Ten extra minutes to place your bets ladies and gentlemen.

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• NFL pushes back start times for afternoon games; degenerate gamblers everywhere rejoice
• Vilma files new lawsuit trying to stay on the field this season
• Goodell getting closer to bringing the NFL back to LA
• NFL bringing Wi-Fi into stadiums, relaxing on blackout rules to get butts in the seats

We’ve finally made it to the final stretch ladies and gentlemen of Steeler Nation.  Just a few short weeks are standing between now and the opening of Training Camp, and there will be NFL preseason games played next month.  In the mean time, the NFL news keeps churning out and this week is no different. (more…)

Big Ben is intrigued.....are you?

In the middle of May, finding news-worthy NFL stories is a tough racket to work.  The Steelers first OTA session – the only real Steelers news right now – has been covered extensively here on NPC and frankly, with so little information being let loose from the South Side there isn’t much to write about.  Luckily, our favorite black and gold warriors do have a few intriguing situations brewing and that got me thinking outside the traditional “Pittsburgh Box”.  Now that we are essentially through the period of free agent movement, trades, and the NFL Draft, we know which team and player situations will be the most closely monitored as the march to Training Camp and the preseason begins.  We may see a minor move here or there, possibly a trade (the Seahawks/Buccaneers deal earlier this week is an example), and the continuing saga unfolding in New Orleans may yield some news still.

Every NFL season starts out with the eyes of the football world focused on the intriguing stories that mold the new year.  I have compiled a list of the Top Ten Intriguing Stories for 2012, a snapshot of the stories you will be hearing over and over again in the coming months.  Yes, Tebow is here.  So is Mike Wallace.  However, there are some other stories that you may have let slip your mind.  Right now summer is approaching and the focus is on baseball, school letting out for the summer, and what non-traditional meat can be thrown on the grill for tonight’s dinner.  What we want to delve into here are the stories NFL fans will be pining over once the pencils and books are back in the Trapper Keepers and we are trying to decide which stereotypical Halloween character we will be shoveling our loose leaves into to get them off of our dying lawn (Pumpkins and Frankensteins ruled the neighborhood last fall).  Grab a cold one and prepare to be intrigued.

Colts QB Andrew Luck during the teams OTA session this week; photo courtesy AP

10.  The re-birth of the Indianapolis Colts – The Colts were a big mean blue machine from 1999-2010, racking up 11 playoff appearances and a Super Bowl championship.  Indianapolis transformed themselves from an also-ran franchise that had trouble selling tickets and rarely found any sort of relevancy into a powerhouse behind the arm of one Peyton Manning.  They crafted the entire franchise around Manning, bringing in receivers and blockers and mostly being satisfied with bludgeoning their opponents to death with high-scoring offense.  The Colts became a weekly visitor to prime time slots and packed fans into the RCA Dome week after week.  They were the glory days of Indianapolis Colts football, a franchise that finally was able to shake the stench of the Mayflower Moving Trucks and late night walk of shame that followed them from Baltimore in 1983.  Fast forward to 2011, the Colts lose Payton Manning to a severe neck injury and the wheels fall off.  The team decides the time has come to move on and lets former Pro Bowl players such as TE Dallas Clark and C Jeff Saturday walk away.  Bill and Chris Polian, both architects of the Colts decade of dominance, were fired.  Shortly thereafter, “The Catfish” swam out of town – head coach Jim Caldwell was shown his walking papers.  RB Joesph Addai, WR Pierre Garcon, and LB Gary Brackett were allowed to leave or were cut.  Veteran tackle Ryan Diem decided he wanted no part of this circus and retired.  When the team takes the field in 2012, it will do so with only three members of their starting 2011 offense.  Outside of video games, teams don’t purge their organizations in this manner.

So now the fresh start with QB Andrew Luck, a slew of rookies, and several mid-level free agent signings.  New head coach Chuck Pagano has never been the man in charge, and he will do so for the first time with a brand new offense and defense behind two new coordinators.  This is a total restart of a franchise the likes we have NEVER seen.  The Colts are fixing to be a bad team in 2012, but it will be intriguing to see how bad….will they mature quickly behind Luck and make a run at 8-8, or will they mirror the 3-13 they were in Peyton Mannings first campaign?  Fans may only get to see a situation like this once or twice, a franchise that basically goes the “expansion team” route.  It should be a very interesting train wreck.

C Maurkice Pouncey will be expected to lead the new Steelers offensive line from day one.

9.  The Pittsburgh Steelers Offensive Line – The Steelers have now invested four top draft picks (#1 in 2010, #2 in 2011, #1 and #2 in 2012) on offensive linemen to revamp a unit that has been the source of so much grief over the past few years.  The team is making a real commitment to protecting Iron Man QB Ben Roethlisberger and the big guy couldn’t be happier.  Now comes the hard part – molding these outstanding players into an outstanding UNIT.  New offensive Coordinator Todd Haley and Offensive Line coach Sean Kugler will be spending their summer in the film room and on the practice field, learning the strengths and weaknesses of their new players.  Former starting tackle Willie Colon moves to guard, and the team has yet to recall their wounded veteran Max Starks, another Big Ben friend who may find himself wearing a different hat in 2012.  This is a brand new day in the Steel City, and how the line comes together will make or break a year of transition for the Steelers.

8.  The Tebow/Sanchez/Ryan NYC love triangle – After leading the Denver Broncos to their stunning OT upset of the Steelers in last January’s Wild Card playoff game, Tim Tebow seemed destined to become the next franchise QB for the Broncos.  Then Peyton Manning became available and John Elway decided to pay a kings ransom to bring the future hall of fame QB into the fold.  Tebow became expendable, and for some odd reason the New York Jets became his destination.  Just after giving a three-year contract extension to incumbent QB Mark Sanchez, the Jets traded for Tebow and created a controversial situation that could blow up in the face of head coach Rex Ryan.  Sanchez, who many unfairly blamed for the down season the Jets experienced in 2011, is now on the hot seat in the hottest oven in professional sports.  With Tebow in the fold, Sanchez will be looking over his shoulder from day one, and any mistake – an interception, an overthrow, anything – will immediately cue up the “Tebow” cries by the Jets faithful and create a hostile playing environment for the emotionally scarred Sanchez.  Rex Ryan is surely not the coach to handle such a touchy scenario, as his media boasting and bigger-than-life personality can only add fuel to the fire.  How the Jets handle this Tebow/Sanchez quagmire should be one of the most talked about and followed stories of 2012.

7.  Mike Wallace turns Diva – The Steelers top WR experienced his first taste of NFL free agency this offseason, and he wasn’t crazy about the flavor.  After expecting to be flooded with #1 wide receiver contract offers from teams that matched deals obtained by Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson, Wallace quickly learned that his profile is not quite at the level he thought it was.  He is now at the mercy of the Steelers and must either sign his tender offer or sit out 2012, since a long-term deal doesn’t appear to be in the offing.  With the emergence of WR Antonio Brown and the expectation that WR Emmanuel Sanders can reach the same level, Wallace could be the odd man out in the Steel City once its all said and done.  His ability to be a professional, sign the tender, and get to camp on time will be a major story this summer.  If he fails to do so, his time with the Steelers is over.  Tough ending to a Steelers career that seemed to be limitless at one point.

Artist rendering of the new NFL stadium in downtown Los Angeles

6.  The L.A. Equation – As I wrote about earlier this month, Los Angeles is beginning to make their push towards convincing an NFL team to relocate to the new stadium that is breaking ground in the downtown area.  Obviously, the NFL history of L.A. is one of teams moving AWAY, but the second-largest TV market in the Country is ready to re-establish themselves as an NFL city.  The Minnesota Vikings have secure funding for a new stadium, so they are out of the mix.  The Oakland Raiders and St. Louis Rams (both formerly tenants of L.A.) are still being considered as teams that may move, as are the San Diego Chargers.  Expect this to become a major story as the season wears on and chances are the NFL will be allowing a team to announce a move to Los Angeles sometime before kickoff of Super Bowl XLVII on February 3, 2013. 

Jeff Fisher has a major project on his hands in St. Louis

5.  Head Coach Jeff Fisher returns to the NFL, tries to dig the Rams out of a deep hole -The St. Louis Rams seemed to be on the right track heading into 2011.  After competing for the NFC West title down to Week 17 in 2010, it seemed that head coach Steve Spagnuolo had the team on the verge of becoming relevant for the first time since the “Greatest Show on Turf” was wowing the league.  All of that potential went down the crapper in 2011, as the Rams were hit by a string of injuries and finished 2-14.  The failure caused the firing of Spagnuolo and his entire coaching staff, and began the hunt for a new head coach.  The Rams went all out, coaxing former Titans coach Jeff Fisher out of a semi-retirement to become the eighth head coach in the team’s St. Louis history.

Now the work begins on revitalizing a downtrodden franchise that seems to have one foot out the door in St. Louis.  If the team does not respond to their new coach and has another horrific season, it could push them right up the ladder on the list of teams that could move to Los Angeles.  Bad attendance has been a plague for the Rams, who have a hard time filling the gigantic Edward Jones Dome most weeks.  The organization is counting on Fisher to breathe life back into the team and the fanbase.  The Rams had a good draft, bringing in DT Michael Brockers, WR Brian Quick, CB Janoris Jenkins, RB Isiah Pead, and CB Trumaine Johnson – all who could win starting jobs in 2012.  They also went out and signed several mid-level free agents and allowed some dead weight to move on, giving the entire roster a fresh feel.  The biggest factor will be the health of franchise QB Sam Bradford, who has proven that when healthy he can be a solid NFL signal caller.    This is a make it-or-break-it season for the St. Louis Rams.

Miami Dolphins 1st round pick QB Ryan Tannehill

4.  The Miami Dolphins, Seattle Seahawks, Cleveland Browns, and Tennessee Titans QB controversies -Let’s take a quick inventory here.  The Miami Dolphins have incumbent QB Matt Moore on the roster, then draft QB Ryan Tannehill in the first round, then sign veteran QB David Garrard to a contract.  The Seattle Seahawks have incumbent QB Tarvaris Jackson on the roster, then sign free agent prize QB Matt Flynn to a huge multi-year deal, then draft QB Russell Wilson in the 2012 NFL Draft.  The Cleveland Browns have QB Colt McCoy, long shoved down the Dawg Pound’s throats as the QB of the future.  They draft 28-year old rookie Brandon Weeden in the first round of the draft.  The Tennessee Titans have incumbent QB Matt Hasslebeck and young, promising QB Jake Locker nipping at his heels to take the job.

All four of these teams were non-playoff teams in 2011 and are trying to turn the corner.  With so many QB controversies sprouting up this early, it should make for an interesting summer and preseason for all four clubs.  Never have we had so many teams with no idea who their starting QB would be heading into a season, and at this point nothing would surprise fans of these teams, who always seem to make things harder than they have to be.  The Seattle situation is becoming even more intriguing, with highly-paid new QB Matt Flynn sharing reps with the first team with both Wilson and Jackson in team OTA’s this past week.  Flynn was the QB prize of the free agent pool, and was signed with the intention that he would be “the man” for Pete Carroll and the Seahawks.  In Tennessee, Jake Locker is primed to take over as the starting QB, but will have a fight ahead of him in camp.  Intrigue in Seattle, Miami, Cleveland, and Tennessee abounds.

WR Randy Moss is back, this time with the 49ers.

3.  WR Randy Moss returns to the NFL after a one-year vacation -After not playing in 2011, Randy Moss is back in 2012.  The one-time considered best WR in football, Moss signed a one-year deal to become a key part of a San Fransisco offense looking for new weapons for QB Alex Smith.  Can Moss rebound from a disappointing 2010 that saw him wear three different jerseys and a 2011 that saw him completely out of the game?  The 49ers are banking on Moss to be the #1 target for Smith, and will need him to produce the way he did from 2007-2009 with New England if they intend on making another deep playoff run.  Moss is a guy that can either show up and be great or show up and cause a team to implode on itself.  Furthermore, he is one of the most recognizable players of the past decade and the media will be following his every move on this comeback.

Mario Williams signed a six-year deal with Buffalo, one of the biggest surprises of the offseason.

2. The Detroit Lions try to build on their success, the Buffalo Bills try to spend their way to success – The Detroit Lions were the darlings of the NFL in 2011, making the playoffs just three years removed from an 0-16 season.  The Lions have explosive talent all over the field, including QB Matthew Stafford and WR Calvin Johnson.  Can the Lions continue to ascend to the elite level of their NFC brethren in Green Bay and New York?  Or will they take a step back, buried by preseason expectations that have them competing to make their first Super Bowl?  In Buffalo, the Bills started out 2011 as the hottest team in football before a terrible streak of losses ended any playoff hopes.  The Bills went out and made the biggest offseason splash in signing DE Mario Williams away from the Houston Texans for a record six-year $100 million deal.  The Bills also spent money on DE Mark Anderson and resigned WR Stevie Johnson to a five-year extension.  After not making the playoffs since 1999, will the spending spree propel the Bills to the playoffs? 

1.  BountyGate rips the hearts out of the New Orleans Saints – The biggest scandal in the NFL in years hit New Orleans hard.  BountyGate cost the Saints their head coach for the entire 2012 season, as Sean Payton will be replaced by Joe Vitt – once he returns from his six-game suspension.  The Saints also lost Pro Bowl LB Jonathan Vilma for all of 2012, DE Will Smith for four games, and were docked a bunch of draft picks over the next few years.  Furthermore, the team has a situation with QB savior Drew Brees, who is unhappy about being named the franchise player and not being granted a long-term deal.  This is an organization is tatters after NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell dropped the hammer on them.  The entire league will be watching to see if the Saints are able to continue their remarkable run of playoff appearances and give their team a chance to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium (The SuperDome hosts the big game this year).  After so many feel-good stories out of the Big Easy since the horrible events of Hurricane Katrina, the Saints are now fully in the eye of another storm.  If the results end up being a 5-11 season or even simply missing the playoffs, this could mark a significant change in the overall New Orleans Saints organization, with front office staff, coaches, and players being changed out to get the stench of “BountyGate” off of the team.

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Farmers Field, the new football stadium in Downtown Los Angeles, from an artists rendering; courtesy ms-ent.net

With the news officially announced this past week that Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton has signed a bill that will authorize a partly bond-financed plan for a $975 million football stadium in the Twin Cities, it appears that the Minnesota Vikings are now off the table as a player in the Los Angeles NFL saga.  The Vikings seemed to be the franchise most-likely to move to SoCal as their lease with the aging Metrodome was coming to an end, another tradition-soaked victim of the modern era of sports economics doomed to move away from a region that helped build their legacy.  Now that the bill has been passed, the Vikings are set to begin a new chapter in Minnesota that will take them through a final season or two at the Metrodome, then a short stint at the University of Minnesota’s TCF Bank Stadium, before finally moving to their new digs.  The Vikings have been dealing with the antiquated Metrodome for years, a building that has seemed to age in dog years.  A new stadium was key to keep the team in town, and if the deal hadn’t come together it was only a matter of time before the Los Angeles billionaires started throwing diamond and furs at team owner Zygi Wilf.

Los Angeles is the second-largest metropolitan area in the United States, and by far the largest without an NFL team.  The region is preparing to break ground on the $1.2 billion Farmers Field, a gigantic stadium that is tailor-made for attracting a professional football team.  As the plans for building Farmers Field have developed, owner Anschutz Entertainment Group has been quietly courting potential teams to make the move to Los Angeles.  The Vikings were very much on that list up until this week.  Who are the other possible teams that could legally make the move to the new stadium in Downtown Los Angeles – which could be ready as early as the start of the 2015 season and has plenty of temporary plans to house the new franchise until then?

courtesy chargers.com

.1  The San Diego Chargers – The Bolts were a charter member of the old AFL, and spent one season in Los Angeles before settling in permanently in San Diego.  The Chargers play in Qualcomm Stadium, known to most long-time sports fans as Jack Murphy Stadium.   As far as NFL facilities go, the “Q” is pretty close to the bottom of the list.  Old, run down, and only ascetically pleasing due to its location in the most beautiful city in the Country, Qualcomm Stadium is nearing the end of its usability for the league.  The team has had trouble selling tickets the past few seasons, despite a run of quality teams with numerous Pro Bowl players.  The Spanos Family, majority owners of the franchise, know the riches that await them just two hours down Interstate 5.  A move to L.A. would be a major step up for the team, and although they would lose some of their dedicated fanbase – for the most part if the people of San Diego still wanted to follow the Chargers, it wouldn’t be hard.  San Diego has gradually moved into the neighborhood of a decent sports town.  The Chargers have had some very good teams during their time there, and the baseball Padres are now playing in a brand new ballpark (PetCo Park) and trying to rebuild their club in the tough small-market climate.  Traditionally, San Diego has been more of a vacation spot than a hard-nosed sports town.  Moving the Chargers to L.A. would be one of the easiest transitions for an NFL team to make (not the easiest, that distinction falls to the Oakland Raiders, who we will get to shortly), and the move would not be considered a black mark on the legacy of the NFL.  The Chargers have to be considered the top option for moving to Los Angeles.

Oakland Raiders fans; courtesy prweb.com

2.  The Oakland Raiders – The Raiders spent 1982-1994 as the Los Angeles Raiders.  After a very successful 21-year run in Oakland, owner Al Davis spearheaded the move to L.A. with the idea that the Raiders would be more financially stable playing in the larger city, despite moving to the already outdated L.A. Memorial Coliseum.  The Los Angeles area had two NFL teams at that point, with the Raiders and the Rams playing their games down the road in Anaheim.  The Raiders won Super Bowl XVIII while representing the City of Angels, claiming their third Lombardi trophy.  In 1995 it was back to Oakland, as Al Davis signed a letter of intent to move his team back to the Bay Area once more, where they have remained ever since.  The team has had its share of glory years, but for the most part have been also-rans since returning to Oakland.  Furthermore, the stadium situation in Oakland is horrendous.  The Oakland Coliseum (or whatever it is called now) is a dump.  The Raiders are the last NFL team to share their stadium with a MLB team, and are unable to generate the type of ad revenue in Oakland that an NFL team should.  With their history in the Los Angeles market and the fan base the has maintained allegiance to the Raiders, this is a perfect scenario for the team to finally put their long nomad past behind them and become the sole proprietors of football in Los Angeles.  The Bay Area has the San Fransisco 49ers as the #1 team in the region, and moving the Raiders to L.A. would only help to further the fortunes of that franchise.  The Raiders should be considered the #2 option for moving to L.A., with only a very team-friendly stadium lease keeping them from being the top dog.

St. Louis Rams fans,; courtesy prlog.com

3.  The St. Louis Rams – Another former L.A. tenant, the Rams moved to St. Louis in 1995 and within four years were competing in a Super Bowl and seemed to be on pace to build quite a legacy in the Midwest.  Their fortunes went south after that, and attendance has become a serious issue for the team in the immense Edward Jones Dome.  The year to watch in 2015, the year the Rams lease with the dome expires.  If the team does not have a legitimate stadium plan in place by 2013, the relocation bounds will be barking loudly in St. Louis.  The team seems to be heading in the right direction on the field, with new head coach Jeff Fisher crafting a young, talented team.  It could be a perfect storm for the NFL to move an up-and-coming team with many marketable pieces into the second-largest city in the country.  Keep an eye on the Rams and their stadium situation in St. Louis, if they are unable to secure a new stadium chances are good the Rams are going to be out of Missouri and heading somewhere – L.A. Toronto, maybe even London – and obviously Los Angeles would top that list.

4.  The Jacksonville Jaguars – The Jaguars were on every list of potential teams heading to L.A. up until this past year, when the ownership team led by Shahid Khan purchased the franchise.  Now the Jaguars appear to be setting down permanent roots in Florida.  Jacksonville was a heavy gamble for expansion by the NFL in the mid 90′s and for a while it appeared that the gamble would pay off.  Then the lean years came and the fans stopped buying tickets, causing the team to have most of its home games blacked out in the Jacksonville area.  The team tarped off a huge section of seats at EverBank Field to avoid those blackouts and have a lease that binds them to the stadium – a fine NFL facility – until 2027.  With new ownership committed to the Northern Florida area and the lease in place, the Jaguars can be officially taken off the list of potential Los Angeles suitors.

Buffalo Bills fan; courtesy sportsillustrated.cnn.com

5.  The Buffalo Bills – Oh, the poor Bills.  Rabid fans, great football area, storied history, and absolutely no respect for any of it by the league.  Playing home games in Toronto wasn’t bad enough, having their franchise named as a possibility to move across country to Los Angeles is a sick, twisted, way to treat a fan base that has supported their team despite terrible coaching and player management decisions over the years.  For me – a Steelers fan – I believe football is a game that should be played outdoors in cold weather.  The more snow, the more wind, the better.  Buffalo is a fine NFL city, and a unique small town that loves its Bills, not quite as small as Green Bay – but frankly, very similar in many ways.  The Bills were a founding member of the AFL, they have played in four Super Bowls, they have many Hall of Famers that played their careers in Buffalo, and they sell out their stadium.  Ralph Wilson Stadium is old and needs updated, something that the people of Buffalo will have to deal with soon if they want their team taken off this list.  Owner Ralph Wilson is 92-years old and when he passes, the last connection to that city and that stadium will be gone.  The city and its fans need to work out a lucrative stadium deal to keep the Bills in Upstate New York, where they belong.  Until then, the unfortunate reality is that the Buffalo Bills will be courted to move to L.A..  Here is hoping the franchise gets it all sorted out and remains where they belong, just like the Vikings did in Minnesota.

Is Las Vegas, NV ready for an NFL expansion team?

6.  An Expansion Team – The probability of another NFL expansion seems dim under the leadership of Roger Goodell.  Any expansion plan would need to include two new teams to keep the league balanced.  So where would the second team land?  Is Las Vegas ready for a professional sports team?  Has the financial success of the Toronto Raptors and Blue Jays proven that American professional sports work in the gigantic Toronto Metropolitan area?  Would the league consider setting up shop in another large Florida market like Orlando – a city with a major powerhouse company in its back pocket (Disney)?  How about San Antonio, TX?  At one point it seemed the New Orleans Saints could have been permanent residents there and a team in San Antonio would further the league advances into the Mexican-American community.  How about a SECOND team in Chicago, a city that has two distinct towns (north side and south side) and already supports two major league baseball teams with a similar setup?  Could the Windy City sustain a second NFL team?  Finally, what about another college football crazed town – Omaha, Nebraska or Columbus, Ohio.  Do either have the population to support a team in their city?

Expansion would be the safest and quickest way to get a team into Los Angeles, and with no limit on the amount of investors that would line up to finance a team, it is a very real possibility.

One way or another, the National Football League is going to get a franchise in Los Angeles by 2015.  Whether it be by moving ans established team or expansion, the wheels are already in motion and the league is not going to turn away from the economic boom a team could provide for them in the Los Angeles region.  If put together correctly, a team in L.A. could immediately become one of the most valuable professional sports teams in the country.  It will be interesting to see where this goes from here.

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Be sure to get the best Steelers coverage year-round here at Nice Pick, Cowher

I hate the Browns.

Being born and raised in Pittsburgh, the mere mention of the name “Cleveland” has made my blood boil for as long as I can remember. I hate Cleveland. My father hates Cleveland. My three uncles, two aunts, four cousins, and sweet grey-haired grandmother all hate Cleveland, too.

The damn thing is, I don’t know why.

Don’t yell at me and don’t threaten to revoke my membership to Steeler Nation. Just hear me out. All our lives we’ve been conditioned to hate Cleveland. We’ve been told they’re the mortal enemy. We’ve been told the Browns and the Steelers are one of the great rivalries in all of sports.

Well, let’s look at some other great rivalries. Red Sox-Yankees. Lakers-Celtics. Ohio State-Michigan. Maple Leafs-Canadiens. Hmmm… You know what they all have in common? The rivalry usually involves two equally prestigious franchises who are competing for a championship. The Yankees prevented the Sox from reaching the Series and prolonged the Curse until recent years when the tables have turned. OSU and Michigan often stood in each other’s way of a #1 ranking. The Lakers and Celtics met in the NBA finals five times. Toronto and Montreal dominated the NHL for over a decade, trading Lord Stanley’s Cup between themselves.

What championship has Cleveland ever cost Pittsburgh? When have the lowly Browns ever stood in the way of our mighty Steelers? How are they even remotely considered to be on the same level? I can’t remember one crucial game between the two teams which was won by the Browns. Oh, they gave it a shot a few years ago in a Wild Card playoff game but the rifle-arm heroics of QB Tommy Maddox prevented any disruption in the natural order of things.

I once read that the Pittsburgh Pirates are desperate to get the Cleveland Indians declared their “natural rival” so they can be sure to play them every season. I don’t understand this at all. I mean, I understand there are only so many cheap bobbleheads and 80’s hair bands they can bring to PNC Park to entice people to go and watch what is laughingly called a major league baseball team but why would even the most diehard yinzer fall for this? What is there to hate about the Indians? They’ve admittedly fared better than the Pirates in recent years but that’s like challenging a group of retarded kids to a chess match and then bragging when you beat them. And it’s not like the Indians have really accomplished much of anything recently. Their last World Series win was back in 1948 and they haven’t made it to October since 1954. At least the Buccos can say they won titles in 1960, 1971, and 1979.

Cleveland doesn’t have an NHL franchise and we don’t have an NBA team so we’ll call that a push. Except their Cleveland Cavaliers have been around since 1970 and won a grand total of ZERO titles while our Penguins have won twice. Technically, the score in professional basketball championships is actually Pittsburgh – 1 Cleveland – 0 as the Pittsburgh Pipers won the ABA (American Basketball Association) championship way back in 1967 and might have won it again in 1969 had they signed sharpshooting free agent point guard Jackie Moon.

The more I think about it, the less sense this whole “rivalry” with Cleveland makes. The Steelers won 5 Super Bowls and made the playoffs 12 of the last 15 years. The Browns are among only a handful of NFL teams to never appear in a Super Bowl and didn’t even have a team 12 of the last 15 years. Their franchise was moved to Baltimore, a city known as one of the most crime and drug-infested in the entire country. How bad is your city when that seems like an attractive alternative? We’ve had a line of great quarterbacks from Terry Bradshaw to Kordell Stewart to Ben Roethlisberger. They’ve had Bernie Kosar, Vinny Testaverde, and Charlie Frye. We had the Emperor Chuck Knoll. They had Bill Belichick and his entire A/V Club of Doom and still couldn’t win anything. We have the Terrible Towel and the most loyal fanbase in the entire NFL. They have a bunch of drunken buffoons in latex German Shepard masks. About the only thing we have in common is neither team has cheerleaders. For the Steelers, it’s a statement that our fans don’t need anybody enticing them to cheer. For the Browns, it’s due to the simple fact you can’t find 12 attractive women in Cleveland.

You may read this article and think I’m being overly harsh on Cleveland. You may even think some of these shots are of the cheap variety. However, that is honestly not my intent. I’m not trying to bash the people of Cleveland. Lord knows living there is enough of a cross to bear. No, the purpose of this post is to actually put the rivalry to rest. Sure, it will still be fun to play (and beat) them twice a year but let’s not do it with hatred in our hearts.  We should save that for those who really deserve it.