Who could play Unitas better? Joe Flacco or this statue?

What We Learned This Week in the NFL Offseason:

• Joe Flacco to star as Johnny Unitas in film
• Rob Gronkowski suffers set back with arm injury
• NFL to install cameras in locker rooms for fans inside stadium to view

Break out your Hater-ade it’s time to take some more shots at Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco.  Apparently Flacco has added movie star to his new titles which include Super Bowl MVP, highest paid QB, and overall boring dude.  If you saw this headline yesterday and had an “Um, what?” moment; you’re not alone.  More reports regarding the drama behind the film are coming out now and are pretty entertaining, if you ask me.  Seems as though Mr. Unitas’ son from his second marriage is behind the production of the biographical movie and his older children and grandchildren are none too pleased.

Joe Unitas, John’s son from his second marriage is the one producing the film based on a book by Tom Callahan (who apparently is not Tommy Boy, another disappointment) and is thrilled to have Flacco cast as his father.  John Unitas Jr., and his son JC Unitas, however, aren’t exactly in the same boat.  JC took to his Facebook page to explain his feelings about the choice of Flacco as “embarrassing”.  He added,

“My grandfather and his legacy deserves only the best, and this is not it.  Has Baltimore forgotten that Trent Dilfer also won a Super Bowl while playing for Baltimore?”

Awesome.  I couldn’t have put it better myself.  The story gets better to reveal the family drama surrounding the production of the film.  John Unitas Jr. spoke with USA TODAY Sports to explain how Joe has been estranged from the rest of his half-siblings and they consider him just trying to cash in on the Unitas name.

“It is awful.  The guy’s a turd.  He never talked to me.  He never talked to any of the first five children.  He’s a guy that’s just making money off of my father.  They’re trying to do anything on the coattails of my father’s name.  It’s like prostituting yourself.  My father would have nothing to do with it.”

Apparently the “turd” reference was to Joe Unitas and not, in fact, Joe Flacco although we can all just assume he meant Flacco was a turd as well.

Seems as though The Gronk might have some issues in his recovery from his 114^th arm surgery and might be in jeopardy of missing the opener with this latest setback.  The Boston Globe reported that Gronkowski has been battling an infection in the area in which a metal plate was installed to restore his broken left arm and the plate might need to be removed to clear the infection.  There is no confirmation that the infection has come from his propensity to hang out with porn stars and party at nightclubs shirtless, but we can all draw our own conclusions.  Looks like he will need another surgery which will definitely push back his return to the team quite possibly after the start of the season.  This is bad news for the Pats, who have already lost Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd to free agency this offseason.  If you’re a bitter, spiteful Steeler fan like me you always enjoy some bad news for the Patriots.

The NFL is once again attempting to enhance the fan experience at game stadiums, without lowering ticket and concession costs of course, by installing cameras in NFL locker rooms to give the fans inside the stadium a glimpse into the pre, post, and halftime game speeches.  I’m only assuming that’s what the idea is since I wouldn’t think the NFL is specifically trying to give the fans a peep show.  If that is the case, however, anyone know where I can get my hands on some season tickets?  The NFL has also encouraged teams to use their jumbo-trons to show the unbiased replays in which the refs review, to give the fans in the stadium a more “insider view” on things to counteract how much access a fan watching the game at home can get.  That’s an awesome idea.  I’d gladly pay 3 times face value for seats, $25 for parking and $8 a beer so I can watch the same replays that I could watch from my couch and see Ben get his ankle re-wrapped for the second half when I’m not waiting in line for the bathroom.  I’m being sarcastic of course, but I am a fan that does enjoy the experience of going to games even without these half-assed attempts to improve them.  It’s a little insulting that the NFL can’t bother to improve the game experience in ways that are actually meaningful like lowering ticket prices or increasing fan interaction with players before or after games.

What do you think Steeler Nation?  What’s your opinion on Joe Flacco as Johnny Unitas?  Do you like the idea of locker room cams for stadiums?

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Heath Miller is having a Probowl year for the Steelers. Mandatory Credit: Jason Bridge-US PRESSWIRE

What We Learned in Week 8 in the NFL:

• San Diego out Browns the Browns
• The Patriots should play every game in London
• Jets get housed by Dolphins at home
• Cowboys have genius play calling
• Cam Newton is still pouting
• Steelers bumble bee uniforms sting RG3

Am I right or am I right about Steeler Nation being a happier place to be after a win?  The Steelers put together their best overall performance of the season on Sunday afternoon but we’ll get into that a little later.  We got cheap shots to take.  First up; my favorite overrated quarterback, Philip Rivers.  San Diego, which of course is German for “a whale’s vagina” played as such in Cleveland.  The Chargers failed to reach the endzone the entire game thanks to some bad drops, bad punts, and the super inefficiency of Rivers.  The Browns scored one touchdown on a Trent Richardson run and that proved to be the only points they needed to get passed Norv Turner’s Chargers.  Why does that guy still have a head coaching job again? (more…)

At least my fantasy team won…

A week after getting manhandled by the friggin’ Browns, the New England Patriots marched in to Heinz Field and humiliated the Pittsburgh Steelers 39-26.  If the Saints game on Halloween was the low point of the season, this is the Grand Canyon.  Thirty-nine points are the most the once feared Blitzburgh defense has ever surrendered in a regular season home game.   The win also raises Tom Brady‘s career ownage of the Steelers to six wins against only one loss.

Where do I start?  The Black and Gold came out flat and predictable.  I swear run-run-DEEP BALL is all Bruce Arians has in his playbook.  Meanwhile, the Patriots had fire in their eyes.  Tom Brady was throwing hissy fits left and right.  Maybe it’s his time of the month.

Tommy Bieber marched his boys right down the field on their opening drive, throwing on our inept secondary at will.  The first of three touchdowns to Woodland Hills alum Rob Gronkowski was really the only “excusable” score of the night as William Gay had perfect coverage and was just beaten by a great throw and catch.  Don’t worry, Gay had plenty of bad plays left in him.

Bill Belichick is a genius, alright.  His brilliant strategy of “Find the guy Gay is covering and throw it to him for an automatic first down/touchdown.” is something only his keen analytical mind could concoct.  Gay couldn’t cover a fat girl in a sleeping bag.  Bryant McFadden was nice enough to lay out comfy 6 yard cushions for our guests.  In fact, I can’t think of anybody in the secondary, Troy Polamalu included, who played decently.  We’re ten weeks into the season and it’s clear this five DB nickel package they use against passing formations is NOT WORKING.

The Steelers offense didn’t fare much better.  Hines Ward was concussed on the final play of the first quarter on a helmet-to-helmet hit by James Sanders, snapping his streak of 186 consecutive games with a reception.  Actually, Hines was credited with a reception but the call was overturned on review.  Gotta admire the balls Belichick has for not only getting away with an illegal hit but challenging the play on which it occurred.  By the way, you watch, I GUARANTEE Sanders won’t be so much as fined for that flagrantly dirty hit.

James Harrison, you see, is the only player who pays for hitting people hard.

Speaking of James, did he play last night?  Did LaMarr Woodley?   James Farrior?  I must’ve missed them as the linebackers didn’t so much as harm a hair among Brady’s luxuriously flowing locks.  Much of it has to do with our revamped front three, who were pushed all over the field.  When the defense doesn’t get to the QB, we’re doomed because the secondary depends on hurried/bad throws to make up for their inadequacy.  Lawrence Timmons played but was hurt late in the game.  Losing him for any significant period of time will be an utter catastrophe.

The Steelers had only a little over 100 yards of total offense at halftime.   While Peyton Hillis gashed the Pats for 184 yards last week, Rashard Mendenhall never got on track.  Some of it is Arians clear lack of commitment to the run.  And some is the new O-line not getting much of a push.  Mendy had a couple nice runs toward the end of the half but the running game was completely abandoned when the Steelers fell twenty points behind in the third quarter.

While my fantasy team appreciates his epic garbage time performance, Ben Roethlisberger‘s gaudy numbers were piled up once the game was out of hand.  The revamped offensive line wasn’t great but wasn’t nearly as bad as some had feared.  They surrendered five sacks with at least three of them due to Ben holding the ball too damn long.   At this point it’s too late to teach the big doofus three steps-THROW! but this is why chucking the ball 35+ times a game is a losing proposition.  He simply doesn’t make decisions quickly enough or throw accurately enough for it to pay off.  For how badly the team played, the game wasn’t completely out of reach until Big Ben’s poorly thrown pick-six in the fourth quarter.

Not that his receivers are blameless.  Emmanuel Sanders is certainly no Mike Wallace.  He played like a rookie, dropping a number of catchable balls and running the wrong route on a pivotal play in the end zone.   Antwaan Randle El also got in on the act.  As much as I like ARE, he’s no Hines Ward when it comes to being a sure-handed safety valve.  We can survive losing Santonio but subtract both from the mix and this is a very mediocre group of wide outs.

As if terrible defense and a sputtering offense weren’t enough, our special teams also had their fair share of suck.  Jeff Reed missed a FG, actually a gloried extra point, as his Farewell Tour continues.  There’s a paper towel dispenser in for a rough night.

I apologize for the scattershot rambling nature of this recap but so many things went wrong last night, I have no idea where to focus my disgust.  The entire game was a complete disaster.  No running game, pitiful passing game, horrific secondary, zero pressure from the linebackers, Skippy being Skippy…  It’s a sad state of affairs when the Browns dominate teams (Saints, Pats) that blow out the Steelers.

You gotta hand it to Bill Belichick.   Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the MILF-chasing, sneaky videotaping (thankfully, those hobbies don’t overlap) stone face.  But you have to appreciate his ability to spin straw into gold.  This is actually a rebuilding year for the New England Patriots as they attempt to inject fresh talent in to a team which has only a few remnants remaining from the glory teams of the past decade.   And, yet, they don’t seem to miss a beat, winning the AFC East last season and posting a 6-2 record thus far in 2010.

STEELERS DEFENSE vs. PATRIOTS OFFENSE

Coming off knee surgery, Tom Brady took a while to get back into the swing of things last season but rebounded to post one of his usual fantastic stat lines.   This year, not even his ridiculous Bieber-hair has interfered with his ability to get the ball where it needs to go.  A 14/4 TD-INT ratio puts to rest any worries that Tom Terrific is slowing down.   One concern, however, is a sprained foot which kept him out of practice this week.   Not that Brady has ever been mistaken for a Slash but the ability to slide around the pocket to buy the extra second or two may be something to look for when he faces the Pittsburgh Steelers hellacious pass rush.

WR Wes Welker, coming off a serious knee injury, remains one of the best slot receivers in the league.  Although without Randy Moss stretching the field and keeping the defense from clogging the middle, Welker’s numbers have declined sharply (36, 24, and 25 yards in the past three games).  Part of the slack is expected to be picked up by the returning Deon Branch and second year player Brandon Tate.  Although the Pats best receiving threats have been rookie TEs Aaron Hernandez and Woodland Hills alum Rob Gronkowski.

Shockingly, the Patriots actually rank higher in rushing offense (15th) than passing (17th).  The running back position is a motley crew of misfits.  Oft-injured Laurence Maroney has been shipped out of town in favor of a two-headed monster consisting of Benjarvis Green-Ellis and little Danny Woodhead.   If you watched HBO’s fantastic Hard Knocks this year, you’ll remember Woody as a Rex Ryan favorite.  The 5’8 195 runt has become a New England cult hero because he embodies all the qualities Massholes hold dear (ie:  He’s white).

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick takes a page from his own book and comes out throwing the ball 35 consecutive times like he did in a memorable Monday Night game many years back.  The Browns held them under 70 rushing yards last week while the Steelers remain the top ranked rushing D.  On the flip side, our pass defense continues to slide down the standings on a weekly basis.  Gay covering Welkah or B-Mac giving one of his patented 8 yard cushions to Branch is the stuff nightmares are made of.

STEELERS OFFENSE vs. PATRIOTS DEFENSE

Remember all that nice stuff I said about Billy boy in my introduction?  Well, despite my puke-inducing praise, one fact remains.  The current Patriots defense is garbage.  GARBAGE.

They’re 29th in total yards allowed, 29th in passing yards per game, and 21st in rushing yards per game.  We should’ve seen this coming after the Ravens absolutely humiliated them 33-14 in last year’s playoffs.   But the point was more than driven home last week when Browns RB Peyton Hillis gashed them for 184 yards while Colt McCoy directed a steady attack without throwing a single interception.  Belichick is reloading the defense but it’s very much still a work in progress.

The fly in the Steelers’ ointment is half the team is in desperate need of Tiger Balm.  The offense was decimated by injuries last week.   Heath Miller is battling a gimpy knee.   Mewelde Moore and Issac Redman were both concussed last week but have been cleared by team doctors.  Of course, one bell-ringing hit and Jon Dwyer is a step closer to toting the rock.

Naturally the biggest concern is an offensive line which has been left in shambles.  Max Starks has a herniated disk in his neck which requires season ending surgery.  The Steelers haven’t said exactly what their plan is for Sunday night but I have to think they’ll either move Flozell Adams back to his original LT position or insert Jonathan Scott who started there for Sean Kugler’s Buffalo Bills.  Personally, I’d leave the Hotel on the right side because they’ve been generating great push in the running game.

But wait, there’s more!  Chris Kemoeatu has a double whammy knee/ankle sprain which in his own words is “not good.”  Meanwhile, Maurkice Pouncey is battling a bruised tibia.  Mike Tomlin was hoping both would be good to go but it sounds like only Pouncey is expected to play.  If the line can hold it together with scotch tape and Bubble Yum, Ben Roethlisberger and the offense should have plenty of opportunities against a fairly porous defense.

One final note, I don’t usually mention special teams since I like talking about real football players.  However, Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski has a bum hip and is done for the year.  They’ve brought in former Bungle Shayne Graham to handle FG duties in his absence.

The Steelers were 6-2 at the mid-way point last year and we were saying, “Who cares how you win or how many injuries you have?   We’re 6-2!”   Then we fell into an epic swoon where we lost five straight games against some of the most pathetic teams in the NFL.  I hate to put too much emphasis on one particular game but I feel this is the tipping point for the entire season.  Win this game and I’ll feel a whole lot better about our chances going forward.  Lose or even have another 4th quarter like the one against the Bengals and the alarm bells will continue to grow louder.