Ray Lewis looking up to heaven following the Ravens 34-31 victory over the 49ers in Super Bowl XLVII, or the ceiling of the Super Dome. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned in the Super Bowl XLVII Weekend:

• Jerome Bettis snubbed from HOF for another year
• Adrian Peterson wins the Orange Peanut…MVP
• Ray Lewis talks murders before Super Bowl
• Lights go out in Super Bowl for everyone and then just for the 49ers

To all those Steeler fans that thought it would be better to root for the Ratbirds so that the 49ers wouldn’t tie the Steelers for the most Super Bowl wins, how’s that working out this morning?  Not as satisfying as you thought it would be maybe?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.  The worst possible scenario for a Steelers fan has come true, the Ravens are the Super Bowl Champions and Joe Flacco is the MVP.  Ew.  Grab your big gulp of haterade and take some cheap shots with me.

Another Super Bowl weekend has passed and yet again the NFL’s 6^th all-time leading rusher has not been voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Jerome was snubbed yet again in favor of a HOF class that included Warren Friggin Sapp as a first ballot HOF’er.  Nice connections with the NFL Network huh Sapp?  How on Earth Sapp is a first ballot HOF’er and not even Michael Strahan is I have no idea, but I can guess that Sapp is probably already having his bust appraised to be pawned to cover his debts.  The 2013 Pro Football Hall of Fame class is as follows: Warren Sapp, Cris Carter, Jonathan Ogden, Larry Allen, and Bill Parcells.  The two senior selections were Curley Culp and Dave Robinson.

The NFL Honors awards show has gone the way of any typical awards show now for some reason.  It was held Saturday night and has finally settled the debate over the MVP for the league.  Adrian Peterson took home the award along with the award for Offensive Player of the Year.  Whoever was in charge of this shindig really dropped the ball by not presenting Peterson with an orange peanut for either of those awards.  That would have been comic gold.  Peyton Manning took home the NFL Comeback Player award and naturally the NFL Play of the Year was the Ravens converting the 4^th and 29 against San Diego.  So officially nothing has gone the way of Pittsburgh this sports year.  Some things have been self-inflicted and the rest just seems like we’re being punished for something doesn’t it?

The coverage of Ray Lewis and his last ride has been disgustingly constant like a bad case of diarrhea and the crescendo naturally was the Super Bowl.  Ray Lewis sat down with Shannon Sharpe for an interview prior to the Super Bowl on Sunday and for some reason decided to address the families of the murdered young men from that fateful night in Atlanta in 2000.  In what can be gathered from his otherwise mindless blubbering about God and his will, Lewis actually took the opportunity to inform the murder victim’s families that “God makes no mistakes.”  Seriously, he actually said that.  Also adding to the at the very least, insensitive comments Lewis said in response to how he would address the families who still hold him responsible for the slayings,

“If you knew, if you really knew the way God works, he don’t use people who commits anything like that for his glory.  No way.  It’s the total opposite.”

That makes sense.  Ray Lewis couldn’t have played a part in those murders because he’s now so Godly and God wouldn’t have let that happen if he was a murderer.  So that’s that I guess.  What an awful piece of vile trash to say something like that.  And that’s not the only Godly nonsense Lewis spewed during Super Bowl Sunday.  Naturally Lewis was for the most part invisible during the game because he rarely plays a part in any actual football plays anymore, but it still credited for half a million tackles in the playoffs.  Lewis is also taking credit for Jacoby Jones’ 108 kickoff return touchdown to start the second half.  Lewis said that he was told (by God presumably) to place his hands on Jones’ chest before the play and what followed was not by the skill of Jones or the missed tackles on the 49ers special teams, but the divine intervention brought on by Ray Lewis.  Awesome.

Thankfully for the 49ers, following that miraculous kickoff return touchdown the lights inexplicably went off in the Super Dome for a total 34 minutes.  The Ravens were holding onto a 22 point lead at the time and looked to be in total charge of the game.  In the first half Joe Flacco threw 3 touchdowns like it was nothing and Colin Kaepernick was off in his throws and running.  After the power was restored, the 49ers exploded on offense and defense scoring 17 unanswered points and forcing a Ray Rice fumble.  Unfortunately for the 49ers the refs’ purple was sticking out from under their jerseys the entire game.  I’m not saying the game was fixed, but it’s worth pointing out that of the total 7 penalties that were called in the entire game, 5 of them went against San Francisco.  The Ravens seem to be the only team that gets the benefit of defensive pass interference calls these days, which seems to cause their “just let Joe chuck it up in the air” offensive scheme to work so greatly.  Must to every Steeler fans dismay, Joe Flacco was named Super Bowl MVP and will now be paid an embarrassingly large amount of money this offseason by Baltimore to continue his “eliteness” for them for years to come.  If Flacco knows what’s good for him he’d be awful nice to his offensive line and wide receivers once he gets his big money because without them playing out of their minds and catching anything and everything almost in their reach, Flacco and the Ravens don’t get passed Indy in the first round.

Well, there you have it Steeler Nation, the 2012-13 NFL season is a wrap.  Stay tuned to Nice Pick Cowher all offseason long to fulfill all of your Steeler needs with undeniably thorough draft coverage by Dom, breaking news by Craig, offseason storylines by Lori, and smart ass remarks by yours truly.  Here We Go Steelers!

Follow me on Twitter @Kimmy_KimKimM and follow all of NPC’s posts @NicePickCowherC and Like us on Facebook

Is there anything likeable for Steeler Fans about Super Bowl XLVII? Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Everybody knows me at work as the “Steelers fan”. I have my Steelers Mr. Potato Head at my desk, my Steelers coffee mug, my Steelers lunch bag that I bring in everyday, not to mention that I have the Steelers logo tattooed on my leg. When asked my thoughts on the upcoming Super Bowl by a coworker I replied, “This is the worst possible scenario for a Super Bowl for a Steelers fan.” I don’t think that’s being too dramatic. We have to choose between watching another team match our unprecedented 6 Lombardi trophies or watch the Ratbirds covered in confetti. Those are the only options. Either way it’s going to blow. Either way a Harbaugh is going to win. What’s more the game is on CBS where we will be subjected to Phil Simms’ commentary during the game one last time before the NFL goes into hibernation. There are plenty of things not to like about this year’s Super Bowl so how do we keep them straight and how to we enjoy ourselves on what should be a football fan’s happiest day of the year?

The first thing not to like about this Super Bowl is the Harbaugh’s. Hey did you hear that the head coaches for each team in the Super Bowl are brothers? Did you know they grew up in the same house and everything? Amazing isn’t it? I wonder what their parents feel about it. Actually, the odds of two brothers ending up coaching against each other in the Super Bowl as head coaches is quite an impressive and unprecedented event considering in the entire world there are just 32 NFL head coaching jobs. It would be easier to stomach and admire, however, if the two brothers in question weren’t such total douche bags. The Harbaugh brothers throw so many temper tantrums on the sidelines during any given game that the actual term “temper tantrum” should be renamed “Harbaugh”. There are pretty much no redeeming qualities for either one, except maybe that one of them wears purple and the other doesn’t. The worst part is now that it’s late in the week and the “Bro Story” hasn’t really gotten that much press because of the other storylines that have popped up, I can guarantee we’re about to be hit with a tidal wave of Harbaugh-related commentary. (Pun intended)

The second undesirable quality about this year’s big game lies in the quarterbacks for each team. On one hand you have Colin Kaepernick kissing his own bicep and looks like one of those guys that calls everyone “bro” and still wears a collared shirt with the collar popped up. This kid is playing in his 10^th NFL game and it’s the Super Bowl. The endless debate on whether or not the pistol offense is the new way of the NFL is so annoying.  It wasn’t the new way of the NFL 15 years ago when Kordell Stewart was running around all over the place and it isn’t going to be the new way now.  I can’t wait till next season when “Kaepernicking” is synonymous with throwing interceptions or having injured ribs. On the other hand we have Bert “I’m totally elite” Flacco who, once upon a time wasn’t good enough to overtake Tyler Palko for the starting job at Pitt and now has chucked his way into a Super Bowl. Flacco and the Ratbirds ousted both Peyton and Brady from the playoffs thanks to the offensive plan of chucking the ball up in the air and the blown coverage from the defensive backs they’ve faced. To be fair, Baltimore’s offensive line as well as their receivers have been unstoppable during these playoffs but Flacco is getting all the credit that isn’t swept up into the Ray Lewis Last Ride party.

Quite possibly the most objectionable facet of this the pinnacle of all professional sporting events in our country revolves around one Ray Lewis. Lewis is probably one of the most hated athletes in all of Steeler Nation as well as other fandoms and probably more after the ridiculousness that has been surrounding Lewis and perpetrated by him since he announced before the playoffs began that this would be “his last ride” (insert breathy Ray Lewis voice). I find it comforting that not just Steeler Nation gives a synchronized eye-roll once Ray Lewis starts preaching, dancing, or crying for the cameras. First it was Patriots WR Wes Welker’s wife, who posted on her Facebook Page,

“Proud of my husband and the Pats. By the way, if anyone is bored, please go to Ray Lewis’ Wikipedia page. 6 kids 4 wives. Acquitted for murder. Paid a family off. Yay! What a hall of fame player! A true role model!”

Then it was former Giants WR Amani Toomer commenting on the hoopla involved around Lewis during the playoffs and how he always seems to be the center of attention in spite of his contributions to the team.

“If you single yourself out after you make a play, that’s one thing. But to walk out on the field reminds me of the WWE, like The Rock coming out. You’re becoming a caricature of yourself.  It’s exhausting.  I don’t know why somebody would want that.”

Thank you Amani, it is exhausting. The hypocrisy that is Ray Lewis, especially given that now he’s being linked to PED’s and is denying it as if the public has never heard an athlete deny PED use (Hello Lance Armstrong?) is exhausting for lack of a better word.  Then there is former Steelers LB Chad Brown who made the observation that most of us who don’t wear purple camo pants already know and that’s that Ray Lewis is severely overrated as a player.

“I would say 10-15 percent of his tackles he wasn’t actually involved in, and I’d say another 10 percent he was the last guy in and got credit for them.  There were folks behind Ray trying to make him seem bigger and better than he actually is.”

I know it’s not just Steeler fans that are sick of Ray Lewis, everyone else is sick of him too.  I’d like to think that after this game, no matter the outcome, we won’t hear from him again but that’s sadly not the case.  The World Wide Leader has already offered Lewis a lucrative deal to be their newest “analyst” and no doubt they’ll excuse the accusations that he came back from his triceps tear in October to play in these playoffs under the benefit from PED’s just as they’ve excused the fact that he was involved in a double murder for the past 13 years to kiss his ass and act as if every word that comes out of his mouth is gold.

So with all of these undesirable qualities that are surrounding the Super Bowl what is a Steeler fan to do?  Well if you’re an NFL junkie like me you can’t just not watch the game, although I’ll most likely be watching the game playing the role of both of the old guys in the balcony of the Muppets Show.  I doubt I’ll have any good things to say during the entire game aside from, “Huh, that commercial was funny.”  I suggest if you’re going to tough it out and watch the game you set yourself up a Super Bowl spread that will satisfy you.  Use the city of New Orleans, which is where the Super Bowl is being held, as your inspiration.  Order yourself a King Cake, fry up some shrimp and throw some beads across the room to get in the mood.  Hopefully, Steeler Nation will be celebrating the newest Steeler inducted into the Hall of Fame as Jerome Bettis should be announced in the class of 2013 on Saturday.  The Super Bowl is a football fan’s Christmas so we shouldn’t deprive ourselves the joy of celebrating it just because of the douche bags playing in it.   Otherwise there are about 218 days until the Steelers 2013 season will kick off.  What are your thoughts?  Can you watch without rooting for either side?  Would you rather have the 49ers match our 6 Lombardi’s or watch Ray Ray go out with a ring?  Have your voice heard!  Here We Go Steelers!

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A picture of Ray Lewis during practice on Wednesday.
Credit: Jeremy Dominic

In what is referred to as a shocking turn of events, Ray Lewis has been reportedly seen on the practice fields in New Orleans with antlers growing out of his head.

Turns out there were some side effects to taking that deer antler extract after all.  Forget performance enhancing drug ‘roid rage or saggy man boobs.  Somebody make sure there is a flack jacket under his uniform – his head may end up over a mantle if he’s not careful enough.

Lewis is still denying that he ever took deer antler extract, but there’s no denying this dude is an 8-point thing of beauty.  ’This is just a gag, man,’ yelled Lewis. ‘By the grace of God, I bought me an antler headband and decided to wear it at practice!’  Many are still suspicious of Lewis’ claims after he screamed repeatedly when Ravens defensive lineman Haloti Ngata pulled on the antlers sticking out of Lewis’ helmet.

NFL Commish, Rodger Goodell, had no comment on the situation, although some sources claim Goodell could be seen from his office polishing off his 30-0-6 rifle late last night.  League officials report that if Lewis plays with the antlers on his head in Sunday’s Super Bowl, he will be fined somewhere around $15,000 for uniform violations in the final game of his career.

A humble Lewis answers questions about being a great leader, but won’t field questions about the murder trial nor the deer antler extract. Credit: John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

Reports flew and swirled throughout New Orleans when Sports Illustrated broke a story on Tuesday that Ray Lewis used deer antler extract to help speed along his recovery from his triceps injury.  How was it introduced into the body you ask – a spray under the tongue.  As gross as that is, the offensive part of using that extract is that the company that manufactures the extract, Sports with Alternatives to Steroids (S.W.A.T.S), has said that it contains IGF-1 – a banned substance by the NFL.

Of course, when Ray Ray was approached about this during the Ravens media day on Tuesday, Ray completely denied even using the substance during his recovery.  He went even further with his denials.  Here are some of his greatest hits:

- That was a two-year-old story that you want me to refresh.  I wouldn’t give him the credit to even mention his name or his antics in my speeches or my moment. I can’t do it. So I won’t even speak about it.

- Every test I’ve ever took in the NFL? There’s never been a question if I’ve ever even thought about using anything. So to even entertain stupidity like that, tell him to try to get his story off somebody else.

- My only purpose in life is to find different ways to help people and encourage people and make our world a better place

Lewis also gave numerous responses about the murder he was involved in.  He was dismissive and avoided those questions regarding the murder, turning to ‘God’ as reasons and saying,

I just truly feel that this is God’s time, and whatever his time is, you know, let it be his will. Don’t try to please everybody with your words, try to make everybody’s story sound right. At this time, I would rather direct my questions in other places. Because I live with that every day. You maybe can take a break from it. I don’t. I live with it every day of my life and I would rather not talk about it today.

Wow, there’s a lot one could read into that little soap box.  Brushing aside the fact that he’s completely avoiding the situation and somehow is ‘living with it’ (What is ‘it’ exactly?  The murder? Guilt?), he certainly loves to be hypocritical.  ’Don’t try to please everybody with your words…’  One of the many things that pisses me off about this sorry sack of a man is that he loves to get on his podium about being a humble leader and giving all his praises to God, yet he will take up an hour of time on the podium to talk about himself and his career.  This humble man loves to do his epileptic dances whenever he can and seems to place Vapo Rub under his eyes without anyone really noticing for those Insta Tears.  Would you ever see or hear someone like Polamalu do things like this?

There’s so much dirt that exists around this guy, yet he somehow remains one of Goodell’s Golden Boys of the NFL.  His murder trial became an inconvenience and a hardship for Lewis to overcome, never mind the families involved with the murder itself.  It became part of the ‘story’ concocted by the NFL during the Ravens last Super Bowl win back in 2000/2001.  It was disgusting then, and is as disgusting now that he can brush off questions about that part of his past – arguing that none of us are qualified to try to understand.  Sorry for being compassionate human beings, you jag.  Now, during his ‘final ride’ off into the sunset, Lewis is splattered like blood from a knife wound all over the place as a great man who was one of the best LB’s.  ESPN is especially guilty for pushing the Lewis and the ‘Ray-vens’ farewell tour.  The man has become bigger than the team.  Humble indeed.

So here we are with Lewis being accused of taking a substance that potentially contains an illegal substance.  There’s little question as to whether or not he at least had possession.  There are video recorded phone calls, according to the New York Daily News article that owner of SWATS, Mitch Ross, had with Lewis shortly after his triceps injury.  ‘Just pile me up and send me everything you got,’ is just part of the conversation Lewis had with Ross.  But Lewis denies this conversation ever happened.  Is he lying?  Absolutely.  Why admit to taking the substance before you are about to end your career on the biggest stage in the world?  I’m sure he’ll get “Armstrong’ed” soon enough.  But until then, Lewis will still look like the Golden Boy to his teammates, his coaches, the owner, Goodell and every media outlet out there shaking the Tebow cobwebs out of their empty journalistic brains.  It’s quite possible that IGF-1 may not actually exist in the substance, and that even if it did, his body may not have absorbed the IGF.  As plausible as that is, it’s still an illegal substance.  And I can’t help but think that this substance gave him an advantage in his recovery…. and maybe even his performance after his return – he is playing some of his best football in years.  Inspired football? Or chemically induced?  Even if we knew for a fact on this very day that Lewis ingested IGF-1, he would still play in the Super Bowl.  Period.

It’s one thing to hate yet respect a player.  Respect Ray Lewis?  Cold day in hell before I ever could.  He’s played us all for years, and continues to play this humble child of God act – but does it in such an over the top way.  Kind of makes Tebow look like a heathen these days.  Love him or hate him, you have to admit that he’s had a shady past and that his placement upon some golden mantle is unfounded.  No no, my friends, it will be a great day to see this man to never step on the field again.  And hopefully, it will be without another Super Bowl ring.

Tom Brady is sad. That helps a little. Mandatory Credit: Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports

What We Learned in the NFL Conference Championship Weekend

• Steeler Nation is being punished
• Atlanta Defense fails to stop Kaepernick and Davis
• Falcon fan stabbed following NFC Championship game
• Tom Brady blows it and Belichick pouts
• Ray Lewis nothing but humble
• Harbowl already turning people off of SB XLVII

Clearly we’re being punished, Steeler Nation.  We all know we’re spoiled, we expect the Steelers to be in the Super Bowl every year because that’s what we’ve grown accustomed to.  I’m not sure what the egregious offenses were exactly but the Football Gods are clearly not pleased with us and now we must suffer the consequences.  It was bad enough to have to watch another AFC Championship between the Ratbirds and Patriots but now we’re staring down our worst nightmare as we’ll be flooded with nonstop coverage of Ray Lewis and his dancing/crying/preaching farewell tour and the Jagoff vs. Jagoff that will be the Super Bowl between the two Harbaugh brothers coaching.  Ugh.  I’m disgusted already.  Let’s throw out some cheap shots.

Last week we saw Seattle and their offense pick apart the Falcons defense in their comeback from a 20-0 deficit.  This week we saw Atlanta jump out to another easy 17-0 lead, only to blow every chance defensively to stop Kaepernick, Gore, and Vernon Davis collectively.  Also, apparently Randy Moss is still alive and well in the NFL and actually caught a few passes on his way to his first Super Bowl appearance with the 49ers.  While the top seeded Falcons managed to win their first playoff game under head coach Mike Smith and quarterback Matt Ryan, they didn’t seem to have enough gas left in the tank to stop the surging 49ers.  Jim Harbaugh goes from throwing toddler-like temper tantrums on the sidelines to rejoicing over a Super Bowl berth.  Clearly his move to bench Alex Smith following his concussion in favor of Colin Kaepernick has paid off.  A risky move considering Smith was not playing badly and the team was succeeding.  But Harbaugh made his choice and now he’s doing as a coach what he was a Hail Mary batted down in the endzone of Three Rivers Stadium away from doing as a quarterback, he’s going to the Super Bowl.

Following the NFC Championship in Atlanta, a Falcons fan is now recovering in the hospital from stab wounds received in a fight with a 49ers fan outside of the stadium.  If you’re thinking that the most incidents we hear about regarding fan violence sending someone to the hospital stemming around the 49ers, you’d be right.  There have been several incidents of stabbings and fights outside of Candlestick Park in San Francisco following 49ers game against the Giants and Raiders.  The Falcons fan is reportedly in stable condition and there is no truth to the rumors that Ray Lewis was involved in this stabbing although if the police in New Orleans know what’s good for them, they’d be on high alert next week, for all parties concerned.

Speaking of Ray Lewis, how humble is this man?  Just unassuming, going about his business not wanting any attention or praise kind of hard working guy huh?  If you’ve gotten sick of the entire Ray Lewis last ride BS, you’re going to take a turn for the worse before you get any better.  If you like your football without a side of religion, you might not want to follow any part of these purple guys.  Apparently God likes them the most and that’s why they got to finally win and beat Tom Brady and the Patriots.  The Godly Terrell Suggs was heard screaming at reporters to tell the Patriots to “Have fun in the Pro Bowl” and then added, “Arrogant f*****s” just for good measure.  Meanwhile, Lewis was probably leading a prayer circle or a Soul Train dance line in the middle of the Patriots field.

Can’t get away from the fact that the Ratbirds beat the Patriots and beat them soundly.  Tom Brady managed only one touchdown and two interceptions after leading an offense that scored 557 points this season.  Flacco’s policy of chucking the ball in the air and seeing if either his receiver will catch it or if they’ll be the benefactor of a pass interference call is still working apparently.  In all fairness though Anquan Boldin has been catching everything this post season and for his sake I hope he’s gotten his flu shot.  The Ratbirds defense held the Patriots scoreless in the second half of the game.  Following the loss, the hoodie pouted and refused to do the obligatory “we just didn’t make enough plays” interview with CBS on the field but did give his usual emotionless press conference following the game.

For the first time since 2003 the Super Bowl will not have a quarterback named Brady, Manning, or Roethlisberger playing.  Does this make Flacco elite now?  You bet your ass his agent will think it does as Flacco will be renegotiating for a new contract this offseason regardless of the outcome of the Super Bowl.  Make your plans now Steeler Nation, are you going to watch just for the commercials and hope to stomach though the jagoffery or are you going to boycott all together and finally clean that garage out?  Super Bowl XLVII is less than two weeks away and it’s going to blow.

Follow me on Twitter @Kimmy_KimKimM and follow all of NPC’s posts @NicePickCowherC