Heath Miller is having a Probowl year for the Steelers. Mandatory Credit: Jason Bridge-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned in Week 8 in the NFL:

• San Diego out Browns the Browns
• The Patriots should play every game in London
• Jets get housed by Dolphins at home
• Cowboys have genius play calling
• Cam Newton is still pouting
• Steelers bumble bee uniforms sting RG3

Am I right or am I right about Steeler Nation being a happier place to be after a win?  The Steelers put together their best overall performance of the season on Sunday afternoon but we’ll get into that a little later.  We got cheap shots to take.  First up; my favorite overrated quarterback, Philip Rivers.  San Diego, which of course is German for “a whale’s vagina” played as such in Cleveland.  The Chargers failed to reach the endzone the entire game thanks to some bad drops, bad punts, and the super inefficiency of Rivers.  The Browns scored one touchdown on a Trent Richardson run and that proved to be the only points they needed to get passed Norv Turner’s Chargers.  Why does that guy still have a head coaching job again? (more…)

Colts fans cheer on the team and their coach. Mandatory Credit: Brian Spurlock-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned in Week #5 in the NFL:

• BA gets his first win as interim Head Coach
• Chiefs players and media attack fans for booing Matt Cassel injury
• Drew Brees breaks Johnny Unitas’ passing td record
• Steelers win in final seconds but lose more starters to injury (more…)

Rashard, Reed, and Redemption.

The Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the San Diego Chargers once again Sunday night by a final score of 38-28. The thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home had to be absolutely tickled pink at the effort put forth by the Black and Gold. And I’m not just referring to the armbands, shoes, and special edition Terrible Towels worn yesterday in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Despite a brutal fourth quarter which turned a blowout into a nail-biter, this was by far the team’s best showing this season.

Let’s start with Rashard Mendenhall. Steeler Nation has been tough on Rashard, I’ve been tough on Rashard, Mike Tomlin has been tough on Rashard. Two nice plays against Chicago had been the grand total of his meaningful output as a pro. Not anymore. Mendenhall rumbled for 165 yards on 29 carries and two TDs. He doesn’t have the darting elusive style of Willie Parker but he’s more in the mold of Barry Foster (for you older fans), an explosive power runner. He showed a quick burst getting through holes and then got loose on several long gains by breaking through would-be tacklers. I particularly loved his physical play, lowering his shoulder when being tackled and absolutely PANCAKING blitzing linebackers on passing plays.

We also have to give it up for the oft-criticized offensive line. They opened up huge holes for the running game and provided plenty of time for Ben Roethlisberger (23/33 for 333 yards) to throw the ball. In fact, the 3 sacks they gave up wouldn’t have happened if Ben threw the ball in a timely fashion. I hope everybody noticed how when the line takes a holding penalty or gives up a sack, 90% of the time it’s when Ben drops back, surveys the field, then decides to run around like a maniac instead of throwing it away. Anyhow, Chris Kemoeatu was an absolute beast out there while Max Starks, no doubt stocked up on antibiotics and hoping to impress Tila Tequila, squashed Shawne Merriman all game long.

Through the first three quarters of play, this game looked like a laugher. At halftime, the Chargers had only 7 minutes of offensive possession. By the third quarter, they only produced a little over 100 yards of total offense. Their supposedly fearsome running back duo of LaDainian Thomlinson (15 yards rushing) and Darren Sproles (16 yards receiving) were non-factors. All seemed right in the world.

After three quarters of dominance, it happened again. Toward the end of the quarter, Philip Rivers engineered a thirteen play 79 yard drive, ending with a 3 yard TD pass to Antonio Gates. The Chargers went to a no-huddle shotgun formation and the Steelers decided to blitz almost every play. I don’t know if our linebackers have lost a step or if our new CBs are slower than last year’s but once again they didn’t come close as Rivers picked them apart.

Then came the fourth quarter or as Steeler fans now know it, “The Nightmare Time.” Stefan Logan fielded a punt while surrounded by approximately 37 San Diego players which is like an ant trying to survive an avalanche. He had the ball ripped from his bosom and ran back for a touchdown. At this point, I defy you to say you didn’t feel like you just got junk-punched by James Harrison.

To their credit, the Steeler offense marched right back down the field to answer with a TD of their own.  Which should have salted the game away.  All that was left to do was play some prevent, run out the clock, get off the field, and pack up your baby oil and speedo for wrestling tomorrow.

Which would’ve been fine if the Steeler defense hadn’t decided to take the REST OF THE GAME OFF. I’m utterly shocked at how one of the best defenses in NFL history last season can struggle so much this year. The Chargers scored two quick touchdowns to cut the lead to a single score. And when I say quick, I’m talking Usain Bolt speed.  They went 67 yards on four plays. FOUR PLAYS!!! After being tricked by an on-side kick which Ryan Mundy all but dusted off and handed to the Chargers, they scored on a 54 yard drive in only 3 plays. THREE PLAYS! WHAT THE HELL!?!

The Steelers had no answer for Antonio Gates (9 catches 124 yards 2 TD). As I correctly guessed in my preview, Gates down the middle was going to be a problem because the secondary has struggled with that this season. Of course, Gates is a superstar and we’re missing Troy Polamalu but I didn’t think he’d be *that* much of a problem. Ryan Clark and Tyrone Carter handled him alright during the early part of the game. When SD went to shotgun formations, our safeties had to cover WRs, which left a LB to cover Gates. Lawrence Timmons is either way more hurt than he’s letting on or he stinks. He was beaten like a drum time and time and time again. It got so bad that toward the end of the game, Dick LeBeau had seen enough and asked Harrison to cover him. Now, Silverback was the Defensive Player of the Year but shouldn’t your scariest pass rusher, oh I don’t know, rush the quarterback?

In a blink of an eye, a 28-0 pasting turned into a 35-28 thriller. It felt like going to a Sandra Bullock movie and out of nowhere seeing Freddy Krueger disembowel some well-endowed blonde (who no doubt has mammograms on a regular basis, thanks to Breast Cancer Awareness). Luckily, the Chargers defense couldn’t stop a fly with a bazooka so the Steelers managed to drive the ball down the field while taking valuable time off the clock. Which set the stage for Redemption #2 as Skippy Reed booted what amounted to a game-winning FG from 46 yards out.

At this point in the season, I have no idea what to think about this team. This was a huge win because it kept the team confident and ensured Big Ben doesn’t get beer thrown at him on Monday Night Raw. The Patriots also did us a favor by defeating the overrated Ravens so we picked up a game in the AFC North standings. We’re not going to learn much next week when we play the Lions because, well, they’re the Lions. Although there were many many good things to take from this game, these fourth quarter collapses have gotten to be a nasty habit. A habit they need to break before it’s too late to redeem themselves.

I asked for babes in bikini tops. Instead we get crazies in Lucha masks. I love Steeler Nation.

And Steeler Nation loves their Pittsburgh Steelers, who convincingly defeated the San Diego Chargers 35-24 in yesterday’s Divisional Playoff. The game wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicates as the Steelers were in cruise control for almost an entire quarter. In fact, San Diego didn’t show much beyond their opening possession, a brilliant one-handed catch by WR Vincent Jackson who had CB Ike Taylor sticking to him tighter than a wet t-shirt on Scarlett Johansson.

Offensive Coordinator Bruce Arians was possessed by the spirit of Ron Earhardt as the Steelers’ game plan completely reverted back to classic Steeler Football instead of the pass happy pseudo-West Coast attack that had been sputtering all season. They ran the ball, you may want to sit down for this, a whopping 46 times. Fast Willie Parker looked like the FWP of old while rushing for 146 yards and 2 touchdowns. They even went back to the I Formation, which Fast Willie whined about several weeks back drawing criticism from head coach Mike Tomlin. Looks like FWP was right.

QB Ben Roethlisberger showed no ill effects from having his brains scrambled in the season finale against Cleveland. He was sharp and accurate with his passes, throwing for only 181 yards but making the plays when they needed to be made. His performance in the third quarter when he made several big third-and-long conversions was a perfect example of his steady leadership. Everybody contributed on the receiving end with Heath Miller scoring the back-breaking touchdown, Tiffin Thunder Nate Washington drawing a big pass interference penalty, and Hines Ward (who really needs to be recognized as a Big Game Player) hauling in 4 for 70, all of which were key catches to keep drives alive.

And then there’s Santonio Holmes. The Steelers return game is below average at best but Holmes picked his spot well. His punt return TD was Pittsburgh’s first score of the game and it appeared to be a very deflating blow to a San Diego team which had been quietly confident up until that point. It was only his second return TD of his career but it was the match which ignited the blast furnace.

Let’s also give some props to the much maligned offensive line. Ben wasn’t so much as coughed on yesterday. The Chargers had 1 sack but that came on a blitz where RB Mewelde Moore failed to pick up the extra pass rusher. The five big boys up front provided a perfect pocket, plenty of time to throw the ball, and gaping holes for the run game.

The third quarter of yesterday’s game was one of the most amazing things you’ll ever see as a football fan. The Chargers ran one play. That’s it. Fifteen minutes, one play. The Steelers, utilizing a ball control grind-it-out offense that we’ve been clamoring for, pounded out an 8 minute drive resulting in a TD. The Chargers got a great return out of midget Darren Sproles and looked like they got some momentum back starting at the Steelers 35. The one and only play was a ball batted skyward by Brett Keisel (who is emerging as a very good player) and picked off by both James Harrison and Larry Foote. The Steelers then ground out another drive which took them to the 4th quarter.

Speaking of the defense, what can I say? Simply the most devastating unit in the NFL. They took media darling Sproles and held the shrimp to a measly 15 yards rushing. FIFTEEN YARDS! He had 300+ last week! They sacked Philip Rivers four times, two of which were courtesy of Mister LaMarr Woodley. Silverback only had one but that was likely because they were mugging him on every play. The Chargers had 280 yards of total offense but close to 100 of that was amassed after the Steelers went up 28-10 and started playing a semi-prevent defense.

On a weekend when every home team coming off a bye lost, the Steelers took care of business on their home turf. Not only did they win, they won emphatically, showing improvement in areas they struggled with during the regular season while continuing to play well in the areas which they have always excelled. Get your bikini tops and Lucha masks ready because the AFC Championship game is coming to Pittsburgh next Sunday. The Steelers look ready, are you?

Too bad they can’t bring their cheerleaders.

The San Diego Chargers return to the sloppy tundra of Heinz Field in a rematch of a week 11 contest which ended by the improbable score of 11-10.  It actually should have been 17-10 but one of the refs got a call from his bookie wrong thus negating Troy Polamalu‘s last minute TD return of a fumbled lateral.  Let’s hope the NFL assigns a competent crew to the Divisional Playoff game this Sunday.  Last thing we need is a replay of last year’s playoff debacle against Jacksonville where the officials mysteriously missed three blatant holding penalties on the QB scramble which set up the game winning FG.

Regardless of the final score, anybody who thinks the Pittsburgh Steelers have a decided advantage because of their performance in their first meeting didn’t watch the game.  On paper, it looks like a one-sided slaughter.  QB Ben Roethlisberger threw for 308 yards, WR Hines Ward caught 11 balls for 124 yards (plus 6 for 55 by TE Matt Spaeth), and Fast Willie Parker had a rare 100 yard day.  The defense held San Diego to 218 total yards while picking off Philip Rivers twice.

However, the Steelers did not score an offensive touchdown the entire game.  How you may ask?  Penalties killed them.  They were flagged 13 times for an atrocious 115 yards. Several of these negated big plays, particularly the one which cost them a TD bomb to Nate Washington.  They also struggled badly on key short yardage conversions, getting stifled on third and shorts while also failing to punch it in on a big 4th and goal play.

Most importantly, the story of the game was the inclimate weather that day.  Playing in steady flurries on a frozen field, the San Diego defenders played well off the recievers.  They didn’t want to chance slipping and allowing them to run by for a big gain.  If the weathermen can be believed, and I don’t believe anyone not named Kudzma, the weather should be markedly better this weekend.

Without the climate advantage, this game could easily go very differently.  The Chargers showed good coverage against the pass happy Indianapolis Colts so thinking the game will follow the same script is unrealistic.  The Steelers better not fool themselves into thinking the running game will not be a huge factor.  Ignore the mantra of a good ground game always wins in the playoffs at your own peril, Bruce Arians.

Since I’ve already done a highly detailed breakdown of the two teams, I won’t bother to repeat it.  The key changes since then are both Chargers RB Ladainian Thomlinson and the Steelers’ Roethlisberger coming off injuries.   Thomlinson has his groin muscle separated from his pelvis (raise your hand if you just crossed your legs and grimaced) and probably won’t play (he may not even dress).   He’ll be replaced by a midget named Darren Sproles, a burner who Indy had no answer for.  Ben was concussed in the season finale against the hapless Browns.  He was apparently given a green light, although anybody who has been knocked loopy will tell you that the affects can last weeks or months.  If this concussion affects his decision making skills one iota, head coach Mike Tomlin’s season ending gambit will go down as one of the biggest blunders in Pittsburgh sports history.

The Chargers.  The Steelers.  Heinz Field.  The 2008 NFL Playoffs.  One team takes a step forward toward glory while the other has their season end in a hail of frustration and tears.  As the Joker said in the best movie of the year, “And…here…we…go…”