Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin‘s weekly Q&A was interrupted by Old Saint Nick yesterday.  Actually, it was a beat writer by the name of Bill Di Fabio impersonating the jolly elf in what is evidently a yearly tradition.  Like any good mall Santa, Di Fabio apparently performed his duties after imbibing a generous quantity of spiked egg nog.  Allegedly his schtick amused ex-coach Bill Cowher but watching his incredibly lame attempts at humor make me applaud Tomlin’s decree that Santa will slide down press conference chimneys no more.

Yep, you can see how seriously we’re taking this week’s 2008 season finale against the Cleveland Browns.

Another reason I’m impressed with Tomlin is he obviously learns from history.  Last year, the Steelers had a meaningless game against the Baltimore Ravens the final week of the season.  He chose to rest all his starters and play only the B team.  This strategy paid off in a one-and-done playoff exit at the hands of the blind referees Jacksonville Jaguars.  Meanwhile the New York Giants, with a similarly meaningless game and facing a long three road game march through the playoffs, played all their starters in a valiant bid to ruin the Patriots’ perfect season which the did four weeks later in the Super Bowl.

With that in mind, Tomlin has said every able-bodied player will suit up and play this Sunday.  That means Ben Roethlisberger, Willie Parker, and James Harrison will likely all see action.  The only serious injury to a starter I’m aware of is S Ryan Clark, who has a separated shoulder and probably won’t return until the playoffs.  Obviously, I expect Harrison and Parker to be rotated with Lawrence Timmons and Mewelde Moore a bit more than usual but it doesn’t look like anybody will be getting the week off.

Not that we need an all-star lineup to deal with the Brownies.  They’re dealing with their own little incident this week when backup DE Shaun Smith decked smug metrosexual QB Brady Quinn.  They allege this incident took place in the weight room but personally, I suspect it began in the showers and had something to do with a soap being dropped.  But I could be wrong.

What I am right about is the Browns will be starting their fourth QB this year, Seton-La Salle High product Bruce Gradkowski.  With both Quinn and Derek Anderson out with season-ending injuries, Ken Dorsey has proven woefully ineffective even by Cleveland standards as they’ve failed to score a touchdown for something like four games.  Cue the Pittsburgh-native cavalry, who started 11 games for Tampa Bay as a rookie back in 2006, posting a rather pitiful 3-8 record (including a whooping by the Steelers where he tossed three picks).

My cousins, Lexi and Taylor, actually met Gradkowski a couple years back when he was giving motivational speeches to local middle schools.  Knowing I love football, they thoughtfully decided to ask for his autograph for me.  While I appreciate their sentiment, I expect my personalized Bruce Gradkowski rookie card will continue to be worth slightly less than my Kevin Polcovich signed mini-bat for many years to come.

Then again, this is Christmukkah.  The season of giving.  And everybody knows the spirit of giving is far more important than the actual product being gifted.  Or at least that’s what Christmas specials tell me.  So as I sit down on Sunday and watch the miserable Browns play this miserable game which means nothing to either team, I’ll remember to be thankful for all the joy and excitement the Steelers have given me this year.

And to all my readers, even those of you who never leave comments (I know who you are), thank you for reading and best wishes for Happy Holidays and a great New Year.

Since their re-birth in 1999, the Cleveland Browns organization has struggled mightily with personnel decisions. In 2005, the Browns hired former Ravens head scout Phil Savage to become their General Manager. The Ravens were widely considered to have an excellent scouting department.  From 2005-2006, Savage concentrated on rebuilding a team in shambles.   He succeeded in adding some quality pieces but the Browns still had lousy quarterback play compounded by an offensive line that totally stunk. So the Browns came up to the podium in the 2007 draft and took offensive tackle Joe Thomas with the third overall pick stunning everybody, especially quarterback Brady Quinn and the uber-hot fag hag girlfriend who was there with him.

The Browns wound up drafting Quinn later in the first round with the 22nd overall pick but the Thomas pick was actually the turning point in the direction of the franchise. With Thomas outright dominating defenders at the left tackle spot, that allowed the team to move Kevin Shaffer to his more natural right tackle position. They also signed Eric Steinbach, who wasn’t exactly up to snuff with his run blocking, but with Thomas’ presence beside him,  nade the Browns lethal on the left side.  This superior line play enabled QB Derek Anderson to have a career season and the Browns to have an explosive offense, which was needed to compensate for a fairly mediocre defense.  They wound up going 10-6 and missing the playoffs by a tiebreaker as the Steelers won both head-to-head matchups.

Re-signing Anderson and a flurry of offseason activity  has made the Browns one of this year’s trendy picks for the Super Bowl.  Those predictions took a hit when they stumbled out of gate in week 1, losing badly to the Dallas Cowboys.   Week 2 will no doubt see a hungrier, even more motivated Browns team eager to prove to everybody that they are not overrated by handing a loss to their longtime division rival Steelers.

STEELER DEFENSE VS BROWNS OFFENSE

How much difference did the addition of Joe Thomas make to this team?  Here’s a look at Cleveland’s sack ratio allowed over the past five seasons:

2003…………40 sacks allowed
2004…………42 sacks allowed
2005…………46 sacks allowed
2006…………54 sacks allowed
2007…………19 sacks allowed

Not only was the decrease in sacks amazing from a numbers standpoint, but considering Derrick Anderson is a 6’6” tall leadfoot at quarterback, it makes the sacks allowed even more spectacular.  Beyond pass protection, the line also forced defenses to protect against their running game which got WR Braylon Edwards and TE Kellen Winslow out one-on-one against defenders and they usually win those battles.

A lot of people like Anderson and I can’t blame the Browns for re-signing him since they can always bring in Quinn if he falters or allow him to leave via free agency ala San Diego/Drew Brees when they feel the time is right.  Having two quality QBs isn’t the worst problem to have in a league that brings Vinny Testeverde out of retirement almost every season.  Anderson has a strong arm and strong leadership skills but tends to struggle with his decision making and accuracy at times.

Old nemesis Jamal Lewis was also resigned as the primary back when he picked up his production toward the end of the season to show he still had some gas left in the tank.  Lewis was extremely good in the red zone and short yardage but his days as a 30-carries-a-game chain moving tailback may have passed by.  Lawrence Vickers is an excellent blocking fullback.

Braylon Edwards is a tremendous athlete who has size and speed that puts defenders at a disadvantage. There were times where he just flat out carried the offense. You combine Edwards with Winslow and you have a deadly deep and safety valve combination. Of course, Winslow can hurt defenses deep as well. They brought in Donte Stallworth which seems like a solid move because at the very least the guy is a deep threat. He really didn’t do a whole lot in New England, but I think his presence was important there because if the Pats didn’t have a deep threat opposite Randy Moss, teams would’ve just rolled one of the safeties deep over the top instead of having both safeties deep over the top on both sides of the field. That allowed the Pats to stretch the field so deep and throw the ball all day to Wes Welker and Kevin Faulk. Stallworth’s big issues have been his inability to stay healthy and he’s got mediocre hands. Edwards isn’t much in the hands department either, which could lead to a year of a lot of dropped passes.

Pretty much every aspect of the Steelers defense clicked last week.  I wouldn’t expect a repeat performance this week, especially in terms of sacks.  The Three Amigos secondary of Bryant McFadden, Ike Taylor, and Deshea Townshend will have their hands full but do have the coverage skills to deal with the Browns’ skill players.  They’ll have to be on their game because Anderson will have time to throw.   Jamal Lewis has had some good games against the Steelers, one of the few running backs who can say that, but with our d-line playing like they are, I have a feeling the run won’t be much of a factor.  If S Troy Polamalu can have another big game that might make all the difference in this one.

STEELER OFFENSE VS BROWNS DEFENSE

The Browns  play a 2 gap 3-4 scheme. In the past they have focused on the secondary, but after struggling to sack the QB, they switched focus away from the secondary and to the front seven.  In order to do that, they let cornerback Leigh Bodden go to Detroit so they could pick up nose tackle Shaun Rogers. Bodden’s knee was in question and a motivated Rogers is a helluva player. However, he’s never played the 2 gap 3-4 scheme before and that is usually a tough transition. The same could be said for Corey Williams, although he’s a 3-4 DE, so the transition is a little less difficult.  DE Robaire Smith is a longtime 3-4 veteran.

LB Kamerion Wimbley had a really nice rookie year, but struggled a bit in 2007 as he was constantly the focus of the opposing offense. He did force 4 fumbles though. If they can get some pressure from other parts of the defense that would free him up. D’Qwell Jackson is a nice player and Andra Davis just doesn’t fit into the 3-4 scheme. Willie McGinest is in his last year and is still a savvy, smart player but may not have much left in the tank.

They really liked what they got out of CB Eric Wright last season which is why they felt comfortable to trade away Bodden, who had been an excellent find for the team.  Coupled with Gary Baxter, a physical corner who hasn’t been able to stay healthy and Sean Jones, a rising star at SS, the Browns thought their secondary would be solid this year.  That didn’t seem to be the case last week with Tony Romeo and the Starboys seemingly passing at will against them.

In summation, the Browns built a stout defense which is solid at the point of attack but isn’t going to generate a lot of pressure on the QB.  Sounds custom made for a team like the Steelers who pride themselves on playing physical in the running game but struggle when it comes to pass protection.   QB Ben Roethlisberger should have plenty of time to survey the field and find an open receiver.  Maybe this week he’ll even hold on to the ball longer then .004 seconds and look for WR Santonio Holmes deep down the field.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this game turned into a sort of a shootout with both teams marching up and down the field.  The Steelers running game might provide a crucial edge when it comes to killing time or running down the clock.  But first the team must build a lead and that is not going to be easy with an offense which can match you point-for-point.  I think the Browns will be able to move the ball if for no other reason than their tremendous line should be able to keep James Harrison and Mr. Woodley at bay for most of the game.

The fate of this game may very well be decided on special teams.   The Browns have very good special teams, led by return ace Joshua Cribbs, who almost single-handedly beat the Steelers in a crucial match-up toward the end of last year.  If last week’s excellent return coverage turns out to be just an elaborate illusion that could very well be the difference in the final score.

Rejoice!! The NFL Draft is almost upon us. Two days of hopes, dreams, triumph for some, heartbreak for others, quarterbacks waiting in anticipation with their hot girlfriends and Jet fans eager to boo whatever unfortunate sap is taken by their team.

‘Tis truly one of the most wonderful times of the year. I dare say it’s even better than Christmas. Yes, Mel Kiper is my Santa. Except this jolly old elf has perfectly-coiffed hair.

As you surf around the interwebz, you will probably come across a mock draft or two. Or four. Or three dozen. Concocting mock drafts seems to have become the second biggest time waster of choice behind only filling out as many March Madness brackets as a sports fan can get their grubby little hands on.

I will spare you such things on my site. Besides, this is a Steeler blog. I assume you come here to read about the Steelers. I also imagine you don’t much care who the Houston Texans may or may not take with their compensatory pick in the fifth round.

You care about the Steelers. So All-Steelers All-the-time is what I’ll give you. The following is a short synopsis of prospects you should keep an eye on because they are players the Steelers either have interest in or they should have interest in. If anybody has their own Players To Keep An Eye On, feel free to share your picks in the comments below.

Let’s hope somebody suffers the same fate as poor Brady Quinn. Watching him slide deeper and deeper down the draft board was high drama at its best. I would feel sorry for the kid except he’s still a multi-millionaire, his girlfriend looks like she could suck-start a lawnmower, and he plays for the Browns. Oh, and his name is Brady. I hate that name.

Brenden Albert OT Virginia – The crown jewel of the draft as far as the Steelers are concerned. Albert is a 6’6” 310 pound human bulldozer who plays either left guard or left tackle. He has the talent to start immediately and for our team, probably would. Unfortunately, he has flown up the draft boards in the last month, going from a late 1^st rounder to a possible Top 10 pick. Highly unlikely he’ll make it to #23

Jonathan Stewart RB Oregon – A 5’10” 235 pound power back. Basically, a bowling ball with arms and legs. Has some durability issues as he’s suffered a number of injuries while in college which could be a problem in the pros. Tandem backfields are en vogue in the NFL so that’s what makes him an attractive option. Still, make no mistake, taking Stewart would be a case of taking Best Athlete Available. We’re already 3 deep at running back so unless the Steelers are lying about Willie Parker’s success at rehabbing his broken leg, we have much more pressing needs than at RB.

James Hardy WR Indiana & Limas Sweed WR Texas – I grouped these two together because they both fill a similar hole: the big-ass WR that will make Ben smile and Hines cry. Sweed is 6’4” but coming off a major wrist injury that has scared some teams away. Hardy is 6’5” and basically a poor man’s Plaxico Burress. His biggest knock is his 40 times have been a bit on the slow side so some wonder if he can create enough separation at the pro level. WR is a wild card area in this draft as some people project guys like Hardy, Sweed, and Desean Jackson (a tiny quick guy we wouldn’t be interested in) to be 1^st rounders while others have them all slipping well into the 2^nd. If either of these two fall to the Steelers, I’d heartily endorse either as my preference for their first pick.

Kentwan Balmer DT North Carolina – If you read the Saga of Booger or my posts on the inexplicable signing of Nick Eason, you know the Steelers are paper thin along the defensive line. Brent Kiesel, Casey Hampton, and Aaron Smith are still top notch players but they’re also getting older and the threat of injury is always there. Balmer, a smallish but explosive rusher, projects to being a defensive end in the Steelers 3-4. He’s a gamble, though, as speed guys are usually boom or bust plus he really only started to show any flashes of superior ability during his senior season.

Aqib Talib CB Kansas – Last year, the Steelers were all set to draft Pitt CB Darrelle Revis with their first pick. They probably would’ve cut Ike Taylor, who played so poorly in 2006 that Coach Cowher benched him for several games. Then those tricky Jets swooped in, swung a trade with Carolina, and slipped ahead of us one spot in the draft so they could take Revis. Talib is another wild card as he is generally considered the best cover guy available but his 40 times have been astonishingly slow which raises all kinds of alarms with scouts. If teams go by college performance, he’ll be long gone by our pick. If they don’t, he might slip. Would the Steelers take him? Like I said, we were looking at CB last year. Also, Talib returned punts and even played a little WR at Kansas like a mini-Deon Sanders (“Not-Ready-For-Primetime?”) so he could also help us out in the return game. This would be a bold, interesting pick so I expect the Steelers not to make it if given the opportunity.

Gosder Cherilis OT Boston College – Huge 6’6” 315 monster. Doesn’t have the best form and needs coached up some. He played some left tackle as a senior and looked bad so probably would be a right tackle on the pro level. The Steelers aren’t really that hurting for right tackles (need interior lineman more) so Cherilis would be a safe but unspectacular pick. In fact, a lot of draftniks have him as a 2^nd rounder so taking him in the first might even be considered “reaching.” Probably not the worst pick they could make but not the most attractive option either.

Chilo Rachal OG USC – This is more a guy to look for in the 2^nd round if we go another direction in the 1^st. Not a spectacular college career but his measurables and potential are extremely high. Definitely seen as a future starter in the league, the only question is how soon and how capable. Will probably be gone by the Steelers second pick unless we trade up (or down) and pick up an early 2^nd rounder.

Matt Forte RB Tulane - If the Steelers are serious about going to a shared backfield, they definitely need to find a power back to compliment Fast Willie. Forte is a 6’1″ 217 short-yardage specialist. In fact, some teams think he’ll be a FB at the pro level but either way, I think the Steelers could use him. His measurables kinda sucked as he didn’t appear to be notably fast or notably strong, which is why most teams see him as a late 2^nd/3^rd rounder. But those kind of things are sometimes misleading which is why I wouldn’t mind seeing him in Black and Gold next year.

Ray Rice RB Rutgers – Yes, he had a big college career but that actually works against him with the scouts because they see him as having a lot of wear on the tires. Rice could very well fall to the Steelers late in round 2. Would they take him? The problem with Rice is he runs like a power back, very strong, very straight ahead…but at 5’8″ 199 he doesn’t have power back size. I can see him turning into a Mike Alstott-type pro although I do have to admit I’m not sure his tough running style will be able to hold up over an entire season. Still, this would be another intriguing pick.

Jeremy Zuttah OG Rutgers – Zuttah has been flying up draft boards in the past few weeks. He’s still seen as a 2^nd rounder but a month ago, he was a second dayer. Probably his best feature is he can play center, guard, or tackle and has played all three while in college. That kind of versatility is extremely rare and valuable. He also had a great Combine workout. Then again, so did Mike Mamula. Which is the big question on him: can his measurables translate to on-field ability? The Steelers were burned in this area before (Hello Jamain Stephens) but I’d take a flier on Zuttah if I was stuck picking at the ass end of the 2^nd round.

Mike Pollack C Arizona State & Kory Lichtensteiger C Bowling Green – Two more centers for this team which badly needs to find a guy to bend over and let Ben stick his hands between his legs for the next 5-6 years. I grouped these two together because they’re both late 2^nd/mid 3^rd round types so they are within reach. I also grouped them because they are similar centers in the Mike Webster mold of small, quick, smart guys. Lichensteiger also has a really cool last name which sounds like a tasty German beer. And a team located in Pittsburgh could always use a Pollack. I’d be happy with either of these picks.

Chad Rhinehart OG Northern Iowa - Get this, he’s 6’5″ 325 pounds. Clearly, he’s on the seafood diet…he eats everything he sees. Supposedly he’s pretty athletic and can be coached up. Plus, at that size, if his supposedly decent footwork is decent, he’ll be hard for linemen to deal with. Of course, the knock here is he’s from Northern Iowa. I think they played Robert Morris this year so he’s not exactly been tested against top notch competition. Still, for a late third round pick, he could be a sleeper.

Happy Valentine’s Day, or as I call it, “Buy Your Woman Some Shiny Bling Or Suffer The Consequences” Day. Since I’m all about the theme posts, I wanted to do something sort of romance-oriented today. But what? I guess I could talk about my love of the Pittsburgh Steelers, the finest professional football team ever created. Or I could discuss my newfound man-crush on everybody’s favorite scruffy little buddy, Eli Manning, the man who saved us from the great scourge that is the New England Patriots. Or I could discuss the various storybook love affairs in the NFL today; Tony and Jessica, Tom and Giselle, Brady Quinn and Kellen Winslow. Hey everybody saw “American Beauty,” does he not think we know acting all homophobic is as big a sign as showing up at the Manhole for “Ladies’” Night?

Then I found it. I found my post. The saline-enhanced, scantily clad beauties over at Victoria’s Secret have recently named the Steelers head coach, our own Mike Tomlin, the NFL’s Sexiest Coach. I’m sure the voting was close, what with the metrosexual stylings of John Gruden and the always nattily attired Jack Del Rio, but an honor is an honor nonetheless. He’s just lucky Jimmy Johnson bailed out of the NFL years ago as there’s no way Tomlin’s swarthy Omar Eppsness could overcome that magnificent head of silvery helmet hair. I once saw the Fox pregame show in a howling rain storm and literally not a strand moved out of place. Mighty impressive folks.

If you have a minute, do read the article though. It’s a riot, if just for the comments from random females off the street. “He’s handsome, rich and he’s the coach of my favorite football team,” said Laura Bradley of Squirrel Hill. Well, at least she’s upfront about being a gold digger. “He’s no Denzel or anything.” opined Ashley Whitaker of Squirrel Hill, who likely goes home every night to her dipshit boyfriend with bad tribal tattoos and a trucker hat that he wears askew. I hate when people wear their hats askew. Charece Collins of Shadyside is attracted to Tomlin’s youthful energy but adds “it doesn’t hurt that he’s a millionaire.” What the hell? Did they interview every shameless whore in the entire Oakland radius?

I don’t know if I have any female readers, and if I do, I’m pretty sure that last paragraph has run them off, but here’s an idea. How about doing something for us guys this Valentine’s Day? Frilly lingerie? Nah. Edible underwear? Tastes like stale Fruit Roll-Ups. If you really want to make this a Valentine’s Day to remember, might I suggest you dress like this fine young lady right here.

Trust me, we’ll do a whole lot more than pat you on the ass for your efforts. And if you can work in a “Big Ben” reference at some point before we manage to split the uprights, not only will you probably get some overpriced shiny crap from Kay’s but you’ll win the title of “Best Girlfriend/Wife Ever.”