The Pittsburgh Steelers travel out to the Show Me State this weekend to take a gander at the new look Kansas City Chiefs.  Unfortunately for long-suffering Chiefs fans, what they’ll see is more of the same losing football they’ve seen for more than a decade.  KC is a text book example of how not to run a franchise.  Unless you’re trying to run it into the ground.  The Chiefs have won exactly four of their past thirty four games and that trend doesn’t look like it’s about to reverse itself anytime soon.

Let’s start as we always do with the offensive side of the ball.  Their best weapon was TE Tony Gonzalez.  He was traded during the offseason because he wanted to play for a winner.  Then there is Larry Johnson.  Johnson put up incredible numbers for the Chiefs (on an incredible amount of carries) in two consecutive seasons.  He also displayed an O.J. Simpson-esque touch with the ladies as he was arrested on four separate occasions, all of them involving violence against women.  KC rewarded this misogynist with a 6 year $45 million contract.  Only after insulting his head coach on Twitter was he finally released a couple weeks back, eventually finding a new home with every criminal’s favorite hideout, the Bengals.

Although those players are gone, there are still plenty of mistakes on the team.  Following a season when he played exactly one month of decent football, the Chiefs traded for Patriots backup Matt Cassel.  Before taking a single snap, they rewarded Cassel with a 6 year $63 million deal.  Geniuses.  Of course, the only remotely decent WR he has to throw to is Dwayne Bowe. But Bowe will not play this Sunday because he’s sitting out a four game suspension for steroid use.  Todd Haley coached a high-powered Cardinals offense all the way to the Super Bowl last season but he’d have to be Miracle Max to improve on the 18 points per game average the team had last year.

For the Steelers, it appears to be all systems go on the offensive side of the ball.  Bruce Arians allegedly plans to rein in his Flying Circus in favor of a more balanced attack. I’ll believe that when I see it.  Still, a heavy dose of Rashard Mendenhall would be exactly what this team needs to get back on a winning track.  Especially since KC is ranked down near the bottom of the league in rush defense.

Which brings us to yet more bad news for the Chiefs.  Only 0-16 Detroit gave up more yardage last year as KC set a new record for futility by recording a total of only 10 sacks.  This year they’ve switched over to a 3-4 and used their first two draft picks on stud defensive prospects, Tyson Jackson and Alex Magee. They also took on more Patriots garbage by taking ancient LB (and former Steeler) Mike Vrabel in the Cassel trade and signing the equally ancient Zach Thomas away from the Cowboys. With no pass rush, the secondary got picked on last year and yet it’s probably the strength of this unit.

For the Steelers, there are injuries aplenty to worry about.  Troy Polamalu remains “questionable” but is definitely not playing Sunday.  Look, if we can’t beat the Chiefs without Troy, just forfeit the rest of the season because we’re done.  In other injury news, Travis Kirschke‘s sprained calf is now torn because Mike Tomlin is a filthy liar.  He did try some individual drills this week but evidently he’s still a few weeks away.  Shockingly, I’m okay with his absence because his backup (or the backup to the backup if you’re keeping score), Nick Eason, has done a fairly solid job.  Last year, the Steelers D sacked Cassel seven times as they dazed and confused him all afternoon. While he’s now a year more experienced, I still expect James Harrison and company to be after him like a school of sharks tasting blood in the water.

Although they say “Any Given Sunday” for a very legitimate reason, this weekend should be little more than a tune-up.  I expect a professional, tidy effort from the Steelers in taking care of business like good teams do when they play the dregs of the NFL.  Get in, get your win, and get out without anybody getting hurt.  Next week we have the first of two games against the Ratbirds which may very well decide our season.  No time like the present to start playing winning football.

It’s 1979 all over again.

On Friday night, the Pittsburgh Penguins won a heart-stopping Game 7 victory over the Detroit Red Wings to earn the prestigious Stanley Cup.

The route taken by the young Pens was somewhat reminiscent of the march the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers made to a championship. Both teams suffered through disappointing regular seasons. Both had to put together spectacular late season runs to even make the playoffs (In the Pens case, they won 18 of their final 26 games). They then had to battle the best their conference had to offer to even make the finals. And in the end, they both had to survive a close hard-fought finale.

This victory isn’t only special for the Pens and their legion of fans, a certain whistle-cranking ex-yinzer down in Carolina not included. This victory also marks the first time in professional sports history that one city has won the Lombardi Trophy and Lord Stanley’s Cup in the same year. This harkens back to 1979 when Pittsburgh double dipped with the Steelers and Pirates both winning titles in their respective sports.

I was five when that happened so my memories are hazy at best. I’ve heard the stories and remember the moniker but never thought I would see a double championship by my teams again. The odds against it are just too great. Then again, I live in Pittsburgh, the greatest sports city on earth, so maybe I should’ve had faith.

In my lifetime our teams have won 6 Super Bowls, 3 Stanley Cups, 2 World Series, had a #1 ranked NCAA Basketball team, and earned 1 National College Football Championship. Think about poor pitiful cities like Cleveland, who never win anything, or Philadelphia, whose four combined teams win one title approximately every 30 years. I’m almost tempted to feel sorry for them but then I realize they chose to live in those hellholes so they get what they deserve.

And speaking of deserving, does any team deserve this title more than the Pens? For Sidney Crosby it’s a culmination of a life’s dream. For Evgeni Malkin it’s a reward for a guy who literally had to run away from home in order to play in the NHL. And it’s sweet justice for Mario Lemieux, who saved hockey in this town not once, not twice, but THREE times.  First by coming here as an 18-year-old superstar, then by buying the team when it was mired in bankruptcy, and just recently when backwater cities like Kansas City and Hamilton tried to poach our team.  A heartfelt thanks goes out to them and the rest of the team that provided such excitement in the time between glorious Steeler seasons.

Let it be said, Pittsburgh is once again the City of Champions.

Happy New Year!

Now that we’ve kissed 2008 goodbye, let’s take a look at what we have coming up in 2009. The proverbial Infinite Monkeys who dream up the NFL schedules have seen fit to release next year’s slate of victims for your Pittsburgh Steelers. Take a look:

Home: Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, Tennessee Titans, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings

Away: Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions

A few thoughts leap to mind. First, I think we have a legit shot at going 16-0. I realize teams can improve or degrade one year to the next but on paper that’s a really easy schedule. Plus, let’s be realistic. Detroit, Kansas City, and Oakland need far more help than one good draft can provide. Speaking of the Lions, anybody want to bet that game ends up being their annual Thanksgiving showcase? Hopefully this time we won’t take them to overtime or if we do the ref knows how to run a coin toss.

I’m turning over a new leaf.

After stewing over Sunday’s embarrassing loss to the Indianapolis Colts, I’ve decided to stop dwelling on the negative. There’s no point in rehashing the past. What’s done is done and we must march onward toward the future.

I think I’ve watched one too many Mike Tomlin press conferences.

Anyway, instead of criticizing what’s gone horribly wrong with the Pittsburgh Steelers, I’m going to try and help them. From now on, this blog will be solutions oriented. Obviously, Tomlin and Offensive Coordinator Bruce Arians need all the help they can get. I may have never coached one down of football at any level but I kick all kinds of ass when it comes to designing plays on Madden ’09 so I feel qualified to offer my advice. Arians probably blows at video games.

With that in mind, I’ve devised four easy-to-implement solutions which can’t help but drastically improve our offensive play.

1 – Establish Identity

The Steelers have been a running team going all the way back to the Dynasty teams of the 70’s. Ball control, grind-it-out offenses which throw the ball only as a complement to the ground game. There was a brief period when Jerome Bettis was hurt and our backups stunk where we became a high-powered run-and-gun offense under Tommy Maddox but that didn’t last long. And it wasn’t too successful either.

Over half way through this season and does anybody know what kind of offense we are?

We currently rank 24^th in rushing offense. Think about that. We’re currently behind the Kansas City Chiefs and Seattle Seahawks if both total yards and average/game.  Clearly we’re not a running team.

Maybe we’re a passing team. Hmmm… Well what do you know? We’re ranked a stunning 24^th in that category, too. Right behind the high-powered attacks of the Detroit Lions and San Francisco 49ers. Guess we’re not much of a passing team either.

I’m sure some people will point to our injury situation this year. Those people are idiots. Every team has injuries and unless you’re ineptly coached or poorly managed, you should be able to work through them. Sometimes that means finding new players. Sometimes that means finding new strategies.  Blaming poor play on injuries is just the ultimate in excuse making for homers in denial.

The Patriots were a high-powered aerial attack under Tom Brady. He was lost for the season, then they lost not only their starting running back but his backup as well. Guess what? They’re 7^th in rushing offense this season using an undrafted free agent who was 4^th on their depth chart at the start of the year. Yet they’re winning using a primarily running based offense because that’s what works best with their current personnel.

Mewelde Moore is a more than capable back. Gary Russell has looked decent when given a chance. Our line doesn’t always excel at run blocking but that’s the kind of thing which tends to improve with repetition. There is no reason we shouldn’t be able to go back to old fashioned Steeler football. For that to happen, however, a commitment has to be made to the run. That means no more of this one carry and then two passes crap. You have to keep feeding the backs even if the first few carries don’t net many yards.

2 – Throw It Away

Ben Roethlisberger is a magician. He has escaped sure doom to make a big play more often than any QB not named Flutie. However, he has to be smarter when it comes to time and place.

The Steelers only had 2 sacks on Peyton Manning last week. One reason is when he felt the heat bearing down on him, he’d throw the ball away. Does anybody remember the last time they’ve seen Big Ben do this? I honestly can’t.

He tries to save EVERY play. That’s either extremely confident or stupidly cocky. In any case, it’s hurting the team more than helping. When it’s the first half and you’re facing a 2^nd and 10, there is no harm in throwing the ball away so you may live to fight another play. How many times this season has Ben faced this situation and while twisting and turning like Urkel on the dance floor, he ends up taking a seven yard sack? If he learned to throw the ball away, we’d have a lot more 3^rd and 6’s instead of 3^rd and 14’s.

Obviously, if the team is down by 10 in the 4^th quarter, sure you try to make something happen. If it’s 3^rd down at midfield, sure you try to make something happen. But if you’re nursing a 3 point lead deep in your territory, that is not the time to take chances. Be smart.

3 – Start The QB Who Can Make All The Throws

The Tiffin Thunderbolt Nate Washington caught a bomb to break the game open against the Bengals. He caught another one to break it open against the Redskins. Last week? Nada. Know why?

The answer can be found in the Post-Gazette’s Notebook item on Ben:

The quarterback threw with limited effectiveness in drills and had ice applied to his right shoulder before leaving the practice field.

He didn’t hit Nate deep because he couldn’t throw deep. Why the hell would you start a QB if you know he can’t make all the throws? That’s ridiculous. If they want a guy who can’t get the ball more than 20 yards down the field under center, they should’ve signed Chad Pennington instead of Byron Leftwich.

Determine exactly what Ben’s injury situation will allow him to do. If he can play up to his normal level or reasonably close, start him. If he can’t, he sits. Simple as that.

4 – Simplify Schemes

Let’s be honest, athletes are not the brightest bulbs on the tree. One of the reasons given for Ben’s tremendous season last year was the fact Arians supposedly simplified a lot of the playbook he inherited from Ken Whisenhunt.

The terminology might be easier to remember but the schemes appear to be more complex than ever. There’s always an occasional miscommunication between receiver and QB. We all know it when it happens but only a douche like Neil O’Donnell throws their teammate under the bus publicly.

This year, however, there seems to be a degree of confusion which extends beyond the occasional. I often see two receivers running oddly similar routes. Other times I see them making complicated dekes, bobs, and curls which would make Sidney Crosby jealous. And there have been a lot of times where throws have gone to one spot while the wide out has gone to another.

Our line takes a lot of heat and they are definitely weak. But anybody who knows the basics of football knows a QB only has an average of 3-4 seconds to drop back and let the ball go.  Provided you can count that high, time them yourself the next time you see them play and you’ll realize except for on all-out blitzes, the line usually provides that much time.

They have given Ben a chance to step up and throw the ball on a fairly consistent basis.  The problem has been the 3 seconds of time they allot the QB hasn’t been enough to allow the complicated routes to develop. By the time the WR is in position and Ben has spotted them, he’s got a guy in his face.

The reason the offense tends to look much better in No Huddle situations is because that’s when you’re dealing with a very simple and limited set of plays. They are just basic formations and routes and everything is quick hits. That’s what we need to see more of, not just in Two Minute Drills, but in any passing situation.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to draw up a few tricky Wildcat type plays for the sadly unused Dennis Dixon.

The Houston Texans got off to a surprising 2-0 start last year, looking solid with the addition of Matt Schaub at quarterback, Andre Johnson tearing up the league, and surprising newcomer Jacoby Jones making exciting play after exciting play. Defensively they still had problems, but rookie DL Amobi Okoye was better than they could’ve hoped and DeMeco Ryans was on his way to proving himself as possibly the best middle linebacker in the game. Unfortunately, the Texans couldn’t take it to the next level because like so many teams trying to get to the playoffs for the first time, they lacked any real depth if the starters went down, which this being the rough-and-tumble NFL, they inevitably did. Schaub, Johnson, Jones, and Ryans all missed time with injuries and the Texans sputtered to an 8-8 finish. Make no mistake, this is a team that has improved markedly under Coach Gary Kubiak but they will need more consistency, more depth, and a lot of luck if they harbor any hopes of finally competing with Indianapolis and Jacksonville for the AFC South.

STEELERS OFFENSE VS. TEXANS DEFENSE

The Texans are a 4-3 team that generally plays a lot of Cover 2 zone. They’ve made strides in developing the most important part of a Cover 2 scheme, the defensive line, but there’s still a ways to go.

The good news is that they appear to have two quality pass rushers on the D-line in Okoye and 2007 1^st overall pick Mario Williams. Williams actually got better and better as last season progressed and he will be one of the keys to the team’s success (or failure) this year. They are not afraid to move Williams around given his size and athleticism and if he can finally put together an entire season where he shows people why he went so high in the draft, the Texans defense would take a giant step toward respectability.

Unfortunately, Okoye and Williams are out on an island as they got nothing from anybody else last season. Neither Travis Johnson nor Anthony Weaver recorded a sack last year. Johnson got lost in old friend Dom Capers‘ 3-4 scheme coming into the NFL and has never recovered. He is also the infamous player who got a lot of heat for taunting an obviously hurt Trent Green last season. To me, Green was the real prick on the play, taking one of the worst cheap shots you can in an NFL game but because he got hurt and he’s a QB, the NFL wrote it off.

CB Dunta Robinson makes plays and is good enough to lock down on quality receivers but was injured in camp and not expected to play.  Jacques Reeves was known as “the most thrown at cornerback in the NFL” last season. Much like being the girl with her phone number written in the men’s bathroom stall or the odd geek in Harry Potter glasses who stands behind a Ficus at parties, that’s not a particularly good rep to have.

The Steelers, a running team now and forever, have been steadily moving toward a more wide-open style offense as QB Ben Roethlisberger matures. My gut feeling is Houston has the talent to clamp down on the running game, at least in the early going but will struggle mightily if Ben is given a lifetime to throw the bal.  Considering the play of the Steelers O-line this preseason, I don’t think they’ll have to worry about that.  It is going to fall to the Dynamic Duo of WRs Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes to get open , catch the ball, and establish a lead. Holmes in particular should be primed for a big game as he should be matched against Reeves who loves to give 5-8 yard cushions to speedy receivers.

STEELERS DEFENSE VS. TEXANS OFFENSE

The Texans run the exact same type of offense as the Broncos run with Gary Kubiak being a longtime Bronco player and then offensive coordinator. You’ll see a lot of slants and short routes, but this is a West Coast offense that goes deep more often than you expect.

Matt Schaub will lead the attack as long as he’s healthy. Schaub is a big guy but has one of the weaker arms in the league, although as long as Chad Pennington is around tossing his knuckleballs he’ll stay off the bottom of the list. However, he can make enough of the throws and is very accurate. Plus, unlike former starter David Carr, he knows when to get rid of the ball and doesn’t piss his pants in fear when a pass rush is coming at him.

With a Broncos type of offense, you’re likely to see multiple tailbacks platooning. They have an interesting mix with Ahman Green for speed, Chris Brown for power, and  rookie Steve Slaton to do a little of everything. The only problem with their Poo Poo Platter Backfield is both Brown and Green are historically injury prone while Slaton carries on the fine tradition by recently missing time because his big toe is ouchie.  Both veterans have also had a problem with fumbles throughout their career which makes me wonder why they didn’t draft Rashard Mendenhall to complete the trifecta.

The strength of the offense, and probably of the team, is a solid to possibly explosive wide receiving corp. Jacoby Jones was dynamite in preseason, but got hurt early on and couldn’t do much. Andre Johnson has always been a nightmare for defensive backs because of his size (230 pounds) and speed (4.3 speed). However, he got hurt last year as well and may not be fully recovered. Andre Davis came in and had a great season given the situation. He would be in line to replace Johnson if Johnson can’t go. Owen Daniels is one of those decent receiving tight ends in a West Coast offense.

The wideouts also contribute to an excellent special teams unit. Davis was 2nd in the league in kickoff returns last season, with a tremendous 30.3 yards a return. Jacoby Jones did alright at 9.5 yards a punt return, but he was banged up all year long. He’s really more explosive than his numbers suggest. If Mike Tomlin hasn’t figured out how to shore up the atrocious special teams play that hurt the Steelers all last year, this game will definitely expose them.

The offensive line had its best season in the team’s history which isn’t saying much when previous years saw some of the absolute worst O-line play in NFL history. Still, like the Steelers, they’re a much better run blocking unit than pass blocking. In fact, last season they would often run on third and 5 (and succeed) rather than risk a pass. A key for the Steelers will be to get ahead and force Houston into a one-dimensional passing offense. Then defensive coordinator Dick Lebeau can turn the dogs loose on poor hapless Schaub. It’s a risk, though, because if for some reason they can’t get to the QB, the Texans receivers are a definite threat against pretty much any secondary in the league.

The game will be won in the trenches, both offensively and defensively. Whichever lines can assert their manhood more forcibly will take control of this game and eventually emerge with a win. I know with the Steelers absolutely brutal 2008 schedule it’s very easy to look past this game and on to bigger and better things but that would be a huge mistake. The Texans are not the pushovers they were in seasons past and anything less than a total concentrated effort and we’ll all be crying in our Irons on Monday morning.

Remember Bowling Green. This is the professional equivalent of that collossal failure. Let’s hope the Steelers were paying attention to that game as closely as all the suckers Pitt fans were.