Noli nothis permittere te terere

When Ben Roethlisberger dropped to his knees at the conclusion of the AFC Championship game, I teared up a little right along with him.  No man should ever have to experience what he’s gone through this season.  As Super Bowl XLV approaches, be prepared for every one of his sins, a few of them real, most of them imagined, to be rehashed ad nauseum by the horde of reporters covering the big game.  Remember Media Week is more akin to a circus where every garbage picking TMZ reporter or bubble-assed bimbo from TV Azteca is issued a press pass.

Hell, when the NFL offers a goofy blogger like me media credentials, you know anybody can get in.

Remember last week when I told all of you the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl is the NFL’s worst nightmare?  As soon as the first pseudo-journalist questions Big Ben about Milledgville, that nightmare will have become reality.   Don’t believe me?   It’s already started.

New York Daily News fired the first shot with this article condemning ESPN for not rehashing every one of the phony trumped up allegations made by that drunk skank down Georgia.  How dare they skip over every totally unproven detail!  Should we also flash a picture of a mutilated dog every time we speak of Michael Vick?  Or how about the bloody knife Ray Lewis used to stab that guy to death in Atlanta?

Yesterday, the Daily News was trumped in the stupidity department by the venerable New York Times. A hairy arm-pitted disciple of Oprah is evidently upset by the stories of Ben’s redemption.  “How exactly is winning football games making up for mistreating women,” she asks in the same indignant tone she no doubt uses when one of her 37 cats breaks a vase.  She then goes on to suggest, “If Roethlisberger were to take his playoff winnings and use it to make the lives of abused women better,” then he would be redeemed.

Where to start with this inanity.  Truly, it makes me sad that a once great newspaper allows unmitigated hacks to print this drivel within its pages.  First off, honey, nice of you to automatically assume Ben mistreated women without the benefit of pesky little things like facts or evidence.  Perhaps instead of worrying about Ben Roethlisberger, you might pen a column wondering why a twenty year old girl would have such low moral character that she’d get wasted and blow an athlete in a dingy bathroom.  As for the charity suggestion, I guess she missed all the charitable efforts Ben has made on behalf of firemen, policemen, and the John Challis Foundation.

I guess being exceeding kind to a kid with terminal cancer didn’t fit her womyn’s libber agenda.

The caption under the above picture is Latin.  Yes, I speak Latin.  I went to Carnegie Mellon, I’m a nerd.  It roughly translates to “Never let the bastards bring you down.”  Which is a fitting caption, both figurative and literal, for Big Ben’s life.  He never allows opposing players to drag him down without a fight.  And he’s never let the people standing in the way of his dreams take them away.

In 2004, teams fought over Philip Rivers and Eli Manning while Ben was an afterthought.  Ten players were chosen before him, including such luminaries as Robert Gallery and Reggie Williams.  Ben never let the bastards bring him down.

In 2005, people derided him as a game-manager.  He answered them in the playoffs when he out-dueled Peyton Manning among others while guiding the first sixth seed to ever win a Lombardi Trophy.  Ben never let the bastards bring him down.

In 2008, Ben was coming off a sub-par year thanks to the after-effects of a near-fatal motorcycle accident.  People wondered if he was truly a franchise quarterback.  Facing the toughest schedule in 30 years, Ben led six fourth quarter comebacks against a host of playoff caliber teams.   But he saved his best for last when he heroically led the team down the field in the greatest last second game-winning drive in Super Bowl history.  Ben never let the bastards bring him down.

In 2010, Ben was unjustly suspended after baseless accusations by a slutty sorority girl.  Despite no charges being filed, he was vilified in the media and punished by the league.  When he returned to the field, opposing players suckerpunched and cheapshotted him on a regular basis with absolutely no protection from either the officials or the NFL.  In the AFC Championship game, he faced the New York Jets, whose classless fans chanted “She Said No” at the NFL Draft several months earlier despite their inept quarterback having the exact same accusations made against him in college, and defeated them.

When Ben brings home his third championship in six years a little over a week from now, I’m sure he’ll break down yet again.  And he’ll have every reason to.  For at that moment, Ben will have proven once and for all he’ll never let the bastards bring him down.

A couple weeks ago, I was contacted by the fine folks at Champion Sportswear and Athletic Apparel about an upcoming commercial shoot with Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall.   They offered me the unique opportunity to conduct an interview with Rashard which he’d participate in via video format.   I then asked my loyal readers to submit the questions which they’d like him to answer.

Didn’t get the chance to submit your question?  Well, that’s probably because you’re not following NicePickCowher on Twitter.  Click the blue button on the right and make sure to add me so next time you don’t miss out on opportunities such as this.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the above video.  I believe Rashard will be a vital part of this upcoming season, especially if our lowlife quarterback gets what he has coming to him.   Steeler Football just might be making a comeback in 2010.  And Rashard Mendenhall will be the man leading the way.

What a disgrace.

It’s been over two weeks since I last posted about the Ben Roethlisberger situation.  In that time, everybody from veteran Pittsburgh sports reporter John Steigerwald to the hilarious cartoon series South Park have taken their shots at him.  While the Big Laughingstock deserves to be mocked and I have no doubt Steigerwald’s story about Ben blowing off a terminally ill child is absolutely true, I have resisted posting about those things here.  Despite what some of the more ignorant commenters may want to believe, this is not a subject I am particularly happy to write about.   In fact, this is easily the saddest chapter in the history of the Pittsburgh Steelers, to which I am not anxious to pile on.

However, in recent days we’ve finally started to get some facts which provide us with a picture of what went on that night and how the sexual assault case pending against our scumbag QB may or may not proceed.

First, the Georgia investigators withdrew their request for Ben’s DNA.  While some head-in-the-sand Steeler fans took this as a positive sign, they ignored the fact that Ben is still in a ton of trouble as this article illustrates. Czar Roger Goodell wants a word with Ben, which is never a good thing, while coach Mike Tomlin stated he was “very concerned for the future of the franchise.”   Hardly optimistic sentiments.

Then came a strange scenario where it was revealed the bar where the assault occurred no longer has the security footage from the night in question.   Evidently, the tapes were recorded over before the police could confiscate them.   Now, the logical explanation is that Pig Ben and his weasel attorney greased some palms to “accidentally” erase the footage.   After all, this attorney already admitted to hiring private investigators to dress up like college kids in an effort to dig up dirt on the poor victim and we know Roethlisberger has no morals so it’s not much of a leap.

However, we were then given this account of events from the manager of Capital City night club.   It seems the victim had been drinking that night.  Which is a problem since she’s underage.  So let’s see, we have an underage girl drinking when she shouldn’t be and we have a security camera recording the bar area the entire time.

Gee, I wonder why that footage was erased so quickly?

This would explain why everybody is in C.Y.A. (Cover Your Ass) mode.  Capital City has hired a lawyer.  Ben hired Ray Lewis‘s lawyer.  One of the off-duty cops partying with Ben hired a lawyer.

Wait…  What?

Yeah, evidently an off-duty Coraopolis police officer was with Ben that night “as a friend.”  Why would he need a lawyer?  If you read the manager’s account, the victim’s friend claimed when she went to follow her into Ben’s Rape Den the VIP bathroom, she was blocked by Ben’s “friend” who was standing guard at the door.  I have many friends but I never knew blockading a door so your “friend” could manhandle a groupie was part of the Wingman Code.

If this manager’s story is to be believed, we finally have a good idea of how this case is shaping up.  From Ben’s side, he’s going to say him and this drunk girl went to the bathroom for some alone time.   But before he could get little Ben out to play, he grew bored with her and decided to go back to drinking brews with his posse.  On the way out, this slutty drunk chick slipped and bumped her noggin.

Then there will be the victim’s version which doesn’t require you to be a blithering idiot to believe.  She’s going to say, yeah, she was drinking.   So she went into the bathroom with Ben to make out.   After clumsily pawing her, she decided she didn’t want to be degraded by that ape and told him to stop.  He got mad at getting shot down by a cute coed so the hulking imbecile decided to toss her around because nobody refuses a big shot like him.

I’m sorry to rain on some of your misogynistic parades but no means no, even when you’re drunk.  Going into the bathroom with him and even letting him stick his foul tongue down her throat (if things even progressed that far) IS NOT the same as consenting to sex.  I realize some of you, particularly Penn State grads, are not aware of this fact.   But I assure you, women have the right to refuse your advances even if they’ve led you on to some extent.   So save the woman-hating “blame the victim” bullshit for some other blog as it’s not welcome here.

And, if the Rooney family truly wants to run an organization with class and dignity, neither will #7 come this September.

She’s a klutz.

That is the gist of the defense offered by Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in the hours immediately after being accused of sexually assaulting a 20-year-old coed in Milledgeville, Georgia.

In a fantastic piece of investigative reporting, KDKA somehow obtained knowledge of the statement Ben gave the police when questioned in the early morning hours after the alleged assault occurred.   This report gives us our first concrete facts about what happened in that Georgia night club.  Unfortunately, it also raises a lot more questions than it answers.   And it also paints a picture of events which, if true, are far more disturbing than any of us could have imagined.

We now know why this case is being termed a “sexual assault” rather than a rape.  Ben admits to being with her in the bathroom of the club where “contact” happened.  And by “contact,” he means some sort of sexual activity ensued.  However, he states the sexual act was not consummated.  Why it didn’t go to completion, we do not know.  But this would explain why this case isn’t being termed a rape.

It’s the old Bill Clinton defense where a man does something of an obviously inappropriate sexual nature yet throws up his hands and claims innocence because penetration never occurred.   But wait, just when you thought Pig Ben couldn’t be any bigger of a douche, things get even worse.

We also learned why the poor victim was rushed to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning.   Evidently, she suffered a significant head injury while in the bathroom with him.   Ben’s explanation for this is “she slipped and fell” thus explaining the bump on her noggin.  This is the the kind of excuse a nine-year-old boy uses when he smacks his brother with a Tonka truck and then his mother demands to know why the kid is crying.  In other words, only a functional retard would use this as an explanation and only a complete moron would believe it.

The bottom line is we are now given a story against which the victim’s allegations can be tested.  If witnesses (at least those not on Ben’s payroll) can confirm she slipped, Ben is vindicated.  If they can’t, he’s in huge trouble.  This would explain the need to interview so many witnesses.   One person who evidently won’t be interviewed is Willie Colon, who was part of Ben’s group that night.   In an obvious attempt to distance himself from the sinking ship that is Ben’s future, Willie’s agent issued an emphatic statement distancing his client from the sexual predator he blocks for.

Another interesting development in the case is the fact the police evidently acquired some sort of DNA evidence off the victim which they hope to match against Big Ben’s little swimmers.  While it now seems to be a fact that sexual activity did occur, the presence and location of DNA found on the victim could prove extremely damning.  When you paint a picture of a petite young coed alone in a bathroom with a hulking imbecile and the end result being her leaving the bathroom in hysterics with a head injury and his sperm on her body, the image of Roethlisberger quickly goes from him being your typical scumbag jock to a whole new level of human filth.

Of course, the Georgia investigators have not had a chance to re-interview Ben or obtain a sample of his DNA because his weasel lawyer is stalling them.  Yep, that’s totally what an innocent man would do.  By the way, Ben’s lawyer, Ed Garland, also took to KDKA to give a propaganda filled interview to the people of Pittsburgh.    Sorry, Ed, us Pittsburghers are too smart to fall for your line of  bullshit as evidenced by the fact our local radio station is claiming that true Steeler fans are uniting almost 100% against Ben. (Fast forward to the five minute mark)

Garland, it should be noted, was the man who represented Pacman Jones when he started a shoot out at a strip club and also was the guy who got Ray Lewis off of murder charges when he and his posse stabbed two people to death outside a night club on the eve of the Super Bowl.   In other words, Garland isn’t the type of lawyer a falsely accused man hires to prove his innocence.

He’s the type of lawyer a guilty man hires to make sure he gets away with it.

At last!  After 25 years, the Pittsburgh Steelers finally had one for the thumb.

And they did it the hard way.

Things started badly as both Duce and Bus were hurt in the preseason.  That meant starting RB duties fell to a 2nd year undrafted free agent by the name of Willie Parker.  Fast Willie introduced himself by rushing for 161 yards in his first game.  He added 111 more in his second.  The heir apparent to Bettis was finally found.

Still, the team struggled.  Big Ben battled injuries necessitating two starts from his backup, Tommy Maddox.   The team lost both games with Maddox playing terribly.  An overtime loss against Jacksonville saw him throw two interceptions during regulation then fumble a snap in overtime when the team was in game winning FG range.  The defense forced a punt so Maddox took matters into his own hands by throwing his third INT, a Pick Six which ended the game.

Steeler fans dumped garbage on his lawn and taunted his two young children after that game in what was the only time I was ever embarrassed to be a member of Steeler Nation.

As of week 13, the Steelers were 7-5 and on the outside looking in at the playoffs.  The team then reeled off four straight wins beginning with a defeat of the Bears where Jerome Bettis clobbered supposed All-Pro LB Brian Urlacher. They finished the season 11-5 which was only good for the sixth seed.

I’m sure we all know what happened next.  Kimo von Oelhoffen went Kobra Kai on Carson Palmer, sweeping the leg and tearing his ACL.   The Steelers beat the #3 seed Bengals to move on to the #1 seeded Colts.  They thoroughly outplayed Indy but only Big Ben making The Tackle on Bus’s monumentally ill-timed fumble kept Indy from taking the lead.  Karma balanced things out when Indy’s kicker missed the game tying FG.   The Steelers then traveled out to Denver and knocked off the #2 seeded Broncos.

In Super Bowl XL, Pittsburgh faced the NFC’s #1 seed, the Seattle Seahawks.  The signature play was provided on FWP’s 75 yard TD run early in the second half.  However, MVP honors fell to Hines Ward, who caught 5 passes for 123 yards and a TD thrown by the best QB on the field that day, WR Antwaan Randle El.  After fourteen long years, Bill Cowher finally won the big one.

Jerome Bettis announced his retirement following the game, a fitting conclusion to the career of one of the all-time greatest Steelers.

2006

The year got off to a bad start when Ben Roethlisberger was sideswiped by some nearsighted old bat while riding his motorcycle.   Ben suffered life threatening injuries because he was too stupid to wear a helmet.  His entire face had to be reconstructed with screws and Elmer’s Glue.    To add insult to injury, a week before the start of the season, he also underwent an emergency appendectomy.

More controversy raged during the preseason when Bettis, in his new role of NBC commentator, mentioned that Cowher told him he wanted to retire after winning the Super Bowl.  Evidently he felt he owed it to his players and the Rooneys to come back and defend the title.   However, he was burnt out from 15 years of coaching and with a new deal not on the horizon, it became more and more apparent this was his swan song with the Steelers.

The team won their first game with Charlie Batch filling in capably.  Then they rushed Ben back for a Monday nighter in Jacksonville.   Ben looked horrible and despite a superior defensive effort the team lost 9-0.  Between the appendix operation and brain damage from the motorcycle accident, Ben was a shadow of himself most of the season.  They also lost to a Raiders team which would only win two lousy games that year.  At 2-6 at the mid-season point, hopes for a Super Bowl repeat were gone.

Still, the team rallied like champions and went 6-2 down the stretch.  Playing the last few weeks under Cowher’s mantra of “Misery loves company,” they provided a little of that misery to the Bengals in the final game of the season.   Cincy needed to win to make the postseason while the Steelers had no motivation but to send their coach out a winner.  Which they did thanks to a 67 yard TD in OT by Santonio Holmes.

2007

Little known defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin was introduced as the Steelers new head coach.  He immediately established his authority by refusing to let Casey Hampton practice or play until he lost weight.  The veterans may not have liked him but he certainly got their attention.  After the team faded badly down the stretch, some players grumbled it was a result of such a tough training camp.

Boo hoo.

The defense lost a ton of swagger when Joey Porter was released during the preseason.  Peezy was a controversial and colorful character but he was also a ferocious linebacker in the true Steeler tradition.  Of course his replacement, James Harrison, was no slouch either.  In fact, had Joey not gotten thrown out of a game against Cleveland in pregame warmups, Silverback may have never gotten a chance to show the NFL what he could do.

The team roared out of the gate to a 9-3 record.  Then safety Anthony Smith issued his infamous “guarantee” that they’d beat the Patriots.  Tom Brady responded by torturing him for two long TD passes then talking trash.   Smith got burned the next week as his big mouth wrote checks his meager abilities couldn’t cash and the team quickly lost two straight.

Things went further downhill when DE Aaron Smith was lost for the season.  When he went down, the Steelers run defense went right along with him.   Meanwhile, FWP broke his leg in the second to last game of the year.   Parker was leading the NFL in rushing at the time and losing him pretty much wrecked our offense.

The team was one-and-done against Jacksonville.   They fell behind early but mounted a comeback which was repeatedly sabotaged by Tomlin’s boneheaded insistence on going for 2 pt conversions.  Still, who knows what would’ve happened if the refs hadn’t missed about four holding penalties on David Garrard‘s first down scramble that set Jacksonville up to kick the winning FG.   The NFL director of officials apologized for the botch job after the game.   But I thought the calls always went the Steelers way?

2008

Since we’re only one year removed, I’ll spare you a detailed recap.  Suffice it to say, this year featured one of the best single season defensive efforts in history.  Dick LeBeau and his men were either first or second in every major defensive category.  Time and time again, Blitzburgh would create a big turnover or stop the opposition cold in their tracks.  Combined with clutch last-second heroics from Big Ben, the season was about as exciting as any you’ll ever see.

Unfortunately, one very important member of Steeler Nation wasn’t here to see it.  The year began on a sad note when the great Myron Cope passed away.  The man who invented the Terrible Towel was surely looking down with an emphatic “YOI!  DOUBLE YOI!” as the Steelers tore through the hardest schedule given any team in the past 30 years.

In the playoffs, the Steelers faced the Ratbirds for a third time.  Three wins against our most hated enemy is nice enough but doing so for the right to play in the Super Bowl made it all the sweeter.   In the big game, the Steelers faced the man who was their offensive coordinator in Super Bowl XL.   Ken Whisenhunt and his Arizona Cardinals were a surprise entrant but they were a worthy opponent.  The two teams played what is widely regarded as the most exciting Super Bowl ever.  Only a last minute toe-dragging catch by MVP Santonio Holmes ensured that the season end on a high note.  Get it, HIGH note?

2009

Which brings us to this year.  Of course, no post Super Bowl off-season is complete without some Ben Roethlisberger drama.   This time, it came in the form of a rape accusation by a cowboy hat wearing desk clerk out in Reno.

To further incur the Football Gods wrath, the folks at EA Sports put Troy Polamalu on the cover of their video game.  The Madden Curse struck immediately as Troy was injured in the Steelers very first game.  He came back briefly but this season has been a total write-off as far as he’s concerned.

Still, this squad got off to an excellent 6-2 start.  Then the wheels fell off.  Losses to three of the worst teams in the league mixed with a sweep by the Bengals.  Ben was concussed in an OT loss to KC.   Hines Ward went on national tv and called his QB a sissy.  Tomlin issued threats and ultimatums which his team ignored.  The defense couldn’t hold a lead while the offense repeatedly failed in the red zone.  Ryan Clark accused the 400,000 fans who came to cheer him on just 10 months earlier of being “fairweather.”   Losses mounted until the streak reached five straight.  Only a slight rebound toward the end of the year has kept the team’s slim playoff hopes alive.

It’s looking like the decade will end much like it began.   With the Steelers on the edge of greatness, searching for that missing player or two that will put them back into serious championship contention.

Still, two Super Bowl championships in four years and multiple playoff games made this an exciting time to be a Steeler fan.  Without a doubt this was the best decade for the Black and Gold since the 1970′s.   I’m sure we appreciate this team giving us memories we’ll carry for a lifetime.  Here’s looking forward to more yet to come!

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