You gotta hand it to Bill Belichick.   Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the MILF-chasing, sneaky videotaping (thankfully, those hobbies don’t overlap) stone face.  But you have to appreciate his ability to spin straw into gold.  This is actually a rebuilding year for the New England Patriots as they attempt to inject fresh talent in to a team which has only a few remnants remaining from the glory teams of the past decade.   And, yet, they don’t seem to miss a beat, winning the AFC East last season and posting a 6-2 record thus far in 2010.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. PATRIOTS OFFENSE

Coming off knee surgery, Tom Brady took a while to get back into the swing of things last season but rebounded to post one of his usual fantastic stat lines.   This year, not even his ridiculous Bieber-hair has interfered with his ability to get the ball where it needs to go.  A 14/4 TD-INT ratio puts to rest any worries that Tom Terrific is slowing down.   One concern, however, is a sprained foot which kept him out of practice this week.   Not that Brady has ever been mistaken for a Slash but the ability to slide around the pocket to buy the extra second or two may be something to look for when he faces the Pittsburgh Steelers hellacious pass rush.

WR Wes Welker, coming off a serious knee injury, remains one of the best slot receivers in the league.  Although without Randy Moss stretching the field and keeping the defense from clogging the middle, Welker’s numbers have declined sharply (36, 24, and 25 yards in the past three games).  Part of the slack is expected to be picked up by the returning Deon Branch and second year player Brandon Tate.  Although the Pats best receiving threats have been rookie TEs Aaron Hernandez and Woodland Hills alum Rob Gronkowski.

Shockingly, the Patriots actually rank higher in rushing offense (15th) than passing (17th).  The running back position is a motley crew of misfits.  Oft-injured Laurence Maroney has been shipped out of town in favor of a two-headed monster consisting of Benjarvis Green-Ellis and little Danny Woodhead.   If you watched HBO’s fantastic Hard Knocks this year, you’ll remember Woody as a Rex Ryan favorite.  The 5’8 195 runt has become a New England cult hero because he embodies all the qualities Massholes hold dear (ie:  He’s white).

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick takes a page from his own book and comes out throwing the ball 35 consecutive times like he did in a memorable Monday Night game many years back.  The Browns held them under 70 rushing yards last week while the Steelers remain the top ranked rushing D.  On the flip side, our pass defense continues to slide down the standings on a weekly basis.  Gay covering Welkah or B-Mac giving one of his patented 8 yard cushions to Branch is the stuff nightmares are made of.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. PATRIOTS DEFENSE

Remember all that nice stuff I said about Billy boy in my introduction?  Well, despite my puke-inducing praise, one fact remains.  The current Patriots defense is garbage.  GARBAGE.

They’re 29th in total yards allowed, 29th in passing yards per game, and 21st in rushing yards per game.  We should’ve seen this coming after the Ravens absolutely humiliated them 33-14 in last year’s playoffs.   But the point was more than driven home last week when Browns RB Peyton Hillis gashed them for 184 yards while Colt McCoy directed a steady attack without throwing a single interception.  Belichick is reloading the defense but it’s very much still a work in progress.

The fly in the Steelers’ ointment is half the team is in desperate need of Tiger Balm.  The offense was decimated by injuries last week.   Heath Miller is battling a gimpy knee.   Mewelde Moore and Issac Redman were both concussed last week but have been cleared by team doctors.  Of course, one bell-ringing hit and Jon Dwyer is a step closer to toting the rock.

Naturally the biggest concern is an offensive line which has been left in shambles.  Max Starks has a herniated disk in his neck which requires season ending surgery.  The Steelers haven’t said exactly what their plan is for Sunday night but I have to think they’ll either move Flozell Adams back to his original LT position or insert Jonathan Scott who started there for Sean Kugler’s Buffalo Bills.  Personally, I’d leave the Hotel on the right side because they’ve been generating great push in the running game.

But wait, there’s more!  Chris Kemoeatu has a double whammy knee/ankle sprain which in his own words is “not good.”  Meanwhile, Maurkice Pouncey is battling a bruised tibia.  Mike Tomlin was hoping both would be good to go but it sounds like only Pouncey is expected to play.  If the line can hold it together with scotch tape and Bubble Yum, Ben Roethlisberger and the offense should have plenty of opportunities against a fairly porous defense.

One final note, I don’t usually mention special teams since I like talking about real football players.  However, Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski has a bum hip and is done for the year.  They’ve brought in former Bungle Shayne Graham to handle FG duties in his absence.

The Steelers were 6-2 at the mid-way point last year and we were saying, “Who cares how you win or how many injuries you have?   We’re 6-2!”   Then we fell into an epic swoon where we lost five straight games against some of the most pathetic teams in the NFL.  I hate to put too much emphasis on one particular game but I feel this is the tipping point for the entire season.  Win this game and I’ll feel a whole lot better about our chances going forward.  Lose or even have another 4th quarter like the one against the Bengals and the alarm bells will continue to grow louder.

Revenge is a dish best served cold or, sometimes, wet. Playing in a steady downpour, the Pittsburgh Steelers crushed the New England Patriots 33-10 in their most dominating win of the season. The almost biblical rainstorm drenching the field was oddly symbolic as if the heavens above were trying to wash the rotten stink of Bill Belichick from the landscape of the NFL.

Make no mistake, this was the Steelers finest performance of the year. The Massholes, as is their modus operandi, will come up with 101 reasons why this game shouldn’t count but considering most of them weren’t aware they had a team until 2001, ignore their excuse-making. Why just last week those same dimwits were throwing their franchise QB overboard while anointing Matt Cassel the Chosen One. If that doesn’t show you the amount of ignorance we’re dealing with, Cassel’s sloppy and inept play should. Whatever terribly run franchise, I’m guessing the Detroit Lions, that empties the bank to sign this guy is going to be really disappointed when they discover their shiny new sports car is a lemon.

Cassel was coming off two 400 yard passing performances which led to the ridiculous level of hysteria surrounding his play. That those performances came against mediocre Miami and Jets (watch as everybody jumps off that bandwagon this week) defenses seemed to escape the no-nothing talking heads who are, you know, paid to analyze football. Granted, the Steeler defense isn’t your typical defense. It’s an unrelenting machine. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Where to begin with the beautiful violence displayed on Sunday afternoon. Defenders stormed in on Cassel from all angles, finishing the game with 5 sacks. James Harrison cemented his place as the BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN FOOTBALL adding 2 more sacks to his league leading total, both of which caused fumbles. LaMarr Woodley chipped in with one of his own while Casey Hampton, moments after being flagged for a ridiculous holding call, showed why you do not piss off the Fat Man by promptly squashing Cassel on the next play. Troy Polamalu was all over the field, dropping back and blitzing, culminating in a nice tip-INT to ice the game. Lawrence Timmons, who should be starting at this point, made a sweet pick out in coverage.

Words can’t describe how dominate this defensive performance was. The only score the feeble Patriot offense could manage was when they started at the Steelers 14 after a Ben Roethlisberger interception. They had 5 total yards in the 3^rd Quarter. They didn’t convert a third down until late in the 4^th. They had 122 rushing yards, about double the 66 which Pittsburgh had been allowing, but that’s misleading. For some reason, the Steelers went to a weird Cover-2/prevent type D late in the first half and the Pats used draws to rip off 55 yards on two runs. Ike Taylor continued to establish a reputation as an elite Shut Down Corner by limiting WR Randy Moss to 45 measly yards.

Of course, the most memorable play occurred in the third quarter when S Ryan Clark, who missed last year’s game, made sure the Patriots knew he was there by attempting to behead WR Wes Welker. The hit was like something out of “The Longest Yard” but without benefit of a highly trained stuntman. Clark was flagged for a personal foul despite the fact Santonio Holmes was lit up on almost an identical (unpenalized) play last week as the NFL continues their march toward turning into Flag Football. Clark will undoubtedly receive a fine from Fuhrer Goodell because, well, the NFL hates the Steelers. Members of Steeler Nation should start a fund for Ryan as I don’t know about you but that hit was totally worth something to me.

On the flip side, the Steeler offense actually showed a spark of life today. I’ve been monitoring the poll I have going on and I’m sad that so many people swallow what the media feeds them without examining the evidence. The offensive line is not a great unit by any means but they are far from the main culprit behind our woes. Big Ben was sacked only once against a pretty decent group of pass rushers while the running game piled up 161 yards which shows you they are a capable if unspectacular unit.  Injuries to the backfield, Ben holding on to the ball way too long, and our idiot Offensive Coordinator dialing up 30 yard pass plays in the face of jailbreak blitzes are a much bigger problem than any shortcomings along the line.

Case in point this game. Notice how the Steelers have began utilizing the bunch formation (when all the receivers are packed about 5 yards off the line) in order to facilitate a short, quick-hitting passing game. Notice how the TEs like Heath Miller, who led the team with 4 catches for 60 yards, have become a bigger part of the offense. Notice the commitment to the run as the Steelers have settled into a three pronged running attack with Mewelde Moore featured in the 1^st half, Willie Parker (showing good speed but questionable cutting) in the 2^nd half, and Gary Russell in short yardage situations. All these things combine for an offense which controls the clock, keeps downs and distances manageable, and keeps the defense off balance enough to prevent them from pinning their ears back on the pass rush.

Again, the Massholes will no doubt whine that Moss dropped a potential TD pass along with several other key throws during the course of the game. I counter by noting the Steelers left several TDs on the grass themselves. Santonio is playing like a man who doesn’t want to be here much longer as he dropped not one but two potential TDs and his loafing on a play almost led to an INT. If rookie Limas Sweed can blossom into a solid #3, he could be squeezed out with the rise of Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington, who has emerged this season and can be counted on for at least one or two big catches per game, although he did drop what would’ve been a back breaking bomb late in the game.

The Bungles bent over and grabbed their ankles for those pesky Baltimore Ravens so the Steelers maintain their slim one game lead in the division. The Purple Birds have the Washington Redskins next week at home which is a tough one to predict because on one hand the Skins are fighting for a playoff spot but on the other hand they haven’t played very well in recent weeks. Meanwhile, our old buddies the Dallas Cowboys come into town also fighting for a playoff spot. In any case, it’s looking more and more like the week 15 showdown in Charm City is going to be the tipping point for the entire year. If the Steelers can continue to play at the level they displayed this week, nothing short of a Silverback launching long snaps can stop them.

After last Saturday’s debacle in Minnesota, where the Pittsburgh Steelers vaunted offense couldn’t manage a touchdown, the new look offensive line played downright offensive, and supposed superstar rookie RB Rashard Mendenhall couldn’t keep his hands on the ball, I suppose for our collective sanity we should move on to happier subjects.

With that in mind, NPC continues its 2008 Steeler team preview by focusing on the one aspect of the team that did look pretty good last Saturday, the defense. 

2008 BLITZBURGH DEFENSE

The Steelers still use the 3-4, although everybody keeps waiting for them to go to the Tampa 2 scheme coach Mike Tomlin allegedly prefers.   That won’t happen as long as grizzled defensive genius Dick Lebeau patrols the sidelines though.  Keeping Lebeau during the changover from the Cowher regime was a really smart move by the Steeler brass as I don’t believe there is a more clever blitz-caller in the league. 

Projected Starters:

RDE: Brett Keisel
NG: Casey Hampton
LDE: Aaron Smith
ROLB: James Harrison
ILB: James Farrior
ILB: Larry Foote
LOLB: Lamar Woodley
CB: Deshea Townsend
CB: Ike Taylor
SS: Troy Polamalu
FS: Ryan Clark

The D-Line is aging but still good as Casey Hampton is one of the best DT/NG’s in the game when his fatassery doesn’t land him in the dog house.  Aaron Smith is entering his prime as a run stopper and pass rusher. James Harrison is an incredibly athletic pass rusher coming off his breakout season. Both Larry Foote and the newly resigned (5 year deal) James Farrior are also getting up there in age but remain quality ILBs.  Farrior is the veteran QB of the defense and Foote, while unspectacular, will likely be platooned with 2007 first round pick Lawrence Timmons sooner rather than later.  Everybody liked what they saw out of Lamar Woodley last season and this year everybody expects him to be a more than adequate replacement for Clark Haggans.

The corners are decent but nothing exciting.  Townshend and Taylor recently flip-flopped the right and left CB spots for reasons I’m not entirely clear on.   Those two plus Bryant McFadden comprise an excellent cover secondary but they fall short when it comes to ball skills.  Slippery Hands Ike allegedly concentrated on his receiving skills this offseason so maybe he’ll be able to snag one or two of the enemy’s passes instead of simply swatting them away. 

Troy Polamalu is a superior safety when he’s healthy.  But that’s the big question mark with him as last season he was a shell due to injuries and he’s been seemingly plagued by a rash of problems this year as well.  A peak Polamalu would take the defense to another level.  Ryan Clark seems to have battled back from his season-ending spleenectomy.  Tyrone Carter has looked okay as his backup.  And I’ll say it, Anthony Smith is actually a very talented guy.  If you watch him closely, his size and speed make him stand out.   It’s just that despite his million dollar body, he was only given a ten cent brain.  If he could somehow find the wonderful Wizard of Oz to hand him even an average portion of intelligence, he could easily be a starter and a very good one at that.

Also for your perusal:

–The NFL Network has decided to follow my lead by doing a Steeler preview of their own.

–Hugging Harold Reynolds pokes fun at Steeler fans with this obviously photoshopped picture.  Bud Light?  Members of Steeler Nation aren’t sissies who drink light beer.  Somebody obviously confused us with Patriot fans.  Even our women drink and drink hard.   That’s why we have no need for cheerleaders.  They’re all the entertainment we need.