Nice Pick, Cowher » roller derby

Steelers Flick The Booger

chris — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:44:49 +0000

Whoops.

Looks like Anthony “Booger” McFarland isn’t about to use the Terrible Towel as his personal Snot Rag of Doom any time soon. According to the Beaver County Times, the reason my witty headline went for naught is he failed his post workout physical. Shocking, I know, considering the reason he was released in the first place was he failed a physical. Guess that Wolverine-like healing factor the Steelers thought he possessed didn’t kick in yet.

I apologize for jumping the gun in bringing you the exciting news that we signed Booger. Serves me right for reading a Post-Gazette headline entitled “Steelers sign McFarland” and then seeing ESPN‘s news ticker confirm the news and believing them both. I should obviously know better than believe our city’s largest newspaper and the undisputed leader in sports. In the future, I promise to bring you all Steeler news three or four days late, thus ensuring the information is indeed accurate.

Speaking of exciting and accurate information, one signing I can confirm is the Steelers have re-signed defensive end Nick Eason. This is no doubt a case of having to settle for your second choice because your first one didn’t pan out. Kinda like in high school when you end up going to prom with that dorky girl you used to fling paste at in Kindergarten because the cute blonde cheerleader you really wanted to go with didn’t pass her physical. I suspect the clap.

Eason will be returning for his second season in Pittsburgh after coming over from the Brownies. That right there should tell you he’s a shitty player because the last good thing to come outta Cleveland is Drew Carey. Seriously, though, I admire the Steelers desire to keep their own players instead of acquiring other teams’ scraps but that’s only admirable if the guy, you know, CAN ACTUALLY PLAY. All available evidence suggests Eason cannot.

Which is a bit of a problem considering you’d want a back-up who could actually step in for, one might say back up, the starter. When Aaron Smith went down last year, Eason was given the start. And, as I’ve recounted serveral times, the rush defense blew. He was immediately replaced by Travis Kirschke. And the rush defense still blew, but it blew slightly less.

After the season ended and the tears from the Jacksonville loss had dried, head coach Mike Tomlin said the Steelers needed to get younger and better in the trenches. I don’t always understand Tomlin’s coachspeak but I guess by “younger,” he meant re-signing the 34-year-old Kirschke and by “better” he meant re-signing the guy who had to be replaced for poor play. Perhaps Tomlin knows something we don’t. Maybe he’s hoping that Ryan “Steely” Mcbean will, in his second year, gain the bulk, strength, athletic ability, and knowledge of the defense which will allow him to contribute to the team in a useful way. At this point, I’d give anybody a shot to break up the law firm of Kirschke & Eason.

Player Personnel Director Kevin Colbert would like to address the defensive line with a 2nd or 3rd round pick but we also need offensive linemen and there’s the big tall drink of water Ben Roethlisberger wants at reciever so, as I always tell my father, you can’t please all your mistresses. Once you’re past the third round or so, you probably won’t find any better quality than you already have. In which case, I hope they keep Booger’s number on the speed dial because, hey, maybe that healing factor will kick in eventually.

Steelers Pick A Winner: Here Comes Booger

chris — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 19:11:30 +0000

Toldja they read our blog.

The Pittsburgh Steelers, having evidently read John’s post on the city’s Roller Derby scene, were not to be outdone by the Wrecking Dolls having a player with the WWE-esque nickname of “Snot Rocket Science” so they went out and one-upped them by signing former Tampa Bay Buccaneer defensive end Anthony “Booger” McFarland.

I’d love to give you a scouting report on good ‘ol Booger but alas, he tore his patella tendon and missed the entire 2007 season. However, McFarland should still be somewhat familiar to football fans as he was a starter on two Super Bowl championship teams. He was highly regarded enough for the Indianapolis Colts to give up a second round draft pick for his services a couple years ago when it finally occurred to them that occasionally stopping the other team from scoring might be a better idea than simply hoping to score 55 points a game. Unfortunately, their high regard immediately plummeted to callous disinterest when he failed a recent physical.

Still, I like this signing for two reasons and since they are pretty insightful, I will share them with you.

1) McFarland probably still has some gas left in the tank. I know the temptation is to lump this in with the other Steeler Reclaimation Projects (see Barlow, Kevan) as doomed for failure but I’m not totally sure about that. McFarland played in Tampa Bay for defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Who was Kiffin’s defensive backs coach? Mike Tomlin.

This could very well be a case where McFarland took a bargain basement contract from an old friend with the hope that he can prove he can still play and thus earn a better deal from the Steelers or another team somewhere down the line. The NFL is a cruel, harsh place where dreams go to die. Kinda like Vegas. They don’t suffer cripples or invalids and if you can’t play, you’re thrown in the garbage heap with the rest of the trash. But every once in awhile, all you need is a little spackle, a little bondo, and a little TLC to transform that broken old lamp into an awesome bedpost/door knocker. Damn you, Ty Pennington!!

2) The Steelers need the depth. Last year, we pulled off the rarely done Defensive Hat Trick of leading the league in pass defense, run defense, and total defense. Then DE Aaron Smith went down. What happened? Well, that’s why I have his name listed in the Steelers MVP voting over on the right. We immediately surrendered 150 yards to the Jets’ Thomas Jones. Then we got gashed by some third string rookie making his first start for Cincinnatti whose name I can’t even be bothered to remember. Then, worst of all, came the 200+ yard wrecking that Jacksonville dumped on us.

It’s almost like the Steelers sometimes forget football is a contact sport. People get hurt. The 11 guys who start the season aren’t likely to be the exact same 11 who finish it. Some soldier inevitably falls along the way. It’s a game of attrition.

Now, I understand you can’t have 11 starters and then also have 5 back-ups as good as the starters. You simply can’t pay everybody. But the drop-off between starter and back-up doesn’t need to be quite that severe. With most teams, if the starter is an honors student, the back-up is in college prep. With the Steelers, our back-ups ride the short bus.

Last season, the law firm of Kirschke & Eason was an utter disaster. One player, albeit a great one, went down and our entire run defense collapsed. If McFarland can play at anywhere near his previous level, he gives us a very solid run-stopper to plug in whenever need be. Will be beat out any of our starters? Highly unlikely. But if injuries occur, and we all know they will, we won’t have to worry about our entire defense going down with them.

All in all, a very nice pick up by the Steelers. I know it gets frustrating that while other teams are in luxurious showrooms checking out the latest Audi or BMWs, we’re in the used car lot kicking the tires and hoping to make lemonade out of a lemon but you can’t argue with success. And there really aren’t many teams in the NFL better at managing, maneuvering, and surviving life in the salary cap era than your Pittsburgh Steelers.

Hot Metal Hellions edge out Wrecking Dolls in Steel City Derby Demons season opener

Zach — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:54:14 +0000

by John Cihon

A lot of readers of this blog may not be aware that Pittsburgh has its own roller derby league, which had its season opener this past Saturday night. I’ll be covering their whole season over at http://johncihon.blogspot.com/ The style of roller derby Pittsburgh plays is hard hitting and brutal, and might appeal to football fans looking to find a way to kill some time before training camp starts.

On Thursday, we’ll go back to the Steelers and the 99 problems they’re having lately.

This past Saturday night the Steel City Derby Demons, Pittsburgh’s female roller derby league and members of the Woman’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), staged their second season opener between the 2007 Championship runner-up Hot Metal Hellions and Wrecking Dolls.

After the Pittsburgh Steel Man, a familiar sight at Pittsburgh sporting events who wore discarded steelworker protective gear decorated in black and gold, welcomed the crowd, the match got under way. Although ‘Snot Rocket Science of the Wrecking Dolls scored first, the teams remained evenly matched through the first period, neither team gaining a strong advantage. During the second jam, a five-girl pileup occurred that ensnared Hellions captain The Crippler, and although she initially appeared to slow following the accident, she managed to come back and score shortly afterwards. Crip played strong all night, displaying no sign of any adverse effects from the shoulder injury she suffered at the hands of the Dominion Derby Girls of Virginia Beach back in February. At the end of the first period, the score was tied at 62 all.

As the second period started, two Hellions were in the penalty box, and penalties really controlled the match from that point on. The Hellions kept at least one player in the box until the 22:25 mark of the second period, and it showed in the score as the Wrecking Dolls, led by a very strong ‘Snot at jammer, ran up an eleven point lead, with 91 to the Hellions 80.

At 16:47, the game was stopped when ‘Snot got a hard hit on Hellion Maid of Steel, who exited the game with a possible broken nose. ‘Snot exited the game with a major penalty. ‘Steel returned to the match shortly thereafter, and is expected to make a full recovery.

‘Snot, clearly loving the game and excited to be playing, had fallen out of her skates before the match and duct-taped them on. Her excitement hurt her, however, during the second period as she gathered multiple penalties for false starts. Despite the penalties, she continued to play strong, taking the jammer spot for the Dolls about half the time during the second half of the match. The Hellions, on the other hand, divided the jammer duties up much more evenly, with The Crippler, Sugarplum Scary, and newcomer Mel Practice all effective at the jammer spot. Although the Hellions had started the period with two members in the penalty box, the penalties ultimately exacted a greater toll on the Dolls, who saw their lead evaporate until at the 6:20 mark, the score 117-112 Hellions. The Dolls had a strong, flashy offense throughout the night, but the penalties served to negate it, leaving the bulk of the job on the defense. Before the match, the Crippler told me that every girl on the Hellions tries equally hard and there were no standouts, and their strong defense attested to that. Hellions Bench manager Blissy Sadistic attributed the Hellions strong defense to a new pair-blocking defensive scheme they were using.

The final blow came for the Dolls at the 4:11 mark, when ‘Snot fell down hard and injured her hip, leaving the game. At that point, the Hellions led 125-115. Although ‘Snot was ready to return almost immediately after leaving, by rule a player is prevented from returning after a ref calls off a jam due to injury for the next three jams. After the match, Wrecking Dolls co-captain Ally McKill reflected, “Snot is just a superstar, and that was the worst luck of the night to have her go out in that jam. . . There is no one we’d rather see at the jammer line with the game on the line (and no one the other team would rather NOT see, haha) so that was a really bad break for us. I don’t think there’s anything we could have done differently, though…it was just bad luck.”

Barred from using their strongest offensive player, (although McKill played valiantly and trimmed the Dolls deficit to three points at the :25 mark), the Wrecking Dolls were no match for the Hot Metal Hellions strong defense. The Dolls’ fate was sealed when newcomer Genghis Mom fouled out on the last jam, leaving the final score at Hellions 138, Dolls 127.

After the game, Blissy Sadistic attributed the Hellions strong play in a close game to the experience her players gained against other teams on the road, stated that the close play throughout the match was a credit to both the league and the relative strength of all the teams going into the new season.

All McKill stated, “The penalties were incredibly frustrating, and I think they had a big impact on the game. I think the Wrecking Dolls are generally one of the cleanest-playing teams in the league and we pride ourselves on that, so all of the penalties were rather surprising. It’s just something you have to deal with and move on though, I guess. We’ll just have to work harder on making sure our play is always very clean.”