Who could play Unitas better? Joe Flacco or this statue?

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• Joe Flacco to star as Johnny Unitas in film
• Rob Gronkowski suffers set back with arm injury
• NFL to install cameras in locker rooms for fans inside stadium to view

Break out your Hater-ade it’s time to take some more shots at Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco.  Apparently Flacco has added movie star to his new titles which include Super Bowl MVP, highest paid QB, and overall boring dude.  If you saw this headline yesterday and had an “Um, what?” moment; you’re not alone.  More reports regarding the drama behind the film are coming out now and are pretty entertaining, if you ask me.  Seems as though Mr. Unitas’ son from his second marriage is behind the production of the biographical movie and his older children and grandchildren are none too pleased.

Joe Unitas, John’s son from his second marriage is the one producing the film based on a book by Tom Callahan (who apparently is not Tommy Boy, another disappointment) and is thrilled to have Flacco cast as his father.  John Unitas Jr., and his son JC Unitas, however, aren’t exactly in the same boat.  JC took to his Facebook page to explain his feelings about the choice of Flacco as “embarrassing”.  He added,

“My grandfather and his legacy deserves only the best, and this is not it.  Has Baltimore forgotten that Trent Dilfer also won a Super Bowl while playing for Baltimore?”

Awesome.  I couldn’t have put it better myself.  The story gets better to reveal the family drama surrounding the production of the film.  John Unitas Jr. spoke with USA TODAY Sports to explain how Joe has been estranged from the rest of his half-siblings and they consider him just trying to cash in on the Unitas name.

“It is awful.  The guy’s a turd.  He never talked to me.  He never talked to any of the first five children.  He’s a guy that’s just making money off of my father.  They’re trying to do anything on the coattails of my father’s name.  It’s like prostituting yourself.  My father would have nothing to do with it.”

Apparently the “turd” reference was to Joe Unitas and not, in fact, Joe Flacco although we can all just assume he meant Flacco was a turd as well.

Seems as though The Gronk might have some issues in his recovery from his 114^th arm surgery and might be in jeopardy of missing the opener with this latest setback.  The Boston Globe reported that Gronkowski has been battling an infection in the area in which a metal plate was installed to restore his broken left arm and the plate might need to be removed to clear the infection.  There is no confirmation that the infection has come from his propensity to hang out with porn stars and party at nightclubs shirtless, but we can all draw our own conclusions.  Looks like he will need another surgery which will definitely push back his return to the team quite possibly after the start of the season.  This is bad news for the Pats, who have already lost Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd to free agency this offseason.  If you’re a bitter, spiteful Steeler fan like me you always enjoy some bad news for the Patriots.

The NFL is once again attempting to enhance the fan experience at game stadiums, without lowering ticket and concession costs of course, by installing cameras in NFL locker rooms to give the fans inside the stadium a glimpse into the pre, post, and halftime game speeches.  I’m only assuming that’s what the idea is since I wouldn’t think the NFL is specifically trying to give the fans a peep show.  If that is the case, however, anyone know where I can get my hands on some season tickets?  The NFL has also encouraged teams to use their jumbo-trons to show the unbiased replays in which the refs review, to give the fans in the stadium a more “insider view” on things to counteract how much access a fan watching the game at home can get.  That’s an awesome idea.  I’d gladly pay 3 times face value for seats, $25 for parking and $8 a beer so I can watch the same replays that I could watch from my couch and see Ben get his ankle re-wrapped for the second half when I’m not waiting in line for the bathroom.  I’m being sarcastic of course, but I am a fan that does enjoy the experience of going to games even without these half-assed attempts to improve them.  It’s a little insulting that the NFL can’t bother to improve the game experience in ways that are actually meaningful like lowering ticket prices or increasing fan interaction with players before or after games.

What do you think Steeler Nation?  What’s your opinion on Joe Flacco as Johnny Unitas?  Do you like the idea of locker room cams for stadiums?

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Maybe he can buy a personality now. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• Joe Flacco becomes the NFL’s highest paid player
• Willie Gay returns to Pittsburgh
• Steelers do not use Franchise Tag for the third season in a row

Welcome to the Tuesday morning edition of my MMQB.  I couldn’t possibly let the week go by before dumping all over Joe Flacco’s contract now could I?  In this Bizzaro World we are living in right now where the Baltimore Ratbirds are the Super Bowl Champions and Joe Flacco is an MVP, we’ve now gotten a little weirder as he became the highest paid player in the NFL with his giant contract extension.  Not to be outdone by the men in purple to the south, the Steelers countered the Joe Flacco news with a splash signing of themselves.  Pittsburgh welcomes back Big Play Willie Gay to the Black & Gold as we all know we needed a scooch more depth in the secondary and Darrelle Revis was just outside our price range.  Cue Willie Gay haters.  For the third season in a row the Steelers declined to use the franchise tag on anyone and they weren’t the only team to do as such.  Only 8 players in the NFL received the tag, pretty much guaranteeing a lot of players are going to be moving around the league once the free agency period opens March 12^th.

How many cheap shots can be taken at Joe Flacco’s 6 year, $120 million contract?  Let’s see, we have to first give the dude credit for taking a chance on himself by turning down a more modest deal last offseason and gambling on his own abilities (or sheer luck, depending on how you look at it) to earn the highest contract in the league.  So the biggest credit for Joe Flacco’s instant fortune should go to none other than Denver safety Rahim Moore.  Moore’s total brain fart in coverage of Jacoby Jones that allowed Flacco’s signature chucking of the ball as hard as he can let Jones catch the 70 yard game-tying touchdown with 31 seconds left in regulation and set up the Ratbirds improbable 38-35 win in double overtime to propel them to the AFC Championship.  Here’s hoping Flacco takes Rahim out for a steak at the very least.  On second thought, he’s probably still bummed about that play so Flacco should probably take him to the strip club instead.   The Ratbirds were able to get Flacco’s ink on the contract before they had to franchise him and eat up a bunch of their cap space for 2013 in the process.  Although Bert will average about $20 million a season with his new deal, the reported cap hit this season is just under $7 million, which will give the Ratbirds the opportunity to sign more than just their personalityless quarterback.

Welcome back Willie. Mandatory Credit: Eric P. Mull-USA TODAY Sports

As much as we all know that as soon as a player, coach, or any other person with any kind of ties to the Steelers organization is released for one reason or another the Arizona Cardinals will pounce on them like they’re the last donut in the box.  But now we know that you can come home again once you’ve been out in Steelers West.  The Cardinals released former Steelers CB Willie Gay rather than pay him the $3.225 million he was due and the Steelers quickly scooped him back up.  The signing provides a modicum of insurance in case Keenan Lewis is lost to free agency, but most of all provides depth in the secondary either way.

Speaking of free agency and Keenan Lewis, the Steelers declined to tag Lewis this Monday thereby allowing him to enter the realms of free agency if they cannot extend his deal before next week.  As Craig pointed out, the Steelers didn’t have many options when it came to using the tag as they’re already in a pinch when it comes to the cap this season and each position for tagging a player have quite a hefty cap hit associated.  The Steelers have gone the past three seasons without tagging anyone and thanks to going on a restructuring rampage the past couple of weeks, just might be in the position to offer a reasonable contract to Lewis other than using the tag, as Colbert has put that Lewis was their top FA priority of the offseason.  For those of you still holding out hope that Mike Wallace will resign with the Steelers you might want to check into some kind of support group for that.

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Flacco doing his best Kobra Kai. ‘Take him out!’
Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

Steeler Nation, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Joe Flacco may not be an elite quarterback, but he sure is elite when it comes to being a huge dumb ass.  His dumb assery apparently knows no bounds, especially when it comes to knowing the rules of football… or heck, when it comes to being a good sportsman.

The final play of Super Bowl XLVII came down to a free kick from Baltimore to the 49′ers.  Niners Ted Ginn Jr. was to receive that free kick and had the opportunity to either run back the kick or signal for a fair catch with four seconds left on the clock.  Ginn chose to run for a score, but was tackled at the 50-yard line to end the game.  But if Ginn were to get past the eleven Ravens on the field, there were 41 other players that could have taken Ginn out from the sideline.  And Flacco, was pretty much ring leading them all prior to the kick itself to do just that.  Here is the exchange that NFL Films caught from Flacco’s mic he just so happened to be wearing the entire game:

“If he starts to break it, go tackle him,” Flacco told Pitta.

“Really?” Pitta said.

“”I don’t know. I mean, what else what could they I don’t know,” Flacco said. “They might be able to give him a touchdown on that, but I don’t know.”

Flacco then shares the same message with Birk.

“Hey, if he breaks it, if he busts it for some reason, tackle him, go tackle him,” Flacco said.

“Why can’t you?” asked Yanda.

“I will,” Flacco said. “I’m going to.”

Jesus.  This something like out of the Karate Kid where the leader of the Kobra Kai tells his little pupil to take out poor little Danny.  However, I seriously doubt our beloved Bert would have the guts to do something like that on his own.  Besides, his ‘elite’ status would be tarnished were he the one to pull such an egregious move.  But, if he could get one of his teammates to do it, he would be free of guilt, a Super Bowl winner, an MVP, and waiting for his ‘Elite’ status card to come in the mail.  Except the boy wonder genius forgot something – the rules.  Rule 12, Section 3, Aricle 3 of the NFL Rule Books states the following:

“Palpably Unfair Act. A player or substitute shall not interfere with play by any act which is palpably unfair. Penalty: For a palpably unfair act: Offender may be disqualified. The Referee, after consulting his crew, enforces any such distance penalty as they consider equitable and irrespective of any other specified code penalty. The Referee may award a score.”

Ruh roh Joe.

The officiating crew was already having one hell of an evening with trying to make good calls (it wasn’t), and this would have blown the roof off the Super Dome.  But the rule clearly states that the Referee may award a score.  If Ginn had a clear field to score and a Raven jumped out and tackled Ginn, then there’s no doubt that the crew would have awarded Ginn the touchdown anyways.  Think of it like a penalty shot in hockey, except that there’s no goalie waiting in the net.

So there are a few things here.  1) If that were to really happen, we would have witnessed the most bizarre and most asinine stunt ever pulled in professional sports (aside from the Cotton Bowl of 1954 where this very thing happened).  2)  It would have been awesome to see the Ravens lose the game in that fashion, not only for the glorious satisfaction of seeing them lose and no championship for Ray Lewis, but also because their star and ‘elite’ QB appeared desperate enough to cheat.  3) Regardless of the outcome of this game, Joe Flacco is forever a stupid, uni brow’ed, jackass for even considering something like interfering with a play from the sidelines – aka CHEATING.  God, just thinking about hearing that exchange between him and the other players makes it sound like he’s the playground bully who dares you to go push some kid in mud, or go eat that green puss oozing out from the dumpster.  How old are you?  Where is your maturity?  (The ‘retarded’ Super Bowl media day comment is really starting to make sense now.)

Yes Joe Flacco is the Super Bowl MVP  - where the P stand for Pea brain.  I almost wish it really did happen because then Flacco would have been exposed for the jag he really is.  Instead, everyone chuckles at how ludicrous it was to think about doing something like that and that he was more than likely joking.  Right.  Joking.  So, just like his other high class act, Ray Lewis, Flacco’s ill thought out actions as a man and sportsman will be overlooked.  He’ll be elevated to whatever status ESPN wants him at and Baltimore will slap that franchise tag on him for his big $20 million payday (probably because they feel they can’t get any better from here).

Joe Flacco, you truly are a jagoff.  You may get your pay day, but there’s no ounce of respect for you in my eyes, and I hope anyone else who has the sense to see you for who you really are.  You were so desperate to win, to get that elite status, to quiet your critics – that you openly contemplated cheating.

Don’t worry, Joe. It’s only confetti. It won’t really hurt you. Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

What did Super Bowl XLVII teach us on Sunday night?  If you said that Flacco is finally an elite quarterback, you would be Ray Lewis stab you in the chest dead wrong.  If you said that Ray Lewis and the Ravens are favored by Himself Almighty, you need either stoned or cleaved in two.  No no, my venomous friends of Steeler Nation, if there’s anything that the Super Bowl (and the Ravens playoff run) taught us is that defense is the path to beating the Ravens.  And, with the Ravens sitting two seasons in a row at the top of the AFC North, that should be priority #1 for the Steelers on the ol’ ‘How Do We Improve?’ checklist.

Let’s get one thing straight.  Flacco is NOT an elite quarterback.  ‘But, Craig, you’re a Steelers fan and you hate the Ravens.  Of course you are going to say that!’  First part of that statement is true.  The second is not – when I write for this blog, I call a spade when I see one, and I give credit where it is due.  Joe Flacco earning ‘elite’ status from this Super Bowl win or playoff run is seriously incorrect.  As Kimmy pointed out in her Monday morning rant, Flacco should be slipping some extra cash to his offensive line and receivers for bailing him out four straight games.  Flacco was as good as he was because of his offensive line and speedy receivers that burned their coverage numerous times a game.

Which brings me to the first point – Pass Rush.  Over the course of four playoff games, the offensive line gave up only eight sacks.  The majority of those were a result of huge pocket collapses in which Flacco had no time to react.  If there’s something we can all take away from the Flacco era of this Steelers/Ravens rivalry is that Joe Flacco breaks when the heat is on.  If he even feels pressure, he usually tries to break out of the pocket (and into the arms of a pass rusher) or throws an inaccurate ball.  The problem with the four playoff games is that pressure came infrequently, and Joey usually had plenty of time to let Torrey Smith or Jacoby Jones get wide open.  The more Flacco gets protected, the more comfortable he becomes.  Such is the case with most decent QB’s.  The reason why he’s been able to hit receivers on those occasions where he escapes the pocket is because Torrey Smith, Anquan Boldin, and Jacoby Jones played lights out football in finding open areas and making star corners look like a bunch of high school level chumps.  Did you see how Flacco would just chuck the ball into the air?

This is as close as Woodley got to most QB’s all season. Credit: Jason Bridge-USA TODAY Sports

The Steelers pass rush was pretty bad this season.  No player racked up over ten sacks.  In fact, the highest was six by both Timmons and Harrison.  And LaMarr Woodley?  Four.  $61 million for four sacks.  Awesomesauce.  The pass rush needs to severely improve next season.  All the linebackers need to find ways to get around the edge or find seams in the middle.  The defensive line plays a huge role in this by needing to take up two offensive linemen.  Whatever line combo offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell dreamed up during the playoffs worked like a dream and probably won’t go away next season.  For the Steelers to hope that they can stand tall with the Ravens next season and beyond they will need to make sure that they can get pressure early and often on Flacco.  Otherwise, the receivers will carve up the secondary all game long.  The same holds true for just about every game the Steelers play in 2013.  Get that pass rush on, or you’ll find yourself 8-8 for another season.

The second point is turnovers (and capitalizing off them).  The Ravens were pretty efficient in the turnover ratio during the playoffs, and most importantly they capitalized off of them just as efficiently.  The Ravens had a turnover ratio of 10 to 4 for a +6 in the playoffs.  They scored two TD’s off of those turnovers against the 49′ers on Sunday to help pave their way to the Lombardi trophy.  Defense does indeed win championships, especially when that defense can create turnovers.  The Ravens were 7-2 when they had the turnover edge in the regular season and 4-0 in the playoffs.  Did I mention that defense wins championships?  Timely turnovers are momentum changers, and that is a huge part of the game – fighting for it and fighting even harder to keep it.

We’ve gotten so used to these. The Steelers must find ways to create turnovers against the Ravens and other strong offensive teams in 2013.

The turnover or ‘splash play’ was about as elusive as sacks were for the Steelers D in 2012.  The Steelers only had 13 turnovers after Week 15.  They somehow found a way to grab seven more in the final two games against the Bengals and Browns (no surprises there), which inflated that number a bit.  20 turnovers.  The regular season ratio was 20 to 30 (and that’s including that eight turnover debacle against Cleveland) for a difference of -10.  The ‘splash play’ was fairly non existent for the Steelers.  Every time we all found ourselves saying ‘Man the Steelers could really use a pick right here’ or ‘A fumble deep in the zone would be huge’ the opposing offense would either deny us our wish or ram the football straight down our throats, through our butts, and into the endzone.  Someone hand me some Preparation H – the H stands for ‘HELP!’

Remember when the Steelers used to get splash plays by the handfulls against the Ravens?  The tide has shifted in this department, and the Steelers have been finding themselves on the wrong end of that stick for the last four games against the Ratbirds.  The last four games, the Steelers have been crushed in the turnover department 3-15.  Even in the Charlie Batch win of Game 2 of the series the Steelers found themselves turning the ball over one time more than the Ravens.  I think the days of Polamalu coming up with an unbelievable QB strip fumble or interception or chase down fumble are just about over.  I think we’ve become a little too accustomed to that kind of defense.  But there are ways the defense can improve its turnover ratio and needs to if they want to find themselves contenders in the division.

Pass rush and turnovers go hand in hand.  One affects the other, and are critical to the style of defense Dick LeBeau draws up every week.  Last season, fans harped all off season long that the draft needed to focus on the defense.  And, now this season, most are hoping for a boost in offense.  I couldn’t disagree more, and the Steelers front office should be keeping the first two to three picks focused on the defensive side of the ball.  I have confidence that the offense will find its groove now that they have a season under their belt with Todd Haley.  The talent is actually there.  However, the defense continues to age sans grace, and there are many positions and players that need addressed – for this upcoming season and to pave a way back to the Super Bowl.

Ray Lewis looking up to heaven following the Ravens 34-31 victory over the 49ers in Super Bowl XLVII, or the ceiling of the Super Dome. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned in the Super Bowl XLVII Weekend:

• Jerome Bettis snubbed from HOF for another year
• Adrian Peterson wins the Orange Peanut…MVP
• Ray Lewis talks murders before Super Bowl
• Lights go out in Super Bowl for everyone and then just for the 49ers

To all those Steeler fans that thought it would be better to root for the Ratbirds so that the 49ers wouldn’t tie the Steelers for the most Super Bowl wins, how’s that working out this morning?  Not as satisfying as you thought it would be maybe?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  The worst possible scenario for a Steelers fan has come true, the Ravens are the Super Bowl Champions and Joe Flacco is the MVP.  Ew.  Grab your big gulp of haterade and take some cheap shots with me.

Another Super Bowl weekend has passed and yet again the NFL’s 6^th all-time leading rusher has not been voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Jerome was snubbed yet again in favor of a HOF class that included Warren Friggin Sapp as a first ballot HOF’er.  Nice connections with the NFL Network huh Sapp?  How on Earth Sapp is a first ballot HOF’er and not even Michael Strahan is I have no idea, but I can guess that Sapp is probably already having his bust appraised to be pawned to cover his debts.  The 2013 Pro Football Hall of Fame class is as follows: Warren Sapp, Cris Carter, Jonathan Ogden, Larry Allen, and Bill Parcells.  The two senior selections were Curley Culp and Dave Robinson.

The NFL Honors awards show has gone the way of any typical awards show now for some reason.  It was held Saturday night and has finally settled the debate over the MVP for the league.  Adrian Peterson took home the award along with the award for Offensive Player of the Year.  Whoever was in charge of this shindig really dropped the ball by not presenting Peterson with an orange peanut for either of those awards.  That would have been comic gold.  Peyton Manning took home the NFL Comeback Player award and naturally the NFL Play of the Year was the Ravens converting the 4^th and 29 against San Diego.  So officially nothing has gone the way of Pittsburgh this sports year.  Some things have been self-inflicted and the rest just seems like we’re being punished for something doesn’t it?

The coverage of Ray Lewis and his last ride has been disgustingly constant like a bad case of diarrhea and the crescendo naturally was the Super Bowl.  Ray Lewis sat down with Shannon Sharpe for an interview prior to the Super Bowl on Sunday and for some reason decided to address the families of the murdered young men from that fateful night in Atlanta in 2000.  In what can be gathered from his otherwise mindless blubbering about God and his will, Lewis actually took the opportunity to inform the murder victim’s families that “God makes no mistakes.”  Seriously, he actually said that.  Also adding to the at the very least, insensitive comments Lewis said in response to how he would address the families who still hold him responsible for the slayings,

“If you knew, if you really knew the way God works, he don’t use people who commits anything like that for his glory.  No way.  It’s the total opposite.”

That makes sense.  Ray Lewis couldn’t have played a part in those murders because he’s now so Godly and God wouldn’t have let that happen if he was a murderer.  So that’s that I guess.  What an awful piece of vile trash to say something like that.  And that’s not the only Godly nonsense Lewis spewed during Super Bowl Sunday.  Naturally Lewis was for the most part invisible during the game because he rarely plays a part in any actual football plays anymore, but it still credited for half a million tackles in the playoffs.  Lewis is also taking credit for Jacoby Jones’ 108 kickoff return touchdown to start the second half.  Lewis said that he was told (by God presumably) to place his hands on Jones’ chest before the play and what followed was not by the skill of Jones or the missed tackles on the 49ers special teams, but the divine intervention brought on by Ray Lewis.  Awesome.

Thankfully for the 49ers, following that miraculous kickoff return touchdown the lights inexplicably went off in the Super Dome for a total 34 minutes.  The Ravens were holding onto a 22 point lead at the time and looked to be in total charge of the game.  In the first half Joe Flacco threw 3 touchdowns like it was nothing and Colin Kaepernick was off in his throws and running.  After the power was restored, the 49ers exploded on offense and defense scoring 17 unanswered points and forcing a Ray Rice fumble.  Unfortunately for the 49ers the refs’ purple was sticking out from under their jerseys the entire game.  I’m not saying the game was fixed, but it’s worth pointing out that of the total 7 penalties that were called in the entire game, 5 of them went against San Francisco.  The Ravens seem to be the only team that gets the benefit of defensive pass interference calls these days, which seems to cause their “just let Joe chuck it up in the air” offensive scheme to work so greatly.  Must to every Steeler fans dismay, Joe Flacco was named Super Bowl MVP and will now be paid an embarrassingly large amount of money this offseason by Baltimore to continue his “eliteness” for them for years to come.  If Flacco knows what’s good for him he’d be awful nice to his offensive line and wide receivers once he gets his big money because without them playing out of their minds and catching anything and everything almost in their reach, Flacco and the Ravens don’t get passed Indy in the first round.

Well, there you have it Steeler Nation, the 2012-13 NFL season is a wrap.  Stay tuned to Nice Pick Cowher all offseason long to fulfill all of your Steeler needs with undeniably thorough draft coverage by Dom, breaking news by Craig, offseason storylines by Lori, and smart ass remarks by yours truly.  Here We Go Steelers!

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