rain.

Then it finally happened. We had a Rashard Mendenhall sighting. Perhaps the fact Rashard is a Chi-Town native had something to do with him playing with fire in his belly and Ben Gay on his balls but he finally looked like a 1st round draft pick. First, he took a busted screen pass, reversed direction all the way across the field, and made a 2 yard loss into a 13 yard gain. Then he blew through a narrow gap for a beautiful 39 yard scamper. Of course, wily mastermind Bruce Arians immediately decided to stick him on the bench for the rest of the game.  COACHING GENIUS!

Big Ben dove for the endzone like it was filled with MILFs wearing cowboy hats and the Steelers were up 14-7. On their next possession, the Holmes-Roethlisberger magic suddenly reappeared as they moved deep into Bears territory, aided by some nice hard running from Regular Ass Speed Fast Willie Parker. The offense sputtered inside the Chicago 10, culminating with Ben refusing to part with his precious spicy ranch chulupa football and taking a horrendous ten yard sack. This set the stage for Skippy missing his first FG, a 38 yarder which should’ve been a lot shorter.

Skippy’s impotence not only disappointed a legion of female Steeler fans but re-energized the Fighting Cutlers. Prettyboy Jay machine gunned the ball down the field by massacring Tyrone Carter at every opportunity. My boy, look what they did to my boy! This, this is an insult (and a TD to tie the score) I won’t soon forget.

Still, we had Ben and Ben is money when the game is on the line. With 6 minutes left, the Steelers decided to go no-huddle and throw the ball a billion times. Mind you, at this point Mendenhall had gashed them, FWP was running well, and even Mewelde Moore had a couple nice carries.  The Steeler running game amassed 105 yards on 22 carries, an excellent 4.8 average.  However, ball control or any sort of successful football strategy is meaningless because it was CHUCK AND DUCK TIME, BABY!

Heatmiser only looks like Skippy. He actually loves towel dispensers and makes game-winning field goals.

To their credit, the Steelers managed to move the ball, albeit without milking time off the clock or showing an effective red zone offense. This gave Skippy the opportunity to shank a 43 yarder.  Hey, we still had our defense, right? They’ll hold and we’ll take our chances in OT.

Great plan, except this time our defensive awesomness backfired. James Harrison allegedly tomahawk chopped the ball out of Matt Forte‘s hands on a 12 yard screen pass, although I think Forte just heard Harrison growl and threw the ball to the turf so he could cover the fact he peed his pants. The ball rolled another 7 yards downfield because the ball was also afraid of what Harrison would do if he got his hands on it.  This allowed Gregg Olsen to pounce, turning what should have been a Steeler fumble recovery in a just and fair universe into a 20 something yard gain for the lucky Bears. A couple short gains later and Robbie Gould proved his kicking skills were more powerful than Skippy’s Axe body spray, booting  a 44 yarder to give Chicago the 17-14 victory.

Last week, all we talked about was why our running game stunk. This week, all I can wonder is why did we abandon the running game when it was working? Why is our secondary suddenly full of holes? Why does Ben take such terrible sacks? Why did Jay Cutler not get so much as a broken fingernail from our supposedly fearsome pass rushers? We only had 1 sack. ONE SACK!?! What are we, the Cleveland Browns? Yes, the game was close and yes, we had a chance to win but if anybody feels good coming off this performance, you’re far more optimistic than I.

I began this week by posting a Playboy Playmate wearing Steeler-inspired bodypaint. Since this site has a number of female readers, I feel it’s only fair to finish the week with something for them. Therefore, enjoy these GQ style photos of Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.

Da Bears, of course, are this week’s opponent of your Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers. In order to better know our enemy, I reached out to Mike at Bear Goggles On to answer some questions about the modern day Monsters of the Midway.

When the Bears acquired Captain Crybaby Pouty McPouterson Droopy McGee Jay Cutler from Denver, I’m sure you were excited.  How you feelin’ after watching him toss 4 picks in the Bears loss on Sunday night?

Of course it was frustrating to see the centerpiece of the Bears’ offseason fall on his face in the season opener, but we’ve suffered with the likes of Rex Grossman and the clown car of quarterbacks for over 20 years. Jay is going to be fine if he can come to terms with the weapons (or lack thereof) that he has and tries not to fix 20+ years of quarterbacking ineptitude with each pass.

The Bears have lost Brian Urlacher to a season ending wrist
injury.  I don’t mean to rub salt in the wound but we have our own problems with Troy Polamalu.  Anyway, how’s losing him going to affect your defense?

Losing Urlacher certainly hurts, especially with the defensive scheme the Bears run. In the Cover-2 or Tampa-2 as it’s know, the middle linebacker has responsibility for the deep middle of the field in passing situations.

Urlacher’s replacement, Hunter Hillenmeyer, is a nice player, but he doesn’t have the speed to cover that area. It will be a challenge for Lovie Smith to put schemes and personnel groups together to make up for that loss.

I expect the Steelers to challenge the Bears with post routes in that deep middle, especially off play-action.

Who wins in a foot race, Devin Hester or a puma?  Do any of your
other receivers have a chance or are they Meow Mix?

I’ve got Hester by a nose. Speaking of speedy receivers, look out for rookie Johnny Knox. The kid is a burner who has shown flashes in the preseason and had a nice 68 yard catch in Week 1.

Lovie Smith has been your head coach since 2004.  The team made it all the way to Super Bowl XLI while under his leadership.  Right place/right time or is he that good?

I think Lovie is on the Hot Seat this season, injuries or not. If the Bears miss the playoffs again, it will be the third year in a row. That’s not good enough. Lovie added a little pressure to himself by adding the defensive playcalling to his game day duties, so if the defense is messed up, it’s on him. I think it’s playoffs or bust for Lovie.

Speaking of head coaches, the Chicago sports fan became famous
thanks to those old Saturday Night Live skits where they coined the phrase, “Da Bears.”  Is Mike Ditka still a legend to Chicagoans?

Ditka has become a caricature of himself, like on his bottle of Kick Ass Red. All he is around Chicago today is the Next Great American pitchman to hock anything from Salsa to cigars. It goes to show that winning a championship in Chicago is like winning the lottery or getting a lifetime pension.

Final Score?!?

My prediction for Sunday – Bears 23 –Steelers 19. Why? Because I can’t face the harsh reality of an 0-2 start to the season.

REALLY?!  You think they’ll score 23 points on the Steelers defense??!?  WTF?!?

Err, sorry, got carried away with the bold-facing there.  This is Chris, NPC has reverted back to my control (and regular style type).  Well, there you have it.  A view from the eyes of the enemy.  Hopefully this Sunday, the only sight the Steelers will be seeing is a view to a kill.